Hello again, here is another chapter for you, a longer one. I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.
Two months after the funeral of Castiel Novak, the day the Winchesters first met Doctor Jessica Moore…
Sam had listened to Gabriel telling him his brother needed help now and was out the door before he could truly think about it. He didn't even question what Gabriel had said or done to his brother, his only thought was to get to him. He drove like crazy and screeched to a halt outside Deans building, bounding up the stairs and unlocking the door in record time. Once through it he stopped to breathe heavily and that was when he heard it. A muffed sob coming from the front room, moving cautiously he went and pushed the door open. His eyes widened at the sight that greeted him. For their curled up on the couch was his brother. He had his head in his hands and was pulling on his own hair as if he wanted to yank it out.
"Dean, Dean. DEAN." He had to yell to get his brothers attention. When his voice had penetrated Dean's mind his brother lowered his hands and raised his head and Sam saw the look of horror in his brother's eyes. As if he didn't want Sam to see him like this, as if he had been locking this inside himself. Always the big brother protecting little Sammy from all the bad in the world. But Sam had had enough. Dean could not continue like this and if he wouldn't talk to him, then he would find someone he would talk to.
"You need help Dean. You need to talk to someone, no, don't even bother trying to deny it, I'm not listening. I'm going to make you an appointment with this doctor whose been recommended to me and you are going to go, even if I have to drag your sorry ass there myself. Understood?" Sam snapped at him making Dean just blink and open and close his mouth. He had never seen this side of his brother, Sam was the caring one, the sympathetic one, the one who wanted to discuss feelings. He wasn't the one who issued orders and expected to be obeyed. It was because of this shock at his brother's behaviour that Dean didn't react when Sam pulled his phone out of his pocket and set up an appointment with Dr Jessica Moore for the following day. He then watched as Sam called his place of work and informed them he wouldn't be in the next day.
Dean wasn't sure what to do, but when Sam had his back turned to Dean he looked around, he was tempted to down the bottle of whiskey, but he had a horrible feeling that Sam would snatch it off him right now as if it was nothing. It was then that he eyes fell on the photo on the table that Gabriel had left. He didn't want to look at that. He didn't want to see what a stupid idiot he had been for not seeing the truth earlier, but he didn't want his brother to see it and realise the truth either. With that though he moved smoothly but slowly into a sitting position and slipped the photo from the table and pulling out his wallet placed it inside. No one would see it there, least of all him.
The next morning found Dean and Sam sitting in comfortable chairs in the waiting room of a grief councillors office, well she was actually a phycologist who specialised in dealing with grief, but Dean didn't really care about such semantics, though he knew if he had been with him, he would have given him a lecture on the differences just so he would learn something. He was always trying to teach Dean more, or he had been.
"Doctor Moore will see you now." The kind looking receptionist said dragging Dean out of his thoughts as Sam grabbed his arm and pulled him up.
He proceeded to pull Dean towards the doctor's door, as if he didn't trust his brother to walk there on his own. Which Dean had to admit was a good call, he was all for running hell for leather in the opposite direction and finding the nearest bar.
Sam opened the door and stopped shot, for there sitting behind a desk was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She had her blonde hair neatly tied back and a friendly smile on her face, but it was more than that. There was something about her that Sam couldn't define but it drew him to her like a moth to a flame.
Dean following Sam was confused by his brother's behaviour, and wondering what it was that had caused his brother to hesitate he looked into the room. He saw an exceptionally pretty young woman inside but that was it. Turning to his brother though he saw the look in his eyes, it was one he knew he had seen in his eyes more than once when he had looked at him. With that he turned back to the woman and found an answering look on her face. So love at first sight was real then. Well looked like he would have to come see this Dr Moore long enough to get her and his brother together at least. Because the look in Sammy's eyes reminded him of his pledge not long ago to live for his brother, to make sure his brother had everything he wanted, and it was obvious to Dean that Sam wanted this woman.
"Hello I'm Doctor Jessica Moore but you can call me Jess. Please come in a sit and tell me how I can help you two." The woman said in a soft gentle voice which sang in Sam's ears as he nodded and did as he was told.
Dean just rolled his eyes at the besotted look Sam was giving her.
"Hi Jess. I'm Sam Winchester and this is my brother Dean. He, well, um, he lost his best friend a couple of months ago and isn't dealing with it well." Sam said once they both had sat ignoring the glare he got from Dean for his choice of words.
"I am very sorry for your loss Dean. Do you know how long it's been exactly?" Jess asked with a sympathetic glance and Sam held his breath wondering what his brother's response would be.
"Yes." Dean replied emotionlessly, of course he knew exactly, he knew to the minute and second.
"Would you like to tell me?" Jess asked softly, she could see that the person Dean had lost was much more to him than just a friend whether his brother knew it or not.
"No." Dean snapped at her. He was not going to be spilling his heart to this woman, even if she could be just the person for Sam, especially if she could be just the person for Sam.
"Very well. Do you want to talk about your friend?" Jess asked trying another way to get the man to open up, though she did keep getting distracted by his far too attractive brother.
"No." Dean replied simply.
"Maybe tell me his name?" Jess suggested. She would get something out of this man, eventually, everyone wanted to talk at some point in the grieving process, and it was the way that people moved on with their lives.
"Castiel." Dean finally replied so quietly that she almost didn't catch it. The heartbreak in his voice made her own hurt. He must have truly loved Castiel to feel this way. She hoped he would let her help him through it.
"That's a nice name." She answered with a smile for Dean.
"He's a nice man." Dean replied in a wistful tone not looking at her anymore but gazing out of the window.
"Yes I'm sure he is. I would like to get to know him." She said gently hoping to get him to open up, taking note of the fact that Dean had used the present tense rather than the past one to discuss Castiel and replied accordingly.
Sam had sat and watched the two talk, not getting involved however much he wanted to answer the questions when Dean took too long to respond. But he didn't. He knew that Dean had to do this not him. Instead he studied the doctor, she was so kind, he could see it in her eyes. So kind and beautiful.
Dean sat there staring out of the window wondering what to say. He had already made the concession and said his name, what more did they want? He would have walked out at that question if it hadn't been for the fact that he didn't want Sam making the same mistake as him and not grabbing love when he found it. So now it was decision time. If he wanted Sam and the doc to get together, he was going to have to make them meet. Which would mean he was going to have to come to these damn sessions. And he was going to have to talk. And while he could decide what he wanted to talk about, he knew it would have to involve him. So… what to say?
"He's a genius, always helps Sam with his homework…" and with that Dean fell into relating one of the many stories from his and Sam's shared childhood. Most of which involved him in some way, through throughout the whole story he didn't turn and look at the people in the room once, and he didn't say his name again. Something that did not go unnoticed by Jess.
After that Dean went to see Dr Moore two times a week, always giving her just enough to think he was co-operating. And making sure that all he said involved Sam in some way, showing him in a glowing light. After two months of this Jess reached the end of all her expertise and called Sam into her office.
"I can't help you brother any more Sam. I don't know what it is, but there are things that he is not telling me, and he has still not said Castiel's name again. I don't know what to do to help him, I'm sorry, I have tried everything. But he doesn't want my help." She said in the kindest voice she could. She really did wish she could help Dean, but until he realised he needed it, then she would be able to do nothing.
"Then why does he keep coming? I know my brother, and if he didn't want to do something, he won't do it." Sam replied with a frown trying to work out what was going on. He had thought that Dean was getting better, coming here voluntarily and everything.
"I think he might have some ulterior motive." Jess hinted wondering if Sam knew just how observant his brother truly was when it involved him.
"Like what?" Sam asked completely confused by that sentence. What possible reason could Dean have to come here, did he like Jess or something? But no Sam hadn't seen Dean remotely interested in any woman since Cas' death. In fact he hadn't seemed remotely interesting in anything since then, not really.
"He seems to mention you a lot of times in our sessions." Jess said again, hoping Sam would understand what she was saying without her having to actually say the words, she really did like this man.
"Yeah well, we're very close." Sam replied with a nod. I mean that made sense to him.
"I can see that. But the way he mentions you, it is almost as if he is trying to show me what a wonderful person you are." Jess replied with a sigh and a smile at how oblivious Sam was being.
"I don't know why he would do that." Sam said with a shrug and a frown, but it was just another mystery that was his brother.
"Don't you? I have an idea." Jess finally said with a flirtatious smile on her lips making Sam blink at seeing it before he took a deep breath and spoke.
"Oh yeah?" he asked but it was quiet, the look on her face making it very hard for him to breathe, damn he really needed to stop lusting after his brothers psychologist.
"Yes. Tell me Sam, if I invited you out for dinner, would you come?" Jess asked deciding it was time to take the bull by the horns.
"Well, um, yes. But I would pay." Sam replied as he realised suddenly what was going on here, and what Dean had been trying to do. The damn idiot.
"I can agree with that." Jess responded with a nod and a genuine smile on her face.
"So it's a date?" Sam asked hopefully.
"Yes." And that was the start of Jess and Sam and the end of Dean having to go to his damn sessions with the doc, he could go back to dealing with his death in his own way.
