Chapter 11 - One and Only

March 17, 2012 – Seattle

"Freddie Bear! I'm home!"

He heard his mother approaching and began to mentally prepare himself. He and Carly had just spent the last two hours talking and planning. At this point the biggest decision to be made required no thought on his part; he was going to Willacoochee. The question wasn't what to do but when. After reading Sam's final letter to him, every second he wasn't on a plane headed to Georgia felt wasted. He was ready, and now he knew that Sam was too.

There was only one problem. He was supposed to be on a plane headed for Washington D.C. in the morning. N.I.T. had offered him a spot in their Young Scholars summer program. It required him to meet with the director of the program in Washington D.C. He'd gotten the letter along with his N.I.T. acceptance and just three days ago, with no word from Sam, he'd accepted. The meeting was scheduled for the day after tomorrow. His mother had been packing for two days now; he'd never seen her so excited or proud. He'd never really gotten excited about it. Any life path that didn't include Sam or his son wasn't one he was particularly interested in. But when he'd had no word from Sam, he'd had no reason to give his mother for turning it down, so he agreed to go. Now he'd have to tell her that plans had changed. He'd still be on a plane tomorrow, heading toward his future, but that future now lay in Willacoochee, Georgia.

He stood over his suitcase, the same one he'd packed for his trip to N.I.T.; he'd had to make some changes to the contents. He'd gotten rid of all the dress shirts and ties, traded his dress shoes for Chucks and gotten rid of the portfolio he had planned to show to the Dean of Electrical Engineering and Computer reached down beside his suitcase and picked up a small blue gift wrapped box. Inside was his old stuffed bear Charlie. He wanted to bring something for the baby, and Charlie seemed like just the right thing. He placed the box gently in the corner of his suitcase on top of the small framed picture he normally kept under his pillow. It was a picture of him and Sam. They were dressed up, getting ready to go out to dinner when Carly had snapped the picture. Sam looked gorgeous, her blond hair down and loose, a fitted black dress hugging every curve. She had on arm wrapped around his neck and was making a goofy face at the camera. He was staring at her with a smile on his face. He remembered that he'd been thinking how lucky he was to be standing there with a woman that beautiful who wanted to be with him. He smiled at that thought.

As crazy as this whole situation was, he couldn't concentrate on the difficulties right now. He was much too absorbed in his thoughts of Sam and the baby. In less than 24 hours he'd be with them, holding them, loving them. He'd be able to plan a future that revolved around the two most important people in his world. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but in his gut he knew that as long as he had Sam and his son, everything else was just details.

"Freddie, honey? Didn't you hear me calling you?"

He turned to see his mother standing in the doorway. She was still dressed in her scrubs from the hospital but in her hand she held the clipboard. It was the same one she used anytime there was something to plan and in Marissa Benson's world there was always something to plan. Running her eyes over it quickly she looked back up at him.

"Are you all packed? Do you have your ticket? Did you pack your personal first aid kit? And your vitamins? And the anti-bacterial wipes for your carry-on?" She barely gave him a chance to reply as she ran down her list, rattling off instructions. When she finally came up for a breath he looked at her intently.

"Mom…I need to talk to you about something."

She didn't look up from her list "Freddie, honey, does it have to be right now? I have a million things to do and we've got to be up early for the flight. Tomorrow's a big day and you know you need your…"

"Mom!" he said, more insistently this time. This wasn't the time for one of her rants. He had important things to discuss, and not much time to do it in. "No, it can't wait. I need to talk to you now."

That got her attention. Freddie raising his voice at her didn't happen often and when it did, it tended to be over something she didn't want to hear. From the look on his face, this wasn't going to be any different. She walked into his room and sat on the bed.

"Well, what is it?"

He took a deep breath and walked over to his desk, pulling out his N.I.T. acceptance letter. Walking back to the bed he moved the suitcase over and sat beside her, handing her the letter.

"Fredward," she said, looking frustrated, "Why are you giving me this? I've read it 14 times. I have a copy of it framed in the living room." She reached over and patted his hand, a smile on her face now. "I'm so proud of you honey. You worked hard and now you're getting this amazing opportunity. I just can't wait for…"

"Mom" he said evenly, "I can't go."

"Oh, Fredward. I know you're nervous…anyone would be but this is going to work out just fine. They're going to love you! There's nothing to be nervous ab…."

"No Mom, you don't understand. I'm not going. I'm not going to N.I.T., not tomorrow and not in the fall."

"Fredward! What in heaven's name are you talking about? N.I.T is all you've talked about for three years. It's your dream! And they've already accepted you. This makes no sense!"

He handed her another letter. The acceptance letter from the University of Washington. He hadn't told her that he'd applied; this would require telling her why staying in Seattle was so important. And with the issue of where Sam was still up in the air, he hadn't thought it smart to talk to his mother about it. But now, there was no way around it. She had to know.

She read over the letter and looked up at Freddie.

"So you want to go to The University of Washington instead?" Freddie nodded, "When did you decide this? Why didn't you tell me? I thought N.I.T. was the only school you wanted to go to?" She paused and frowned. "You're going to have to start explaining yourself Fredward, because I don't understand."

"I applied to UW two months ago. I was pretty sure then that N.I.T. wouldn't work for me, but I wasn't ready to tell you why." He looked over at her before reaching down into his back pocket to retrieve his wallet. Opening it he reached into the pocket and withdrew a small picture. Taking a deep breath he glanced down at the picture before handing it to his mother.

He studied her face as he handed it to her. As he watched her eyes go wide, a gasp escaped her lips. Her hands were shaking as she held the picture, looking from it to him and back. He watched as she took it in, the small white dot that was his son, and then saw her eyes travel to the top of the picture and he knew what she was reading.

Puckett, Samantha.

He was sure his mother, unlike he, knew what the photo was as soon as she'd seen it. She was a nurse in the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit. If there was anyone in his life who'd know an ultrasound photo at first sight, it was his mother.

"This is why you can't go to N.I.T.?"

Freddie nodded.

His mother looked at him, her lips trembling. "But Fredward…this is…it's…." She was floundering in her inability to say the words.

"It's my son. Mine and Sam's."

The silence was deafening as Freddie watched his mother for a reaction. She did not disappoint. Her face crumpled as she began to cry silently, her shoulders shaking. She dropped the picture to the bed and buried her face in her hands. The sound of strangled cries escaped from behind her hands but she offered no words.

"Mom…Mom say something. Please." Freddie reached to pull her hand away from her tear-soaked face and cringed as she recoiled.

"What do you want me to say Fredward!" a flush of red building from her neck and flooding her face as her eyes bulged in anger. "I'm sorry but I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to say when my seventeen year old son tells me that he's ruined his life!"

"Mom! I haven't ruined my life!"

"Oh really?" she said, standing from the bed quickly, the papers she'd been holding in her lap fluttering to the floor. "Then what do you call it, Fredward?" she laughed mirthlessly, "Am I supposed to be happy about this? Am I supposed to shake your hand? Say congratulations? You got a girl pregnant Freddie! And of all the girls in the entire world…Sam? I thought it was over between you two!" Her breath was becoming rapid and shallow. He'd never seen her this way, completely out of control. For a split second he wondered…is this how he looked when he'd confronted Sam?

"Mom…you need to calm down." He reached out to her, his eyes pleading. "I'm so sorry…I know it's a shock and I know I should have told you sooner but…"

"Sooner? You mean you knew about this before now?" The tears returned, running unhampered down her cheeks. "Freddie…how could you do this to me…to yourself? What about your plans; your future?" She walked over to his desk, bracing herself against the edge, her back to him. "Is this why I haven't seen her lately? Is this what's been going on?"

"She left four months ago. I...I didn't handle it very well when she told me." Sort of like you, he thought. "I didn't know where she was or if she was even going to let me be a part of the baby's life. But I found her. She's in Willacoochee, Georgia." He paused and tried to think of a way to soften his words; there wasn't one. "I'm leaving tomorrow to go get her…and bring her back to Seattle. That's why I can't go to D.C." He sat staring at his mother's back, waiting for her to say something, wishing he knew how to make this easier for her. "Mom…I'm so sorry I hurt you. And I'm sorry that I kept it from you this long. But I won't apologize for my son, and I won't apologize for doing what I have to do to be a part of his life. I know you had plans for me…I had plans for myself. We've had my future mapped out for as long as I can remember. But Mom, Sam…and the baby, they're my future now."

They sat in the tense quiet for several minutes, neither knowing what to say or how to react to the other. Finally his mother turned to face him. His heart broke at the disappointment he read there. It was a look he hoped he'd never see again. Anger flashed on her face, matched only by the hurt he saw in her eyes.

"I will not let you throw your life away. I won't allow it." Her voice challenged him, but what was at stake was too important for him to back down.

"I'm not throwing my life away." He stood and faced her, shoulders squared, accepting her challenge, "And I'm not asking your permission."

They stood staring into each other's eyes, neither willing to give in or back down. His mother broke contact first, swinging her eyes to the floor as she rushed quickly from the room.

"Mom!" he called after her. His words were met with a slamming door.

He sighed deeply and sank onto the bed, shaking his head. That could not have gone worse, he thought. Leaning down, he picked up the ultrasound photo from where his mother had dropped it. He ran his finger softly over the small form of his child.

"You're worth it," he said, "you and your mommy are all that matters now." And though he knew it was true, he still felt the sharp pain of disappointment at his mother's reaction. He hadn't expected her to be happy and he'd expected her to be disappointed, but when all was said and done he thought she would be here, supporting him, loving him. He'd spent seventeen years with his mother as she coddled, crowded and sometimes smothered him. He couldn't count the number of times he'd wished for a space of his own. But now, when he really needed the reassurance of her presence – she'd walked away.

He looked down at the bed and picked up his boarding pass. He had to be at the airport in 8 hours. He didn't have time to feel sorry for himself or to wish that things were different. He'd been given another chance to do things right for Sam and for the baby. He couldn't let anything interfere with that, not even his mother.

He finished packing, zipped his suitcase, and took it out of his room, setting it beside the front door, his boarding pass on top. He checked the door locks, turned out the lights and headed back to his room. He saw a soft light coming from beneath his mother's door and stopped in front of it. He placed a hand lightly on the door, imagining what she must be doing behind the door. He could hear soft sobs and the thought of her in there alone and crying almost broke him. His mother loved him; that was a fact he was sure of. She wanted the best for him and he couldn't blame her if being a father at seventeen wasn't on her list of things that were best for him. He understood.

"Mom" he called softly, knocking lightly on the door. He sighed when his knocks went unanswered. "You're not gonna answer me are you?" He slid down to sit beside the door. "Maybe it's better this way. I can talk and you can listen. Mom, there isn't really anything I can say that will change this situation. And to be honest, I'm not sure I'd change it if I could. I know this isn't what you hoped for me. And it's not what I expected for myself either but … but Mom, you've always taught me to do the right thing – even when it's hard or takes a sacrifice. You taught me to be the kind of man who accepts his responsibilities; who protects the people he loves. 'The right thing isn't always the easy thing', remember when you told me that? Well this is the right thing, mom. You might not understand it or see it now, but I do. I can feel it in my gut and even though it's the hardest thing I've ever done I refuse to walk away from my responsibility. Because that's not who you raised me to be." He sighed, wondering if she was listening, "I spent most of my life without Dad. Don't get me wrong, you did an amazing job raising me on your own but it was hard not having Dad here. There were so many times I just wished I could have him here with me…just for a minute. I wondered why he had to die, why I had to live my life without him. You always talk about what an amazing man he was and I wish I could have witnessed it too. I know that he would have been here if he could; he would never have made a choice to walk away from me. That's not a choice I can make either, Mom. I have a child out there who deserves to have a father – the kind of father I wish I'd had, the kind of father dad would have been if he could." The sobs behind the door had quieted but there was still no answer.

Standing to his feet he prepared to return to his room. "I leave at six in the morning. I left all the information on the table. I wish you'd come. I want you there with me. You've been there for everything my whole life. Big things, small things…always there." His voice tapered into a whisper as he fought the desire to cry. "I need you mom." He stared at her door but his words were met with silence. "Okay. I guess I'd better go to bed." Turning from the door he headed toward his room, shutting the door behind him.

The screen to his phone was blinking as a text message came in.

Carly: Did you talk to your mom?

Freddie: Yep

Carly: How did it go?

Freddie: …..

Carly: That good huh?

Freddie: She's locked in her room crying

Carly:

Freddie: Can't think about that now. You all packed?

Carly: Yep. You ready to see Sam?

Freddie: Never been more ready for anything in my life. I'm heading to bed

Carly: see you at 6…daddy

Freddie: I like the sound of that. Night

He changed his clothes and lay down on the bed, turned out the light and prayed for morning.

When his alarm went off, he woke with the distinct feeling that he'd never really gone to sleep. He reached over to turn it off and felt his stomach wrap itself in a knot as he remembered what today was.

He was going to get Sam.

He jumped from the bed, tripping on the blankets tangled around his legs and falling to the ground. Great, he's show up in Willacoochee covered in bruises…Sam would love that. He couldn't help the smile that slowly spread over his face. In less than 12 hours, he'd be looking at her face. He'd be able to hold her and kiss her, see his son growing inside of her. He could hardly contain his excitement. He felt like he'd been waiting forever for this moment, this chance.

Looking at the clock, he realized he only had thirty minutes before he had to meet Carly across the hall. Spencer was going to take them to the airport. He wasn't too excited about them making such a long trip alone, but he had a sculpture that had to be finished in two days, so coming with them wasn't an option. He'd hoped his mother would be coming with them; he hadn't realized just how much he'd wanted that until he realized it wasn't going to happen.

It was going to be a long trip. Sam's location was so remote that they'd have to fly into Jacksonville, Florida and drive the rest of the way. Ten hours on a plane and two hours in a car, driving into the middle of rural southern Georgia. Discovering how far from the airport Sam actually lived had almost ended the trip before it started. Neither he nor Carly were old enough to rent a car and it would cost a small fortune to pay a taxi to take them all the way to Willacoochee. Melanie had actually been the answer to that problem. Carly had called her after she and Freddie made plans to travel to Georgia. She'd been happy to hear that Sam and Freddie had finally come to their senses and after a few calls to her grandmother, who promised not to tell Sam of their plans – he wanted to surprise her, they'd arranged for a friend of the family in Georgia to pick them up from the airport. Her name was Sarah; Freddie recognized her name from Sam's letters. She was the single mother Sam worked for; her son was the little boy Sam was so fond of. He didn't even know her yet but was eternally grateful for her willingness to help them.

It was all set now, he thought, he was packed, showered, dressed and ready to meet Carly. He took a final glance around his room, wished himself good luck, and walked toward his front door. Stopping outside his mother's bedroom on the way out he put an ear to the door. There was no sound and he wondered if she was even awake yet. He raised his hand to knock and thought better of it; he'd said everything there was to say. It was time to go.

Grabbing his suitcase and his keys, he stepped into the hallway and froze. Standing nervously in the hallway beside a visibly uncomfortable Carly was his mother – suitcase in hand.

Their eyes met as he shut the door softly behind him.

"Mom?" he stood fixed to his spot beside the apartment door. She placed her suitcase on the floor beside Carly's and walked slowly toward him.

"I…um…I think I forgot to pack…something." Carly stuttered, opening the door to her apartment and stepping inside. "I should probably go and um…get it." She shut the door, casting a look of pity at Freddie.

"Mom…what are you doing here?"

"Freddie" she said, reaching for his hand, "This baby…it's not at all what I dreamed for you, what I wanted for your life…"

"Mom, if you're going to give me another lecture you can just save it." He said, yanking his hand from hers. "I've got a plane to catch." Reaching down to grab his suitcase, he moved to walk away.

"Freddie wait! Just let me finish." He paused, impatience and frustration coloring his face. "It isn't what I imagined for you, so when you told me…I just…I didn't know what to do. And…I reacted badly, and I'm sorry for that." Her face softened as she squeezed his hand. "You're my little boy, you're all I have in the world. When your father died I promised myself that I'd do everything in my power to protect you, keep you safe… and raise you to be the kind of man your father was. Somewhere along the line I guess I forgot that part of you being a man is learning to make your own decisions and deal with your own mistakes." She placed a hand to his face. "You've been an amazing son but last night I realized that you've grown into an amazing man. The kind of man who stands up to his responsibilities no matter what it costs him, the kind of man your father would have been proud of." She took a deep breath and smiled as tears gathered in her eyes. "I can't say that I'm not disappointed in how this all happened, but you were right last night. Your son deserves to have his father in his life. And any child that is a part of you, is a part of me; I can't walk away from this baby anymore than I could walk away from you."

He dropped his suitcase to the ground and wrapped his arms around his mother. He hadn't realized until just now how much he needed her, how much he wanted her to share this moment with him. He held her as she cried and thanked God for this small miracle. Pulling back, she wiped her eyes and patted his cheek.

"So… you ready to go get my grandson?"

"I am now" he said, smiling as he knocked on Carly's door. Carly peeked her head out, glancing at him and then his mother.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, stepping into the hall and shutting the door behind her.

Freddie looked at his mother and smiled. In a few short hours he'd be in Georgia, surrounded by the people who meant the world to him.

"Couldn't be better."


March 17, 2011 - Willacoochee, Georgia

Sam was not patient. Anyone who knew her could tell you that. She'd once gotten food poisoning because she hadn't been able to wait for the pork chops she was cooking to finish. Apparently eating half cooked pork was bad for your health. But this waiting was far worse. Her entire life was hanging in the balance and all she could do was wait.

She groaned and rolled onto her side. Not only was she impatient, she was also tired, and sore and generally tired of being pregnant. For the last week, she hadn't been able to find a comfortable position to sleep in and her son and suddenly decided that he wanted to sleep all day and then keep her up all night using her bladder like a conga drum. So she spent half the night peeing and the other half trying to get comfortable, only to have the baby start in with his kicking, sending to the bathroom again. It was a never ending cycle of misery. Either this baby hated her or it had a horrible sense of humor.

She rubbed her hand over her stomach. She was really getting big now. J'Maw Maw had taken her into Tifton to get new clothes, since the clothes she'd brought with her were of no use now. And it wasn't just her stomach, her boobs now needed their own zip code and just looking at them made them hurt. When she complained to J'Maw Maw about it, she'd just laughed and told her to wait…it only gets worse. She couldn't imagine that…didn't even want to try. I should write a book, she'd thought. She was sure that if girls her age could get a real picture of just how horrible pregnancy could be-stretch marks, projectile vomiting, leaky aching boobs and mood swings that made you feel demon-possessed-they'd super glue their knees shut.

She felt the soft thump of the baby kicking and smiled. That was the only thing that made it worth it. This tiny person who'd taken up residence inside of her. This baby that she already loved more than anything in the world. He made it worth it.

"Go easy on mommy today, will ya?" she laughed, rubbing soft circles over the side of her belly. "I'm still waiting for your daddy. I hope he got my letters. I hope…I hope you'll get to meet him soon." Another thump pressed into her hand. It was always like this. She wasn't sure if it happened for other mothers, she hadn't read anything about in her books, but every time she talked to him, it was like he was really listening to her; like he knew what she was saying. The books did say that he could hear her, and that if she talked to him he'd be born recognizing her voice. She liked the sound of that; he'd be born already knowing who his mama was.

"I think you're going to like him… your daddy I mean. He's the smartest person I ever met. Not regular smart, he's off-the-charts smart; he knows something about everything. And he's funny…sometimes. He makes me laugh…sometimes with him, sometimes at him. He's not good at sports though, so if you want to learn how to throw a football properly you're gonna have to ask mommy to teach you." She smiled at that thought, imagining herself outside throwing a football to a smaller version of Freddie. This was one of her favorite pastimes lately, imagining what her son would look like, what he'd be like. She hoped he was like Freddie. Being a bit of a delinquent had been fun, but raising one seemed less appealing.

It was a beautiful day out, one of those days that made her see why people complained about Seattle. The middle of March in Seattle was cold, rainy and miserable. But here the Georgia sun was bright in a clear blue sky, the air warm. She reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her new phone. J'Maw Maw had taken her to pick it out last month. She said that Sam needed a phone in case anything happened and since she'd left hers behind in Seattle, she was now the proud owner of a run of the mill bargain basement flip phone. It wasn't even by Pear, but a pearPhone would not do much in Willacoochie's spotty coverage in any case. Freddie would laugh for sure, if he could see it.

She dialed Sarah's number and waited for her to answer. She had the day off today and Sam thought maybe they could pack a picnic and take Jason to the park. She couldn't get enough of that little boy and if she ever decided to leave Willacoochee, he was what she would miss most, next to J'Maw Maw.

"What's up buttercup?" Sarah's voice was bright on the other end.

"I'm bored out of my mind…come get me!" she pouted. It sounded like Sarah put her hand over the phone's receiver. "Sarah?" she called, unsure of whether she'd lost connection. Damn cheap phone.

"I'm here. But I'm um…busy now so I can't come get you."

"Busy doing what?"

"Oh…you know…this and that…" Sarah laughed nervously. Something was up. Sarah was almost as bad a liar as Carly…and that was saying something.

"Sarah, what's going on?"

"Nothing!" she said, her voice moving up an octave. "Hold on Sam." She heard whispering in the background and grew impatient as Sarah left her on hold. "Okay…I'm back. Listen Sam, I really have to go."

"Wait a minute! It's nice out…let's take Jason to the…."

She heard giggling in the background and an exaggerated 'shhh', "Sam, honey I really gotta go. I'll stop by later."

She hung up before Sam could say another word. She closed her phone and put it back on the nightstand. Sarah was the first and last name on her friend list. Without her around, there really wasn't anyone else to call.

"Well, little one" she said, stretching as she stood, "looks like it's just you and me today. So what do you want to do?" her stomach grumbled in answer. "Food. My thoughts exactly!" She started down the stairs and into the kitchen, calling out for her grandmother. When she received no response she went to the front door, opening it to look out into the driveway.

No, J'Maw Maw. No Sarah and no idea what to do with a whole day to herself. She supposed she could do some schoolwork; yet another requirement for residence at the 'J'Maw Maw Home for Unwed Mothers'. She'd stated going to an online high school a few weeks after arriving. School had never been her strong suit. It wasn't that she lacked intelligence, but she definitely lacked motivation. She didn't come from a home where doing well in school was a requirement. Melanie's academic success was like some sort of fluke. And while Carly and Freddie tried to help her, they generally just accepted her underachieving traits as another part of her personality, and didn't force the issue. But since coming to Georgia and knowing that soon she'd have a baby to take care of, she'd found the motivation she needed to get her butt in gear and she was pleasantly surprised to see she was not only capable of doing well in school but she found that it gave her a deep sense of pride. Principal Franklin would be proud if he could see her now; well if he could see her and not her pregnant belly.

Pulling out her laptop, she sat at her desk and waited as the website for Keystone Academy loaded. While she waited, she opened another window in her browser. She hadn't checked her email since she left Seattle; she knew it was a sure way for Freddie to find her. She figured there was no point in avoiding it now…he knew where she was, even if she had no idea exactly what he'd done with the information. During her time in Georgia she'd tried to avoid the internet all together. It was just too tempting to visit the iCarly site and in the beginning, her longing for Carly and Freddie had just been too strong to risk seeing their faces. If she did she knew she'd fold. Melanie had told her iCarly was on indefinite hiatus. Freddie had confirmed it and it gave her a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach to know that she was the reason for something so amazing coming to an end. iCarly was at the center of some of her very best memories. But, if she were honest, at least a small part of her was glad that it wasn't going on without her; that would have hurt even more.

She looked over at the clock: 4:30. Freddie had received her package over 24 hours ago. She wondered what he'd thought. Wondered if it was too little too late. She'd checked the mail this afternoon on instinct, even though she knew there'd be no video waiting for her. Every time the phone rang she hurried to answer it, even though the chances that it would be him were slim. In short she'd spent the last 24 hours waiting for something – anything – to happen. And so far she'd been met with disappointment.

She couldn't concentrate. The day was beautiful, she was bored and her mind was playing memories of Freddie on a constant loop. She closed her laptop and walked over to the bed. Laying down she turned to reach into the top drawer of her nightstand. She'd finally taken Freddie's picture out of her duffle bag and put it here, concealed enough to avoid constant reminders of his absence but close enough that, at times like this, she could allow herself the briefest of moments to look at his face.

"I hope you look like him" she said. "He's a nub, but he's a cute nub." She rolled onto her side, holding the picture to her. "And I miss him."

With the picture to her chest, she drifted into sleep, surrounded by memories of her past and hope for her future.


March 17, 2012 - Jacksonville Airport

Freddie was tired. He didn't think he'd ever been this tired. But underneath the surface of his exhaustion nervous energy tingled, coursing through his body like electric current. He'd just endured what felt like the longest plane ride of his life (even though the logical part of his brain told him the flight to Japan had to have been longer), during which he'd had to tell his mother the entire story about Sam. It had been hard. He couldn't explain Sam leaving without admitting what he'd said, how he'd reacted. He'd seen the disappointment in her face but she said she understood, after all, she'd taken it pretty badly herself. Immediate irrational responses seemed to be hereditary.

He'd told her all the facts and when that was done he'd told her how he felt, how scared he was, how he had no idea what he was doing. She'd patted his hand and tried to reassure him; told him that this baby was a Benson, and Bensons stuck together. She said that once they saw Sam, they'd sit down and figure it all out. He had to admit he was more than a little nervous to get his mom and Sam in the same room, especially considering the present circumstances. He hadn't even seen Sam since she left and now he was showing up with his mother in tow. He hoped she understood; this wasn't something he felt prepared to do alone and Carly had missed Sam so much that once she saw her, he wouldn't be able to count on her being much of a support to him.

They'd arrived at the airport exactly on schedule and met Melanie at baggage claim as planned. When Carly told her that they'd be coming to Georgia, her exact words had been 'that is one reunion that there is no way I'm missing'. Her grandmother had bought her a ticket and it all made Freddie wonder how Sam was going to take it when she found out that they'd both been in on this. He hoped that she was happy enough not to care about being left in the dark.

Seeing Melanie standing beside baggage claim had been jarring to say the least. She'd worn her hair down and loose, like Sam used to, and if it hadn't been for the fact that she was dressed in pink from head to toe, he'd have wondered if it really was Sam he was seeing. She'd run up to hug Carly, both of them squealing, jumping up and down. Carly seemed unfazed by the resemblance – she'd known them both long enough to be used to it, he supposed. But for Freddie, seeing Melanie only increased the nervous energy that had been building in the pit of his stomach since they'd left Seattle. He had to shake his head to chase away the irrational irritation that cropped up. He wanted the original Sam, not her duplicate. He was ready to see her.

He hugged Melanie, introduced her to his mother – who was uncharacteristically quiet, grabbed their bags off the carousel and tried not to snap at Melanie and Carly as the speed with which they were talking seemed to slow their steps. Prodding them as gently as he could, he finally managed to get the outside the terminal where they were supposed to meet Sam's friend Sarah.

Looking around he tried to remember what Melanie had said she looked like, but his mind was filled with Sam to a point that picturing anyone else was nearly impossible. He sat his bags down on the ground and looked to Melanie who was now frantically waving at an approaching blond with a wide smile.

"There she is…" Melanie walked toward her and hugged her when they met. As far as Freddie knew, Melanie had never met Sarah, but that was just part of who Melanie was; she'd never met a person she couldn't make her friend.

"Hey, I'm Sarah." She reached out to shake Freddie's hand. "You must be Freddie," she gave him a knowing smile that made him wonder exactly what she'd heard about him, "And you are Carly…I'd recognize you anywhere. I've watched some episodes of iCarly since Sam's been here." She seemed to notice Freddie's mom then and a look of confusion crossed her face as she glanced at Melanie, "And you are?" she asked, extending her hand.

"This is my mom, Marissa Benson." He made the introductions and again found himself irritated. Every moment they stood around playing 'Nice to Make your Acquaintance' was another moment he wasn't with Sam. "So, is that your car over there?" he asked, hoping he was getting his point across without being too rude.

"Oh, yeah…I guess you're probably ready to get this show on the road, huh?" she winked at Freddie and turned to lead them all to her car. He sighed and shook his head. Ten hours flying across the country and now he, his mom, Carly, Melanie and Sarah were apparently going to spend the next two hours in a Honda Civic. Family togetherness…great.

They piled their bags in the trunk and then went about the business of squeezing five people in a car that was better suited for four. His mom sat in the front with Sarah and he, Carly and Melanie folded themselves into the backseat. Sarah looked over her shoulder as she pulled out into traffic.

"Sorry for the cramped quarters. I wasn't expecting such a big group and the only other car we have is a pickup truck."

Freddie smiled at her and tried to reassure her that it was fine. He'd have gladly ridden in the back of a trailer carrying horse manure, if it took him to Sam. The women chatted easily around him and thankfully left him out of the conversation. He wouldn't have had much to add. Right now, his thoughts were turned to Sam. He looked out the window and thought about what he'd say when he saw her. Every time he saw her face in his head and thought of what it was going to feel like to hold her again, feel the tickle of her hair against his face, the warmth of her body pulled close to his, his throat closed up and he began to wonder seriously if he'd even be capable of words.

He laid his head against the cool glass of the window and as his exhaustion finally overtook him, he allowed himself to be lulled to sleep.


J'Maw Maw sat on her porch, cleaning the catfish that the Perkins boy down the road had brought her. That was the nice thing about living in small towns-people looked out for each other. It was getting close to dinner time. Usually Sam helped her; it was when they had their best conversations, but today when she'd come home she'd found Sam curled up on her bed, holding the picture of the boy. She had one arm wrapped around her abdomen and the other holding the picture frame, a small smile on her lips. Lord, but it did her heart good to see that girl smile. Sam had dealt with more sorrow and trouble in her young life than she should have; all she wanted now was to see her granddaughter happy.

When Sam had arrived four months ago, scared, angry, and with a chip the size of Texas on her shoulder, she'd been worried. Being a mother required a level of sacrifice and responsibility that she wasn't sure Sam had at the time. But over the last four months she'd watched Sam growing and maturing in ways that made her heart swell with pride. The girl asleep in that bed upstairs was not the same girl who'd arrived on her doorstep in November. While she'd always loved her granddaughter, now she couldn't imagine what life would be like without her here. But Sam not being here was a reality she was going to have to deal with soon enough.

She smiled to herself. Young people were so funny; they never understood how important and valuable time was. When you got old like her it was easier to see how short life was; to understand what was really important and for her money there wasn't anything more important that having a life filled with the people that you loved. It looked like Sam's young man wasn't your run of the mill teenager, or you run of the mill man for that matter. She'd watched with sadness as Sam and Melanie's father abandoned them; leaving behind his family and his responsibility. It was, unfortunately, not an irregular occurrence. Men did that every day of the week. So when Melanie had called her to say that Freddie was on his way to Georgia, she couldn't help but develop a bit of respect for the boy. While Sam's father had fled across the country in his determination to leave her behind, causing the scars that plagued her even now, this boy was coming across the country to get her back, and J'Maw Maw could only hope that being the object of a love like that would begin to heal the hurt Sam had carried most of her life.

She peered out at the road, shading her eyes as a familiar black Honda Civic approached. For a moment she considered going up to wake Sammy but thought better of it. She'd like a chance to speak with the young man herself before he saw Sam, if she could. She truly hoped that this went well. She knew that Sam loved this boy and had an instinct in her gut that this boy loved Sammy too. But the things they were going to have to deal with in the future were enough to put a strain on any couple, let alone a couple comprised of two teenagers. But there would be enough time later for worrying about that. Right now she only wanted to see Sammy happy, back in the arms she'd been missing for four months – even if she'd only recently admitted it.

She stood and walked to the top of the porch steps as the car pulled into the driveway. 'Here it is' she thought, 'The moment of truth'.


He was staring into her face, her blue eyes dancing with laughter. Her hair blew around her as her lips said the words he'd craved for over four months.

"Freddie…I love you. Freddie…" he reached out to touch her but as he did she began to fade. His heart raced, he couldn't let her go. He needed her with him. She turned and was running from him, smiling at him over her shoulder, her lips forming words he couldn't hear.

"Wait! Don't go!" he cried.

"Freddie…Freddie!" He felt his shoulders shaking and jerked upright, temporarily disoriented. The eyes looking into his weren't blue, they were brown, and filled with concern. "Freddie!" He blinked and tried to right himself, wiping a hand over his face. It was a dream, just a dream. Slowly his mind began to register where he was and his heart began to race again. He looked past Carly, who had leaned over him, shaking him awake, and out the front window of the car. They were sitting in front of a large farmhouse with a wide porch.

Sam.

His breath sudden came in loud, ragged gasps. He couldn't breathe. His hands shook and he realized that all eyes in the car were on him.

"Freddie-bear…are you okay?" His mother had turned in her seat and was now trying to force his head between his knees while Carly pulled forcefully on his arm. He heard her calling his name from what felt like far away.

"Freddie! Breathe…"

He complied, lowering his head as he tried to calm himself. He'd expected nerves, even some anxiety, but the thought that inside that house was the woman he loved, the mother of his child, sent him into an emotional whirlwind he was not prepared to handle. She was inside. Waiting for him.

"Is he going to be okay?" He thought that was Sarah's voice but dared not raise his head for fear of passing out and missing his reunion with Sam all together.

"He'll be fine, I think he's just nervous." That was definitely Carly. He felt her hand cool on the heated skin of his neck. "Just give him a minute. Melanie…why don't you go inside and… just give us a minute." Carly, the eternal problem solver, had come to his rescue again. He heard a car door open and risked raising his head. Melanie and Sarah had left the car and now his mother and Carly stared at him, their eyes full of sympathy and concern.

"I'm sorry you guys. I don't know what happened. I just…"

"You're just nervous, honey. It's perfectly normal." His mother turned to look out the window. On the front porch of the house stood an older woman who could only be Sam's grandmother. She stood beside Sarah, who was gesturing toward the car. Probably telling her about the wimpy father of her great grandchild who was too chicken to get out of the car. He lowered his head again, this time in shame. This was not how it was supposed to go. His mother looked back at him and took a deep breath before grabbing her purse. "You stay here. I'm going to go talk to Sam's grandmother." She reached around the seat to put a hand firmly on his shoulder. "Freddie you listen to me. You can do this. You are a strong, intelligent amazing man. Now you take a minute to get yourself together and then you get your heiney out of this car and do what you came here to do. It's time." She gave his shoulder a final squeeze and exited the car, leaving him alone in the silence with Carly.

"Are you ready for this?" she said.

"Are you?" he asked.

She sighed and leaned back into the seat beside him. "I've been missing her for so long. It feels like forever since I've seen her, and I've dreamed a million times of what it would be like to see her. But now that we're here I guess I'm a little nervous. What if it's different? What if she's different?"

He turned to her and his words gave him strength. "We're all different Carly. This baby, it's changed all of us. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Life may not look like it used to, but that doesn't mean it won't be amazing."

"Well…oh wise one. You sound ready." She smiled at him.

"You know what?" he took a deep breath and reached over to open the car door. "I am."


"Sam. Sam…Sam, wake up."

She heard the voice from somewhere far away, the fringes of her dreams still clouding her mind. She felt someone shaking her softly and opened her eyes slowly. Any remnants of sleep fled and she was immediately alert as she studied the face above her.

'Melanie!" she cried, scrambling to sit up on the bed.

Melanie's eyes were misty as she sat on the bed beside Sam, leaning over to wrap her in a hug. She hadn't realized how seeing Sam would affect her. They'd never been close, but since Sam moved to Georgia, they had spent a lot of time talking. At first it was just regular 'like I'm talking to a stranger' conversation, but over time they'd started to talk about the things the mattered: what it had been like growing up with Pam, Dad leaving, how Sam had felt when Melanie left for boarding school, and how Melanie had felt knowing how much closer Sam was to Carly than to her. Some of the conversations had been difficult. Some of the feelings shared were painful to hear. Melanie suspected that, in the beginning, Sam had only talked to her because she had no one else, but it didn't matter why it had started. The end result was that she had her sister back, closer than they'd ever been.

Melanie felt wetness on her shoulder and pulled back in shock.

"Sam? Are you crying?"

Sam laughed through her tears, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"It's the hormones! If I'm not eating or peeing then I'm crying. This baby is turning me into a sap!" she laid a hand on her belly and rubbed light circles. She smiled down at her stomach and Melanie was struck by how different she was, softer somehow. Melanie reached out her hand and placed it lightly on Sam's belly.

"I can't believe it," Melanie said quietly.

"Yeah, I know…I'm huge."

"Oh, Sam… stop it! You aren't huge, you're…." her words stopped in her throat as a gentle push met her hand. "Oh my God!" Her eyes were wide and she moved her hand around, trying to feel it again.

Sam laughed, moving Melanie's hand to the spot he was always kicking. "Well, Aunt Melanie, I think your nephew is saying hello."

Before Melanie could respond, J'Maw Maw's voiced called to them from the bottom of the stairs.

"Melanie! Did you tell her?"

"Tell me what?" Sam asked.

"Not yet!" Melanie replied.

"Tell me what?" Sam's voice grew more insistent.

"Well, hurry up! I'm an old woman and I'd like this to happen sometime before I die!"

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?"

Melanie reached across the bed and held Sam's hand in hers.

"I brought a present for the baby."