I'm so freakin tired. This is crap.
I'm just having problems with my story.
Roxas and Demyx have the best stories.
Sora is kinda cool too.
But the other characters draw a blank for me now.
I'm too tired. Watchin Time Machine.
Disclaimer: Blah blah ya you know.
Chapter 11
A little shading around the arms.
Little more white on the skull.
Oh I like the streaks in the background, I should put more.
"Hey Namine its dinner time, don't you want to come eat?" said Aerith leaning down to talk to me.
I shook my head. My stomach clenched up at the thought of food.
"You really need to eat. You stopped gaining weight," said Aerith with concern clouding her face.
I just looked back down and studied my picture of a skeleton. I really hoped she would get the hint to go away. I don't enjoy people sitting that close to me, looking at me. She was trying to see how thin I looked. I don't want her to know I have been cheating when she weighs me.
I would eat a bunch before she weighed me and then go to my room and do my workout routine to get rid of the calories. Then drink a ton of water to cleanse my system. If I still felt big sometimes I would go to bathroom and make myself vomit.
I don't want to gain weight.
I like being skinny.
I like looking in the mirror and seeing my ribs. I like feeling my hipbones jutting out. I didn't really mind that my vision blacked out when I got up. It was actually kind of cool.
"Namine, I know you're not eating right. Please, I don't want to see you get sick," pleaded Aerith.
I made the mistake of looking back up at Aerith. She looked so concerned for me, like she really cared. I feel ashamed for lying to her.
I closed my sketchbook and nodded getting up to follow her to the cafeteria.
I started picking at my nails on the long walk there. I don't like crowded places. And the fact it is a room filled with food doesn't make me feel any better.
They were having sloppy joes for dinner. I felt like puking right on the spot thinking about the disgusting meat sticking to my thighs.
Aerith walked me through the food line making sure I actually got food. I put a salad, a sloppy joe, and some macaroni and cheese on my plate. I got a bottle of water too.
Aerith gave me an approving look and walked away to patrol the rest of the cafeteria.
I look around for a place to sit, panic rising in my chest.
I didn't want to be the loser that sits alone. But I don't really want to just walk up and sit down randomly.
I would have to have a death wish to sit at Larxene's table.
Alice always sat alone. But she was totally insane. I didn't want to go near her.
I was about to just give up and sit alone when Sora yelled over at me, "Hey Namine, come sit over here!"
I walked quickly over to him avoiding eye contact with anyone sitting at table around me. I was paranoid if I looked up someone would be staring straight at me.
I sat down at the table with Sora, Riku, Demyx, Zexion, and Axel.
"Glad to see you out of the art room," said Sora cheerily.
I just smiled back at him and took a sip of my water.
They all knew I didn't talk, so they didn't try to ask me anything and mostly left me alone. I just sat and listened to the conversation.
"So why was that guy Zack running around looking for you earlier, Demyx?" asked Riku looking expectantly over at Demyx.
Demyx had been sitting quietly staring at the table completely zoned out. His face looked pale and lifeless.
"Ansem wanted to talk to me," he replied without looking up from the table.
"About what?" asked Zexion distracted from eating.
"The usual doctor stuff," he said completely monotone still focused on the table.
Demyx was usually really loud and goofy. I heard he had multiple personalities. So I wonder if maybe this was another Demyx or if he was just depressed today.
"You look like you need to sleep dude," added Axel.
"I'm fine." Demyx said still monotone and very focused on the table.
"Ugh gross! I can't eat this! Sloppy joes are so nasty. It looks like puke between bread!" said Sora in disgust when he picked up his sandwich and the meat slipped out back onto his tray.
"Thanks for the mental picture," said Axel setting his sloppy joe back down.
I took a small bite out of my salad. I don't really want to even try to eat the other food. I need to find a way to get rid of it, because Aerith usually checks my tray before I put it up.
I really just want to go back into the art room and draw. Being around people makes me nervous.
The rest of the table all lost there appetite after a few more disgusting comments. They got up and went to take their trays up to be washed.
I followed after them slowly thinking of a quick way to get rid of the barely touched food on my tray.
There's an open window near me. So I scoot over and dump the rest of the nasty food off my tray. I proudly walk up to the line. Aerith give me a smile seeing my empty tray.
I feel guilty tricking her. But she shouldn't be butting into my life. I can control my life without any help.
"Hey Namine want to come hang out in the lounge with us?" Sora asks me.
I shake my head no and turn to walk to the art room.
I turned too quickly. My vision blackened to wear I couldn't see. I felt off balance. I tried to blink away the darkness but it wouldn't go away. I felt even dizzier. I stopped walking afraid I might fall down.
"Are you okay?" Sora's voice sounded like it was coming from underwater.
I tried to lift my hand up to my face to rub at my eyes but my arm felt heavy and weak.
My legs felt weak and I stumbled back. This isn't a fun blackout. It won't go away.
Someone grabbed onto my arm. I couldn't see who. My vision wouldn't come back despite my rapid blinking.
"What's wrong, Namine?" I could hear Riku's voice, but it sounded far away.
I tried to pull my arm away but I just set myself off balance and fell back my eyes fluttering closed.
"Namine! Wake up!"
I slowly opened my eyes.
I felt really cold but sweaty. I was lying on the tiled floor of the cafeteria. Aerith and some of my lunch table group were staring down at me.
I suddenly felt very self conscious. I don't like so much attention being directed at me.
"How old are you?" Aerith asked me.
I signed fifteen with my hands.
She put a hand on my wrist and looked at her watch counting my pulse.
I really just wanted to curl up in my bed and sleep. My stomach is cramping up. I feel weak and sleepy.
Without realizing it I closed my eyes.
"You need to stay awake honey," said Aerith urgently shaking my shoulder.
She pulled out her beeper thingy and pressed a few buttons.
I started to drift back off to sleep. I am so tired.
I opened my eyes again when I felt myself being lifted up.
Zack and another big nurse were putting me onto a gurney.
They seemed to be talking to me, or maybe asking me questions. But my ears were oddly muffled.
I can't think straight. All the white walls were rushing past me. I noticed I was breathing in gasps.
Zack put a hand on my forehead. It felt warm and nice.
I closed my eyes again and relief washed over me as I fell into the deepest sleep of my life.
Mmm. I went through a bad constriction of food phase.
I fainted a few times.
It's probaly the dumbest thing Ive done next to jumping in my neighbors pool in my underwear during a thunderstorm.
But I'm not sure if its written right.
I'm too tired man.
Review! Or shamoo shall slam your body till your as flat as a pancake! And you get served up with bacon at IHOP!!!
