Chapter 11 – Magnet and Steel
January 7, 1978
"Ste-ven. Are you still mad at me?" Hyde was ahead of her, by about three feet, as he moved briskly into the Forman living room.
"Yes!"
"Oh, baby." Jackie tried to pout but couldn't restrain her giggle as she dropped her coat onto Red's tacky green chair. "I swear I didn't know they were going to take such a liking to you."
Plopping down on the couch, Hyde maintained his scowl and crossed his arms over his chest, moving only to grab the remote before returning to his angry position. "There were ten other flippers there, Jackie."
"I know," she said soothingly, sitting down beside him. "But none of the other boys were as cute as you."
"They were all twelve!"
"Oh, my poor Steven…" she purred, leaning in and taking a nip at his ear. "Let me make it up to you, Puddin' Pop."
"No." Hyde bucked his shoulder and moved his head. "I don't want to. I'm tired. If I'd have known I had to wake up at five in the damn morning for that crap, I would have never agreed to it."
"But I asked so nicely," Jackie reminded him with a soft kiss for his neck.
"Well then just go back to being a bossy pain in the ass, and I'll go back to being pissed off about it."
"No, Steven. Now, be nice. I'm trying to tell you that I really do appreciate it," she hinted again, laying several kisses under his jaw and dragging her hand over the bulge in his jeans. "You were so cute with your little spatula and your mean, angry face."
"Quit it. Come on," Hyde said, sincere as he looked at her. "I'm really, really beat, Jackie. I was up 'til two o'clock last night."
"Oh, c'mere." Taking pity on him, Jackie eased his head onto her shoulder, feeling the weight of his body as it sunk down against hers. A smile graced her lips at the thought of her usually dirty-minded boyfriend actually choosing to cuddle over a roll in his Spiderman sheets. But he was tired and worn from the demanding Girl Scout Alumni pancake breakfast, and as much as he had complained privately, he did nothing at all to embarrass her. And she loved him that much more for it. "Thank you for going with me, Steven," she said, tousling his hair gently.
"You can thank me when I wake up," Hyde mumbled softly, making Jackie look down to find that his eyes were already closed. And then, as if to signal his descent into sleep, he tightened his hold around her waist only to relax it again, not saying another word for the next two hours as Jackie watched 'Poseidon Adventure' and snuggled up with the grumpiest, sweetest pancake flipper in all of Wisconsin…
November 5, 1984 – 7:36 PM
Kenosha Medical Center
Still curled in Hyde's lap, Jackie sighed softly, content to bask in the warm, cozy feelings that his sleeping body evoked. There was the tiniest tingle, a chill, that stung the corners of her jaw and she had to smile in response as she nuzzled her nose into his hair. It smelled clean and sweet, like his shampoo. Inquisitively moving down to his temple, Jackie immersed herself in the fresh, soapy scent of his skin and grinned blissfully with each breath she took. God help her, the temptation to taste him was excruciating but Jackie resisted and instead tucked his head beneath her chin, holding him tightly to her shoulder.
From her skewed vantage point, Jackie studied his every feature, starting with his eyelashes, down to the tip of his nose and then to his lips. She wondered how after all those volatile years apart, through all of the hate and pain, they still wound up huddled together in a tiny chair, hanging on to each other as if not a single minute had passed. It was a crazy world, and an amazing one, all at the same time.
Oddly enough, it made Jackie feel like a gallant war veteran, having dragged her battle buddy through mud and gunfire for nearly five years, stumbling and falling time after time as he seemed to sabotage her every move. And now, here they were, lying on the edge of a quiet river, resting in each other's arms, battle worn and too tired to continue the fight, ready to go home.
Jackie kissed Hyde's forehead, and he shifted in the seat, pressing his body even closer to hers and nuzzling his face deeper into the crevice of her neck. "Hey, Jess," he rasped quietly, tickling her neck with his breath.
"It's Jackie," she corrected flatly, feeling like the biggest fool on the planet. But it became apparent that he was barely awake when he raised his head from her shoulder and squinted at her blearily.
A moment passed, and he gave her a drowsy smile. "Hey."
"Hey," she whispered, feeling disappointed by his mistake but not angry.
"How's Leo doin'?"
"The same."
Nodding, Hyde squeezed her lightly and then relaxed his arms again. "How long was I out?"
"About an hour," she answered, wanting to laugh at the confused expression that plagued his face. "Steven, what's wrong?"
"Well..." He absentmindedly rubbed his index and middle finger over his bottom lip and then looked at her sincerely. "Was Kelso just in here with a dog, wearing matching pajamas?"
With a furrowed brow, Jackie shook her head.
"Oh. Good."
Emergency Room/Triage Nurse's Station
"I don't care, Missy! If you don't want me calling your mother, who I happen to work with by the way, then you'd better try! And she told me about you, Miss Snarky Mouth. I mean, really! Refusing to bring a pie to Thanksgiving dinner last year! What kind of a daughter are you?"
Frantically, Eric shook his head. "Mom, I don't think…"
"Zip it, dumb ass," Red warned his son.
Kitty continued. "You just better tell me where my baby is, right now! Before I tell her what I saw you doing behind the ambulance bay last week!"
In the face of the older woman's frenzied threats, the young RN running the triage station maintained her composure. "Nurse Forman. I've already told you. There is no record of a Steven Hyde coming in today."
Growing more and more anxious by the minute, the mother of two began to search behind the nurse's head. "I know he's here… my precious boy! Where is he?"
"Mrs. Forman," Donna interrupted. "Maybe you heard the policeman wrong. You know, sometimes when you've been drinking…"
Kitty turned her glare on her daughter-in-law-to-be. "What did you say?"
"Oh, Donna," Eric groaned, shaking his head. "No."
Donna suddenly became nervous. "I'm sorry, I just thought…"
"Just keep your head down, if you know what's good for you," Red interjected in a low voice. "She'll lose interest eventually." Cautiously, Donna and Eric followed Red's lead and lowered their gazes to the floor, feeling the burn of Kitty's tight-lipped death scowl as they stood motionless.
Donna turned her head just slightly toward her fiancé. "Is she still looking?"
"Uh-huh."
As her husband of thirty-four years had predicted, Kitty eventually lost interest and returned her attention to the young nurse in white. "I am losing my patience here, little Miss… Miss… Janitor-fondler!"
The nurse gasped. "Nurse Forman! I don't know what to tell you! He's not here!"
Growing hysterical, Kitty began to point sternly on the counter, shaking with each syllable that exploded off her tongue. "Well, all I know is that my Steven's store collapsed, and the police said he was brought into this hospital this morning and you better find him right now before I reach across this counter and rip your little…"
"Oh, no, no. His name wasn't Steven," a young blonde L.P.N. interrupted. "That was his son."
Eric stepped up. "Wait. Whose son?"
"Um… the older guy who they brought in after the shopping center collapse. He has a son… curly hair… sideburns."
The small woman started to hop and clap excitedly. "Yes! Yes! That's my Steven!"
The blonde nurse continued. "Leo! That was his name. Yeah, he got sent up to ICU earlier in the day."
"Oh, my God." Following Kitty, the rest of the Forman family, even Red, took off quickly for the elevators and headed straight up to ICU.
New York City, NY
The Crowne Plaza
Two Hours Earlier
"You comin'?"
Colin looked up. "Yeah. Hang on." The phone continued to ring over and over again in his ear. He'd been calling Jackie all day—at home, at work—and all Kevin could tell him was that she was on assignment, and he had no idea when she would be back.
"Dude! The game starts in eighteen minutes!"
Colin ignored his friend.
"Come on, baby. Pick up the phone," he mumbled to himself before finally hanging up, giving up on ring number fourteen. "Shit." Something told him not to go. Something told him to stay in the room and keep trying to call her, to make it all up to her. Jackie was more important than a game, or his job, or his idiot friends, although he wasn't sure that agreeing to New York again, going out every night since, and then choosing the Knicks over her was exactly sending that message.
"She's not there. Let's go."
Colin shook his head; sick of everybody pulling him in a thousand different directions while the only one who mattered sat a thousand miles away, thinking he'd rather attend a basketball game than talk to her. Colin scooted back on the bed and grabbed the remote, flipping the TV on as his friend, Adam, stared at him in disbelief. "What are you doing?"
"Go without me. I'm going to stay here."
"What? Whatever, man. Fine." Grumbling, his friend walked out into the hall with others who were waiting. "Leave him. We'll sell his ticket in the parking lot..."
They took off, leaving Colin on the bed where he would watch the Knicks game on TV, order room service, try to call his girlfriend six more times, and eventually fall asleep in his clothes...
Kenosha, WI
ICU
"You think he'll wake up?" Hyde asked Jackie as he stared at the bruised and bandaged hippy.
"Of course," Jackie replied from his lap, studying Leo's sleeping figure, too.
"Hey, I wonder if he even knows what's going on."
"Steven, he never knows what's going on, even when he's conscious."
Arching a single brow, Hyde nodded. She had a point. Leo's comatose mind was probably in a hash bar in Amsterdam, enjoying a never-ending circle.
Just then, Jackie did something he wasn't expecting. The moment he flipped his eyes back up at hers, she slipped her fingers into his hair and began to rub and scratch at the back of his head. It felt fantastic, and his eyelids nearly drifted shut until he caught himself. She was drawing him closer as she massaged, and he found himself not wanting to stop her.
Pulling away, Hyde focused on the ground and swallowed down the lump in his throat. "Jackie, what are you doing?"
"What? I'm just…" With her finger, Jackie lifted Hyde's chin until their eyes met once again. "Steven, look at me. I'm just trying to make you feel better, that's all," she said worriedly. "You used to like when I did that."
Hyde nodded. Yeah, he used to like when she did a lot of things back then. Although, he suspected that she was forgetting what it used to lead to, especially when she spread her fingers back through his hair again and whispered to him. "See, Steven? Doesn't that feel good?"
"Uh-huh," Hyde let out drowsily as her fingers lulled him into a lustful stupor and drew his head closer. Slowly, after lingering a moment to decide, Hyde found her lips and kissed them softly, closing his eyes as he sought out her warm, saccharine tongue. Just one more, he thought to himself, unaware that she was thinking the exact same thought. Just one… more… little... kiss…
A sharp gasp startled them. "STEVEN AND JACKIE!"
They parted and looked over. "Mrs. Forman," Hyde blurted out. "We… um…"
Climbing off of Hyde's lap and quickly moving over to the other chair, Jackie tried to rescue Hyde's stammering mess of an excuse, pointing to her own eye. "He had… a thing."
All Hyde could do was nod frantically and point at his ex. "That's it! She… That's… What she said. A thing."
He grinned charmingly but Kitty only continued to frown, not buying it.
"A thing?"
"Yeah…" Jackie continued. "A thing in his…his, uh..."
"Mouth?" The older woman asked.
"No… No. In his…uh, what's that called? Oh! His eye!"
Thinking quickly, Hyde closed one eye. "Right there," he said, pointing. "Big thing."
"Uh-huh," Kitty urged them to continue, folding her arms.
"Yeah, and I was leaned over," Jackie continued, "trying to get it out for him and… I fell."
"Into his mouth?" Kitty asked again, not in any way convinced that the young ex-couple were doing anything other than making out, rather cozily, too, she thought.
Defeated, Hyde sighed. "Please don't say anything, Mrs. Forman."
"Well, where is your girlfriend, Steven? And your boyfriend, Missy?"
"In Minneapolis."
"In New York."
Both their heads were down like two guilty kids being scolded by mom. Hyde could feel his chest constrict. This was bad. Really bad. He honestly didn't want to lose his current girlfriend but for some reason he couldn't seem to keep his mouth off his old one. "I'm not going to say anything," Kitty assured them. "But you two need to think about what you're doing to those two lovely people who adore you both."
Jackie started to tear-up. It was the first time since arriving at the hospital that she thought of Colin. And she could only imagine how terrible she would feel if the situation were reversed, because although she was pretty used to being cheated on, it still never failed to hurt. But so far, he hadn't been unfaithful, and he swore he never would be. The strange part was: she believed him.
"Thank you, Mrs. Forman," Jackie muttered as Kitty set down her purse and picked up Leo's medical chart.
"Sweetie, don't be upset. Mistakes happen, but you learn from them. That's life."
Hearing a sniffle, Hyde looked over and felt it. More guilt. Damn it. "Hey. Jackie."
"Mom, where'd you go? We couldn't find you," Eric asked, walking in with Donna and Red, immediately noticing Jackie and Hyde sitting across the room. "Hey, man. What happened?"
"Jackie, what are you doing here?" Donna asked, walking over and quickly moving her focus to Hyde. "How'd she find out before we did? And what happened to Leo? Is he going to be alright?"
The guilty pair managed to answer the thousand questions that bombarded them for the next ten minutes, minus the details of how they "ran into" each other, claiming that they saw each other at a gas station in Milwaukee. It sounded plausible and concise and sure to spare them another inquisition. All the while, Mrs. Forman kept to her word. She didn't tell. Although the strange looks from Red, Donna and Eric told them both that things weren't as simple as they wanted them to be.
Kitty peeked at her watch. It was eight o'clock: the end of visiting hours. "You know Steven, if you had just told them he was family, we could have stayed longer, past visiting hours. In ICU, visiting hours are all day."
"I know. I figured that out after." As he said it, Hyde noticed Jackie look at him out of the corner of his eye. Wanting to look, but knowing he shouldn't, he kept his eyes down. They had avoided eye contact since the others arrived. But even without looking, Hyde knew the face she was wearing. It was her sympathetic one. The one where her chin quivered slightly and her bottom lip pouted. It was an expression that once made him uncomfortable, but now, he found it familiar and therefore comforting. Unfortunately, he had to ignore it.
"Well, come on," Kitty said. "It's time to go. I left all of our phone numbers with the charge nurse. She's a friend of mine. She'll call us if there's any change." Kitty noticed Hyde's expression. "Oh, Steven. He'll be fine." She grabbed his hands gently. "This is the best hospital in the area… Oh, does Leo have family left? His nurse was asking."
"Um, he's got two cousins, Theo and Larry, and he had a wife and son. But I don't know where any of them are now." The reason for her question finally struck Hyde. They were his next of kin. And he suddenly felt that same shaking in his chest, that burning sensation in his eyes that only stopped when Jackie hugged and kissed him earlier in the day. Suddenly, he felt his adoptive mother wind her arms around his neck in a loving hug and felt it once again go away.
"You're a good boy, Steven," Kitty whispered as she stood on her tip-toes, kissed his cheek and squeezed him with every ounce of love her little body contained before letting go and wiping her eyes. "Chop, chop. We need to go… Do you want us to take Jackie home?"
"No, I'll do it." Ignoring the raised eyebrows and confused stares of his friends, Hyde grabbed Jackie's hand, said goodbye and left. He wasn't in the mood for any crap tonight, and everyone seemed to know it, keeping quiet as the two left ahead of the group.
"Do you think they know?" Jackie asked him quietly.
"Yep."
Channel 4 News Station Parking Lot
The El Camino
"Hey, Steven?" Jackie asked. They'd been sitting quietly for a while.
"Yeah?"
"You're probably going to think I'm crazy but… do you want to go with me to the Illinois State Science and Technology Exposition tomorrow?"
With a confused scowl, Hyde turned his head and stared into Jackie's nervous, expectant eyes. Glancing down, he saw that her hands were wringing furiously—she was serious.
"Wait. Where?"
"To the Science and Technology Expo in Chicago. I have to go for work." Hyde's eyebrows furrowed deeper; he was even more confused, so Jackie twisted sideways to face him, biting her lip as she tried to figure out how to explain it. "Alright, look. I'm like a scout. Basically, I get sent to events the day prior or a few hours before the actual on-camera reporter goes. You know, to pick out the site or what parts of the event are newsworthy. They usually send a director but for stupid things like county fairs and wine tastings, they send me or Kevin."
"Who the hell's Kevin?"
"My friend. That's not the point. I need to go, but I hate going by myself to these things in downtown Chicago. Sometimes Colin comes, but he's in New York, and Kevin's covering something in Kenosha… I think you'd really like it, Steven. There's lot of cool, new gadgets. And, oh! There will be bands." Her expression hopeful, Jackie nodded. "So, will you… will you come?"
"Jackie... Look, I think we need to talk." After a brief pause and a few glances around the car, mostly just to buy time, Hyde fixed a serious gaze on her. "We've gotta stop hanging out."
"What?"
"We shouldn't be hanging around each other."
"Wait, you came to me today."
"I know. And I'm thinking maybe it was a mistake."
"Oh. I see. Of course. Everything that has to do with me is a mistake for you, isn't it?"
"Jackie, come on…"
"No, Steven. You're right. Me leaving work and thinking that you would appreciate it was a huge mistake."
"Jackie, cut the crap. You know what I'm saying."
"No, I don't. What are you saying, Steven?"
"Halloween! Tonight!" Hyde reminded her sharply, making her jump. He deflated, regretting it instantly. "I'm sorry. I just… Come on, Jackie. We screwed up and now we're making an even bigger mess of it. We shouldn't be hanging out together. Not after what happened. It's not…We keep… doin' stuff."
"Steven, if this is about those kisses then I'm sorry. You just… you looked so sad and when you're sad, your lips get all sad, too, and I... and then the second time, I don't know what happened."
"The second time was me, Jackie. That's the problem." Hyde turned toward her and made the tension even more palpable with another potent dose of eye contact. "I like my girlfriend, okay… A lot… We need to stop." His pleading eyes watched hers for the reaction that he knew would come, but when her bottom lip expanded in a slight pout and her eyes fell, he understood her point about sad lips. He wanted to kiss hers, too.
"You're right," she said. "I wasn't thinking. I just want us to be friends so much. I thought you wanted the same. But I suppose you already got all you wanted from me." Clipping the door handle, Jackie fought to get out, ignoring his hand and his call for her to wait as she struggled with the door. Eventually escaping, the brunette jogged through the rain and fumbled with her car keys.
Conflicted, Hyde watched her from the driver's seat of his car, his mind playing a single thought on a loop: She dropped everything for me. In a fight against his own instincts, he dropped his head back and shut his eyes. "Damn it… Jackie, wait."
He jumped out of his car and caught her just as she was about to the shut the door to her silver Pontiac Sunbird. Shoving his body in the way, Hyde knelt down. "I'll go, okay. I'll go."
"I don't want you to go, now. I wouldn't want you to have to beat me off with a stick, seeing as how slutty and whorey I get when I'm around you. I'm such a tramp, Steven! I just can't control myself!"
"Jackie, cut it out."
"Well, isn't that what you're saying? You may like your girlfriend, Steven, but I love Colin, and yeah, we messed up but it doesn't mean we're going to do it again. That kiss didn't mean anything, so just forget it even happened."
"Look, all I was saying was that… I mean, come on, Jackie, don't you find any of this strange? We don't talk. We never hang out. We ignored each other for over two years and hated each other for three and now, all of a sudden..."
"I didn't hate you."
"Yes. You did."
"Well, you were a jerk!"
"Yeah, that's my point, Jackie. Why would you want to hang out with me after all that?"
"You hated me, too."
"You're right. I did. And look, I don't hate you anymore. I don't feel anything. We don't even know each other anymore. Yet, when we get alone together, we can't stop making out. It's what happens to us. Don't forget how we started. And Halloween, I don't... I don't know what the hell happened."
"We were drunk and stupid," Jackie replied, bizarrely affected by his lack of feelings for her. She may not have loved him anymore, but she wouldn't have said she felt nothing either. "It was a mistake."
"And if we get drunk and stupid again?"
"Well, then you're just going to have to control your urges, Steven Hyde, because it's not going to happen again."
Slightly amused, Hyde let out a small, yet irritated, chuckle. "See, this is us. We don't get along, Jackie, and we never will. Not really." Hyde stood up. "Maybe we should just leave it at that, OK? I don't want to fight with you anymore. I'll just… I'll see ya around, Jackie."
"Fine."
Hyde wanted to move, but something kept him stationary, something akin to guilt, mixed with a faint desire to make things up to her. After everything they'd done, every promise he'd denied her and every tear he knew she had shed, Jackie was still right there when he needed her.
Hyde sighed. "Damn it. What's your address?"
"What?"
"Where do you live? I have to pick up the police report and bring it to the insurance company here anyway. I can pick you up at around ten. Is that alright?" God, she was making this difficult. She always did, especially when she looked at him like that and gave him that incredible smile.
"It's perfect."
Hyde knelt back down. "But I have three rules."
"Okay."
His index finger pointed up. "One – No drinking. Two – No weed…"
"But those things are all you, Steven."
"Yeah, I'm realizing that. But the last one is you. Three – no skirts, no low-cut tops and leave the boots at home so… basically, no skin. You're only allowed to wear a standard bulky sweatshirt with loose jeans. Got it?"
"But Steven…"
"Jackie."
"Okay." As she attempted to force back a triumphant grin, Jackie scribbled directions to her apartment onto an old receipt she found in her purse. "There. If you see the Circle K, you've gone too far."
"Ten o'clock. You better be ready." Hyde started to walk away. "And hey, be careful. It's gettin' icy. You want me to follow you?"
"No, I'm good." Jackie watched him get into his car, and they both went their separate ways, until tomorrow...
Minneapolis, MN
The Four Seasons Hotel
One Hour Later
"What's the matter with you?"
A hopeless look on her face, Jessica hung up the phone. "Nothing." There was no way she was talking to her sister, Sera, about Hyde. Sera hated Hyde, and Hyde hated Sera. It was a relationship that worked well for them, but killed her. She sat thinking for a moment and as usual, couldn't help herself; she never could when it came to him. "I hung up on Steven this morning," Jessica blurted out. "And now I can't get a hold of him." Her older sister laughed, infuriating the small blonde. "Why are you laughing? It's not funny."
Sera nodded, never losing her amused grin. "Yes, it is." But Jessica wasn't laughing or smiling. "Oh, come on. He's probably just out getting drunk like last night. The fucking lush."
Jessica stood up and walked toward her only sibling. "He called last night?"
"Yep."
"Why didn't you tell me? What did he say?"
Sitting on the bed, Sera nonchalantly picked through Jessica's make-up case, checking every piece for one she liked, one she would probably steal later. "I don't know. I could barely understand him; he was drunk. But I told him the truth. That you were downstairs in the bar, surrounded by cute guys, and having a good time without him."
"What!" Jessica shouted, ripping her Sea Shell Pink Lipstick out of her whore of a sister's grubby claw. "Bitch!" Sera stood up, and Jessica shoved her. "Why would you say that?!"
"The jerk probably won't even remember. He was out of it, Jess."
Panicking, Jessica began to pace. "Oh, my God. That's probably why he called this morning. And I hung up on him. He probably took you seriously." She glared at her sister, who simply shrugged. "Get out of my room and stop answering my phone!"
"Oh, let him worry a little. See that's the problem, Jess. That's why he dicks you around the way he does. Because he knows you care about him, and he's not worried about it. He didn't even care when I said that."
"He didn't?" Jessica stopped and watched as her sister shook her head. "Not at all?"
"Nope. See… You need to make him worry."
Sitting down, the younger blonde considered what her sister was telling her. "No. You know what? I don't want to make him worry. You know what I want? I want to go home," she said, covering her face in her hands. "And get the hell away from you."
"Me?" Sera said. "Well, I'm tired of watching my baby sister sit by a phone instead of out having fun. And I'm sick of watching you, a college graduate, work as a waitress just so you can stay in some Podunk town with some Podunk guy who won't even admit he loves you after over a year. I'm sorry, but it pisses me off. He doesn't deserve you. And I swear to God, if you don't move to Chicago, just because Hyde won't move, I will never speak to you again." Grabbing her purse, and the Sea Shell Pink lipstick, Sera stormed out.
"Good! Another reason for me to stay in Point Place!" Jessica shouted after her. Mentally exhausted, she curled up on her bed. She was ready to go home, crawl under the covers with Hyde and promise to never leave his side again. And just when she thought she would be miserable forever, the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey."
"Oh, Steven. Thank God. I'm so sorry about this morning. I've been calling you all day…"
"I know. I got your messages."
God, his voice sounded so good. She wanted nothing more than to climb though the phone into his lap and kiss him senseless. "Oh, I miss you. I just want to go home. I want you to hold me, and kiss me and," she nearly said, 'and tell me you love me,' but all that would do was piss him off and frustrate her when he refused. And acting like it didn't bother her was becoming more and more difficult. So as usual, she stifled her needs to accommodate his. "I miss you," Jessica said instead and sat for a moment, waiting… "Steven?"
"Yeah?"
"Why aren't you saying anything? Don't you miss me?"
"I didn't say that."
Her eyes narrowed until they were shut tightly in aggravation, her lips pursed. "Yeah. Exactly. You didn't say anything." Feeling suddenly pissed, thinking about what her sister had said, the blonde nearly blew up at his silence but then she had a thought. "Wait. Is this about what my sister said last night? Because yes, I went to a bar last night, but there weren't guys all over me and I wasn't having a good time."
"Jess, it's fine. I don't care about that. I want you to have a good time."
Suddenly, the aggravation returned. "You don't care about that?"
"No. I trust you."
"You trust me?"
"That's what I said." He sounded flippant as usual. "I know you wouldn't cheat."
"And why wouldn't I?"
"What?"
"Well, what makes you so sure I wouldn't cheat?"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Jessica sighed. "Nothing. Just forget I said anything."
"No. What the hell's that supposed to mean, Jess? You want to screw around? Go ahead, baby. Have a blast. I'll catch you later."
"Steven!"
"What?" Hyde had almost slammed down the phone. The thought of her cheating made him want to punch the wall in, but the fact that he was a hypocrite didn't make its way past him either.
"Why are you mad at me?"
"I'm not," Hyde said in frustration. He hated when she got like this, all insecure and clingy, but he didn't want to yell at her either. For two reasons: he really did like her and yelling would only make her cry, meaning he would never get any sleep tonight. "Look. I don't want to have this conversation right now, okay? I miss you but… I'm going to hang up now."
"I would never cheat on you. Please don't hang up thinking that. It's just… I don't know. You're acting as though you don't even care that I'm gone."
"Maybe it has nothing to do with you, Jess. Maybe if you had asked me about my day instead of only talking about yourself, you would understand." Hyde huffed. "Look, I don't think you're going to cheat, I do care about you, and I'm not mad, alright? I'm just…" Taking in a deep breath, Hyde tried to reel in his burgeoning irritation. "I'm tired and wet, and I had a crappy day today, so I don't feel like dealing with this tonight, Jess. I just don't."
"What happened?"
"I don't… I'll tell you about it tomorrow. Right now, I just want to get some sleep. I have to get up really early. I'll talk to you later, alright?"
There was silence on the other end so he patiently waited until she spoke. "Are we okay?"
"We're fine," Hyde said through his teeth, making them sound anything but fine. And then instead of silence or her usual upbeat response, he heard her start to cry. Real tears that told him she was more upset than he thought. She sounded lonely and hurt, and at twenty-five years old, it wasn't a pain he was willing to inflict anymore. Jessica would have never survived his younger counterpart. Never. She would have crumbled under the crap those other girls had endured, especially Jackie. He was sure of it. "Jess, come on. Don't cry. I'm sorry, okay. It's not you." It was a lie. He was pissed at her. Pissed at her for hanging up on him and pissed at her for leaving. If she had been home, there would be no confused Jackie crap going on in his head. He would be making out with the little blonde right now, not even thinking about his ex in various sexual positions, whispering comforting words in his ear or snuggling him to sleep. But that wasn't the case right now, and Hyde wanted to scream into the phone for her to get her ass home or else there was a very real chance that he was going to fuck her dark-haired nemesis again. "When are you coming back?"
Her crying had slowed considerably. "On the 17th."
"Why can't you just come home on the weekends?"
"I don't have the money for that."
"I'll pay for it."
"You will? Oh, honey..." Jessica's voice perked up, and Hyde smiled. This was nicer to hear. "I love you. Just let me check with my dad, and we'll figure something out."
Hyde grinned proudly now. There. Problem solved. He just needed a few doses of his girlfriend, and everything would be back to normal. No more Jackie. "Cool. Well, I'm going to head to bed. I'll call you tomorrow." He would tell her about Leo tomorrow, when his head was in it, when it wasn't pounding and begging for sleep.
"Okay." Her voice was much more chipper now, and his guilt was fading slightly. "I love you, baby. Goodnight."
"Night." Hanging up, Hyde shook his head and wondered what it was about her that made him want to love her so badly, and what it was that was holding him back from actually doing it.
Milwaukee, WI
Jackie's Apartment
After setting down her trusty hairdryer, Jackie posed and smiled softly at her reflection. Her hair was perfect tonight.
Absolutely perfect.
Then arrived a brief moment of doubt. She hated those moments. She couldn't help but wonder as she studied her dark, shiny hair, why she was the only one. His exclusiveness to blondes made her self-conscious sometimes, although she would never admit it to another soul. Her whole life people told her she was beautiful—her friends, her teachers, and, most especially, boys—so much so that she felt it with every move she made, every breath she took. When she was a child, women would gush to her mother over her daughter's gorgeous raven hair, stunning features, and eyes that a jeweler would set in platinum if it were at all possible. But Steven Hyde, a boy raised in dirt, didn't always see it.
Closing her eyes, Jackie saw his face; it was a random memory of him as he sat on the piano bench in the Forman living room. It was a party maybe, she couldn't remember, and he had yet another blonde on his lap. But out of nowhere, from across the room, he had looked over at her, stilling her heart temporarily as he held a brief disinterested stare then turned his attention back to his date. With a sick fascination, Jackie watched him smile at the girl and raise his hand to gently take a piece of her flaxen hair between his fingers, sliding them down over the light-colored tress as he kissed her. It marked the first time in Jackie's life that she felt unattractive, ugly even.
And the last.
Opening her eyes, Jackie stared again at her reflection and instead looked at herself through Colin's eyes, smiling at what she saw.
Steven Hyde had been wrong that day.
She was beautiful. Better than any stinking blond.
With no more doubts, Jackie worked to untie her robe and made her way into her bedroom, the plushest of all the rooms in her house. It was her sanctuary and the place that she and Colin had spent many lazy afternoons in bed.
As Jackie whipped back her covers, guilt began to set in as irony reared its ugly head. The only boy to never cheat on her—besides Fez—she was screwing over, just as she had done to poor Fez. It made her wonder: maybe she was drawn to men who treated her like crap, to men who broke her heart and made her feel unwanted. To them, she gave unconditional love and loyalty. To the rest, she gave heartbreak and lies.
What was wrong with her, she wondered as she slipped beneath her Egyptian cotton sheets and reached up to flip off her lamp. Lying there in the dark, she realized that her insecurities were not all Hyde's fault, and her loyalties to him went far beyond love and stupidity. They were buried deep beneath history and experience, and not even Colin, as perfect as he was, could unearth and liberate her from their power…
June 18, 1982
Jackie's hands remained planted over her ears, causing a tunnel effect that kept her feeling safe and protected, separated from this nightmare. Her eyes were still shut tightly, retaining their snapshot of Hyde's face, her body now huddled in the corner, under the stairs that Hyde had charged with her safety. He had been right. She was safe here, in her own little cocoon, safe from fear, safe from men who saw her tenderness as weakness and weakness as opportunity, safe from her own stupid mistakes. It was peaceful in this place. Quiet. But the seconds ticked past excruciatingly slow and although her Steven Hyde was probably the strongest man she'd ever known, she still worried for him.
Peering up cautiously, Jackie wondered what was happening in her apartment. What was he doing? Was he safe, too? Was he hurt? Then her mind shifted gears… How pissed off was he? In an instant, she sorted through all of all the times she saw him angry and could only recall seeing that precise look in his eyes once before.
"Oh, my God."
As panic began to set it in, safety felt more like loneliness, and Jackie dropped her hands.
"Hyde," she called upwards quietly. Remaining still, she glanced around with wide eyes and listened. There was no noise. No sound. Only darkness and an eerie silence that made the seconds seem like a lifetime.
"Steven?"
Silence.
"Oh, please be okay," she whispered to herself. "Please be okay, please be…"
BOOM!
Startled practically out of her skin, Jackie looked over at the source of the fierce crash. In the spaces between the stairs, she caught a glimpse of her boyfriend of almost four months, bloodied and writhing on the ground, until the sounds of thundering footsteps drew her head upwards.
"You fucking bitch!"
Looking over again, Jackie caught Chris' angry eyes.
"You called HIM?"
As she shook her head, out of disgust that she ever let this jerk into her life, her home, her body, Jackie watched Chris get up and move toward her.
"Steven!" she screamed out, backing toward the opposite wall.
Hyde wasn't even touching every step on his way down and, once he hit the bottom, he wrenched Chris back by his neck, tossing him toward the door and away from Jackie. She was stunned at how unharmed he looked. There was only anger. And unexpectedly, Jackie realized that it was Chris' life she needed to pray for, especially when she watched Hyde use Chris's head to get the glass front door open.
"Oh, my God! Steven! Stop!"
Running behind them, Jackie pushed through the now cracked door and outside into the parking lot where Hyde was beating the life out of her boyfriend. "Steven! Calm down!" She flinched at every crunch of every hit and tried like hell to get her ex's attention, but he was too far gone. There was so much blood. "Hyde! It's enough!"
"Jackie, get the hell back inside!"
"No!"
Through all the chaos, Jackie heard Chris say something in between punches, although she couldn't make it out. But apparently Hyde could, because his rage seemed to grow to a ruthless level as he kicked Chris over onto a prone position, grabbed a fistful of his hair, and placed his open mouth down over the edge of the curb.
"Steven, what are you doing?"
Hyde stood up and stepped back.
"Steven, don't," Jackie began to cry. "NO! PLEASE!"
