If it is in normal style, then it is speech.
If it is in italics, then it is thought.
If it is in
bold, then it is the individual's natural tongue.
If it is
underlined, then it is Devil.


Author's Note: Just updating for the sake of updating. Writing is still very, very slow.


Chapter Eleven: Poker Face

Baek's wood-coloured eyes soared across the students before him. He had them sparring against one another, of different belts and different ages, and they were all doing pretty well against one another in their various portions of the dojang. Of course, he had them swap over every few minutes so that their skills were dispersed. It would be idiocy to constrict the person to one partner.

Hwoarang was currently against someone who was on the same belt as him (that belt being blue), and he clearly had the upper hand. He raised his left leg and brought it down on a fierce axe kick, the heel smashing into his opponents forearm guards. He moved back, hobbling a little, in pain, and brought up his own arms to defend against a well timed roundhouse kick.

He was, surprisingly, distracted. He was trying not to show it, however.

Sienna eyes constantly monitored Razer's opponent, who was none other than Tae-Yang. He was fifteen, quite tall, very muscular, and had short black hair that was styled up into a mini-mohawk. And clearly, though her head was in the fight, she was not making much effort to attack back, taking on the 'frightened' face as a disguise. She was clearly admiring him in silence. The subject of her awe seemed to realise this too, showing off with various kicks.

Deciding that enough was enough, he spoke clearly, his face blank, "Stop!"

Every student ceased movement, with a delay from the Greek.

"Good work today," Baek remarked, "I want you here again the same time tomorrow. Dismissed!"

They bowed respectfully to him before heading off to wherever, be it the front door or in their little groups, still awaiting their family to pick them up. Baek moved to the corner of the room to grab a drink for himself, and Hwoarang left the room to change into something more comfortable, like his tracksuit pants and an old sweat shirt.

The 40-year-old's eyes drifted towards his other student, who's hands were behind her back. She was observing Tae-Yang closely, watching as he gathered his things, stuffed them into his little bag, and began to head to the door, briefly waving good bye at the teacher and a stray student here and there.

At the front door, which is where Razer was stationed, she spoke, eyes studying him, "Good spar."

Tae-Yang stopped and looked down on her, grinning slightly, "Yeah, good spar."

She chose her words carefully, not wanting to be vulnerable and not wanting to confuse him. Tae-Yang was not as familiar with English as Hwoarang, Baek and two others were. His knowledge of English was limited, as was the rest of the class' knowledge. There were a fair few students who didn't know one word of the language, "See you tomorrow."

He nodded a little, leaving, "Bye!"

She closed the door behind him and sighed to herself silently. With a pleased smile, she moved away and also left to get changed into something much more comfortable. As comfy as this… dobuk was, it was nothing compared to the good old baggy clothes. As she moved, she slipped off her gloves and hopped on one food to remove each foot guard.

Eventually, she made her way to the living area of the dojang, where Hwoarang was standing. His arms were firmly folded across his chest and he was observing her with an unreadable expression. Surprised, she looked at him, blinking rapidly, the smile sliding off her face quickly. All traces of its existence left completely, "…What?"

"I didn't think you actually liked Tae-Yang," he blurted, flicking his head towards the door.

"Well… I do."

Something seemingly broke in his eyes. If something did break, it was covered up hurriedly and proficiently. An unemotional expression remained firmly lodged on the youth's face. For a moment, he said nothing. Eventually, he did, "Oh."

"Is there a problem with that?" she inquired cautiously, stepping towards her room, placing a hand on the doorknob.

"He's bad for you."

She stopped and turned wholly, looking at him through slightly narrowed eyes. Her gloves and foot guards were still tucked firmly underneath her left arm. She blinked repeatedly for a moment before widening her eyes slightly in surprise. Both kids were unaware of Baek's hovering hawk eyes, observing them from the other room whilst he waited for the last of the students to leave the dojang, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Bewildered, she repeated his statement, "He's 'bad' for me?"

"Yeah."

"What do you mean?"

Hwoarang leant off the counter and started to walk around the room, his gaze to the floor. His bare feet scuffed over the polished wood, squeaking merely once, "Well, first off… he's one of those people who thinks he's 'too cool'. He's probably got a girlfriend anyway, sorry to say. Secondly, if he didn't have one and did go out with you, he'd use you as a trophy. Like the whole, you know…" he looked up at her and used his hands animatedly in his example, "'I have a girlfriend, check this shit out!', like that for example. Thirdly he probably uses drugs –"

"Drugs?" Razer asked. Now this was getting out of hand. He was reaching for stuff from the bottom of the barrel.

"Yeah. See those dark circles under his eyes? They're probably effects from drugs, if he takes 'em."

"Or they could be bags from not sleeping," she scowled, "Or fading black eyes."

The 14-year-old threw his arms down to his sides and cut to the point that he was trying to hide. Time to show her the hand he was holding – knowledge. Tae-Yang went to his school and was in his health class. He knew him more than Razer realised. He sighed, "He's sex-obsessed."

"And you're not?"

"I use sex as a joke!" he remarked, "And fine, I wank, what guy doesn't? But I'm not obsessed with it!"

"First of all, I did not need to know that… And secondly, how would you know?!" she countered, throwing her things inside, walking towards him. She stuck her thumbs inside her belt and watched as his eyebrows furrowed slightly, before going back to normal. As for her, well, she was quite angry.

Yes, child… Devil growled, Harness your anger. He is trying to hold you back, just like your Father. Let the anger grow.

"Raze, he goes to my school. We're in a class together, and all he talks about to his mates is finding a couple of chicks, getting them so drunk that they can't see, and nailing them repeatedly. I might pretend that I'm not listening in the change rooms as I'm putting my school shoes back on, but I hear pretty much every word. And you're my friend, I don't want you to go to someone like that when we both know you can do better."

"You're just jealous of him!" she snapped, "You're just jealous that all the girls like him whilst no one likes you!"

With that said and done, she turned back to her room and slammed the door behind her. The force of it caused some wind, blowing the Korean's hair and clothing around a little. He simply stared at where she had been and blinked repeatedly, confused and shocked. Weren't they past the teasing game? They hadn't yelled at each other for the two whole months that passed. Not one fight or taunt or nothing since the 9th of March, his birthday.

Weren't they friends now? He was only looking out for her. He knew what he had said was correct, he wasn't lying (for once). Hell, last week, he even heard Tae-Yang mention her in their 'idea', which worried him greatly. And as her friend, it was now his job to look out for her. He didn't say anything more, but if she was mentioned again, he would most probably attack him.

…But why would he attack him? Because she's his friend, right?

Seeing her upset and angry… The yelling… Why did it hurt so much?

And more importantly, why did it mean so much?


Who does he think he is? she snapped. She was trying to read, but to no avail. The words would blur together in meaningless formations, leaving her with nothing but more frustration and more anger directed at the 14-year-old. Her hands clenched around the firm surface of the English novel, nails digging in mercilessly. Her breathing was still flared and erratic from yelling at the boy standing outside her door.

Maybe she was wrong in becoming his friend. Maybe she was wrong in listening to his tales, in giving him support through dark times, in laughing with him. Maybe this was some type of sick game conjured up by some deity, something in her mind. Maybe they were toying with her mind, giving her what she classified as the type of male friend she wanted deep down – fun, caring, reliable.

Perhaps she was dead, and this was some type of strange fantasy. But in heaven, isn't there supposed to be nothing but happy endings? Nothing but sweet smiles, honest happiness, lukewarm love, firm friendships and everything you ever wanted? There weren't supposed to be any harsh words or bumps in the road. It was supposed to be smooth sailing. No squall or cloud to hinder things. No screams or tears. Nothing negative.

Your mind truly is wandering, mortal.

Devil's crooning words made her flinch. She closed her eyes, able to hear the entity clearer and visually see her.

You are alive, and he said everything. You did not dream anything. Do not let him get away with those inconsiderate and manipulative words, she hissed, a cruel grin on her pale face. A clawed hand came into view, originally open, fingers spread wide. In an instant, her hand clenched into a tight fist, You are not to be walked on anymore, am I correct? You said so yourself… The weak, pathetic you is supposedly 'gone', no? I fail to see such a thing.

Her eyebrows furrowed, Violence, as much as I would like it to be in this situation, is not the answer.

That is only because you have not gone through every other avenue and failed. Let me save you a lot of time and tell you right now that violence is the answer. It solves every problem more efficiently than any equation. It stops people more effectively than a wall. It truly is the way to go. Any difficulty you come across will be smitten below your fist.

Oh, but wait… You are too fragile, yes? She sneered, You are not even thirteen yet. Another month to go. Even so, once May passes into June, although you will grow a year older, you will not get any stronger. Let me come out and pave the way for you. Let me come out and teach every pathetic soul a lesson – you are not to be trifled with. You… and I… are a force of nature.

I am the human, and you are my nightmare, Razer growled, closing up her book.

Her blood red eyes narrowed, and her white fangs gleamed, I am the Queen, and you are my pawn.

She shivered, I am not your pawn. I am not your weapon, your vessel, to be manipulated by as you see fit.

Oh, but you are my vessel, monster… My shell,she laughed, her voice echoing through Athane's mind, even as her eyes opened forcefully, Where as you will one day perish to time… I will continue on. The thought of me is eternal.

She dropped the novel immediately, one of her hand shooting up to her throat. It felt tight, as though someone was choking her. She was well acquainted with the feeling, despite having been without it for ten whole months now. She narrowed her eyes, trying to cope with the pain, and attempted to regulate her shallow breathing to either loosen up her throat, or relax. What was happening?

She suddenly stood, something that was beyond her control. Further perplexed, her body began to walk to the door at its own accord. The hand that was formerly at her throat dropped to her side, and the panicked expression was replaced with a calm one. Inside, however, she was still stressed and confused. It was as though someone else was controlling her body.

Oh, someone else is controlling your body, mortal… Me.

Where are you taking me?

Outside.

Devil, through Razer, opened the door and slammed it shut behind her. She began to head towards the dojang's exit, inwardly chuckling, though on the outside, she fought hard to maintain a calm, cool and collected disposition.

Hwoarang, who had been playing some video games to pass the time, leapt out of his seat and dropped the control, not even caring to pause the game. He ran a shaky hand through his red hair and stammered, "Listen, Raze, about before –"

"Save it."

He froze. If she was being so firm with him, then she must be infuriated.

In actual fact, inside, she was screaming for help. Devil was speaking for her.

The Korean shuffled back and nodded slightly, returning to his game, "Okay…"

Passing through the training area, she saw Baek, who was getting the place ready for the next lesson. At the sound of her entering, he spoke to her over his shoulder, "Oh, ready for training already? I didn't realise you were that eager."

"I am going outside for a long walk."

"Why?"

"I… need time to think."

"Sure, just make sure you get back before dark."

The front door closed quietly. She was forced to turn right and feverishly searched for a secluded place.


She wasn't sure how long or how far she had been walking, but it felt like an eternity. Control was not released. If anything, the phantom grip simply tightened. The more Razer fought it, the harder it was to even remain conscious. The last thing she wanted was to become unconscious in a time such as this. Where would she end up? What would happen?

Devil had taken her host for a long wander. A wicked sneer was on her visage, as slowly but surely, she gained control of her host. Almost everything was in her control now, even as Razer again attempted to stop, but to no avail. Just a little further, just over there. There, she would be free. There, she could spread her wings for the first time in months, and fly. There, after transformation, she would be able to do whatever she wanted.

Sleep, mortal, she hissed, feeling the last wisps of control wither away, Sleep.


To: Hwoarang
From: Hwoarang
Subject: Rant

Nothing like a little rant to yourself to make you feel a little better. Baek always told me to express my feelings, because then I'd feel better. Well, I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to shred the shit out of my guitar. I don't want to 'write a song' as he's suggested before. Fuck poetry. And, for once, I don't want to train until I collapse and pass out.

That in itself scares me.

I'll just talk to myself. I'll watch the letters appear on the screen before me, making (somehow) articulate sentences. I'm putting all of my current thoughts into this email, and even though I'm gonna send it back to myself, I'll still have let it out. And that's what I really need at the moment. So, Hwoarang Maeng… care to listen to Hwoarang Doo San's story? Do you want to hear what you've become by trying to better yourself?

Well… people often talk of two-faces.

'That two-faced bitch!', 'he's two-faced', 'they might seem sympathetic but behind your back, they're enjoying your demise', 'the snake with two heads'… you know. All that type of stuff. Though I fail to see why I bothered putting in that last example. Maybe because it's a cool analogy-thing and I'm trying to keep a happy attitude to this situation.

I'm not two-faced. At least, not to those who are inside my good books, especially those who are closest.

So like, pretend my heart's an object I hold. It's in my arms, and we're in the direct centre of this massive fort. There are many walls surrounding us – layers upon layers upon layers. I've got monitors everywhere, like thousands of eyes. I can see everything that's going on around me, and how I respond to it is carefully planned. What I have left of Dad and Mum, be it the goggles or the few memories, are in constant contact with us. I don't want them to go away. Baek's standing behind me, watching the world with me in silence.

It's kinda lonely here, y'know? So a few layers into it I let some people in – Shin Min, Changmin, and Raze. My friends. Or rather, my acquaintance, the other acquaintance, and my friend. They're all pretty cool people to hang with. And as my… 'friends', I look out for them. That's what friends are for. You look out for one another and protect one another where you can. Changmin and that bully from the other school? Taken care of. Shin Min and his stalking ex-girlfriend? Taken care of.

Razer and her infatuation with Tae-Yang? Under process.

She thinks I'm lying and stuff. Why would I lie to a friend about something like that? I'm looking out for her. It's quite clear she's interested, so I want to guide her, y'know? Just warn her. If she wants to still go for him then alright, fine, go for him, I don't really care. Just remember that I'll be here if ya need me. But you see, I didn't even get the chance to say that. She just… yelled at me.

More importantly, why does it hurt so much? Shin Min and Changmin have yelled at me before. It rolled off my back, like water sliding down a duck's… back. Or, I'd argue. I did retaliate, but I didn't want to argue about this. I felt… bad. I felt even worse after she yelled at me. It's too strong to just feel bad about yelling at/being yelled at by a friend. I've only had this feeling a few times before, and that was when I was laughed or sneered at by some random girl that I liked. Now there's a worry.

Then there's the poker faces. This… weird website defines it as 'an impassive facial expression cultivated to prevent other players from determining whether one's actions in the game are the result of a quality hand, or of bluffing'. This online dictionary defines it as 'any similar expression used to prevent giving away one's motives, feelings or situation.'

I've got a poker face set up here. Not only do I want to take care of the only friend I have, but… I don't want her to go to him. He's a fucking prick! If she knew what he was really like, then she wouldn't go anywhere near him. Besides, she's too good for him. He deserves some whore who gets pregnant every five seconds by twenty different guys. She deserves someone who will look after her. She needs someone who will look after her. Fine, I dunno her story, but she's fragile. You can see it. And if she goes to Tae-Yang, then she'll be broken even further. And as a friend, I don't want that to happen.

An underlying motive, though… I dunno, really. I just don't want to see her hurt I guess. But why? I don't know. She's my friend? Talk about stating the obvious. Okay well, if I don't want her to go to Tae-Yang, then who do I want her to go to? I mean I'm sure there's some good stuff about Tae-Yang but… am I just going to find something bad in every guy she likes? Until there's no one left or something? Or until… she ends up with me?

Do I like her? Mm… I'm not so sure myself. But I do feel something. I do care.

Maybe she's closer to the centre of the fort than I first thought.

I mean, fine. I want to be understood, but I'm afraid to let anyone in. I might let them in a little bit… not the whole way. And she's the same. She wants to be understood but is terrified of letting anyone in to see. So I'll wait.

Hypothetical situation. Let's say I do like her. What makes me better than Tae-Yang? What makes me think that she deserves someone like me? I'm just as bad as him, but in different areas. He's a sex-loving narcissist who thinks that everyone on Earth has been designed to serve him somehow; and I'm a… cold person. Or I'm trying to be. Or was trying to be. It's pretty obvious I'm not. Let's simplify it further and go, 'as if she'd like me anyway'. She said so herself. No one does. So why bother in the first place? I'm gonna be left to just simply… 'admire' in the background.

Well maybe I can't pull her towards me. But I can pull her away from him. And then she'll find someone better.

Let's keep this… poker face thing going, shall we?

Click.

One new message.


She stared into the ripping puddle of blood, long and hard. Her lips curled into a smirk, and her eyes narrowed into slits. The chains were heavy on her thin arms, dragging the limbs downward, and sending the liquid on the tips of her claw-like fingers down south. They slowly trickled off, drop by drop, bit by bit, echoing into the mess before her.

She had done it.

Devil Razer lifted her head and chuckled. Past her large, black wings, she saw another two humans staring at her in fear. Clenching her fists, she turned to them wholly, and replaced her delight for killing with an impassive face. Don't let them know what you're about to do, because if they have any idea, they will revert to their most basic instincts – fight or flight. Given the circumstance, the individuals will fight. After all, their friend lay dead behind her.

Closer and closer now. She could smell their fear. Licking her lips, she stood a little taller. The form of her host, although small and thin, was more than capable of destruction. And as her vessel, she would have to do. She was satisfactory, maybe even a little more so. The power of her mind, though, would be frustrating. It was an effort to gather total control. Currently, the 12-year-old's true self remained deep within her mind, and was sound asleep.

When the child is away, the devil will come out and play.

"Monster!" the man growled, charging towards her.

Sidestepping, the man tumbled forward and fell into the body of his former friend. He leapt to his feet thereafter, blood covering his own form. Shaken by the act, he moved towards her again, noticing how she had not turned around to look at him. Taking it as an opportunity, he bawled both of his hands together into one, large, tight fist, and moved to swing it into her neck.

In the blink of an eye, Devil span around. Her hand curled around both wrists firmly, her claws cutting into the man's skin. Still maintaining a blank expression, she launched herself and her foe into the air, flying higher, and higher, and higher still. The cold wind rushed around her body, battering her hair in a multitude of annoying and distracting directions.

The man struggled against her and remained in her hold. Her blood red eyes darted towards him. Looked at him for a firm moment, directly in the eyes, and could see the realisation crawl into his mind. And at that exact moment, the exact moment where he knew he was going to die, she smirked subtly and chuckled once more, swiftly dropping him from their position hundreds of metres in the air.