This fanfic idea comes from the prompt I choose to do for the Bingo Ficathlon at the Robin Hood Fan Community forum.
The prompt was: "Marian accepts Guy's proposal at the end of 'Walkabout', both thinking that Nottingham is about to be destroyed. It doesn't happen. Now they're both left wondering what's next. Will Marian actually go through with the marriage this time? And if not, how in the world does Guy deal with the loss a second time?"
To explain the beginning of this fanfiction, I did a video "It's Our Fight". (You can see it at dolphen3's channel on Youtube.)
English is not my first language. I have the best Beta in the world :) Brokenheirloom, it's always a pleasure to work with you! You give me strength and courage! Thank you my dear friend!
I want to apologize for the lake of the chapter last week but I was so in a bad shape that I really couldn't. I tried to do a beautiful chapter this week to make-up to you. I really hope you will like it.
Thank you so much for your sweet comments and all my new followers. You make this story special and you warm my heart! Thank you, you're great!
Like I have a lot of things to do (I promised to create 6 differents calendars about Richard Armitage before the end of the year and I don't have already made the third of them), I couldn't write a chapter next week. So, I'm afraid you will have to wait till january the 3rd to have the next one. Thanks for your understanding! 3
Now, come back to the more important here: enjoy this chapter and please, don't forget to review ;)
Chapter 11
Guy was not sleeping, or I wasn't as quiet as I thought I was because as soon as I'd closed the door behind me a strong hand gripped my arm and dragged me farther into the room, catching me when I stumbled and spinning me around to face him, a blade cold and hard against my neck.
Surprised, I let out a tiny whimper and suddenly Guy released me. His voice was an incredulous whisper.
"Marian?"
I couldn't answer because as suddenly as I had been pulled into the room, I was crushed against his strong chest, wrapped in his muscular arms. I could barely breathe but I felt so safe in the shelter of his body that I never considered pulling away.
"You came back," he said, his voice gruff with emotion.
It felt as if he was shaking against me, and then I couldn't think anymore because his lips captured mine and he kissed me so fiercely and so passionately that I couldn't restrain the moan of pure pleasure that escaped me. When he heard it the trembling of his body increased and he deepened the kiss, his tongue searching my mouth as if to commit every inch of me to memory, remembering everything he could feel in it.
I didn't realize we had moved until I felt the wall pressing against my back. As I let out a quiet sound of surprise, Guy pinned me with his body and my soft moan was echoed by him, driven as we both were by a wave of pure passion. He wanted me, I could feel it not only in the way his hands roamed over my body, but also by how hard he was pressed against my stomach.
Amazed that simply kissing me could make him want me so much, I was filled with passion, more than I could ever hope to feel for him. One of my hands slid up to play with his soft hair while the other stroked his back, slipping down to his backside, but as soon as I touched him Guy abruptly pulled away from me, panting, his pupils dilated by the depth of his desire. I could see sweat glistening on his forehead.
My husband had never seemed so desirable before, and I couldn't resist the longing for him that burned so deeply and ardently within me; so I reached for him again, pressing my body against him, smiling when I heard the groan he couldn't restrain. But then he gripped my arms and pushed me away from him.
"Marian, not now!" His voice was husky and much deeper than usual, and I tried again to take him in my arms. But Guy was much stronger than me and, even though he was careful not to hurt me, he held me tight, closing his eyes and whispering, "Marian…please."
"Why?" I asked in frustration, giving in to his request for the moment.
"I need to know…" he hesitated.
Guy's behavior changed, transforming from the passionate man who was so ready to make love to me, becoming the awkward, shy Guy I had known not so long ago before our wedding.
"Know what, Guy?" I encouraged him.
"Why have you returned?"
Disconcerted by his question, I said, "Do you want me to leave?"
"Of course not, Marian!"
My husband tried to comfort me, releasing my arms and stroking my cheek gently while his other hand circled my waist, bringing me back to him in a subtle move.
"But…you're here now. Does that mean you've returned…for good?"
His last two words were said so low that I wasn't sure I'd really even heard them. He reminded me now of the way he'd been before, when he'd asked me something very important to him and had been torn between the hope that I would accept and the fear that I would refuse. I had been moved by it before, and now it was the same because I knew I would be inflicting the same pain as I had then.
How could I be so cruel to him?
But some decisions still needed to be made, some actions needed to be taken before I could come back to him to stay. If I decided to stay, I added inwardly, not yet ready to admit to myself what I already knew deep inside.
"No," I whispered, not daring to look at him. But I heard how sharply he breathed in as he released me, stepping away from me, and I could imagine how his jaw must have hardened at my reply.
"So…why are you here then, Marian?" Gone was the passion and the desire, and all that remained was the stern voice of the Sheriff's henchman. I couldn't suppress a shiver as the realization hit me.
"Guy…" I wanted so much to be able to tell him how much I had missed him, how much I wanted to be with him, how anxious I had been when Allan told me about him being beaten by the Sheriff. But I couldn't add anything as Guy turned to me, an accusing finger pointing at me.
"Don't 'Guy' me, Marian. Answer my question! It's not so difficult, is it?"
My anger rose to match his. I was here to be loved by him, not accused.
"Are you here to spy on me again, Marian? Are you here to use me and give information to Hood?"
His accusation took my breath away, and I couldn't restrain myself anymore. I drew back my hand to slap him, desperate to make him take back the hurtful words, but I wasn't fast enough. Guy caught my arm before I could touch him and twisted it around so it was behind my back, his grip strong on my wrist making me whimper softly. I let out a frustrated cry and started to hit his chest with my free hand, until he caught that as well and subjected it to the same treatment as the first.
He pushed me against the wall, one of his hands holding both of my wrists behind my back, pressing his hard body against mine while his other hand came to rest at my neck. I couldn't help but think about how different this was than the first time I'd ended up against this wall tonight – once with desire and passion, once with so much anger…and passion, but of a different sort.
That was it! Even if I was mad at him for his false supposition, feeling his strong body pressing so tight against mine, my arms captured by his hand and those long fingers on my neck made me want him more than ever. I was not afraid that he would actually hurt me, because his grip on my neck was gentle – it was only to keep me still, to make sure I couldn't look away from him even if the thought crossed my mind. I wanted more than anything else to be close to him – even my previous desire to make him pay for his cruel words faded in comparison to what his close proximity made me feel.
We stayed like that for several seconds but it felt like an eternity for me; an eternity that was a kind of bliss as I was close enough to see every detail of my husband's handsome face and all of the tiny expressions that showed exactly what he was thinking.
When I didn't answer him or fight back, he narrowed his eyes a little and unconsciously leaned a little closer to me, brushing his body against mine. We both groaned softly at the touch and I locked my eyes on his, seeing the way his widened and darkened with desire. I bit my bottom lip, making him lick his in response.
"Marian," he growled, his hand sliding from my neck down to my chest, his fingers resting on my cleavage.
I took a deep breath, trying to focus on all of the sensations he was awakening in me, fighting to keep my eyes open when all they wanted to do was close in bliss.
"I'm not spying on you," I said in a voice that I hoped would be firm, but to my utter shame only sounded thick with desire. "I promised to be faithful when we wed, remember?"
Guy sighed, his face leaning closer to mine while his fingers dipped into the cleft between my breasts, the warmth of his skin against mine beneath the fabric of my dress made me shiver, and I felt it echo through his body as well.
"I'm not here for Robin, or to fulfill any mission or purpose," I continued, wanting to diffuse the anger and fan the flames of sensual tension that was growing as each second passed.
Guy was so close to me now that he almost brushed his lips with mine when he asked, "So why are you here, Marian? Tell me the truth…now!"
I'd heard this tone before. Once on the day I followed him through the village and he caught me – he'd wanted to impress me and threaten me with his deep, low voice. But it never worked before, and today it worked even less because I knew now that he would never hurt me. His anger would never succeed with me, but his charm always would.
I was afraid to tell the truth, afraid to irritate him, afraid he thought I wanted to use him – well, this supposition was right at least, though not for the reason he would think – and I was afraid that he would push me away, that I would shock him with the desire that was unsuitable for a lady to feel. Finally, I saw something new in his eyes, something that almost pleaded with me to answer him, and I couldn't stop myself from replying honestly.
"I…I missed you, Guy," I said, and when he snorted in disbelief I pressed on. "I did! Allan told me about what the Sheriff had done to you, and I wanted to see how you were."
"So you came back out of pity?" He sounded more annoyed than angry now.
"Not pity, Guy," I assured him. He didn't look me in the eye then, so I found it easier to tell him the rest. "I was scared, worried about you. I wanted to make sure that you were alright."
He met my gaze then, his eyes burning into mine.
"And I saw how you took care of the boy in Clun…" I paused when he gave me a startled look. "You were so kind and considerate with him, I was amazed…and proud."
"I'm not always rough," he growled.
"I've been discovering that little by little, and it's something I love about you, Guy."
My voice was soft and I smiled as he searched my face, finally meeting my gaze once more. He swallowed and gave me a shy smile. "Really?"
"Really," I nodded, and the hint of a smile broadened. I couldn't restrain myself anymore so I rose up on tiptoe and tried to kiss him. It wasn't easy, as he still held my hands behind my back and I was still pinned to the wall by his body, but I succeeded at last.
As soon as my lips touched his, he moved his hand back up to my neck, sliding it around to pull me as close as he could while he deepened the kiss, making both of us groan softly – him with pleasure, me with surprise.
I wanted nothing more than to touch him, to caress him, and I wanted him to touch me, but with my hands still restrained I couldn't do anything. So while our tongues battled for control, I started to move my hands against his larger one, my body squirming against his.
"Marian," he moaned in my ear when he'd broken the kiss, his lips moving across my cheek and down the side of my neck. I had the feeling I'd be needing the scarf again for a few days, but I didn't care at all. He released my hands which slid instantly around his body.
After a moment that was much too brief, he leaned away from me, took my hand and guided me to the two chairs in front of the fireplace. What was he doing?
He settled me in one chair and sat in the other, and I waited for what was to come.
"Marian, where have you been all this time?" he asked in a cloyingly sweet voice.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Where were you? I was worried about you. I need to know what happened to you since you left here."
Was he serious? Did he really want to talk when all I wanted was for him to take me to bed?
"Are you sure you really want to talk…now?" I asked in an incredulous voice.
"Yes, Marian." When he saw how surprised I was, he added, "I know you will be gone tomorrow before dawn, and I need to know what you were doing or where you were, for my own peace of mind when you leave again."
It was rather sweet of him, but I didn't feel like talking at that moment. So I rose from my chair and started walking toward him slowly, and I could see him swallow hard as I stared at him. When I was near him I put my hand on his chest and let it slide along the fabric of his shirt while my eyes locked with his. When my hand reached his belt my other hand started to follow the same path. I was almost shocked at my own audacity and I absently hoped that the child I was sure I was carrying at this point would be a boy simply so I wouldn't have to worry about a daughter acting as shameless as her mother was at this moment. Nevertheless, there was no force in the world that could stop me from bedding my husband tonight.
Well, no force except possibly my husband himself!
"Marian, no!"
Pushing my hands off of him, he rose and walked past me, trying to stay away from me, turning away so all I could see was his broad back. I was completely lost – did I do something wrong? He had been supportive of my decision to leave in the first place, didn't he want me anymore? Had the one time he'd taken me to his bed been enough for him? It certainly hadn't been for me.
I didn't know what to do or think anymore, and I felt rejected. I finally sat down once more and, gathering what was left of my courage, I asked, "Is this how you're going to punish me for leaving? By refusing to be close to me?"
"Punish you?" Guy said, turning around to look at me. He seemed genuinely surprised. "Marian, if I can swear one thing to you, it's that I will never use our bed or our lovemaking as a punishment against you." He walked over to me, taking my hand and drawing me up to face him before lowering his head to mine, looking me straight in the eye. "In the same way that I will never allow you to use our bed or our lovemaking to manipulate me."
I swallowed hard when I realized that, again, I had been selfish. I'd come here only to quench my desire for him without considering how he would feel after I left again. I felt guilty and wanted to turn and run away, but he raised my chin and, with eyes full of love (the kind of look I'd always had to fight hard to resist) he added, "What we share here in our bed is precious to me, and I will never tarnish it or allow anyone else to sully it."
I had heard every word he said, and I knew that I would never forget them. But one simple word he'd repeated several times had warmed my body and my heart even as I tried to suppress my feelings.
"Our bed, Guy?" I asked in a shy voice.
"Yes, Marian. This is our bed now and it always will be. It is our place, our shelter, and it is only for you and I, for as long and as often as you'll want to be in it. Every time you are in this bed, no one will ever hurt you. You will always find support, caring, tenderness and…love."
His voice was so low and husky as he admitted this to me that I was certain in that moment that I could trust everything he told me. One look in his eyes and I knew that he had trapped me not with ropes or strength but with his love. I wasn't ready to admit it yet to myself – and certainly not to him – but even if I didn't know when it would happen again I would bet my life that I would share this bed again with him after tonight, willingly and as passionately as we would tonight. And the realization sent shivers through my body – I, the Night Watchman, the girl who was never afraid of anyone or anything, was suddenly terrified by the power this man had over me. My husband had the power of the flesh, a power I couldn't have denied him even if he'd asked me to.
He had awakened sensations in me I knew I would never be able to deny; but I would have to if I wanted to leave again (did I really want to now?) I tried to convince myself that it was only my body that wanted to stay with him, to enjoy being so close to his hard, warm body, to shudder every time he touched me, to burn with every word he said when his breath ghosted over my skin. It was only my body…it wasn't love, it was just lust…yes, that was it! Should I feel guilty for wanting such a man? My husband, the man I would be leaving on the morrow…the man who had fathered the baby I might this very moment be carrying.
I couldn't think anymore because I felt him lean his head to mine, and while his hands started to untie the laces of my gown he whispered in my ear, "I must confess you defeated me tonight…I was lost the instant I saw you."
Taking the shoulders of my dress between his hands, he slid it slowly to the floor, stroking my arms in the process. Then he started to undo my underdress.
"I tried to resist, to be brave, but…"
I didn't want to talk anymore, I just wanted to feel his lips on mine, his hands on my skin, his heart beating with mine. I kissed him deeply as he continued to remove my clothes gently, and when he left me in nothing but my thin, almost transparent shift he started to pull off his shirt, but I put my hands on him to stop him, his gaze lifting to mine.
"Please, let me do this."
He raised one eyebrow at me in question.
"Let me undress you. I want to see you…"
I flushed from head to toe, I was sure, for having admitted to such a shocking desire, but the smile of happiness on my husband's face comforted me. He was happy that I wanted to see him, to touch him, to love him…and so was I.
He let his hands fall to his sides and let me guide him closer to the fireplace. I wanted to see all of him in the firelight, and as I started to pull off his shirt I couldn't suppress the emotion and excitement that surged through my veins. I'd dreamed of this moment since the night at Locksley I had gone to visit him late in the evening, and tonight I could fulfill the longing and frustration I had felt since that night.
As I slid my hands up to remove his shirt I let my fingers and palms glide over his warm skin. I heard the primitive growl he let escape, and I raised my eyes to his face, finding him more handsome and more appealing than ever with his head thrown back, his eyes closed and his lips parted…yes, I made the right choice in coming back tonight.
Now was the time for both of us to enjoy this moment fully…
