Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I am completely overwhelmed by the response to this story. I was going to keep this for a few more days until ch12 is finished, but I'm super stressed at the moment (exam tomorrow - arghh) and I needed a distraction. There's no Deeks in this chapter, it's just a Jack/Kensi (Jensi? Jansi? Kack? Keck? Jacksi? Suggestions welcome, I feel like they need a ship name) scene. I've really come to adore Jack while writing this. I've got a bit of a soft spot for him. Hopefully you don't all hate him after this. Anyway I promise that we will get some Deeks in the next chapter. Lots of Deeks. Definitely a lot of Deeks - if you knew what I had planned you'd be smirking just like I am right now.

One of you managed to guess what happens in this chapter, so well done (you know who you are). There were a few other interesting theories too, and a lot of hatred for cliffhangers. I was also asked by someone when the major moment I mentioned in an AN a few chapters ago is (I believe I said it would be ch10). Due to my incessant rambling and extra scenes I've thrown in, it's been pushed back. See my above note on Deeks.

Anyway, please send me reviews so I can distract myself before my exam tomorrow by reading them. Cliffhanger question of the day: where will Kensi go?


Legal Love

Chapter Eleven

Kensi nodded slowly, her eyes drifting down to the table before meeting his once again. An air of impending tension seemed to hang over them. Kensi had questioned Jack about his absences on many occasions and he only seemed to close off to her in response. She couldn't shake the feeling that this admission was going to impact her life in a big way.

"Why now?" she asked softly. He'd been determined to keep the details his mystery disappearances from her thus far. It seemed strange that he wanted to share this with her all of a sudden. She wondered what was responsible for his change of heart.

"I've been thinking, about what you asked me, about the divorce," he began, placing his hands on the table. "I still don't think it's the right thing to do. I don't want to give up on this, on us."

Kensi was about to argue when Jack cut her off, speaking again. He needed her to stay quiet and listen to him. He had to get this out.

"I acknowledge that there are problems in our relationship, but I want to work through them. I know it won't be easy, but I love you."

Kensi's heart seemed to skip a beat at that moment, but not in the typical naive young love type of way it often seemed to be associated with. These words were not unfamiliar to her, but it had been a long time since Jack had said them to her with such honesty. It was a comforting and familiar feeling, like being covered with a childhood blanket and drifting off to sleep.

"What we have is special and I don't want to throw it away."

She remained silent, letting him talk. He was speaking freely and openly for the first time in months and she was hesitant to do anything that might change his mood. His words touched her again with their sincerity. She had no reason to doubt him when he spoke like this, and despite what years of a stressful and secretive marriage had taught her, she believed him unreservedly.

"I know that, if we're going to make this work, we need to be honest with each other. So, in the spirit of full disclosure, I want to tell you where I've been going."

He paused for a moment, taking a second to gather himself. He knew what he was about to say would either make or break them. He was hesitant to jeopardise the greatest thing he had in his life, but he knew she needed to know the truth if they were ever going to work through this. His marriage was hanging on the edge of a cliff, ready to topple at any moment. He just hoped it wouldn't fall and crash.

"I've been seeing a woman," he finally said, looking up from the table to see his wife's reaction. His eyes were somber and full of regret. Hers only showed hurt and betrayed.

"And by seeing you mean..." Kensi began, trying to comprehend what he had just said. A foolish, naive and optimistic part of her hoped this woman was a shrink he was seeing to help himself, but her more dominant and rational side told her this couldn't be true.

"I've been sleeping with her," he confirmed, looking down at the table in shame and regret.

It was out. Kensi pressed her lips together, looking down at the table in an attempt to hold back the tears. She'd spent many a long, lonely, sleepless night wondering what he was doing. Most of the scenes her mind conjured up involved him lying in a gutter shivering or passed out on the side of the road, lost in a large forest or being held at gunpoint as a common criminal mugged him. She'd imagined him beaten and broken, bleeding out in an alleyway. Her mental images had not been kind to him, or her. She'd cried for him, terrified about what might have happened to him and wishing for nothing more than to have him home safe. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined that he was in some other woman's bed.

"Why..." she eventually asked. It was perhaps the most cliché question she could have asked, but it was the only thing her shocked mind could come up with. She was still trying to process his confession. She'd heard his words loud and clear, but the full effect of them hadn't quite sunken in yet.

Jack faltered for a moment, wondering how he could possibly find the words to justify this to her. He couldn't even justify it to himself. She deserved better.

"Does she know about..." Kensi started, unable to finish. It appeared Jack had stolen her ability to create complete sentences. It probably lay crushed on the ground somewhere along with her heart.

"She knows I'm married, yes," Jack answered, wishing desperately that he could do something to cleanse the heartbroken look from her face and hating himself for being the one to put it there.

"And the other stuff..."

"She suspects that I've got something going on, but I haven't told her about my... disorder. We don't really talk much."

Kensi couldn't stop the silent sob that overcame her at his words. She looked away, pushing her lips together even tighter until it was physically painful. So it was just a physical thing. This came as no consolation to her. It still hurt like a knife to the stomach, or perhaps a gunshot to the heart. She reached up and used one finger to wipe away the moisture that was pooling in the corner of her eyes in an attempt to retain some dignity. She couldn't cry in front of him. She wouldn't let him do this to her, not after all he'd already done. She wouldn't let him see her fall.

This woman was getting the marriage she herself so desperately desired; she was getting Jack free from him demons. While Kensi remained at home desperately trying to give her husband the help he needed, he was out there sharing himself with another woman. She got to experience the Jack that Kensi had first fallen in love with, the handsome, carefree and polite gentleman she had first met. The one who took care of her, even though he knew she was more than capable of doing so herself. He was the one who would surprise her with a romantic gesture, no matter how cheesy or cliché. The one who captured her heart and promised to take care of it. He was the one.

It didn't seem fair that Kensi should only get Jack's troubled side. When she'd married him, she'd signed on for everything, the good days and the bad. In sickness and in health, 'til death do us part. She'd known that from the start and embraced it. Even when he'd returned from war a changed man, she'd never even considered leaving him for a moment. It was just a bump on their journey, something that they would work through and be stronger for it in the end. What she hadn't agreed to was inviting a third person into the marriage, another woman. She hadn't agreed to him giving the good times away to someone else, living them without her, and leaving her to deal with the tough times alone. This wasn't what marriage was supposed to be like. No one had told her it would be like this. No one had told her it would hurt so much.

"I want you to know that I'm breaking things off with Jessica," Jack said softly, reaching across the table for her hand. It was a gesture that was met with hostility.

"I don't want to know her name," Kensi snapped, pulling her hand away like she had been burned.

Jessica. This woman had a name. She was no longer just a woman; she was Jessica. Kensi couldn't stop her mind from coming up with images of what this woman, this Jessica, might look like. Was she blonde? Short? Tall? Kensi bet she was younger. Kensi wasn't, by any means, insecure about her looks. While she wasn't overly narcissistic about them, the number of ops that had been successful thanks to her looks and a fancy dress did give her ego a fairly healthy boost. But she still couldn't help wondering what this woman had that she didn't. What did she do that she, Kensi, didn't?

That was when her hurt started to manifest itself into rage. All of her previous guilt lay long forgotten, a distant memory from the past. Her sorrow was swiftly becoming buried under the growing disdain for her husband it was overcoming her.

"How could you?" she accused, standing up and pushing her chair back roughly. Jack knew from the fury on her face that that was the moment their marriage broke.

"Here I was feeling guilty and you..." she continued to yell, furious at him for what he did and at herself for not realising.

Jack didn't have time to question her on what she had to be guilty about. She was already storming off towards the door. She grabbed her car keys and walked out of the house without another word, slamming the door behind her. It was only when she was alone inside the confines of her car that she allowed herself to stop and think. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she had to go somewhere. She turned the key in the ignition before looking down at her hand. For the first time in the three years it had sat there, the wedding ring looked wrong. It no longer symbolised the undying love of her husband. It only represented lies. She roughly pulled the ring off and slammed it down on the center console, no longer caring what happened to it. It slid off easily with no resistance. She figured there was probably some hidden meaning in that, like if this marriage was meant to work the ring would have put up a fight, but she wasted no time pondering upon this. Centring herself with a deep controlled breath, she looked up to the road in front of her, preparing herself to continue on. As far as she was concerned, she was no longer married.