"Seems like everyone else has a love just for them,

I don't mind, we have such a good time, my best friend,
But sometimes, well,

I wish we could be more than friends"

"Breathless"
~Corinne Bailey Rae~


I slammed my fist into the pillow for what seemed like the hundredth time, flopped onto my stomach from my back and groaned. Sleep was evading me. Driving me insane. I hadn't had any issues with my sleep in over three years. Now here I am desperate for just one ativan. Something to take the edge off.

I stared at the digits on my alarm clock, casting a blue hue over my nightstand. It was three twenty six a.m. If I could get myself to fall asleep right now, I could get a good three and a half hours of sleep in before I had to get up for work. Somehow I doubted that was going to happen.

Instead of forcing something that wasn't going to happen, I grabbed my phone from the table and rolled to my back.

It had been almost a week since I had seen Bella, but we were in constant communication via text. I scrolled through some of our conversation from earlier in the evening and smiled.

What are you doing this weekend, B?

Was thinking of hitting up Pike Place market Saturday morning. You wanna go?

Fuck yeh I wanted to go. I didn't even try to hide the big fat grin that spread from ear to ear when that text popped up.

What time?

I wanted to be out of my apartment by 7:30. Early, I know. I like to drink my coffee and hit up the fresh produce. If that's too early for you, we can meet at pike place bagels for brunch?

I'll be on your doorstep at 7:20.

Dropping the phone on the pillow next to mine, I folded my hands over my chest and stared at the ceiling. I wondered if Bella was awake and fighting for rest. I had seen her bottle of sleep aid on the bathroom counter. Had she not been sleeping for ten years? Or was this a recent ailment? It broke me to think of her being alone, trying to deal with Jasper's suicide on her own. At least I had a good therapist and when I finally stopped beating the shit out of other people, I found that I really enjoyed the weight machines at the gym.

I wondered if she had put on a brave face for Charlie and Renee. Had she fooled them for so many years? Did she talk herself into being okay?

So here I was, ten years later, losing sleep over Bella Swan. Just like I had when I was fifteen and kept popping boners every time she was in the same room as me. I'm surprised Mom didn't question my request for a gallon of lotion. Jesus. I was real subtle. Over the years, Bella was still one of my favorite masturbatory themes. And over the last week, it had gotten pretty bad. I was in full blown gotta have it mode and not seeing her was driving me crazy. But would actually being around her make everything far worse? I didn't give a shit. I just wanted to see her pretty face and breathe her sweet scent.

I was turning into a complete pussy.

"Mother fuck." I grumbled.

I slapped at my clock and shut the alarm off. There was no way sleep was coming. I sat up in bed and scrubbed my hands over my face.

By four thirty I was dressed and headed out for a long run. Anything to clear my head. I ran and ran until the sky turned purple and reflected off the water. I was drenched in sweat by the time I made it back to my place. I could smell coffee brewing from auto start and made a beeline for the shower.

If I could make it through the few patients I had this morning, I might just cut out early and try to get some sleep. After a few years with no vacation, I'm thinking it's about time to take a week off and head out of town. I'd have to set that up. Soon.

~xOx~

The folder dropped with a loud smacking noise on my desk followed by a large tan, well manicured hand.

"Hey, Jake." I grinned when our eyes met.

"Great work, Bee Girl. As always." He half sat on the desktop. "Hot date tonight? Or are you free to hang out with an old friend?" He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"I am definitely free for you, Jake. If you give me a ride home, I can drop this stuff off and change and we can go from there." I shut down the computer I had been using and pressed the button to turn the monitor off.

"What did you have in mind?" I pushed back in the chair and hooked my bag with a finger from the floor next to my feet.

"White Rabbit? Food, drink, tunes." He stood and grabbed my hand when I came around the end of the desk.

"Sounds good to me, boss." I laughed at his smirk. "I have to be home early though, this girl has a date at seven thirty in the morning with coffee and fresh produce."

"Excuse me? A date with the market?" He laughed. "What else aren't you telling me, Bee?" He paused mid stride and looked down at me, awareness flashed in his eyes. "Ohhh, he's going to be there. No date tonight, instead you're going to attempt to keep things on the friend level by only seeing him during daylight hours?" He scoffed. "Bella, you already kissed him, saw him half naked and have done nothing but daydream and stare into space this week. You have it bad. Seeing him during the day isn't going to change that. You can't deny what's there. You're going to hurt yourself."

"I'm a big girl, Jake. I know what I'm doing. It hurts less if I keep it platonic, than if I let us get carried away and watch him leave." I pulled at his hand and we exited the small building. "It's better this way."

He shook his head, a frown marring his sweet face.

"Bee, I know you think that what you're doing is logical and will prevent heartache and loss, but you're just cheating yourself, and him for that matter. You're going to end up hurting not only yourself, but Edward as well. Don't you think that maybe, just maybe, you should give it a try?" I stared at my feet as we made our way to his car. His hand was warm in mine.

"It's not like I haven't had relationships, Jake. I mean, Ri and I just broke up... and.."

Jake spoke over me, staring me in the eyes while we stood next to his car.

"Bella. You know, as well as everyone else, that Riley was not even close to the right guy for you. He was a safe bet. Someone who you cared about, but would never fall in love with. Your heart was safe. You never gave it away." He held my face in his strong hands. "Don't run away from it, Bee. It could be so good."

I couldn't speak. I had nothing to say. He was right. I played it safe. Safe was good. No hurt, no tears, no fear of being left behind.

I nodded and he kissed my nose.

"Alright, enough with the heavy bullshit, get in the car, woman, we have a date tonight. I plan on getting you hammered and making you dance all slutty-like with me til the sun comes up." He held the door open for me and I sat , laughing.

"No. Not the skirt. Do the jeans and boots."

I groaned out loud as Jake forced me to change my clothes for the third time.

"Are you sure you're not gay, Jake? Because this is ridiculous." I pouted at his loud laughter as I walked back down the hall to bedroom stripping the skirt from my body.

"No, I'm not gay, and I think you should remember that before you strip down to your little pink panties in front of me again. Lookin' good, by the way."

I felt my cheeks burn and I slammed my bedroom door.

An hour later we were at a small table by an even smaller stage, sharing a Queen of Hearts pizza, guzzling local IPA and laughing.

"So I take it you're not getting a second date with her then?" I was laughing so hard at Jake's dating snafu that there were tears in my eyes.

He just rolled his eyes at me and finished off his beer.

"Seriously, Swan, I think you want this. Don't you?" He leaned over the table, an evil grin on his face.

"Uh-uh. No. Jake. I do not wantthis." I waved a hand in his direction for full emphasis, which he grabbed and used to pull me away from the table.

"Oh god, no. Noooo, Jake. I am not dancing."

He wrapped his hands around my wrists and tugged me out to a very small dance floor.

"I think you are, Bee." His hand pressed into my lower back and held me against his hips as we fell in sync with the music.

We paused a short while later for another beer, my fifth, and I was feeling pretty damn happy by that time. Jake had no problem with getting me to dance by that point. I really could not have asked for a more amazing friend.
I had just danced myself back up his leg from the ground, when he grabbed me and pulled me against his chest. His mouth met my ear and he was whispering.

"How available are you, Bee? Because there is a guy watching you from the bar and he looks very interested. Should I keep.."

His words cut off and he stood back up, swaying with me.

"He's coming this way, do you want me to let him cut in, or not?" His eyes flashed to mine.

"I um, what does he look like?" I didn't dare turn around. That would be way too obvious.

"Tall. Weird hair. Jeans and a tee shirt. Shit. I dunno. He doesn't look like a serial killer. He was with another guy and girl."

Before I could answer, I was interrupted by the guy who had been on his way over.

"May I?" The question was aimed at Jake, but as soon as I heard that voice, I twisted around and almost lost my footing.

"Edward?"

Holy hell, in all his sex-hotness, he was there.

Or was I just that drunk?

~xOx~

Emmett woke me from my late evening nap to inform me that I would be meeting him and Rose at the White Rabbit for drinks tonight.

I reached for my phone and answered without rolling over or opening an eye.

" 'Lo?"

"Rise and mother fuckin' shine, Buttercup! Get your ass in the shower. Rose and I are going out for drinks, she wants your pussy ass there. Eight, White Rabbit. Out." And he hung up.

I was on my second Men's Room Red, when I realized it was Bella that I had been watching on the dance floor with some giant dude.

She was wearing dark, very tight jeans and I wanted to get my hands all over her ass. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail showing off her delicate neck and she wore a thin black v-neck tee shirt that hugged her in all the right places. The black boots on her feet made her a full three inches taller than she normally stood and she rocked them like a pro.

I was supposed to just be friends with her? Jesus.

"That's her." I nodded my head in Bella's direction and both Rose and Emmett turned their attention to the tiny ass dance floor.

"Really, man? She's smokin." Rose leaned over and smacked Emmett in the back of the head.

"Shut up, Em." She glanced at me, "Who is she with? Do you recognize him?"

I knew what she was really asking, Are you sure she's not seeing someone? Are you sure she's not fucking you over?

"No, I don't. She's not seeing anyone. I met the jackass that was her last boyfriend." I rubbed at my chin and pushed my empty beer bottle away. "And we're not dating. She told me she wants to be friends. I have no claim."

I didn't miss the look on Rose's face. She knew. She knew I had already staked a claim on a woman who I may never be able to have.

"Edward, cut in. Get off your lazyass and do something." She poked me in the side with a long red fingernail. "Go, so I can make out with my husband without feeling guilty. Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll let you kiss her." She smirked and I rolled my eyes.

"Fine. I'm going." As I looked back, I watched Bella wiggle and swivel her hips from the floor all the way up this guy's leg and when she stood, he pulled her against him and it was all I could do to push the jealousy down and continue walking closer.

I saw the guy watching my approach, he was talking to her, his eyes glancing back down into hers.

"May I?" I nodded once in Bella's direction and she turned, wobbled on her feet and stared up at me like a deer in headlights.

"Edward?"

I smiled at her confusion and almost fell out when she wrapped her arms around my neck and pushed her nose into my throat.

I wrapped one arm around her waist and then looked back at the guy who she'd been dancing with. The guy who was currently wearing the biggest shit eating grin I had ever seen. Which made no sense to me, seeing as how he was just grinding all over her, and now she was wrapped around me.

"Hey, man. Nice to finally meet the Edward." He held out a hand, "I'm Jake. The platonic best friend."

So this was Jake, the guy who thought she should take a chance and let me in. I think I love this guy.
And I really think that Bella needs to stop rubbing into my throat and sighing. I could smell the sweet beer scent on her breath and I almost moaned. This whole, being friends crap was going to kill me.

"Nice to meet you too, man." I shook his hand as Bella pulled away.

"What are you doing here?" She stepped back and looked up at me. "I didn't expect to see you here." She bit down on her lip and then smiled again.

"I didn't expect to be here." I grinned at her. "Glad I came though."

I caught Jake smiling at the back of her head.

"Hey, so, I was actually just getting ready to roll out. Gotta be up early to finish some work. Bee Girl, you gonna stay?" He glanced in my direction.

"Uh, well, I don't want to put you out, Edward, since you're here with your friends and all."

I couldn't tell what she really wanted, but I knew what I wanted.

"If you want to stay, I would be more than happy to have your company and bring you home later."

She stared at me for a minute, chewing her lip, and then turned back to Jake.

"You're sure you don't mind if I stay?"

He leaned in and hugged her, giving me a discrete thumbs up behind her back. Who the fuck was this guy? He really gave me faith in humanity as far as good people go. He was willing her to stay.

"You stay, this Cinderella must be-bop his ass home and into bed for some beauty rest. I'll see your gorgeous face bright and early Monday morning." He kissed her cheek as she laughed at him and waved one more time before clearing their tab and heading out.

"Do you dance, Edward?" I looked down at her as she laced her fingers through mine.

"With you, yes."

I took a step back, and wrapped the fingers of my free hand around the back of her neck, dipping to rest my forehead against hers, I brought our entwined hands to her lower back and pulled her flush against me.

God it felt so good to have her there, pressed against me. Pretty soon she was going to be able to feel just how much I liked it.

We moved slowly to a heavy beat. Her eyes closed, lips parted, her warm breath caressing my skin and driving me absolutely mad with lust.

She said she just wants to be friends, asshole. Be careful.

My gaze cut quickly back to the bar as I realized I had ditched Emmett and Rose. I swept the bar three times, but they were nowhere to be found. I laughed quietly to myself. Mother fucker left me. Not that I minded. At all.

I stared at Bella's full pink lips, and before I could stop myself, I was tasting them with my own. Her mouth parted for me, warm and soft. I slid my tongue slowly over her bottom lip, earning a quiet moan, her hand at my back fisted into my shirt.
She sucked my tongue into her mouth and I almost threw her down on the floor to fuck her senseless right there.

As quickly as the thought came, it went and she was pulling away.

"Edward, will you take me home now? I need to get home."

She didn't sound distressed. Her voice was low and throaty and holy shit, was I going to get laid?

No. Asshole. You're friends. And not the kind that fuck.

"Sure thing." Shit. I deserve a medal of honor.

She didn't let go of my hand as we walked out to my car, which I took as a good thing. The drive was quiet though and she stared out the passenger window, every once in a while she would chime in with whatever song came on the radio.

I parked my car at her place and walked with her into the building.
"I guess I'll see you in a few hours." I smiled as I looked at my watch.

"Or, you could just, stay?" She stared me down, before turning and walking off toward the elevator that would take her up to her apartment.

Holy fuck.

"I get so breathless, when you call my name,

I've often wondered, do you feel the same?

There's a chemistry, energy, a synchronicity

When we're all alone,

So don't tell me you can't see

What I'm thinking of.

I can understand that you don't want to cross the line,

And you know I can't promise you things,

Will turn out fine,

But I have to be honest, I want you to be mine."
"Breathless"
~Corinne Bailey Rae~


A/N
Is he gonna do it? ;)