THE LARGE STORM FLOWS ACROSS THE SEA AND PULLS TO A STOP ON A LARGE MOUNTAIN. THERE IS A "DING DING" NOISE AND SIX FIGURES FALL OUT OF THE CLOUDS AND ONTO THE GROUND. THE STORM REVS ITS... ENGINES... AND DRIVES OFF.
PRUE: Was it just me or did that storm act like a bus?
FEEBEE: Nope, I heard the bus noises and the driver was rude.
PRUE: There was a driver?
FEEBEE: Duh! You can't a bus without a driver... unless it was magic!
HER BEADY LITTLE EYES LIGHT UP AND SHE CLAPS HER HANDS TOGETHER.
PIPER: Oh crap. Feebee has gone into happy five year old mode.
PAIGE: When wasn't she in it?
PRUE: Good point young Paige. Good point.
PAIGE LOOKS TAKEN BACK BUT SMILES AT PRUE'S COMMENT. PIPER SLAPS FEEBEE AND STARES AT THE COLD MOUNTAINS THAT SURROUNDED THEM.
PIPER: Oh well this is just great. Trapped up a creek without a paddle.
FEEBEE: We're in a creek? COOL! Maybe Dawson will be here?!
SHE LOOKS AROUND WITH AN ESTATIC, NO NOT SPASTIC... ALTHOUGH THAT WORD WOULDN'T BE FAR AMIS, LOOK ON HER FACE. SHE STARTS TO SHOUT.
FEEBEE: DAWSON! DAAAAAAAAWSONNNNNNNNNNNN! Where are YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU?
THERE IS A SUDDEN RUMBLING IN THE DISTANCE WHICH STEADILY GROWS LOUDER AND LOUDER. PAIGE LOOKS BEHIND THEM AND SCREECHES.
PAIGE: OMIGAWD! Look! She triggered an avalanche with her shouting.
FEEBEE: Ooo! An avalanche, does that taste like blamanche?
PAIGE IGNORES HER AND ORBS OUT WITH PRUE AND PIPER. LEO AND COLE SUDDENLY ORB OUT AND PHOEBE IS LEFT ALL ALONE. SHE TURNS AROUND AND SEES AVALANCHE FLOWING TOWARDS HER.
FEEBEE: Ooo! Snow! I can make a snow-angel! Maybe Dawson can help!
SHE WAITS FOR THE SNOW TO COME WITHIN A METRE OF HER AND THEN THROWS HERSELF INTO IT. SHE LANDS ON HER BACK AND WAVES HER ARMS AND LEGS AROUND, MAKING WOOHPING NOISES AND LAUGHING. THE AVALANCHE PASSES AND PAIGE ORBS THEM BACK IN. THEY ALL STARE AFTER THE TAIL OF THE AVALANCHE AND TRY TO SEE WHERE FEEBEE WENT.
PAIGE: Look, its all going over the edge of the cliff. I suppose Feebee went down there as well.
PIPER: Oh well. Better luck next sister I guess.
SHE GIVES PAIGE A THREATENING LOOK AND THEN HASTILY AVERTS HER GAZE. PAIGE SHUDDERS SLIGHTLY AND WRAPS HER ARMS AROUND HERSELF.
PRUE: Its like she hasn't actually gone. I swear I can still hear her voice.
PAIGE: You can here her voice! Listen!
THE SILENCE OF THE MOUNTAINS IS BROKEN BY MANICAL LAUGHTER AND THE SOUND OF SOMEONE SCREAMING "DAWWWWWSONNNNNNN!". THE SOUND OF ANOTHER AVALANCHE IS HEARD AND THE STRANGE VOICE GETS CLOSER.
PIPER: Ok, this is freakin me out. Paige, orb me back to The Manor. Now.
PAIGE: Wait a minute, Piper. Look!
SHE POINTS TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF. A SHORT WOMAN WITH A BAD HAIRSTYLE AND SCANTY CLOTHES, IS RIDING THE TOP OF THE AVALANCHE BACK UP THE MOUNTAIN. SHE IS HOLDING SOMETHING... OR SOMEONE, IN HER HAND.
FEEBEE: Piper! Look, I found Dawson!
DAWSON: Oh for the love of Joey let me go.
FEEBEE: Ok!
SHE DROPS HIM AND THEN JUMPS OFF THE AVALANCHE, WHICH WHIMPERS AND THEN CRAWLS BACK OVER THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF.
PRUE: Don't you ever die?
FEEBEE: I find it adds more comical value if I come close to the brink of death and/or get into potentially life threatening situations and then come back completly unharmed.
THERE IS AN UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE AS EVEYRONE PONDERS FEEBEE'S SURPRISINGLY INTELLIGENT WORDS. PIPER COUGHS AND STARES AT HER FEET.
PIPER: So... How about them 'niners?
THERE IS ANOTHER UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE. THIS TIME AN ALYSSA MILANO SONG IS HEARD FROM THE DISTANCE. PRUE SHUDDERS AND STARES AT FEEBEE WITH A SUSPICOUS LOOK IN HER EYE.
PRUE: What is that white stuff round your mouth, Feebee?
FEEBEE: Oh Prue, don't be a sicko. Its snow. I wanted to see if the avalanche actually did taste of blamanche.
PAIGE: Curse my morbid curiosity but did it? Taste of blamanche, that is.
FEEBEE: I don't know. I've never actually tasted blamanche.
PIPER: Then why did you... No. Just walk away, Piper. Think happy thoughts.
SHE SMILES AND THINKS OF HER TRUCK FULL OF MOTHERS. FEEBEE SUDDENLY SQUEALS AND RUNS TOWARDS A PATCH OF GRASS. THERE IS A MOUNTAIN GOAT STANDING THERE, MEEKLY NIBBLING THE GRASS. IT SEES FEEBEE AND SIGHS, MOVING TO THE OTHER END OF THE GRASS, DESPERATELY PRETENDING IT HASN'T SEEN HER.
FEEBEE: OOOOO! Little cute goaty-kins! Come to mommy!
PAIGE: Why isn't it running? I know I would be.
PIPER: Its only a goat, it probably isn't very clever.
THE GOAT LOOKS UP AND GLARES AT PIPER. SHE WHIMPERS AND STEPS BEHIND PRUE, COWERING SLIGHTLY.
FEEBEE: Come on Mr.Goat! Mommys got a present for you.
THE GOAT SIGHS AGAIN AND QUICKLY SCAMPERS OVER TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF. FEEBEE GIGGLES AND RUNS AFTER IT. AT THE LAST SECOND THE GOAT STEPS ASIDE AND FEEBEE PLUMMETS OVER THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF. THE GOAT "BAAS" AND THEN SCAMPERS OFF.
PRUE: Well.
PAIGE: Uh-huh. (JADE QUOTE!!!!!)
PIPER: Do you think we should go and find her?
PRUE: Why? We all know she'll turn up eventually.
PAIGE: Thats right, we might as well go and find Leo and Cole.
PIPER: Goddamn my husband. He's always disapearing with Cole. Where the Dickens is he?
SUDDENLY THEY ALL WINCE AND STARE UPWARDS. LEO AND COLE ARE STANDING ON A SMALL OUTCROPPING OF ROCK, DRESSED UP IN SWISS YODELLING OUTFITS. IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH THEY WERE WEARING THE FEMALE OUTFITS.
LEO: Yodelllllll-odelllll-eh-heeeeeeeeee-ooooooooooo.
COLE: Yodelllllll-udelllllllllllllll-udeeeelllllllll-iieeeeeeee-heee-hoooooo.
PIPER: Oh for AP's sake.
PRUE: Ew! Their skirts blow up when the wind blows.
PAIGE: I didn't know they were scottish.
PIPER: They're not, they just like to go commando.
ALL THREE SHUDDER AS LEO AND COLE CONTINUE YODELLING. THEY TURN AROUND AND HEAR A CLIP CLOPPING ECHOING IN THE MOUNTAIN. A SMALL GOAT APPEARS OVER THE EDGE OF A CLIFF... WITH FEEBEE ON ITS BACK.
FEEBEE: Yee-haa! Ride 'em cowboy!
PIPER: What is it with her and riding stuff?
PAIGE: Since Cole found Leo, she hasn't had anything to ride... so she makes do with what she's got. Whoever or whatever that is.
PRUE: Ew.
PIPER: Indeed.
FEEBEE: Hey guys! Look what I got! Its a goat!
PIPER: No shit.
FEEBEE TRIES TO JUMP OFF THE GOAT BUT TRIPS AND LANDS ON THE GROUND. THE GOAT STARTS TO CHEW HER HAIR. FEEBEE SHOES IT OFF AND GETS UP.
PRUE: Wow! Did you change your hair Feebee?
PAIGE: For once it looks really good.
PIPER BURSTS OUT LAUGHING AND POINTS AT FEEBEE.
PIPER: Oh. My. God. Your hair looks better when a goat has chewed it than when you've had it 'styled'.
FEEBEE: I dun good?
FEEBEE LOOKS CONFUSED AND THEN SCREAMS.
PAIGE: What is it?
FEEBEE: I just remembered something.
PRUE: What?
FEEBEE LOOKS SAD.
FEEBEE: I forgot.
PIPER: Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
PAIGE POINTS TO THE SKY AND SHIELDS HER EYES.
PAIGE: There's another storm coming, we should take cover.
PIPER: Where exactly? This place hasn't exactly got a motel anyplace close.
PRUE: We could try that cave, smartass.
PIPER: Don't sass me, bitch.
PRUE: You bring it on, bizatch.
PAIGE SIGHS AND ORBS THEM INTO A CONVENIENT CAVE. FEEBEE RUNS IN A CIRCLE FOR A WHILE AND THEN RUNS INSIDE. LEO AND COLE FOUND OUT WHAT HAPPENS TO CERTAIN PARTS IN THE COLD AND QUICKLY RAN INSIDE THE CAVE, SHRIEKING LIKE SCHOOLGIRLS.
GOAT: Thanks god they've gone. Bloody tourists.
A/N. Not sure if there is anyone to a/n in this. Um, Ooo! Read Steph's new story, the swan from hell. It rocks. And then go and read my other stories and then go and read Kit's and Kt's. Go on, I dares ya.
A/N. I still dares ya.
PRUE: Was it just me or did that storm act like a bus?
FEEBEE: Nope, I heard the bus noises and the driver was rude.
PRUE: There was a driver?
FEEBEE: Duh! You can't a bus without a driver... unless it was magic!
HER BEADY LITTLE EYES LIGHT UP AND SHE CLAPS HER HANDS TOGETHER.
PIPER: Oh crap. Feebee has gone into happy five year old mode.
PAIGE: When wasn't she in it?
PRUE: Good point young Paige. Good point.
PAIGE LOOKS TAKEN BACK BUT SMILES AT PRUE'S COMMENT. PIPER SLAPS FEEBEE AND STARES AT THE COLD MOUNTAINS THAT SURROUNDED THEM.
PIPER: Oh well this is just great. Trapped up a creek without a paddle.
FEEBEE: We're in a creek? COOL! Maybe Dawson will be here?!
SHE LOOKS AROUND WITH AN ESTATIC, NO NOT SPASTIC... ALTHOUGH THAT WORD WOULDN'T BE FAR AMIS, LOOK ON HER FACE. SHE STARTS TO SHOUT.
FEEBEE: DAWSON! DAAAAAAAAWSONNNNNNNNNNNN! Where are YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU?
THERE IS A SUDDEN RUMBLING IN THE DISTANCE WHICH STEADILY GROWS LOUDER AND LOUDER. PAIGE LOOKS BEHIND THEM AND SCREECHES.
PAIGE: OMIGAWD! Look! She triggered an avalanche with her shouting.
FEEBEE: Ooo! An avalanche, does that taste like blamanche?
PAIGE IGNORES HER AND ORBS OUT WITH PRUE AND PIPER. LEO AND COLE SUDDENLY ORB OUT AND PHOEBE IS LEFT ALL ALONE. SHE TURNS AROUND AND SEES AVALANCHE FLOWING TOWARDS HER.
FEEBEE: Ooo! Snow! I can make a snow-angel! Maybe Dawson can help!
SHE WAITS FOR THE SNOW TO COME WITHIN A METRE OF HER AND THEN THROWS HERSELF INTO IT. SHE LANDS ON HER BACK AND WAVES HER ARMS AND LEGS AROUND, MAKING WOOHPING NOISES AND LAUGHING. THE AVALANCHE PASSES AND PAIGE ORBS THEM BACK IN. THEY ALL STARE AFTER THE TAIL OF THE AVALANCHE AND TRY TO SEE WHERE FEEBEE WENT.
PAIGE: Look, its all going over the edge of the cliff. I suppose Feebee went down there as well.
PIPER: Oh well. Better luck next sister I guess.
SHE GIVES PAIGE A THREATENING LOOK AND THEN HASTILY AVERTS HER GAZE. PAIGE SHUDDERS SLIGHTLY AND WRAPS HER ARMS AROUND HERSELF.
PRUE: Its like she hasn't actually gone. I swear I can still hear her voice.
PAIGE: You can here her voice! Listen!
THE SILENCE OF THE MOUNTAINS IS BROKEN BY MANICAL LAUGHTER AND THE SOUND OF SOMEONE SCREAMING "DAWWWWWSONNNNNNN!". THE SOUND OF ANOTHER AVALANCHE IS HEARD AND THE STRANGE VOICE GETS CLOSER.
PIPER: Ok, this is freakin me out. Paige, orb me back to The Manor. Now.
PAIGE: Wait a minute, Piper. Look!
SHE POINTS TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF. A SHORT WOMAN WITH A BAD HAIRSTYLE AND SCANTY CLOTHES, IS RIDING THE TOP OF THE AVALANCHE BACK UP THE MOUNTAIN. SHE IS HOLDING SOMETHING... OR SOMEONE, IN HER HAND.
FEEBEE: Piper! Look, I found Dawson!
DAWSON: Oh for the love of Joey let me go.
FEEBEE: Ok!
SHE DROPS HIM AND THEN JUMPS OFF THE AVALANCHE, WHICH WHIMPERS AND THEN CRAWLS BACK OVER THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF.
PRUE: Don't you ever die?
FEEBEE: I find it adds more comical value if I come close to the brink of death and/or get into potentially life threatening situations and then come back completly unharmed.
THERE IS AN UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE AS EVEYRONE PONDERS FEEBEE'S SURPRISINGLY INTELLIGENT WORDS. PIPER COUGHS AND STARES AT HER FEET.
PIPER: So... How about them 'niners?
THERE IS ANOTHER UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE. THIS TIME AN ALYSSA MILANO SONG IS HEARD FROM THE DISTANCE. PRUE SHUDDERS AND STARES AT FEEBEE WITH A SUSPICOUS LOOK IN HER EYE.
PRUE: What is that white stuff round your mouth, Feebee?
FEEBEE: Oh Prue, don't be a sicko. Its snow. I wanted to see if the avalanche actually did taste of blamanche.
PAIGE: Curse my morbid curiosity but did it? Taste of blamanche, that is.
FEEBEE: I don't know. I've never actually tasted blamanche.
PIPER: Then why did you... No. Just walk away, Piper. Think happy thoughts.
SHE SMILES AND THINKS OF HER TRUCK FULL OF MOTHERS. FEEBEE SUDDENLY SQUEALS AND RUNS TOWARDS A PATCH OF GRASS. THERE IS A MOUNTAIN GOAT STANDING THERE, MEEKLY NIBBLING THE GRASS. IT SEES FEEBEE AND SIGHS, MOVING TO THE OTHER END OF THE GRASS, DESPERATELY PRETENDING IT HASN'T SEEN HER.
FEEBEE: OOOOO! Little cute goaty-kins! Come to mommy!
PAIGE: Why isn't it running? I know I would be.
PIPER: Its only a goat, it probably isn't very clever.
THE GOAT LOOKS UP AND GLARES AT PIPER. SHE WHIMPERS AND STEPS BEHIND PRUE, COWERING SLIGHTLY.
FEEBEE: Come on Mr.Goat! Mommys got a present for you.
THE GOAT SIGHS AGAIN AND QUICKLY SCAMPERS OVER TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF. FEEBEE GIGGLES AND RUNS AFTER IT. AT THE LAST SECOND THE GOAT STEPS ASIDE AND FEEBEE PLUMMETS OVER THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF. THE GOAT "BAAS" AND THEN SCAMPERS OFF.
PRUE: Well.
PAIGE: Uh-huh. (JADE QUOTE!!!!!)
PIPER: Do you think we should go and find her?
PRUE: Why? We all know she'll turn up eventually.
PAIGE: Thats right, we might as well go and find Leo and Cole.
PIPER: Goddamn my husband. He's always disapearing with Cole. Where the Dickens is he?
SUDDENLY THEY ALL WINCE AND STARE UPWARDS. LEO AND COLE ARE STANDING ON A SMALL OUTCROPPING OF ROCK, DRESSED UP IN SWISS YODELLING OUTFITS. IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH THEY WERE WEARING THE FEMALE OUTFITS.
LEO: Yodelllllll-odelllll-eh-heeeeeeeeee-ooooooooooo.
COLE: Yodelllllll-udelllllllllllllll-udeeeelllllllll-iieeeeeeee-heee-hoooooo.
PIPER: Oh for AP's sake.
PRUE: Ew! Their skirts blow up when the wind blows.
PAIGE: I didn't know they were scottish.
PIPER: They're not, they just like to go commando.
ALL THREE SHUDDER AS LEO AND COLE CONTINUE YODELLING. THEY TURN AROUND AND HEAR A CLIP CLOPPING ECHOING IN THE MOUNTAIN. A SMALL GOAT APPEARS OVER THE EDGE OF A CLIFF... WITH FEEBEE ON ITS BACK.
FEEBEE: Yee-haa! Ride 'em cowboy!
PIPER: What is it with her and riding stuff?
PAIGE: Since Cole found Leo, she hasn't had anything to ride... so she makes do with what she's got. Whoever or whatever that is.
PRUE: Ew.
PIPER: Indeed.
FEEBEE: Hey guys! Look what I got! Its a goat!
PIPER: No shit.
FEEBEE TRIES TO JUMP OFF THE GOAT BUT TRIPS AND LANDS ON THE GROUND. THE GOAT STARTS TO CHEW HER HAIR. FEEBEE SHOES IT OFF AND GETS UP.
PRUE: Wow! Did you change your hair Feebee?
PAIGE: For once it looks really good.
PIPER BURSTS OUT LAUGHING AND POINTS AT FEEBEE.
PIPER: Oh. My. God. Your hair looks better when a goat has chewed it than when you've had it 'styled'.
FEEBEE: I dun good?
FEEBEE LOOKS CONFUSED AND THEN SCREAMS.
PAIGE: What is it?
FEEBEE: I just remembered something.
PRUE: What?
FEEBEE LOOKS SAD.
FEEBEE: I forgot.
PIPER: Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
PAIGE POINTS TO THE SKY AND SHIELDS HER EYES.
PAIGE: There's another storm coming, we should take cover.
PIPER: Where exactly? This place hasn't exactly got a motel anyplace close.
PRUE: We could try that cave, smartass.
PIPER: Don't sass me, bitch.
PRUE: You bring it on, bizatch.
PAIGE SIGHS AND ORBS THEM INTO A CONVENIENT CAVE. FEEBEE RUNS IN A CIRCLE FOR A WHILE AND THEN RUNS INSIDE. LEO AND COLE FOUND OUT WHAT HAPPENS TO CERTAIN PARTS IN THE COLD AND QUICKLY RAN INSIDE THE CAVE, SHRIEKING LIKE SCHOOLGIRLS.
GOAT: Thanks god they've gone. Bloody tourists.
A/N. Not sure if there is anyone to a/n in this. Um, Ooo! Read Steph's new story, the swan from hell. It rocks. And then go and read my other stories and then go and read Kit's and Kt's. Go on, I dares ya.
A/N. I still dares ya.
