Disclaimer: Not mine. Last line doesn't belong to me either.
Dedication: To Jerails and HinaGuy749, both of whom who made me get off my lazy arse and write because of their wonderful and heartfelt reviews.
Italics are flashbacks
The Misted Glass of an Angel
"So what do you think of the arrangements?" I turned to Seta, who sat beside me. It was a delightful (Did I just say 'delightful?' Must be the bride talking...) day and it was me, Seta, Kitsune, Koan, Ai, Kanako, Mutsumi, Jiro, Motoko, Shinobu, Keitaro and Naru all out enjoying the weather in Central Park. The group of us was having a picnic. Really nice.
"Well..." Seta began. The look on his face told me all that I needed to know. "I don't disagree with the party...but don't you think having an engagement party is kind of...big?" Everyone laughed at his sincerity. I patted his arm comfortingly.
"You're the only child. Of course they're going to spoil you! I do understand what you mean though. An engagement party when we're already engaged?" I looked to the others in my group, all of whom were nodding in agreement, except for Koan and Kitsune.
"Don't you remember our engagement party?" Koan asked, shifting the sleeping Ai in his lap so that she had only her head on her daddy's lap. Kitsune rolled her eyes. "If you can consider it an engagement party." With that comment, everyone's interest was piqued.
"Did you have a watermelon fight? Jiro and I have decided to have our wedding in Japan."...Mutsumi was so random! Jiro had returned from his bout of confusion to propose to Mutsumi. They were already planning their wedding.
"I don't think I want to know." Keitaro murmured a little too loudly. Naru smacked him on his head and berated him. "That's so rude! Go on Koan." I think every female here was attracted to Koan in some way.
Koan laughed and swept his hair back. Man...if only Seta weren't here...WAIT! I did not just think that! "It's a funny story on how I tried to get Kitsune piss-ass drunk for the party. See, our parents didn't come because we were nineteen, in love and Kits was pregnant."
"We were what they called a 'disgrace.'" Kitsune added. Shinobu smiled at that. She knew what it felt like to be thought of as a disgrace. But she and my...no...our grandmother were all buddy-buddy now. Almost scary. Almost.
"Hawuka? How many people aw coming tho the parthy?" Kanako questioned. I screwed up my face but couldn't come up with a figure. Motoko supplied it. "Around two hundred I think." Eyes were wide as they all turned to look at Motoko.
"What?"
"Two hundred?" Kitsune asked. Motoko nodded. A few of the people there whistled while I just smiled and leaned back. "It's about time we had a big party. Our family needs one." I scooted over and laid my head on Seta's shoulder.
Life was good right now. I had Seta, I had a happy family and great friends in Koan and Kitsune. I didn't even have any doubts about my marriage. No pre-marriage jitters or any wedding planner like spasms or nervous breakdowns. I suppose that was because I had everyone helping me out. No one was scrimping and flaking out on me. Even little four year old Ai, who didn't know English that well was helping out. It was cute. Once in a while you'd catch her looking at Kitsune in a strange way, her tiny face calm but eyes wondering, head cocked to the side. I didn't know what Kitsune and Koan were hiding but I didn't want to find out.
Anyways, since Seta and I were having a normal (Normal? In New York? What's wrong with this picture?) Japanese wedding, all of the relatives from Japan were filtering in. That also explained the mass influx of kimonos the whole family was receiving. I would have to choose one for my wedding and around five others for my reception. I am expected to change many times during my reception.
On the topic of my grandmother, it seems that once she found the good witch Hina in her, Mr. Ueda worked up the courage to ask her out...if it could have been called that. He just came over one day and now they're talking about buying a house together in Japan. Kitsune calls it the Love Story of Ueda and Urashima.
My mother is doing very well, but having a tad bit of trouble with finding a dress to the engagement party. All the young ones violently (No one was seriously injured) protested to wearing a kimono to the engagement party. That just wouldn't have been right. So I was wearing a very nice dress as was every other girl I knew. As for the letter from my father and the ones from Shinobu's mother (Mom got one every month), Mom let us read them all.
"Well, I have to be off. My shift ends a three in the morning today Kits." Koan stood up and handed the sleeping Ai to Kitsune who took her gingerly. After waving to us once, he took off running, oblivious to the stares on his backside...hehe...oops...
Seta stood up and buttoned up his shirt (Nice chest by the way) and waved a good bye as well. I think he was just as ignorant of the attention his rump was getting. Kitsune cleared her throat, shook her head as if to clear it of the bad thoughts and then Keitaro and Jiro both stood up. Naru and Mutsumi looked up at their respective men confused.
"We just wanted to check to see if our asses had the same effect on you girls." Jiro nodded. At the glares that they were earning, the two backed off and began walking away, once in a while looking back to see if anyone was checking out their rears. No such luck.
Slowly, the rest of us drifted apart, heading home or back to work. I went home because the party was tomorrow so I had to get all my stuff out. I also had to help my overwhelmed mother and grandmother.
I reached the house to find relatives upon relatives upon relatives there. I put on a smile and walked through the crowd, going the all the cooing and tugging.
"I remember when you were just this big..." I don't remember you.
"You look just like your father..." I'm female, thank you very much!
"I think that you should dress more conservatively..." Would you like me to get my old olive sweater with burgundy pants?
"Look! She's glows like a bride..." Wha-? Where's the lamp?
"Do you need hints about what to do in bed?...." Sleep? Innocence is key...
I jostled, slithered and scrimped my way through the crowd before finding my mother and grandmother. With so many people helping out, they weren't doing much which wasn't a bad thing. Just surprising. I waved and gave a genuine smile before drifting upstairs and shutting myself into my room.
I was getting married soon. I lay down on my bed and let a blush and giggle float up. Oh gosh...
It was the next day and I was all fluttery. The parents (and grandparents) had decided that the bride and groom could only see each other during the times that the parents designated. So I would only be allowed to see Seta during the engagement party and then I'd have to go two weeks without him. Two weeks. I really was acting like a love struck, pubescent teenager. Gosh!
All the females from my side (The ones I was close to) were at my house, all getting dressed in their pretty dresses and having their hair and makeup done by Kitsune or someone else. None of us were dressed in those long dresses that reached the ground. Hell no. There was going to be dancing tonight so we needed to be dressed in dancing material.
"Haruka, do you have any bobby pins?" I nodded and sifted through my drawer before throwing some at Kitsune. Kitsune nodded appreciatively before inserting them this way and that into Ai's hair. The little girl looked adorable.
The others slowly filtered in, standing in a line behind Motoko, who was next to be done up by Kitsune. I was the only one not done dressing. Kitsune had come dressed from her uncle's across the street.
I was dressed in a red and white wraparound dress with no straps. It reached my knees and on my feet I wore red high heels. I had a thin white jacket over the top of the dress. Kitsune had put my hair half up and done some natural makeup. I looked good.
Soon the whole troop was ready. The guys filtered out of Mr. Ueda's house and the mass of girls out of my mother's house. It would take us around two hours to reach Seta's parents' house. But no problem. With so many people, we had to take three cars. We managed to reach the house just in time.
I entered first, followed by the whole army of who came from my side of the family. I saw Seta and promptly made my way over to him. The music was already beating and thumping. It was amazing. My whole family was already on the floor, dancing the night away...
Koan came over to speak with me and Seta. A few other people were apart of the group like Mutsumi and Sarah but they weren't paying much attention to the conversation. I think they wanted to dance but were too afraid to get out there and get their groove on.
The conversation with Koan was interesting enough. He told us about his work, marriage, Ai and many other things. It was fun. Kitsune was out there, dancing with Ai, who seemed to be finally convinced that her mommy wasn't going anywhere. Ai wouldn't leave her mommy now.
I didn't really think of it then. Of all the hints I should have paid attention to. They were scattered about but they were important enough for me to have paid attention to. They meant losing the life of one I treasured.
The song switched to a song just like the previous one. The previous one had everyone jumping and dancing with new force and passion, the likes of which only seen during weddings. Like I said, Kitsune was out there. She was out there, dancing with renewed vigor and dancing harder than she should have. Much more than she should have.
"So Kitsune was pregnant when you two got married?" Seta asked Koan. Koan sipped his beer and nodded. "Yeah. As much as I love Ai, I think it would have been better if we had waited." We nodded.
"Daddy?" That was Ai. All of us looked down at her and Koan bent down to her level.
"What is it, kiddo?" At that, tears began to form like gigantic raindrops in her eyes and her mouth hung sadly. "Mommy sleeping on floor."
What?
Apparently Koan knew what that meant because he ran. He jumped up and pushed his way through the crowd, not apologizing to the people that he pushed viciously out of the way. He disappeared for a few moments during which I scooped Ai up in my arms and began wiping her tears away. I mumbled incoherent nonsense to her while trying to comfort her. But then Koan came. It scared me and I felt my throat constrict, much like the day when the truth about Shinobu came out.
Kitsune lay lifeless in Koan's arms.
Without a second glance at us, Koan just ran out of the room, carrying Kitsune's limp form with him. Ai cried out for her mommy but then closed her eyes and began crying into my shoulder again.
The people, who knew the two, knew something was terribly and horribly wrong. Wrong enough for Ai to say, "Mommy going to be angel now?"
We all guessed that Koan had taken Kitsune to the hospital. When we reached there, we asked to see her. But the nurse wouldn't let us. Apparently tests had to be done on her right then. Tests on what, I didn't know but...maybe Ai would know.
"Ai?" I asked softly. She looked up at me. "What's wrong with your mommy?"
"Mommy and Daddy said I no tell." I nodded grimly. So what Ai had said the other day had been a mistake on her part. We all sat in silence for a while longer until a weary Koan came out. Immediately, the rest of us were on our feet.
And I never said that you had to abandon your family and shirk your responsibility. No. I think you should lighten up and think for once, how to live for today. That's right. Live for today because you don't know what the hell is going to happen tomorrow. You could die tomorrow because your body doesn't produce enough endorphins because of your lack of smiling, laughing.
He smiled as he came our way. The smile was sad. Ai wiggled out of my arms and ran to her daddy. "Sit down you guys." He said plainly. "There's something I have to tell you. Kits decided that it's time that you knew." We all nodded rigidly and resumed our seats.
As we headed to a small, discreet building, Mitsune looked at the street sign and commented. "Would there be hospital nearby?" I nodded. "The NYU Medical Center."
Koan sat in front of us, pulling up a chair. "Kitsune is dying."
Dying.
Death.
Die.
Dead.
We soon reached home, where Mitsune weakly handed me the bags and walked across the street.
Tears didn't come, as I'd expected them to. I just sat there, disbelief, horror, sadness, guilt and a variety of other emotions flitting across my face.
"Her heart is too small. That's the reason I came her to America. I wanted to find a cure here for her."
Mitsune continuously made trips down to the hospital, though no one knew why. When we questioned Mr. Ueda if she had some type of treatment she had to attend for, he shook his head. So why she went there, we'd never know.
"I thought someone would donate a healthy heart to her right away. Not true." He laughed wryly. "There's a huge waiting list here. And all the time I've been here, I've been trying to find a cure, anything just to keep her alive for a few more hours, days!"
"You didn't leave for the job did you?"
"...No."
"Then why?"
"I thought I could save you. From over here."
"I used the pretense of divorce to come here. I really did want one for a while because it was too hard for me to accept that she might die. I was real young, still am. In Japan, there were so many opportunities for me to go ahead but I didn't get a job there and I did in America. I wanted to be the breadwinner. But my wife was. Kitsune was and I was angry at her for that. But my wife was dying. She would become tired from any exertion."
Of course, Kitsune would leave everyday for the hospital. Why, we still didn't know.
"So when I came here, I began to work on finding someone who wouldn't need to be on the list. I was being selfish. I wanted my wife to live. Live and help me raise our daughter. I didn't want her to die. And then she told me about you all."
"Hello? Oh...It's already noon?" She turned to look at the clock while still listening to Mr. Ueda. "Medicine? Of course I've taken it!" She was crossing her fingers. "Why would I lie to you? I have taken the medicine!...Look, I have to go...Yes...I love you too. Bye."
"What is the medicine for?" Kitsune paused for a moment, contemplating how to answer the question. Then, with a broken sigh, loud, overemphasized sobs and a dramatic fling of her arm, Kitsune flopped onto the couch. "F-for my- y br-broken heart-t!!" she blubbered. I laughed at her dramatics and clapped my hands.
"You all changed her life more than you know. On one visit to see me, she told me that she'd be happy to die in your guys' company. I suppose you could say I was jealous. I just worked on trying to find her a donor. I would ignore her calls and anything of the sort."
"Ko! Please! I just don't want them to know...I'll come tomorrow...I could bring Mr. Ueda...Yeah? Okay. See you tomorrow...Love you too...Of course I take my medicine!!...Yeah. Love you too." Kitsune crossed her fingers and then she hung up.
"But then I realized how silly I was being. Here was the love of my life, dying, and I was too soaked up in my ego to realize that she might leave soon. She'd always say to me 'Life is a misted glass because you can't see through it. You can't see what's happening tomorrow. So live life to the fullest.' That's what she was doing while she was here."
"Mommy, are still going to die?"
"But when she was here she didn't take her medicine. She lied about that and that's partly why she's doing so badly right now. Kitsune isn't leaving us right now. But in the near future..." Koan sniffed. That's when I realized the tears streaming down my cheeks. It was supposed to be a happy day. The others around me were in varied degrees of sadness. We were all in denial.
Kitsune couldn't die. She was like a sister to me. I...I had to thank her for so much...
"Koan?" He looked up at me. "May I go see her?" He nodded and led the way. Everyone else followed.
The room was eerily silent except for the occasional rustle of the bed sheets and the bleeping of the heart monitor. It was slow. Extremely slow. I looked to the form laying on the bed and sat down in the chair. I took Kitsune's hand and rubbed it as comfortingly as I could. She turned to look at me and smiled. I smiled through my tears as well and then let out a little laugh while trying to dry the tears.
"He told you?" I sniffed then nodded.
"Sorry."
"No. No sorry. Will you be able to make it to the wedding?" Kitsune sighed.
"We're going back to Japan." There was a silence in the room after she said that. I peered at the faces of my family members and saw that their shock was just as great as mine.
"You can travel?"
"Yes." Her voice was really soft. Like if she spoke to loud, she would... "The list there is shorter and Koan knows some people in high places. If I die there..."
We all lapsed into silence. Ai was in her father's arms, her look of mistrust in her eyes again. Her mommy had gone and betrayed her again by falling ill. She was falling asleep. I don't think Ai was of that age to grasp the concept of death yet. But from what she did get, it must have been traumatizing.
"You won't die." Seta said. "In Japan, they'll find you a heart."
"I hope so. If I do die, you guys are coming to my funeral...right?" A huge sob ran through my body and I shook my head 'no.' She couldn't think like that. No way.
We continued the conversation until we could tell that Kitsune was too tired to continue. We had tried to keep it light and funny but the gloom of death just hung over our heads. It was extremely depressing.
Two weeks later and my wedding took place. It was a typical Japanese wedding where only close family and friends attended. That meant about thirty people at the wedding and two hundred at the reception.
Kitsune was there. She was pale and couldn't carry Ai. But Ai became her bodyguard. She wouldn't let anybody near her mommy without having her mommy sit down so she could rest while talking.
Kitsune's heart was weaker than ever. She said that even Ai had trouble finding the heartbeat. The heart was under a lot of strain and Ai was worried, more so that Koan. She kept asking her mother "Where did heart song go?"
The three of them left four days after the wedding for Japan.
Dhadkhan me kya raag hai?
Well I seem to have finally gotten into the groove of this story. Too bad there's only one chapter left! I've really enjoyed this story though at times I seem to have lost my spark for it.
Jerails- Your review is the one that made me want to continue this story. Without your review, I didn't want to continue this. I think that is why this is one of my best chapters yet. I didn't think that the last chapter was that emotional. After I reread it, I thought it was real corny. But thanks for your support! It made me feel real good and that's big. Thanks so much.
HinaGuy749- I do have peace with chicken grease ;) Anyways, thanks for your awesome review. It really meant a lot to me. I felt like Haruka needed a fic that focused on her and her layers (Onions! Sorry...Shrek.) So here it is! I hope you enjoy it!
