This chapter was supposed to progress a lot more into the story, but I got caught up in a Rysten moment, a flashback and some Kandy dialogue. Hope you enjoy it.

Kirsten thought about following him. She thought about running after him. She thought about saying something that would magically make this all better. She knew none of these thoughts would make any of this right.

Sandy was not the type of person that could be easily convinced of something when his mind was already made up. He had a strong sense of what was right and wrong, nothing deferring his original thoughts.

She remembered back to when she wasn't so convinced.

Berkeley was Kirsten's safe haven. It was the exact opposite of Newport, falling in love with it from the first day she arrived. Sandy had just left her dorm room after a night of unadulterated fun. There was no definition of their relationship just yet, but Kirsten knew she was falling hard and fast, something she never allowed herself to do.

Sandy was too afraid to express his feelings toward her just yet. He didn't want to push her in the wrong direction. Later that day, all his feelings came to the surface. He saw her on campus walking with one of the biggest scumbags to ever attend Berkeley. He watched as she handed him her books and walk into one the administration buildings. He couldn't help but follow.

He got close enough to hear the words exchanged. "Come out with me tonight. I only promise a great time."

He saw her hesitate, immediately followed by a smile. "I'll think about it, but thanks for the invite." She turned around to walk away, and immediately caught those blue eyes staring daggers.

She tired to explain that she was just being polite. She tried to explain there was nothing going on, but he wouldn't listen. His mind was already made up.

"Sandy!" She called after him, but he turned her back on her and walked away as quickly as possible. She caught up to him and tried to explain.

She knew from that moment Sandy was strong willed and once his mind was made up, it was going to be an unbelievably tough task to change it.

She knew at the time she could easily convince him to change his behavior, but after twenty years of marriage she understood his stance much better. Convincing Sandy Cohen of something he truly didn't believe in was damn near impossible.

So she let him go. She let him turn his back and walk out of the home they built together. She knew talking to him right now was not the answer. She knew he needed to cool off and re-evaluate the situation so they can speak to each other like human beings and not like hateful enemies.

Later that night, she decided she couldn't hide in her bedroom forever. Plus, she was starving and wanted to get something to eat. She made her way down the long hallway, as her slippers sounded against the cold marble tile. She wrapped her robe around her tighter, feeling a chill run down her spine. This house was so cold without Sandy in it, she thought.

Seth was in the kitchen, speaking to Ryan about some comic book reference that she didn't understand. She couldn't help but notice the expectant look on Ryan's face, waiting for her to disclose some ground breaking piece of information. Instead, she just smiled and opened up the fridge. As she pulled out some cold cuts, Seth's banter immediately chimed in to her actions.

"What's up Mom? No dinner at the Arches with Dad? No elite country club gathering? No Newpsie emergency to have cocktails at the Yacht Club?"

Kirsten just smiled, trying to ignore the weight of those words. "Not tonight sweetie."

"Where's Dad? He is really the sandwich maker of the house."

Kirsten didn't look up. She kept her focus on the counter. If she was going to lie, she was not going to look her son straight in the eye as she did so. "He had to go to the office for a bit."

Seth accepted that answer and started to exit the kitchen. "Going over to Summer's. Good night Mom."

She continued making her sandwich as she wished Ryan's presence would disappear. She didn't want to look at him either although she didn't have to lie to him.

"Are you okay?" He asked genuinely concerned.

She finally looked up at him and couldn't stop the liquid pools forming in her eyes. She tried to put on a smile to ease his worries, but failed miserably. "I'll be fine."

"Seth doesn't have a clue."

"What?"

"Seth. He didn't notice anything weird between you two this afternoon when you got back."

"You did?" She asked

"It was very obvious to me. Sandy looks like he is mad at the world so I have to assume to did go through with it and tell him." It was sort of a question that he already knew the answer to.

"We are going to talk tomorrow and discuss things with you and Seth tomorrow night."

"Oh. Wow." That was all Ryan could muster. He had no idea what that meant. He had a million scenarios rushing around in his mind. Who would live in the house? Where would he and Seth go? Were they going to divorce? Could Sandy ever truly forgive her?

"Ryan." She interrupted his thoughts. "I don't want you to worry about this. We will work it out and somehow continue functioning as a family."

"Even if Sandy hates you?"

"Yes. Even if Sandy hates me, although I hope that is not going to be the long term case."

Ryan thought carefully before he spoke, but wanted to get this out so Kirsten understood what position she was actually in. "I would hate you."

She looked up at him surprised, but when she saw the seriousness in his eyes, she wanted to put him at ease. "Thanks a lot." She actually gave him a real smile.

"He smirked back but his lips curved back into a serious mode. "I mean it Kirsten. I would. I know that is a terrible thing to say, but think about what you have done to him. And I am only telling you this so you realize how hard you are going to have to work to get him back, to get him to trust you again."

"Ryan, you don't think I know that?"

"No, I don't." He snapped back. "I don't think you understand what you did. I don't think you understand how something like this would affect any man, let alone Sandy. He is a man who revolves his whole existence around his family and you are the center of his family in his eyes."

The liquid pools came streaming down her face and suddenly Ryan felt like he said too much. "I'm sorry. I just want you to know what you're up against, so you can fight."

She wiped her face and tried to smile again. He smiled back and walked toward her for a hug. As he embraced her, he whispered into her ear, "Fight for us Kirsten. Fight for us to be a family."

He didn't want to make eye contact because he didn't want her to see the fear in his eyes. He didn't want her to recognize the look of disappointment. He didn't want her to see how scared he was to be in the middle of another broken home.

Later that night, Kirsten lay in bed, staring at the empty side. She hated not having him there next to her. Better get used to it, she thought. Her hands roamed to his pillow and as her hands felt the cold sheets touch her skin, she thought back to the last time she stared at an empty side of the bed with such uncertainty.

She and Sandy were dating about four months exclusively. There was another three or four months before that where they both claimed that they were just "hanging out". Occasional drunken kisses, casual dinners, trips to the movies, but nothing beyond that. Then things became a little bit more serious and they decided not to date anyone else. They started sharing interests and sharing feelings. Then it happened.

It was the middle of the afternoon. They were in his dorm room and things became heated. One thing led to another and they both found themselves naked, panting, coming down off a euphoric high. It was great sex, Nether of them could deny it, but it was so unplanned and so unromantic.

"You're absolutely beautiful." He spoke the first set of words. Sandy could make any scenario romantic.

They laid there for about an hour discussing everything and anything under the sun. He then abruptly got up and asked her if she wanted a bite to eat. She agreed, got dressed and they went on their way.

Throughout the whole meal, she couldn't believe what they just did. She didn't normally behave like that, but there was no denying their chemistry. It just felt right. That was what she kept telling herself anyway. They hadn't even discussed their deep feelings for each other yet, so she was worried.

As he walked her home, she wanted to bring it up. She wanted to discuss what happened between them, but didn't have the courage. Sandy was going along like nothing changed. He was so calm and so natural. It was irritating in way.

They said goodnight and he kissed her a longer than a normal goodbye kiss. When she went to bed that night, she never thought she would be sleeping alone the first time she and Sandy had sex. But here she was touching the adjacent pillow, feeling the cold sheets. She couldn't get her mind off him, worried that it didn't mean anything to him. The phone ring pulled her away from these thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Kirsten? It's Sandy."

"Hey." She tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"Hey back." There was a silence that needed to be broken and fast. "I just wanted to see if you were okay?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay with everything that happened between us. We never really discussed it happening and especially not like that. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with things between us."

She felt an immediate sense of relief. She didn't make a mistake. He was concerned about her, which was so sweet. "I'm fine Sandy. I appreciate you calling though. I wanted to talk to you about it all night, but I was scared."

"Scared of what?" What could this girl possibly be scared of?

"Of everything. Of the fact that it wasn't up to par, of the fact that this was not what you wanted, if I was not what you really wanted?"

"Now I am really glad I called. Kirsten…" He struggled with the words. "You are more than what I ever deserve. I thought today was great. It's not what I envisioned for our first time, but you make everything special."

She was silent. She didn't know what to say. She was literally speechless.

He grew nervous. "Okay, now I think I said too much. I'm sorry. I'm going to go now and you can pretend you didn't hear that last part that possibly freaked you out."

She smiled, loving his ramblings. "I'm not freaked. I'll see you tomorrow."

The ring of the phone snapped her out of that memory. Her smile faded as she was plunged back to reality and back into her cold, lonely bed. She leaned over to Sandy's side and answered the land line. "Hello?"

"It's me." His voice sent a chill down her spine.

"Hi." She missed him already. It had only been a few hours and she hated that he need to be away from her.

"I just figured I would let you know where I am."

"Sandy, please come home."

He ignored her. "I'm at the Balboa Beach Hotel."

"Sandy, talk to me." She was getting desperate.

"I wanted to let you know where I was, in case of an emergency. Did Seth wonder of my whereabouts?" Always worried about his son, not her anymore, just their children.

"Yes. You know him. I told him you were at work."

"I guess that works. I guess you really couldn't tell him that you committed adultery and I couldn't stand to look at you, huh?"

She felt terrible. "That's not funny, Sandy. Let's try to leave the jokes out of it."

"I wasn't trying to be funny. I was just stating facts Kirsten." He stopped himself from saying anything else. He didn't hate her. He could never hate her. He just wishes he did. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to say these things to you. I'm just so angry at you. This is why I had to leave. I didn't want to spend our days trading insults."

"I have nothing to insult. I love you Sandy. Please forgive me." Her voice cracked and he knew she was crying. She rarely cried, so he knew how much she hurt. It was tough for him to feel sorry for her when she brought this upon herself.

"I'll see you in the morning." He had nothing else to say.

She hung up the phone and started to cry, thinking that tomorrow was the first day of the rest of her upcoming miserable life.

Fight for us.

She thought of Ryan's words and knew she had to come up with a plan. She had a few hours before they would lay it all out on the table and talk to the boys.

Fight for us.

She wanted to fight for her marriage as well. She loved being married to Sandy and could not give up that easy.

Fight for us.

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The more I write this fic, the longer and longer I realize it is going to be. I hope you all have the patience to stick with it. Please review so I can get on with the next chapter. Sandy and Kirsten have to talk and the dreadful conversation with the boys is in the future.