Here's my little New Year Present to you all; a semi-quick update for you all.
So, these lyrics to "Bubbly" in this chapter kind are from Ryan's POV, if you will, though the actual writing is still from Troy's POV. Confusing, I know, but it just adds to the general fluff of the story, if you follow me :
R&R, as always, you know the drill. Happy 2008, everyone; let's hope it's the Year of the Fangirls, haha.
Chapter Ten
I've been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
I woke up the next morning, trying to remember why I felt so good. Have you ever had that happen; you wake up one morning feeling like the entire world is going your way, and you have no clue why? I rolled over on my side, wracking my brain for a reason—and then I saw it. Ryan Evans was tangled up inside our shared bed sheets, golden hair shoved up at a rakish angle, right cheek smashed against my ribcage. And he was my boyfriend. (A quick note on the phrase my boyfriend: isn't it a wonderful phrase? I could say it forever…. my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend….but you get the picture). To stay on topic, if a guy had to be gay, Ryan was the ideal, dream boyfriend. As we had started dating the previous night, I obviously didn't know how he was as an actual boyfriend, but he was the ideal person to be dating, you know what I mean?
I grinned to myself at the sight of the covers wound in ridiculous patterns around his porcelain body. How could he have possibly bound himself like that in his sleep? Sleep's fog still lingering in my mind, I groggily leaned over and gently undid the ridiculous covers, draping them over Ryan in a more practical fashion. He mumbled something incoherent and nestled his chin deeper against the sheets.
Not really knowing why I did so, I reached over and pushed the sheet in carefully around him, almost making a little cocoon. Maybe I did it out of habit. What habit that was, I surely did not know. Maybe I was a perfectionist, or had OCD. Those were vaguely possible, but I had never before that morning showed symptoms. Maybe I wanted to be a good boyfriend. Maybe that was it. I'll leave it to you readers to decide.
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
The first breakfast was especially awkward. Neither of us really knew what the other one was comfortable with or used to, and both of us wanted to get the whole thing sorted out immediately so that the whole relationship wouldn't go down the tubes. So, as it was Ryan's turn to place the dishes in the dishwasher, instead of automatically going over to the TV and immediately flipping channels as I always did on such days, I tested our comfort zones. I walked up and surprised my boyfriend with a hug from behind. He sort of tensed up, and then flushed adorably while trying to continue with his chore. So far so good.
"Troy, I'm trying to do the dishes," he muttered as I refused to let go of him. Hey, now that I was allowed to hug him with the excuse that we were dating, I was going to take advantage of it.
"And I'm trying to hug you," I said conceitedly, hindering him moving anywhere by pulling him closer to me.
"And if you don't let go of me we'll never get anything done!" he pointed out while smiling.
"Would that be so bad?" I really didn't feel like practicing self-discipline that morning.
"Our moms might get mad"
"Would that be so bad?"
"They might make one of us go with them on their car rides"
"That would be bad," I admitted, finally letting go of him and leaning back against the kitchen counter. "It's a tough tie at which thought is worse; spending a long day in the car with our moms or spending a summer day without Rya—what's your middle name?"
"Christopher"
Christopher. That was a really good middle name. Ryan Christopher Evans; it just rolled off your tongue, and had a nice, crisp sound to it.
"—without Ryan Christopher Evans on the premises"
He was tomato red by then. "You don't mean that." Right as I about to open my mouth, he completed the statement. "It would be a car ride with our moms, hands down"
We both started cracking up before he even finished saying the mini-punch line, knowing how accurate the statement really was. The only torture worse than stuck in a small space with talkative, middle-aged mothers was either Chinese water torture or hour-long Physics videos. The electric chair held nothing to our mother's mouths.
I walked over as I normally did to the couch and began to flip channels, seeing if anything interesting awaited us in the morning shows. But, unlike normal, once Ryan finished doing the dishes, he came at sat by me—right next to me. In previous mornings, we usually had about three feet of couch pleather between us, but that first morning I doubt if we had two centimeters. Not that I was complaining, of course. Who would? I mean seriously; who in their right mind would have turned to a guy like that and been like, "Hey, you are bursting my bubble, go sit down at the other end of the couch." No; you shut your mouth and hope that he didn't move away.
I decided to press my luck and casually put an arm around his shoulders, the other arm holding up the hand that was changing the channels. I really wouldn't have been surprised if he had pushed away my arm in surprised shock, but he only rested his head against it, eyes still intent on the images flashing across the flat screen.
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth
You really could tell just by looking at the pair of us that we weren't morning people. Without even noticing what the other was doing, we both began to nod off in the warm comfort of human beings and pleather couches in late July. I was the first one to realize our mishap, and gently shook my arm underneath his head.
"Hey," I said in an undertone. "You just woke up. Don't go back to sleep already"
"Urwerm," he mumbled incomprehensibly, lightly hitting a hand against my arm.
"Say what?"
"You're warm"
"Ry, it's summer. All of New Mexico is warm"
"I know. You're warm"
Warm is a very different word than hot. Hot falls under the category of complimenting someone on their body and is very sexual. Warm, on the other hand…it's either very innocent or very, very dirty. I like that kind of word. After all, I am only human, and a male, at that.
"That's good to know if it's wintertime, but as it's not, I really don't think my body temp—"
"Shush. Just watch the TV"
He snuggled a little closer, so I decided to follow his advice to shut up and just watch the television. I'm a weak one, I know, but if Ryan Evans was yourboyfriend, which thank goodness he isn't (no offense to you all), if he first told you that you were warm and then snuggled against you, would you honestly move? If you said yes, go seek counseling.
It starts in my soul and I lose all control
When you kiss my nose the feeling shows
Being an actor, it was only natural that Ryan was trained on how to control his facial expressions and hide his emotions. You probably gathered this from the information of Ryan's revealed—or should I say, unrevealed—feelings at the beginning of our time together. Trying to read his face was like me trying to reread my Chem-Lab notes; impossible in the greatest sense.
But now that had cracked past the outward shell, it was like discovering tons of pearls inside one oyster. He stopped bothering to put up a front, and got into the pleasant habit of just letting his expressions be real and take complete control of his face. It was absolutely beautiful to watch everything going through his mind race across his face like they were in some triathlon. When he thought something on the late-night TV was hilarious, he let himself double over and he gasped for breath between bursts of laughter. And I would laugh at him laughing, and eventually summon enough courage to pull him to my side and rest my head against his. He would suddenly grow quiet, and our hands would find each other in between our hips. I would quiet down, and look down into his glorious eyes, which were glowing. Leaning down, and taking care not to startle him in any way, I would lightly kiss him on the nose. I didn't dare do anything bolder, but neither of us gave a care.
When I pulled away from my small, but hopefully-meaningful show of affection his eyes would be closed, and his face blank in a blissful sereneness. Slowly, ever so slowly, a smile would creep over his lips and his eyes would open. Our heads were positioned so that when his peepers would open that our gazes would meet back up almost immediately.
What a summer it was turning out to be.
'Cause you make me smile
Baby, just take your time now
It struck me a few days after we started dating that even though we for a short time lived in the same house, we should probably go on a date; a real, official date, out to dinner and such. Of course, we couldn't be terribly obvious about our sexuality in a big fancy restaurant (there are so many homophobes in the world), but we could still go as, at the very least, "chums".
I asked Ryan what he thought about the idea the next night as we got ready for bed. He looked thoughtful for a moment before answering. Ryan asked permission to draw out a map of places for us to go after the dinner. Still having some sense stored up somewhere in my brain, I told him I'd be morethan happy to take a drive with him after dinner. In the movies, those things are always the most romantic. Who cares if it was all straight relationships in those scenarios? It's the concept that matters.
Dinner was slightly awkward, but neither of us had really expected any less, because, as I said before, there was a 70 chance (just guessing) that the people around us were homophobic. We just ate dinner and tried to keep our talk as casual as if we were just two best friends hanging out. And let me tell you, it's harder than it sounds trying to restrain yourself from telling Ryan how incredible he looks in his tight dark jeans, nice shirt and casual jacket, especially when he's self-consciously tugging at his icy blue tie that perfectly matches his eyes. At last, on the pretext of reaching over to get another napkin, I bent over across the table and whispered into his ear "you look amazing, by the way". I sat back down, and was pleased to see Ryan blushing brilliantly from my hushed compliment. He tucked a strand of hair behind an ear and smiled warmly at me, and I suddenly wanted to be in the movie "Click" and have the remote so that I might freeze him in the position he was in; shy, blushing, but grateful…and, above all, smiling.
After dinner, Ryan handed me a map where he had circled all of his favorite places around Albuquerque that we should visit. It wasn't a crazy, wild, care-free drive; we didn't try to hurry the affair, but merely parked downtown and walked hand-in-hand through the streets as we took turns pointing out things of interest to one another. Every now and again we had to side-step into an alley to avoid an untimely meaning with so-and-so, but that really only made the evening more exciting; the chance of being caught tends to do that to guys. One glance at Ryan's shining face told me that I was not alone in the thrill of going against the rules.
"Who would have thought it; Ryan Evans, a rebel," I teased him lightly, wrapping an arm cautiously around his waist. I let it relax there more affectionately once I saw that Ryan wasn't made uncomfortable by its presence.
"Who would have thought it; Troy Bolton, dating Sharpay's brother," he corrected agreeably, sipping at a small vanilla shake. It struck me as very ironic that about a month before that day Chad had been sipping a large, chocolate shake in a very different context…when everythinghad been very different. No, I was not thinking milkshake flavors in a racist and perverted way—keep your mild out of the gutter, sheesh!
Ryan gave me a look that questioned why I had grown silent, and I knew he was reading some of my thoughts; I had stopped doubting his abilities in that category.
"What'cha thinking about?" At least he was decent and pretended not to know everything.
I smiled, and craned my neck far enough down to give him the signature peck on the nose, rubbing his hand with my thumb.
"Nothing; I'm just glad you're here…with me…right now"
He looked into my eyes, and one his mysterious, unreadable smiles crossed his face as he cocked his head slightly away from me. That is, before he startled me completely by leaning over and kissing me quickly on the cheek, so fast that it felt like a butterfly wing had tickled me.
"I know exactly how you feel"
holding me tight
There was one night when Ryan actually woke up before the night terrors really got going. He was just starting to show the second string of tosses and turns when his eyes suddenly popped open, and he suddenly began to sob.
"Troy? Troy?" His hands were rummaging around to find out where I was in the bed. "Troy?"
"I'm right here, Ry," I said quickly, wrapping my arms around his waist and bringing his head right against my chest.
"I can't breathe…so much water…"
So it was the same nightmare he had had before. Only now I could hug him.
"I got you; you're not going to drown." He didn't seem convinced; he was still trembling and panicking. "I'm not about to let go, so you're not going anywhere any time soon"
I tightened my arms around Ryan, making sure that he was practically incapable to ignore the fact that I was indeed holding him. To my great pleasure, he finally grasped the idea and calmed down, inhaling and exhaling slowly.
"Emsery," he mumbled into my skin, causing the tingles to erupt everywhere yet again.
"Hmmm?"
"I'm sorry 'bout that. I probably freaked you out"
"Naw, just startled me a little, that's all"
He sighed, and relaxed in my arms completely. I felt like purring. I was so predictable it was almost depressing.
"You feel better?" I asked gently.
"Yeah"
"Want me to let go?"
Ryan turned so that his chin was resting on my ribcage, and looked up at me. It was the strangest feeling of déjà vu, for he had done the same thing earlier in the summer when we weren't dating. So he really had been awake then, and thatwas something to derive comfort from.
"Not really"
Wherever, wherever, wherever you go
My dad had signed me up for a week-long basketball camp the last week in July. I didn't want to go at all, but the money was already paid. Don't mess with my parents on money matters.
"I'm 17," he pointed out quietly the morning of my departure, looking slightly amused. "I've taken care of myself before"
"I know that," I chuckled quietly. But we both knew what I meant. For almost two months we had slept, ate, and practically lived together. At the start of the summer, Ryan had been a traumatized mess. But now…he was a little different, to say the least. And I wasn't really up to taking the chance that with me gone, all that might slip away; that Ryanmight slip away. I had caught him, and I didn't feel like letting go.
"The week will be gone before you know it," Ryan said with feigned happiness in his voice, but it fell flat on both of us. "It's only seven days; you'll be back early Monday morning"
"Yeah," was all I said.
A beeping horn outside the house meant that Chad and crew were ready to pick me up.
"I…have to go," I muttered, not moving an inch.
"Yeah"
We stood right next to each other like complete idiots with out hands at our sides in the front hallway as Chad, who was most likely at the wheel, repeatedly beeped the horn.
"Chad will be so pissed at me for taking so long"
"Probably"
"He might come up to the door, he's really impatient"
"He might," Ryan agreed.
I was holding a violent inner battle with myself. What should I do? Kiss him? But we seriously haven't been dating that long, and everybody knows that you don't kiss someone if you haven't been dating them for a while! My God, I sound like Sharpay. Lord help me. But seriously, what should I do?
Finally, I shoved myself into action and leaned in towards Ryan. He didn't move, but stood rigid, his eyes wide open and following my every move. Instead of kissing him on the lips as—judging by the look on his face—he suspected me to do, I kissed him gently on the nose again. When I pulled away, he was smiling again. I smiled in response. That would do.
One last tight hug and I was sprinting out towards the car full of impatient basketball jocks. Jammed in between Zeke and Jason, I casually turned halfway around in my seat for one final glance at my house. Ryan was still standing in the doorway, watching the car drive away.
"I'm surprised Ryan saw you off," Chad hollered back from the driver's seat as he screeched to a scary stop and the last possible second. "I thought he would be more along the lines of shooing you out the door and throwing a house party in your absence"
Only the back window saw my smile as I rested my head against my arm, eyes still glued on the blonde in the entrance to my house.
wherever, wherever, wherever you go
I flopped wearily down on a bench next to the court, resting my arms on my head, at the same time protecting my eyes from the bright sunshine. The week seemed to be taking ten years to pass, though a person would think the hours would fly by because of the unending exercise. But my thoughts, even as I was pounding down the court, were far from the normally exhilarating game of basketball. Instead, thoughts of what my little blonde boyfriend might be doing at home captured all of my attention. And I didn't have to be guilty in thinking about him in the smallest way possible; we were officially together. Too bad nobody else knew about it…
As you probably guessed, I hadn't told Chad and others about Ryan and me. I just didn't know how they stood on the subject of homosexuality, or what they would think of me "rebounding" from Gabriella with a guy. None of my guy friends were gay as far as I knew, and so the basketball team hadn't had the chance to show their feelings on the matter. I didn't think they would exactly go beat up the two of us or anything that crazy, but…I still didn't want to ruin the friendships I had had for so long. I planned to stake out the territory and test the waters.
But really, the separation from Ryan had hit me harder than I thought I was going to. I had never really been the kind of guy who goes crying after his mommy at his first sleepover. Usually I was a rather independent kind of guy; even when I had dated Gabriella I had never been particularly dependent to talk to her on the phone every single night or "clingy". Not that I was "dependent" or "clingy" with Ryan either…but I missed him harder than I had missed Gabbi when she went away on a family vacation or field trip or something. I felt like a wolf had come and taken a big bite out of me, and my body was missing that part. A big gap of me was aching for someone, and, even if I wasn't a scholastic decathlon member, I had brains enough to guess who the "someone" was. I missed Ryan, and missed him pretty badly. Maybe it was because I had spent every day and almost every hour with him, which I had never done with Gabbi for obvious reasons. Maybe it was just Ryan.
"Hey, earth to captain?"
I opened my eyes to look up into Chad's curious, familiar face.
"Hmmm?"
"Tired already, or are you ready to run drills again? Coach Tanner is giving us a look." He snorted lightly. "Or maybe he's just glaring at me for flirting with his daughter, the water girl. It's not my fault that blonde chick's incredibly hot, right?" He playfully punched me on the shoulder as I sat up. "Maybe if you come support me on this he'll give a little ground or something"
I gave him a blank look.
"Support you with what now?"
Chad seemed taken aback by my lack of attention and continued on slowly.
"On the fact that his daughter is too attractive, and therefore too distracting. I mean, the girl is hot, ain't she?"
See what I mean? Though he didn't mean to test my sexuality, Chad Danforth had done exactly that. I didn't think the girl was hot in the slightest, but I also didn't want to put down my best friend.
"Yeah, I guess so"
Chad grinned, and patted me on the shoulder, as if he knew what I was thinking.
"It's okay to check out other girls now, dude." I gaped up at him in surprise. "I know you were hurt by Gabriella, but y'all aren't dating now!" He waved his arms around in an encompassing move. "The world's yours to take, man! Go on dates, flirt, have a crush; the world's yours to take! Nothing's holding you back!"
Ironic, isn't it? I mean, really; my best friend was going on about how I free I was and how I should take advantage of the situation when in all actuality I was in a relationship…with a guy, none the less.
"Actually, man, I do sort of have some strings attached." There; that was a slight start to a confession.
Chad's eyebrows shot up into his bushy hair.
"Really?Who?"
I only gave him a knowing grin, and shook my head.
"Couldn't tell you"
He rolled his eyes, giving up at last.
"Some mysterious lover we'll find out about only when you two are passionately making-out in the basketball locker room?"
The knowing grin turned into a smirk.
"You could say that"
Oh wherever you go
The silent minivan drove up to my dark house.
"Do you want me to wait to see if you get inside?" Mrs. Danforth asked nicely.
"No," I murmured, a smile slipping across my mouth. "Ryan will be home"
"He might be off doing something," Chad said dubiously from his seat in shotgun.
I mumbled an incoherent dismissal of the idea and stumbled sleepily out of the car, softly thanking Mrs. Danforth for the ride and telling everyone I would see them on Wednesday for off-season practice. I heard the van drive away behind me as I slung my duffel bag over my shoulder as I hobbled towards my home. There were no people around when I rang the doorbell.
It took a minute or two of waiting, but as last the door swung open. And there stood my Ryan, in slightly baggy, but still tiny, grey sweat pants and a raggedy old Coca Cola shirt of mine, his hair still askew. I had woken him up.
"Hey," I whispered, dropping my duffel inside the door to give him a full hug. Not a manly hug that kept an arm between the two of you; my arms wrapped around his torso and his around mine, bringing us very close together. He said nothing in return, but buried his face into my shoulder, and I could feel a smile on his lips against my shirt.
I ran my face from his right cheek all the way down to his neck, and I saw out of the corner of my eye that his eyes were closed, a small smile still tugging at his lips. I felt a shiver of pleasure run through me as I realized I wasn't the only one glad to see my boyfriend. I inhaled deeply, rejoicing in his smell—I had really missed it. Letting my feelings take over for a moment, I ran my hand slowly up and down his lower back, my face still buried in his neck. I did manage enough control to keep my hands on the outside of his shirt. I heard Ryan softly exhale, and to be honest I was shocked he wasn't protesting my actions more.
I lifted my head out of Ryan's shoulder and looked him directly in the eyes. They were open, and oddly glazed over. Not an out-of-the-world or possessed-creepy glazed…but a look I never thought I would see in the eyes of Ryan. We had only been dating like a week and a half; however, if you counted all the days we had lived together and known each other, it was almost like we had been dating two months. Could I be reading signs right? I had not shown Ryan large, forward signs of affection only because I did not want to scare him off. But if I could read Ryan's eyes, and I could almost all of the time…I slowly leaned in towards his face, and saw that he wasn't moving. His eyes were closed.
My nose brushed against his, and I momentarily paused. In my mind, I was giving him time to pull away. He didn't pull away. Thoughts raced through my mind. If I kissed him, I would be officially, officially gay. Not like in-between-stages-when-you're-trying-to-figure-out-what-your-sexuality-is gay; officially gay. Or bisexual, whichever. A guy could always think about kissing another guy, and I had done plenty of that. A guy could ask out another guy and have the whole thing still be an experiment. But to go as far as a kiss another guy—that was big. I took a deep, quick breath and seized his lips with mine.
I think my brain blew a fuse. Every rational thought moved out of my mind as I felt Ryan press his lips back against mine, clutching my waist (to which all my blood was rushing) to keep from falling over as he leaned into me.
"I shouldn't be doing this!" a small voice in the back of my head thought in panic, trying to make me pull back. "Stop! What if your parents or Chad or any of your friends see you?"
I always know
In that moment, Ryan and I had to break apart for air. For a split second, we were back to staring into each others eyes. "Now's your chance, walk away!" the voice said. His sky blue eyes were still covered with that…glaze.
Seeing me pause for a moment, Ryan smiled directly into my eyes. The smile that made my knees turn to jelly. The smile that had taken me almost three months of constant attention to bring out. The smile with his heart in it. On that beautiful, blushing, bright, bubbly face of his.
"What are you waiting for?" the voice protested.
'Cause you make me smile even just for a while
"Nothing," I inwardly responded before leaning down and kissing Ryan a second time, this time bearing down harder, covering his mouth wholly with mine.
-heaves a sigh- So there, at last you all have your Tryan kiss. Aren't they just too cute for words? Even as I went back and wrote more cuteness, I can't help but just wriggle with the…Tryanness of it all. But don't worry; the fluffiness doesn't stop here, heehee. When you have a couple as cute as Troy and Ryan, you want to take advantage of it.
The reason I made Ryan's middle name Christopher is probably because of the movie "Father Goose". In it, Cary Grant plays a character named Walter Christopher Eckland. See how the two names sound alike? So in my mind, Ryan Christopher Evans automatically sounds good, haha.
It's actually kind of funny; when I originally wrote the milkshake part of the story, it was only when I reread that part I was like "oh god, that soundsreally bad" and had a giggle-fit, during which my homophobic/innocent mom walked in and I had to slam the laptop shut. Milkshake is such a great word :
