This is my first attempt at writing a long Harry Potter fic. I do not own JK Rowling's characters. This will follow cannon loosely. I have a weird sense of humor, so sorry if you are not amused. I welcome all reviews and comments. Thanks for reading and for your comments.
Harry will now be referred to as Rhys and Snape is now Sebastian.
Albus Dumbledore POV
I was in hell, well not real hell I suppose, but these healers would not just accept that I was fine. I am Albus Dumbledore and I have more important things to do than to spend two days under their care for observational purposes. I had almost convinced them to let me go when I had that flaming flatulence. I could not explain that or the boils that spelled goat lover on my forehead.
It was times like these that I missed Severus. When I told them to contact Minerva to come and get me as the healers insisted that I needed to be watched through the night, she was not available. I know that she sometimes visited her family, but she always came when I called. I had owled everyone I could think of until finally my surly brother showed up. He just stood there glaring at me.
"What is wrong with you, Albus?" I opened my mouth to respond and a cloud of green gas escaped and spelled 'I lie with every twinkle of my eyes.' Wow. Aberforth laughed and sat down to watch me in case something else happened.
"Things like this have been occurring since your brother was brought in yesterday, Mr. Dumbledore. We have found a number of potions in his system and a few we cannot identify. Your brother needs a detoxifying draught, but he refuses to drink it." Aberforth whipped out his wand and used a spell my mother taught him to force feed me the potion. I gagged and retched but nothing came up. The healer gasped and my brother smirked.
"Well, well, well. It seems that your beard is not really that long, huh Albus? What is the deal with that mustache? You look like a villain."
I picked up the mirror by my bedside and looked at my reflection. My beard was now a goatee and I had a curled mustache. My hair was short as well. I no longer looked wise. I looked shifty. My eyes! The twinkle was gone and my eyes were back to their normal boring blue appearance.
I flopped back onto the bed deep in thought. Maybe I could obliviate the healer. Laughter broke my thoughts and I opened my eyes to see a crowd of nurses and healers taking pictures of me. Great. This would be in the Prophet for sure.
"Can we just leave, Aberforth?" He grinned at me and posed for more pictures. His beard was real. I hate him.
"Sure thing, Albus. Here are your wands." I opened the box and took out the two wands there. Where was the Elder wand? I looked at my brother, but he was giving an interview.
"Healer Stanley, where is my other wand?" I kept my voice as normal as possible. Was she a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff? I am mostly sure it was Hufflepuff.
"Sir, these are the wands you came here with. No one but you could open the box. We charm them that way for security purposes." But, I had my wand when I went to see Amelia. Maybe she has it. I have to get out of here. I rush through signing the parchments and I agree to stay off any other potions for the next month unless it was for health purposes and I allow my brother to lead me out of St. Mungo's.
Back in my office, I try to floo call Amelia, but nothing happens. A note is passed through the floo that advises me to contact Corvus Harris to make an appointment with the minister and to have a pleasant day. I growl and floo call this young upstart. He answers the floo from an armchair and he has a muggle notepad.
"Hello, Headmaster. I see you have a new look that you are debuting. It is refreshing to see older wizards like yourself keeping it real. As a member of the Wizengamot, have you sworn your oath?"
What was this boy nattering on about? I just looked at him in question and he sent another paper through the floo. I read it and found it to be balderdash. I signed the line refusing to take the oath and I felt a tingle run through my body. What was that? I looked at Harris and he was busy making notes.
"That is your choice of course, Headmaster. Your things will be sent to you since you are no longer Head of the Wizengamot. Was there anything else you needed today, sir?"
"Young man, I did not resign as Chief Warlock." He hums at me and frowns.
"Yes, but you did. In order to work for the Ministry, you must swear the oath. Failure to do so results in losing your job. It was right there in the fine print, sir. I am sure that Madam Longbottom will be a just and fair replacement for you. Have a good day!" I yell at him to stop.
"I need an appointment with the minister as soon as possible. Also, my wand had gone missing and her office was the last place I had it. Please inform her that I would like it returned to me." He tsked at me.
"Headmaster, the minister's office has anti-theft charms. Your property was returned to you. I left both wands with the healers myself, I assure you." This boy is making me angry with his pleasant demeanor.
"I had three wands, young man. Surely you can count to three?" I give him my benevolent look. He smirks at me.
"Our wand boxes are linked to Gringott's for security purposes. It would seem that one of the wands did not belong to you, but it was a lost heirloom of an ancient family. Gringott's returned it to their vault as per policy. Is that the wand you are talking about, Headmaster?" I want to curse this meddling fool!
I clear my throat. "I may have been mistaken, young man. About that appointment?" He checks his notes.
"I can fit you in next Wednesday at 10 am, Headmaster." I growl. That was a week away!
"Fine, I will take that appointment." He cheerfully updates his notes and a new note flies out of the floo for me confirming the appointment. He waves and disconnects the floo. When did young people get so disrespectful? I still need a new DADA teacher and I have to find Harry Potter! Where can that boy be?
Ginny Weasley POV
I stared at the headlines in the Daily Prophet. There were more stories about how Harry Potter was not coming back to Hogwarts and how Sirius Black started the Lily Flower Foundation. Whatever. I slammed the paper down and glared at my mother. All she does is cook and sew and eat. Ron is really her son.
"Mum, you said that this year Harry Potter would be mine! Now no one knows where he is and I want a boyfriend! I deserve to go on dates. It is boring just hanging around this house all day!" She tries to hug me, but I step away from her. Who needs to be smothered into that great bossom?
"Now, Ginny dear, you have to be patient. I am sure that Harry will come to Hogwarts this fall and you can start making him jealous. You can date some of his yearmates so he will notice you. If that does not work, let me know. You will then have to use the method I used to get your father to notice me. I will send you a mild love potion." Wow, really? I wonder if she still uses it on him because she is all kinds of fat.
"Harry will fall in love with you and then you can let him wine and dine you and buy you gifts. Doesn't that sound nice? And then, we can get him to sign a marriage contract and even if he dies, half of his vaults will go to you."
Well, it does sound like a nice plan. "So, can I date Dean?" She looked puzzled.
"He is one of Harry's roommates, Mum." She smiles and nods and I run off to the floo.
Ron Weasley POV
I came down from reading my magazines to get something to eat. I am starving! I am still mad that Fred and George get to live in a nice house in Hogsmeade and I have to stay here with Mum and Ginny. I had gone to visit them and they would not let me inside. They said their house elf took care of the place and that they had friends to visit. I was left standing outside on their porch while they were popped away.
Maybe being the only son to still live at home had its perks. At least I can have all of the food I want because I am a growing boy, but Ginny was hogging the floo. While I ate, I asked Mum if she could help me to meet someone.
"Dear, is there a girl that you really like?" Yes!
"I like the veela, Mum. Make her like me back." She shakes her head.
"Ronald, dear, I really do not think that you should bother Fleur. She is not from here anyway. What about Hermione? She even helps you with your homework and I heard that she looks nice when she tries to fix herself up." I thought about it and figured it couldn't hurt. Plus, if Harry likes her, I can rub it in his four eyed face! Yes, that would be a good thing.
"Okay, Mum. Will you help me to write her a letter? I know she goes on a trip every summer with her muggle parents, but I could invite her to stay the last week of summer, yeah?" She smiles and gives me another bowl of stew. I could live at this table!
"Of course, dear. I will help you in any way I can. Do you think that you will try out for the quidditch team this year?" I smiled at Mum. She is so nice to remember that I want to be on the team.
"No, Mum. Harry did not have to try out. I will just let the team see me flying and they will come to me and insist that I join. It is all a part of my plan, you see?" She kisses my cheek.
"That is why you are mummy's special little boy, Ronald. That is a good plan. Now, I spoke with the headmaster and I am not sure that you will become a prefect, dear, but do not worry. You won't have to deal with the first years. That will be less work for you."
Maybe she had a point. I only want to be a prefect if Harry does not get it, and then I can brag about it. I really cannot stand him and he has no idea. He is really stupid. I allow my mum to feed me another helping of stew, but I save room for dessert. I just love her rhubarb pie!
Ginny Weasley POV
I had fixed my hair so it looked especially shiny against my jumper. I smiled a smile that I had practiced and settled in front of the floo. I contact Dean and he answers looking distracted.
"Hi, Dean. I was wondering if you wanted to meet me in Diagon Alley? We could go for ice cream if you'd like?" I would let him watch me lick an ice cream cone. The girls in the dorms said boys liked that.
"Sorry, Ginny. I can't do that. I have a girlfriend, you see. I wonder whether Katie would like some ice cream now that you bring it up. See you!" He disconnected. How dare that half-blood! He should have been thrilled to go out with me! No matter.
I called Michael Corner. He had seemed friendly. He smiled when he answered the floo. "Hi there, Ginny. How is your family doing?" I fluttered my eyelashes at him.
"They are fine, Michael. I wanted to know if you would meet me in Diagon Alley? We could have some fun." I winked at him and he winced.
"Sorry, Ginny, but I am spending the day with Mandy. We are going out! Have a good day." He disconnected the floo as well. What was it with these boys? I tried four more boys and they all turned me down. How could this be happening?
I wrote a letter to that creepy Colin Creevy and waited an hour for a reply. He wrote that he was dating someone already. I burned the letter. Even Creepy Creevy who followed Harry Potter around like a stalker had a girlfriend?
There was no one else for me to contact. Oh! I could try Neville Longbottom. His parents were cured now and he would be almost as popular as Harry! I tried to floo him and Susan Bones answered the floo. She stared at me and raised her eyebrow. What was she wearing? I could see her legs!
"So sorry, Susan. I seem to have flooed your home by mistake. I was trying to contact Neville." She rolled her eyes at me.
"Ginny, this is Neville's house. What did you want with him?" She gives me a mean look.
"I wanted to invite him for ice cream and to spend time together if you must know, Susan. Is he tutoring you in Herbology or something? Does you aunt know you are dressed so scandalously?" She laughs.
"Miss Weasley, Neville and I have a marriage contract and my Aunt Amelia is well aware of my wardrobe. Maybe you should worry about your own clothes. This is the summer time, you know. Anyway, Neville and I have plans today, so he will not be spending any time with you. Have a good day now."
She closed the floo and I sat there and fumed. She has a marriage contract with Neville? He went to the ball with me! Of course, I only danced with him once and I passed the rest of the evening staring at Harry, but still. This was so unfair! I did not really want to date him, but who was left? Seamus Finnegan? Sighing heavily, I sent him a letter. He had to day yes.
How will I be known as the most popular girl in my year if none of the boys wanted to date me? Maybe I should take off this jumper? Mum gets so cross when we don't wear the things she makes for us. I cannot believe I am stuck in the house with Ron for company. All he wants to do is eat and read quidditch magazines. Even Loony Luna was not at home. I hate my life.
