And there it was again, that unexpected boldness that Lucien found so very intoxicating. He'd thought he was better prepared this time. But of course, Jean was still so full of wonderful surprises. He couldn't help but grin excitedly.
Jean's heart began to race as she realized what she'd said. What she'd agreed to. Having Lucien watch her as she undressed. What did he expect? Should she try to be...sexy? Such artifice was as foreign to Jean as that Chinese silk dressing gown Lucien sometimes wore. The realization that her fiancé had likely experienced some extremely exotic things hit her full force. She knew that, of course. That fact was forefront of her mind when she'd asked for these lessons; he knew and had experienced so much more than she, and Jean didn't want to begin their marriage feeling left behind and inadequate. His level of experience had been an abstract concept to her until now, a fact that contained little detail in her mind.
But that was precisely what she was here for. Jean was here to learn, to benefit from all Lucien knew. And he himself had pointed out that he was learning from her too, learning her body and what she liked and how to please her. He was learning that as Jean learned it about herself.
And so now, Jean would help him learn about her. She would not make any grand show of it. She would merely take off her clothes, as though she were about to get in the bath or change into her nightgown. And Lucien would see how she did it, how she treated her own body when she was left to her own devices. Knowing that he was watching her have her a thrill, not of eroticism, but of deep intimacy. This was a level of comfort and knowing that came from being married. And Jean found it rather comforting to let Lucien in on such a thing now.
He watched her closely, carefully, hungrily as she first unzipped the back of her skirt and pulled her blouse out from where it was tucked in. Her nimble fingers didn't shake or falter once as she undid all the little buttons. Lucien himself felt like he might be shaking slightly. His chest was feeling rather tight, as were his trousers. Watching her expose her silk slip, push the blouse off her shoulders, slide the skirt down her hips, Lucien was distinctly reminded of just a few days before when he had undressed her for the first time. The delights of her body revealed to him in this manner were tantalizingly beautiful.
Jean did her best to ignore the way he was looking at her, the awed expression of his face and the darkness of his hungry eyes. Thinking about it too much would make her uneasy, putting herself on display for him like this. Part of her wanted to break this tension-filled silence, but what would she say? And would her voice even work? For the moment, her breathing felt a bit labored as she tried to keep herself steady.
When she stepped out of her shoes and put one stockinged foot on the edge of his bed, exposing the exquisite curve of her thigh, Lucien thought he might pass out. The simple act of watching Jean unclip her stockings and roll them down one by one, lacking any and all intent beyond simply removing them, was more than he had been prepared for. Because Jean wasn't at all stripping down to entice him—not that she'd need to try too hard—but she was instead just taking off her clothes as though he weren't there. And that in and of itself was a wonder to behold.
She was going to be his wife. His wife! This marvelous woman was going to marry him. How awfully lucky he was.
Jean did her best to keep her eyes averted from his as she pulled her slip over her head and rid herself of her bra and knickers. It was a rather inelegant thing, unclipping things and bending over to remove everything; she wasn't quite certain how to make it alluring. That wasn't the purpose of what she was doing, of course, but it was difficult to pretend Lucien wasn't there. His presence was always keenly felt by her, even from the beginning. She briefly realized that he must have had to work very hard to be a spy all those years ago. Jean couldn't imagine Lucien Blake being inconspicuous anywhere, his broad frame and brilliant grin and boisterous manner and attractive features. Jean certainly always noticed him.
"Right," she finally said, once she was naked and standing before him.
Lucien let out a slow breath as he eyed her up and down. He couldn't help it. It may have only been a few days since he last saw her, but he was in no way used to her beauty yet. "I didn't think I could believe in miracles," he muttered, mostly to himself.
But Jean heard him and looked at him sharply. "Sorry?"
Now, of course, he had to explain. "You. Here, like this, must be a blessed miracle."
Jean wasn't used to Lucien using such language. Perhaps once it might have warmed her heart, but it had quite the opposite effect on her now. "Are you calling my nudity a miracle from God?"
"Honestly I'm not sure how else to explain it."
"It was no great divine wonder, Lucien, you watched me undress," she snapped.
He chuckled, "No, I mean all of it. Your beautiful body, Jean, my god, but also the…the care and bravery and brilliant shine of everything about you. I'm perhaps not explaining myself properly. I just mean that I love you, and I cannot possibly say how much I appreciate that we can share all this."
Jean nodded, not trusting herself to say any more. Strange, that he should find their rather naughty and sinful lessons to be a miracle. It was only because Jean chose to turn her back on the Church that any of this was possible. But perhaps Lucien was right, in a way, perhaps even without the Church, God still found a way to smile upon her and bring her here to this man. That was what she chose to believe, anyway. The depth and power of her love for this man couldn't possibly be explained any other way, to her mind.
"Now, if you're ready, we can get started."
She nodded again.
Lucien instructed, "Up on the bed. On top of the duvet. Sit comfortably." She did as she was told and arranged herself leaning back against the pillows. "Yes, that's it." Lucien turned away and got something from the top drawer of his dresser. He held out one of his silk neckties. "And now to tie this over your eyes."
