a/n: I said Tuesday, and by gum I'll make it happen on Tuesday. (Did I just say 'by gum'?)

Thanks to AZBella again. Without her, I think this chapter might be like three words long. Those three words: "This sucks. Yeah."

Thank you to the lovelies at [t20s]. I can't really thank them enough for the enthusiasm. Keeps me going.

Thanks to the reviewers again! OME you guys...you're like the bestest ever. (I ran out of eloquence a long time ago.)

Thanks always to the lovely, hard-working crew of Project Team Beta for helping me edit to a second draft.

And on with the show. Today I am Team Jasper.


Chapter 11

"We just wanted to talk," Bella said.

It was one of those life-altering moments. (Life-ending?) Maybe not the kind that people usually have, but I knew it would change me nonetheless. Here I was, standing in my living room doorway, looking across Aunt Madison's small living room to a couple of vampires who wanted to have a little "chat" with me.

I seemed to be doing a lot of chatting with vampires lately. Probably a lot more than was healthy.

Bella looked over at Edward. Who gets to break the news? Ethan, we're here to have you for dinner.

He nodded at her.

"We wanted to ask you what you know. About us…" she said.

"About…what we are," he said.

So they knew that I knew. Even more reason to kill me dead. Great.

I took the chair across from them. It was one of those wooden ones with the giant springy cushions. Aunt Madison had reupholstered it recently – pink with little white flowers. I rapped my fingers on the polished wood of the armrest. It was dark – cherry, perhaps.

Maybe lies were best. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do," Edward said, no longer the cheerful face he had for my mom. "Vampires."

I giggled. I couldn't help it. As many times as I had thought the word, I had never said it out loud. It felt so…wrong…to hear him say it. My chair squeaked.

"Ethan," Bella said. "We just need to hear you say that you're not going to tell anyone. That you haven't mentioned it to anyone already…"

Yeah, I'm gonna tell the whole town. And then they'll lock me in a white padded cell for the rest of my life.

They were just trying to find out who else was on the to-die list.

"I haven't said anything. To anyone," I said. It was the only admission I could give them. And I was never more thankful for having kept secrets, because that lie wouldn't have escaped them. Then they would have had to torture me find out who else knew. I wanted to be perfectly clear. "I swear I haven't breathed a word of it."

"No one? At all?" Edward asked. He stared at me, unblinking.

Who would I tell? "No one."

Somewhere in the darker rooms of the house, Aunt Madison's old clock ticked.

He nodded. "Alright. I believe you."

So I've been a good boy. Does this mean I get the less painful death? I was gripping the armrests of the chair like a life preserver.

Edward gave a half smile and stood from the couch. I flinched about a half-foot, squinting against the oncoming pain. But he didn't come any closer to me. He leaned down and kissed the top of Bella's head.

"I'll leave it to you," he said. "I'll see you later tonight."

"Okay," she replied. "Be safe."

He chuckled softly and…disappeared. My eyes registered some sort of movement, but it was too fast to follow. His motion left a wake of wind; the curtains tossed. My hair ruffled, as did the edge of Bella's dress and her light curls.

My mouth was hanging open.

"Could we go for a walk?" she asked.

So Bella got the honors then. I have to admit, I was kind of glad she was the one.

Out of the house? Sure. Anything to put distance between you and my family…though it doesn't look like that's much of an issue anymore.

"Okay," I replied. I shoved my hand in my pocket and gripped the wooden stake I had whittled from the mop handle. It was time to put it to use. If I could.

She stood from the couch and followed me out of the room. I was memorizing the lines in the wood floor, the pattern of the rug. When we reached the front door my fingers gripped the knob and I took a moment to appreciate the cool metal. And then I was out of the house. I locked the door behind me. It all seemed so quick.

We didn't head down the driveway, but instead walked around the side of the house to the forest. There was a little path that wandered through the trees, hard to see in the fog, but there. For a couple of minutes, neither of us spoke. I was listening to the wet gravel crunching under my feet.

Well, if Bella has her way, I won't have to worry about the bad weather anymore. From what I understand, there is no rain in either direction.

When we were a good thirty feet down the path she asked, "How did you find out?"

There was no reason to lie. I didn't want to go out that way. "I just…figured it out."

"Quite an assumption to make. Vampires, Ethan? Really?" She gave me a small, mocking smile.

"I had a lot of sillier ideas before I came to that conclusion."

"Radioactive spider bites?" she asked.

"What?"

She chuckled. "Never mind."

I kicked a stray rock down the path and surreptitiously adjusted my grip on the stake. It was getting slippery in my sweaty hand. "I thought you were a ghost at first. But just you. I didn't even have the others in the equation."

"Why did you think anything about me at all? If you don't mind me asking." There was no whisper of skin against fabric as she moved. The sound of her feet on the dirt was minimal. If I didn't see her in my periphery, I wouldn't have known she was there.

"I don't mind," I replied. My heart was thrumming. "It feels good to talk about this, actually. In a weird way."

"I completely understand," she said.

"Well…I saw you at the cemetery. You and Edward, visiting Charlie Swan's grave."

Her face went blank. "And someone told you about my dad."

It was very bizarre to have her admit it. "Yeah. Some of the local kids told me the story of Isabella Swan. But that's all it was to them, a ghost story. I swear…"

"I know."

I sighed. "Well, it was just…weird…that you would even care. And I started thinking of ways I could learn more about you, the old you. Because the way they described her, she sounded like you, the now you. And I wanted to know how you two were connected. It was a mystery. I couldn't help it."

"But how did you…?"

"Up in the attic I found an old box of stuff. Carter's great-grandpa's school trophies…and yearbooks."

She nodded. Her curls moved softly against her shoulders. "Ah. You found me in one of them."

"Yeah," I replied.

How could I kill her? How could I even think about killing her? Even if she was lethal, even if she was going to end my life here and now, it was so hard to think about attacking her. She was, well, a she.

I wiped off my hand on the lining of my pocket and gripped the stake again.

"And then you saw the Cullens listed?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No. Actually, that came way later. I didn't even think to check. I was just certain you were the undead."

"Well…I am."

"But not like that. I thought you were a zombie or a ghost or something. I even had a theory about a robot…no, never mind."

She chuckled. "Okay. Then…how did you get to vampires?"

"Well…" I did have one lie to tell. I hoped she wouldn't see through it. "I tracked down your marriage license. And it had his name on it."

"A matter of public record."

"Exactly."

"Interesting," she said. "Well, there's a base we can cover better." She smiled.

She was still beautiful. She was still beyond me. And it didn't matter that she was going to be the end of me. I could still appreciate the way her hair fell, the contrast of her bright lips against her pale skin, the way her dress hugged her figure…

I was staring at her again.

Oh well. Perhaps she would understand. A dying man's last wish and all that.

I hoped she would give me a couple answers before… It was only a matter of courtesy. "I have to know one thing. How did you know that I knew?" I asked.

"It wasn't that hard. Have you looked in the mirror, Ethan?" Her smile was teasing.

"Oh."

"I can see the imprint of the cross around your neck through your sweater. And we could smell the garlic from a mile away. Literally. Not to mention the ridiculous accessories." She reached up and tugged on my bow tie.

"I take it this isn't helping me any?" I asked, suppressing a cringe as she came so close.

"They're nothing but myths, sorry. And the stake in your pocket isn't going to help, either."

My shoulders sagged. Honestly, it was more relief than anything else. I pulled the stake out of my pocket, ashamed. It was like confessing to having some sort of illegal substance. I studied it; my hand was red from holding it so tightly.

It was just an overgrown splinter. Even I could tell how silly it looked.

"Well, I had to try." I tossed it into the trees. It whistled as it went and landed with a far-off thud.

We walked a little bit longer before she picked up the conversation again.

"They can be helpful sometimes for us. They let us know when people are growing suspicious. Actually, you can blame Jasper for the green stuff. He started that rumor. Easier combination to spot – green, garlic, crosses."

"Oh."

"Though St. Patrick's day can be a little confusing. And Italian restaurants."

We came to a small break in the trees. There was a boulder off to one side and I went to sit down. I closed my eyes and took a moment to just listen to the world around me, the hushed air, the crackling noises of little animals in the pine needles behind us. The rock wasn't comfortable, but I could still be grateful for what it was.

"Well," she said. "I guess that's about it."

It was time. It was going to happen now.

Now.

"Yeah. Okay. I get that."

It wasn't enough. There were so many things I still wanted to do, things I had to say. I didn't get a chance to tell anyone back home how much I missed them. Not really. And Jules! Jules! I was going to break her heart. I could only hope that she was strong enough to take it. Knowing her, she could survive anything, and she still had Justin so…

…but it wasn't the same.

Now?

Mom would blame herself for bringing me to Forks in the first place. Aunt Madison would blame herself for suggesting it or for not warning me about the dangers of the forest, or something. Not to mention the kids at school. Well…they might just have a moment and move on. Except Ava. God, I could do no right by that girl. At every turn I was letting her down. I was going to mess up another date.

Now?

Here I was, about to die, and all I could think was how horrible it was going to be for everyone else. I felt guilty.

Now?

Now?

The word had lost all meaning.

"Anything else you want to say?' she asked.

So much. Too much. There was no time for any of it.

I was bizarrely calm for the moment. "Um…stay away from my family and friends? I'd really like it if you didn't eat them, too."

I closed my eyes again. I didn't want to see her do it. I didn't want the pretty image of Bella ruined by the face she was about to make. Feral. Savage. And I was pretty sure I didn't want to watch her eat if I was going to be at all conscious for any portion of the event.

Now.

"Ethan," she said. "I'm not going to eat you."

Wait. What?

I took a deep breath. Let it out.

I opened my eyes. "Wait. What?"

She was laughing, like it was the most ridiculous idea in the world. "I'm not going to eat you. Don't be silly."

"But you're a vampire. Isn't that what you do?"

Yes, Ethan, please continue trying to convince her to kill you.

"No!" She was laughing harder now. "You mean all this time, you thought I was taking you out here to…?"

"I figured that was the general idea, yeah." My skin went cold, and then immediately hot. My heart picked up pace, beating overtime, as though it was recovering from being resigned to its silent fate.

She shook her head. "No, no, we don't do that. Animals only. No people."

And then…I was a little miffed. I should have been relieved, but instead, I found myself on my feet, shouting. "You couldn't have told me that at the beginning? Might have saved me a lot of stress. 'Hey, Ethan, we know you know we're vampires. Oh, and by the way, we won't eat you. Promise.'"

The laughter subsided. "I'm sorry. I realize that you are completely justified in that conclusion. I forget sometimes how much we are the minority in our species."

"I mean, here I am, thinking I'm about to die and…" I swallowed. "Hold on. Minority?"

"Well, there are others out there. Not as…nice as us."

Oh great.

"You really just wanted to know how I found out?" I asked.

"Well people aren't really supposed to know. We wanted to make sure you were the only one, and that it wasn't something others could figure out easily, that we weren't leaving clues."

"Oh. What would you have done if…?"

"I don't know." She looked off into the trees, to some place my eyes couldn't see. "Honestly, we're usually long gone by now. The moment we think someone has grown suspicious, we leave town."

"Why did you stay this time?"

Her forehead crinkled, her eyes still distant. "We've got a family…situation going on right now. So we can't."

It seemed that was all I was going to get. "I see."

"Ethan, can I ask you a weird question?"

Right. Because the rest of this conversation has been very normal. "Um. Sure."

"When did you first decide to go to the beach?" she asked.

"The beach?"

"First beach. You guys took a trip down there recently, right?"

"Sure. We went last Friday."

"Did you have plans to do that earlier? Like when you first came into town, did you see the ocean on the way in and have a plan to go down there at some point?"

What the hell does this have to do with anything? "Um. No. Not really. It was all Will's doing. He brought it up last Tuesday I think."

"Oh. Okay."

"Why do you—"

She cut me off. "I should get home. You should, too. Your Aunt Madison is just around the corner."

How could she…? Oh. Right. Vampire. Vampires do it better. This was going to take some getting used to. "Okay. I guess I'll see you at school."

She nodded. "Keep it to yourself, Ethan. No one can know."

"I know. I will."

She turned for the forest.

"Aren't you taking the rail?" I asked.

She smiled. "It's faster just to run."

"Oh. Well…safe trip?"

"Thanks."

And then she was gone.

***

When I got back to the house, Bella was right. Aunt Madison was already parked in the driveway, locking up the car. I wandered over to her from the fringe of the forest.

"Hey, kid," she said. "Where's your mom?"

I shrugged. "Went to the store. I'm surprised you didn't see her in passing."

"Where were you?" she asked.

"I just went for a little walk. I haven't really taken the time to appreciate the nature up here, so I thought I would while it wasn't raining." I was getting a lot better at that whole "lying" thing.

She grabbed her bag and headed for the steps. "Hard to do when it's pea soup, I imagine."

"You know, it doesn't really bother me that much." I was grinning.

She ruffled my hair as she passed by. "You are a funny kid, you know that?"

"I do."

I walked up the steps behind her and waited as she unlocked the door. She flipped all the lights on as she walked inside and shrugged off her jacket. The house was a beautiful sight.

"Did your mom say when she'd be home?" she asked.

"She'll be home soon. She was getting stuff for dinner."

And then something occurred to me: I was alive. I was still alive. Something about the way the living room looked from the hall…it clicked. I didn't really believe I would make it back to this place again. I wasn't planning on ever talking to Aunt Madison again. Or Mom. And yet, here I was.

The grin grew wider.

"What's with you?" Aunt Madison chuckled. "Does this have something to do with Ava Parson?"

It in no way had anything to do with Ava Parson. "Just happy."

"Well…good." She reached into her purse, rifling through whatever it was that women kept in those things. "I almost forgot…"

"What?"

"Oh, Jeremy stopped by today." She pulled out a folded piece of paper. "He said to give you this."

A paper note? How quaint.

"Thanks."

It read:

Hey Ethan,

Do you think you could teach me how to tie a knot so it doesn't come undone on its own and make me fall to my death? That would be great. Diner tomorrow, after you get out of work.

I shoved the note in my pocket as my mom pulled into the driveway.

"I'm going to go help with the bags," I said. I whistled my way back outside. Aunt Madison was chuckling in the background.

"There's only the two, Ethan," Mom said. She had a grocery bag in either hand.

"Well, I can take them for you," I said. I held out my hands and she passed them over to me. It looked like she was planning on making hamburgers for dinner – my favorite.

"Thank you, dear. That's awfully sweet," Mom said.

We walked back inside. I helped her unload everything and even helped with the vegetable chopping. Through it all, Aunt Madison kept chuckling, and it wasn't lost on me.

"So, how did the little study session go?" Mom asked.

"Huh?" I replied.

"With Edward and Bella?" She put on a pot of water to boil. "Edward seems like such a nice boy. I hope you guys are good friends. He's really a tribute to his father. You can tell where he gets his looks, that's for sure."

I groaned. "He's adopted, Mom."

"Oh," she replied. "I didn't know that."

I rolled my eyes. "The study session was fine."

"And Bella? Such a sweet young lady. I wish you could meet someone like her…"

"Mom."

"That reminds me. We never did talk about your date on Saturday. Who was the girl again?"

From the kitchen table, Aunt Madison piped in. "Ava Parson."

"Right. Ava Parson," Mom said. She was smiling into the pot as she sprinkled salt into the water. "And when do I get to meet Miss Parson?"

"I don't know. New subject, please." They were ruining my not-dead good mood.

"Oh, Ethan, just talk to me, won't you?" Mom asked. She put her arm around my shoulders. "I know I'm not your father, but you can at least talk to me."

"Um. No." At least not about Ava.

The arm fell. "Oh. Okay."

"I think I'm going to go upstairs and work on homework for a little while," I said.

"Alright, dear," Mom replied.

I walked up to the second floor and their conversation picked up before I reached the hall. I waited on the landing, listening.

"I don't understand," Mom said. "What am I doing wrong?"

"He's a teenage boy," Aunt Madison replied. "He's fickle of heart and shy about girls. It's not uncommon."

"What do you mean, 'fickle of heart'?"

I sat down on the stair.

"I don't think it's Ava Parson who he's after, Emma."

"Oh no?" Mom asked.

"Didn't you say that Bella Black came over today?"

"They were both here, Edward and Bella. For some study project."

Aunt Madison didn't reply.

"Oh," Mom said. "Ohh…"

"He was practically beaming when I got home," Aunt Madison said.

I heard a package being opened, something being added to the water bubbling on the stove. "But she's got Edward. They're such a cute couple. I don't see how…"

"It's my fault, really," Aunt Madison said.

"How?" Mom asked.

Aunt Madison cleared her throat. "I may have said something about 'boyfriend' not meaning the same thing as 'husband.'"

"Oh, Maddy, you didn't."

"I've never met the guy. It's not like I really had any frame of reference. His brothers have been in the shop once or twice. And Bella once."

"Well…then there's the matter of that Ava girl."

Aunt Madison sighed. "She is clearly head over heels for Ethan. I wish he could see it."

"He's going to break her heart, isn't he?"

"He just doesn't feel the same way."

Mom's voice was quieter, a murmur. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, they say."

"Did the papers go through?"

A pause. A strangled sigh. "It's official."

"It's a good thing, Emma," Aunt Madison said.

"I know."

I stood up and turned back to the hall. I might not have been a vampire, but if needed, I could walk without anyone hearing me, too.

***

After dinner, I called Jules as I said I would. I wasn't sure what more she wanted to talk about, but I had made a promise to her. I got the feeling she wasn't too happy with me, and I really wanted to hear her voice again, now that I wasn't going to be a headline on the 7:00 Tri-State Update.

"So," she said. "He actually called."

Yep. Not very happy. "I told you I would."

"Just like you said you would call Saturday night."

I sat down at my desk, spinning around in my chair once. "I forgot, Jules. I said I was sorry."

"I think that town is getting to you," she said. "Maybe all that rain has dripped into your ears and found its way to your brain."

"Nothing I say is going to change this, is it?" I asked.

"Nope. Best to wait 'til it peters out. My moods kill themselves eventually."

I chuckled. "Fair enough."

"So tell me again. What happened at the movie?"

I closed my eyes and leaned back in the chair. "You heard the story. Why do you want me to tell it again?"

She groaned. "Because I didn't get to hear it. I had to read it. It's always better when I get to hear it."

"Fine," I agreed with a sigh. "I fell asleep."

"No flourish? No build up? Where's the crescendo in the story? How can I ever fully appreciate the tragedy of your mistake if you don't tell it right?"

"Date with Ava. Movie. Lights went down. I fell asleep. She woke me up when it was over." The laughter that followed bounced around her room. She didn't even stop to catch her breath. I found myself smiling despite the humiliation. "Jules. Breathe."

"Right." More laughter. "Getting to that part."

"Please do."

"Whew." She took a couple breaths. "You are a great source of entertainment, Eepers. What can I say?"

"Glad to serve." I turned on my notebook. "So…I think the divorce is final."

"Yeah. I heard."

"How did you hear? I mean my mom hasn't really even told me officially…"

"Justin told me, actually."

"How did he—"

"I don't know. But he knew." A beat of silence. "I'm sorry, Ethan."

"It's okay. It's not something we didn't already know was coming." I wasn't lying. I really was okay with it. It was what was better for the both of them. And my mom deserved to be happy.

"True." She sighed. I heard her keystrokes pick up in the background. "You're going to be up here for summer, right?"

"I plan on it, even if I don't stay with my dad. Maybe I'll just stay at your place."

"Okay."

"Listen, Jules, you know that I miss you, right? And Justin, too. I never call him anymore. I should."

"He knows. You could send him a message every once in a while. He got his early acceptance."

"That's great," I replied. "That's really great."

"And I know you miss me," she said. "Of course you do. You have to. It's the law or something."

"That's right. It's the Law of Appropriate Appreciation."

"Section three, bylaw seven, states," she took a deep breath, "'If at any time Ethan Powell is more than thirty miles away from Jules Appleby for more than a three-day period, he is required to have and express feelings of anxiety over the lack of her presence in his life.'"

"Well, consider me a law-abiding citizen."

"You always have been."

Outside, a gentle pattering picked up against the window. I stood up and walked over to the glass. The leaves in the tree outside tossed in the wind. The fog was receding and the grass that I could see sparkled with new life, wet and shining in the streetlight.

I laughed.

"What?" Jules asked.

"Nothing. It's just…it's raining. Again."


So some questions answered perhaps? New ones to be had?

I'm gonna say that this whole 'week between updates' thing is probably gonna be my usual routine. I have a lot of work ish going down right now. So, sorry for that.

If you haven't already, please have a looksee at "Grace Note" which is the companion to this fic. Well, if you like angst that is.

And if you want, drop me a review. I'd love to hear all y'all's thoughts. (Bonus points for use of two single quotation marks in one word?)