Dear Diary,

I actually had fun today with my family. I really hope that little snoop Jenny doesn't read this because there is no way she won't blurt it out to Mom, Dad and Mark. She'd do it just to bug me.

Jacob is mad at me for not going to some party with him. We're meeting tomorrow at the park to "talk" he says. He's getting so possessive it's really annoying. He forgets I have a life away from him. He's really going to freak when I tell him I've decided to go with my family when Jenny plays in that tournament in D.C. He told me I should stay at Jamie's house so he and I can still hang out. He even said Jamie would cover for us if I wanted to sneak out.

Well, I better go. Something tells me the talk with Jacob is going to be looooooong. Ugh. And, Jenny, if you read this and tell anyone what it says I'll take sandpaper to your cleats.


JJ wipes the tears from her eyes. Yes, there were many times she had snuck into Amy's room and read her diary. But after Amy died, JJ had simply hidden the diary away, not brave enough to read what it might say; worried it was all her fault. She leans back against the tree in the middle of her parent's backyard, lost in memories.

A hand falls on her shoulder. She looks up as her mother hands her a cup of coffee. JJ manages a smile.

"Thanks."

Sandy sits down on the ground beside her daughter. "I'm sorry I took it from you."

JJ shrugs. "It's okay. It just…freaked me out to see it gone." She chuckles. "I had this idea that Thedoroski had somehow broken into my house, stolen it, and was using it to make up his confession."

"That would have been some trick," Sandy jokes.

"Tell me about it. Did…did you read it?"

Sandy nods. "Yes, I did. How often did you read it, Jenny, that just about every entry had some sort of threat to you?"

JJ laughs. "I read it a lot. Mark's the one that got me into it. Her life just seemed so…so great. When I wasn't on the soccer field I wanted to be her."

"And on the soccer field you wanted to be Pele."

JJ nods. "Hey, if you want to be the best you emulate the best. He was the legend at the time."

Sandy nods. "True. Jenny…did she do it? Did she kill herself?"

JJ sighs. "I…I don't know, Mom. Her last entry is the night we did the family portrait. For some reason she never wrote in her diary again. Something happened Sunday to make her not want to record the day."

Sandy swallows. "Jenny…do you think…did you see the report from the coroner?"

JJ turns and studies her mother. "Have…have you seen it?"

Sandy shakes her head. "No. I couldn't. I didn't want to remember her that way."

JJ nods. "That's good, Mom. Trust me. No parent should have to see those reports."

"You didn't answer my question, Jennifer."

JJ turns and stares towards the backyard fence. She takes a deep breath. "Yes, I read it."

"Did she kill herself?"

JJ stares down at the grass. "I don't know, Mom. It was inconclusive. I think the coroner just didn't want to drag it out any longer than necessary so he made the easy declaration."

"What do you think?"

JJ feels the tears well up in her eyes once more. She slowly turns and stares into her mother's eyes. "I think I miss my sister."

Sandy pulls her daughter close as they both cry for the missing piece of their hearts.


"PUT IT BACK, MARK!"

"No! Come on, we'll just read a few pages."

JJ stares at her 10 year old brother. For his birthday he'd gotten as 'Junior Spy' kit and has decided the best person to spy on is Amy. He has managed to find her diary and is planning to read it. His 7 year old sister knows they are playing with fire.

"Mark, if she finds out she'll kill us both!" JJ tries to warn him.

"She'll only know if you say something, Stinkerbell."

"STOP calling me that!" JJ says angrily.

He taunts her. "Why, Stinkerbell? I thought that's who you wanted to be for Halloween last year."

She stomps her foot. "NO! I wanted to be TINKERBELL! You're so dumb, Mark!"

"You're BOTH dumb! What the HECK are you DOING in my ROOM?" Amy roars.

Mark quickly hides Amy's diary behind his back. JJ is just frozen. Amy stomps towards them.

"Give it, Mark!"

"Um…give what?" he mumbles.

Amy grabs him by the shirt. "Give me my diary, you little jerk!"

Mark swallows and slowly hands over the diary. "I was just making Jenny put it back!"

JJ spins on him. "You WHAT? LIAR!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"YOU'RE BOTH TWERPS!" Amy yells.

The three start to scream and yell at each other. Suddenly a voice silences all of them.

"EEEEE-NOUGH!"

The kids slowly turn and see an angry Sandy Jareau. Amy points at her siblings.

"They're in my room reading my diary!"

Sandy looks at the younger two kids. "Rooms. Now."

Mark and Jenny don't need to be told twice. They are equally scared of their mother and Amy at the moment. But they are sure their mother would be the less dangerous of the two.

Five minutes later Sandy walks into JJ's room.

"You have 2 minutes to tell me your side of the story."

JJ sighs. "Mark wanted to play spies. I didn't know he meant we'd be spying on Amy 'til he went in there and snooped around 'til he found her diary. I told him to put it back, Mom. I did. Promise!"

Sandy nods. "That matches Mark's story. Jenny, next time, don't put yourself in the position to get in trouble with Mark."

"Yes, ma'am."

As Sandy leaves, JJ drops down onto her bed. "Dumb Mark," JJ mumbles. "Now Amy will find a new place to hide her diary. I hate wasting time looking for it!"


"Mom? Do you remember the time Mark got in trouble for using his spy kit to get to Amy's diary?"

Sandy nods, smiling. "Yes, I do."

"The reason I was so mad at him was I knew where the diary was hidden. And I knew Amy would hide it better now that he'd found it."

Sandy slowly looks at her daughter. "Amy was right…you were a little twerp."

JJ smiles. "Yeah, I was." JJ pulls out of her mother's arms. "I…I need to go for a drive."

"To where?"

"I need to go…there. Where it happened. I just need to."

Sandy kisses her daughter's cheek. "Tell Emily."

JJ smiles. "I will."

JJ heads inside. At the door, she turns and sees her mother walking to the garden. Alan and Mark had gone to work that morning. They said they needed the normalcy. Sandy had turned down a substitution opportunity. JJ is heading to the park. Just like after they lost her, the family had drifted away from each other. JJ vows that no matter the outcome of the investigation, they would not drift away from each other as long this time.

She goes inside and finds Francesca in the kitchen with Henry. She smiles at her son.

"Did you have a good breakfast, Little Man?"

"Yummm!" he tells her.

She smiles and gives him a kiss. Glancing at the nanny, she asks, "Has Emily left yet?"

"Not yet, cara."

"Good."

JJ heads upstairs to see her wife. She finds Emily in the bathroom finishing with her make-up. JJ leans against the doorway.

"Em, I'm not just going to sit around here today." She raises a hand to stop Emily's protest. "I won't investigate anything. I promise. I just need…to feel close to her. I'm going to her grave for a while and then to the park where…where she was found. I just wanted you to know so that you wouldn't worry about me and so if the team has to go to the park you'll know I could be there."

Emily walks over and lays her hands on JJ's shoulders. "Thank you for telling me, Jen. I promise to keep you as in the loop as I can. I love you, Jennifer."

"I love you, too."

Emily pulls JJ close. They stand there a few minutes, Emily trying to will some of her strength into her wife. She knows JJ hasn't slept much since finding out about Daniel Thedoroski. She can't go much longer before she drops.


JJ stares across the cemetery. So far she hadn't gotten up the nerve to walk out to her sister's grave. She sits on the bumper of her mother's car, wondering what it will do to them all if they find out Amy was murdered. It's like her father had said: no matter what she's still gone. They've mourned, they've adapted, they've moved on.

"Why the hell are we even…even dredging this up again? She gave me her necklace. She made sure to tell us all she loved us. She followed the blueprint of a suicide to a 't'. Jennifer Prentiss, what the hell does this investigation accomplish? Is it just to alleviate our guilt?"

She finally stands and makes her way across the rows of gravestones to the one that bears her sister's name. She sees a dried bouquet of flowers in front of the stone and knows this means her mother still visits regularly. JJ frowns.

"I…I should have brought you something, Aim. I guess I'm not exactly at the top of my game right now." JJ sits down and crosses her legs. "I miss you, Amy. Guess I need to fill you in on a few things." She smiles. "Emily's pregnancy is going great. Well, except for a really bad continual craving for sardines and anchovies. And the baby is a little girl. Her name is going to be…be…" JJ has to stop and catch her breath. "Her name will be Roxanne Amy Prentiss. We'll still call her Rocky for short. Well, at least until she gets old enough to tell us where to stick that nickname if she doesn't like it."

JJ sits there for another hour, telling Amy all about life in Virginia. Or, as Garcia calls it, life in Prentissville. Eventually she stands.

"Well, I need to go on, Amy. I need to see where…where you died. I need to really put this all behind me. I promise to let you know what happens to that bastard Thedoroski." She sighs. "I love you, Amy. Forever."


JJ drives over to the park she had spent so many hours playing soccer in. She drives past the playing fields, past the pond, past the playground, until she comes to the last parking area. From there she can walk to the secluded section of the park kids used to go to make out in. She had never been there before. She just couldn't bring herself to go and her friends had understood.

She can't help but grin. She may never have been there before but the area is easy to find: just follow the candy wrappers and energy drink cans scattered on the ground. When she gets to the open area at the end of the path she looks around, remembering talking to Amy about it. She kneels down, her mind drowning once more in memories.


"What do you all do down there?" the 11 year old asks.

Amy shrugs. "You know…just hang out and stuff."

JJ grimaces. "By 'stuff' you mean 'smooshing', right?"

Amy laughs. "Yes, I mean kissing, Jenny. But we also talk and gossip and have fun."

JJ just shakes her head. "Don't you all do that stuff at school?"

"Yes, but it's different out in the park. You can cuss and stuff without worrying about teacher's hearing you."

JJ's eyes get wide. "You cuss? Really?"

Amy grins. "Shit, fuck, damn. Hell, yeah, I cuss, bitch."

JJ's face is BRIGHT red! She had never heard her sister cuss. Heck, she had never heard someone cuss so much at one time. Not even in the movies she wasn't supposed to watch but did when her parents weren't home.

"Won't you go to Hell for cussing like that?"

Amy laughs and ruffles JJ's hair. "No, I won't go to Hell for cussing. They just tell us that at church to try to keep us from saying bad words."

JJ thinks about that a minute. "But then aren't they lying?"

Amy shrugs. "Rules are different for adults."

JJ shakes her head. "That's not fair. The rules should be the same for everyone."

"Maybe. But then it wouldn't be as much fun to fucking cuss," Amy says with a wink.

JJ giggles. Yeah, her sister was so cool!


"Hi, Jenny."

JJ jumps, she had been so lost in her memories she hadn't heard anyone approach. She slowly stands and stares at the man she believes raped her sister.

"Hello, Jacob."