Between Father's and Sons

By

AJ

Part 11 – Confessions and Revelations

"Forgive me," Bruce whispered the words over, and over. Feeling them roll over on his tongue. The words were ones that he wasn't used to saying, but as he voiced them, the words became somehow easier. He still had a hard time saying three little words that he knew Dick has always wanted to hear. As he held his sleeping son's hand, a memory came unbridled in his mind. He should have recalled his mother's words so clearly before, but his mind had been so clouded with dark, possessive emotions, and there had been no one there to remind him that what he felt was beyond reason. His mother's words were clear in his mind now, clearer than they've ever been. He remembered the moment, but not fully the circumstance. The words, however, came crystal clear as if they waited for this very moment to be revealed.

"If we cling too tightly what we hold in our grasp can slip from it like smoke. Do not cling so tightly that you do more harm than good."

Bruce didn't quite understand back then. He had been five, but he was beginning to understand now, all too clearly. He had clung onto Dick like he was a piece of candy he did not want to share. He guarded him like gold, afraid that someone might steal him. He had clung so tightly, like smoke, before he knew it, his child had vanished and within that space and time, a young man appeared. And like the child, he threw a tantrum, not wanting what was set before him. Even Robin wasn't safe from his possessiveness, keeping him away from danger, even though he knew Robin could take care of himself. He remembered when it started. Ravek had kidnapped Robin, but rather than just ransom him, Ravek sent Batman on a twisted maddening chase, searching for Robin only to see him die, over and over only to learn that each one had been a dummy; until the last one. Robin, Dick had come so close to dying by just the width of a gold platter that ironically held the chopped off head of John the Baptist.

No, it went further back than that, it started on the day Dick entered his life. The boy worked his way into his heart and no matter how much he would deny it the boy would always be there, but the boy was now a man and somehow that happened within the blink of an eye.

'And I missed it,' Bruce chided. Tears formed in his eyes at just how much he lost over the past year. No the past three. With Dick away at Hudson University, he hadn't really seen the changes that had been taking place. The young man had grown in stature as well as in skill. He began to out pace his mentor, and yet he still held onto that boyish charm and playfulness that was the core of his nature. Bruce hadn't wept for what seemed like ages. Tears slowly tracked down his face without a sound, his eyes closing, trying to calm his troubled spirit.

Dick's eyes fluttered open, sensing that something was wrong. He felt his hand surrounded by another's and realized it was Bruce's hand. He looked up to see Bruce's face. His eyes narrowed. He had not seen his . . . mentor . . . guardian . . . father . . . he did not know what to call him. He settled simply on Bruce. He had not seen Bruce . . . crying? Why? Bruce hadn't cried in front of him for what seemed like ages.

"Bruce?"

Bruce's eyes opened at Dick's enquiry. He could hear the question in Dick's voice. 'Why are you crying?' Bruce licked his lips. Starting was the hardest part. Perhaps if he asked his own question that might get the ball rolling in the right direction.

"Why . . ." Bruce cleared his throat, thick with emotion. ". . .Why were you trying to leave?"

The question was direct and to the point. It was Bruce. Dick buried his face in the pillow, his voice partially muffled. "I . . . do . .n't . . . be . . . ong . . . ere."

"What"

"I don't belong here," Dick said a little more clearly. "Not any more."

"Oh Dick," Bruce sighed. "I . . . I'm sorry. You do belong here. This is your home."

"But you . . . you ordered me . . ."

"I know. I ordered you out of the cave . . . But I didn't order you out of the Manor."

"I couldn't stay. Not like that."

Silence grew between them and it was then that Bruce noticed the torn Robin vest lying on the floor. Alfred usually was far more meticulous when it came to being neat. 'He probably left it there on purpose,' Bruce thought. 'A reminder for what happened last year and is still hanging between us.'

He walked over to the vest and picked it up. He rubbed the Yellow "R" in the black circle, remembering when he actually wore the vest. It was strange. He created the uniform and wore it as a disguise while he spent time with one of the best detectives in the world. He was Dick's age, 15. But it was Dick who really brought Robin to life. He brought a gracefulness and light that was only matched by his darkness.

'When I tried to take Robin from him the first time, I didn't really know what I would be losing. I thought I was trying to protect him. I was wrong then. This time, I wasn't trying to protect him from some antagonist. I was the one who hurt him. And Dick was the one who tore out Robin's heart. How do we mend this?'

"Robin is dead," Dick said as he watched Bruce's actions when he picked up the uniform. "Let him rest in peace."

"Robin isn't dead," Bruce stated. "Batman still needs him."

"You fired me, that is Robin. There is no more Robin. I'm too old to play the part," Dick countered. "I'm not a kid any more. I'm not the BOY Wonder or even the TEEN Wonder . . . well not in a few weeks anyway."

Bruce looked up at that. He's forgotten that Dick had turned another year older without him. He was nineteen and he was soon turning twenty. "That's right. Your birthday is March 21."

"Yeah, what do you call a Robin who isn't a Robin any more?"

"I'd call him Son," Bruce said.

"What?" Dick's eyes narrowed. What was Bruce saying?

"Um, don't go away. I'll be right back."

"Don't go away? Is he kidding?" Dick lay back in the bed, his emotions warring with wanting to leave still and his curiosity to know what Bruce was talking about. He had a case to get back to. Since being here, several shipments of the new designer drugs had probably entered Gotham and he still needed to find out who was behind it all. He also remembered asking Bruce for his help but hadn't gotten an answer before everything went to hell.

Within moments, Bruce came back carrying a folder in his hands. He handed it to Dick then turned on a small reading lamp above Dick's bed so he could see the words more clearly. Dick read the date on the papers and started reading their content. While Dick read, Bruce explained.

"I wanted to surprise you, but well, the timing never presented itself. And next thing I knew, almost years had passed. I said some things to Alfred . . . never mind. They don't matter now. I owe him an apology, too. When we started on this path, I said to you that I didn't want to be a father . . . until Alfred pointed out to me . . . If you remember, we tried to go through the courts . . ."

"And they appointed you my guardian instead and I said I didn't need a father . . . But . . ."

"I don't know when everything changed . . . Maybe it was the day you first ran away," Bruce stated.

Dick flipped through the pages then asked, "So this is official?"

"Yeah, they finally agreed to it."

"I'm really Richard John Grayson-Wayne? And you're my . . ."

"Yeah . . . I'm your father. That is if you still want me."

"Oh Bruce," Dick began. "I know I said I didn't want a father, but I was just a scared kid. What I wanted was My father and I couldn't have him. And I didn't realize what I was missing out on. I didn't understand why you wanted me . . . for a son. I thought you only wanted . . ."

"Robin?" Bruce answered. "If you remember, it was you who insisted on taking an oath."

"Yeah, and I kept it, too," Dick pointed out.

'I know. I should have realized you would never break an oath, even if it was to a bunch of other misguided meta friends."

"Speedy isn't a meta, remember."

"Yeah well, don't hold it against me. But it was real hard watching you go off with the Titans."

"Not any harder than when you went off with the League," Dick pointed out.

"I guess we both have to work on some issues still."

"Well, I'd be willing to try if you are."

Bruce held out his hand and Dick took it. Bruce pulled his son in an embrace, one that he had not done since before Dick went off to college.

"OWWW!" Dick cried out.

"What?"

"I think I pulled a stitch. So, when can I get out of here?"

"Out of recovery?"

"No, out of this bed," Dick stated.

"Not until you are fully healed, Master Richard."

"Alfred? How long were you standing there?"

"Long enough," Alfred turned on his heals and walked back out of the recovery room and into the main bat cave. 'It is about time they reconciled. I was afraid I was going to have to lock them both in a room until doomsday.

Continues with Part 12 – Newtown and Blu[e]dhaven

A/N: As you can see, this is not the end of the story. Not by a long shot. You will notice the name of one of the towns. That is NOT an error. And it will be explained in the next chapter.

Reference: How Many Ways Can a Robin Die Batman #246