A/N: This one is for claymaker who came up with a similar idea. I hope it's funny because it's a little surprising.

Day Ten

Ten days had passed since Alucard had first gotten bored. By now, Integra had hoped he'd be running out of ideas. Of course, he was about to prove her wrong.

She sat at her desk going through some recent reports that she secretly hoped would bring in some work for Alucard to do. With any luck, it would really be something he could sink his teeth into...literally. Recently, the Iscariot Organization had been moving southward toward them which made Integra suspect that maybe the ministry was holding out on them. With her luck, it was bound to be that pest, Anderson. She grinned to herself when she thought of what might happen should that pesky exorcist try to visit Hellsing.

The door opened and Integra looked up. "Oh, good morning, Walter," she said.

"Good morning, Sir Integra," Walter replied. "After last night's incident with the locks, I assume you'll be pleased with today's blend. As I recall, it's one of your favorites,"

Integra smiled wearily. "You're quite right, as usual," she muttered, "Believe me, having to force the locksmith out of bed at eleven at night wasn't as easy as it seemed. And of course, Alucard's nowhere to be found, yet again. It took me all night to reset those locks,"

Walter poured her a cup of tea and handed it to her. Integra sighed, enjoying the relaxing aroma. "I'm almost hoping we hear of a case, soon," she murmured.

"I don't blame you in the slightest, Sir Integra. Alucard managed to scare off another recruit this morning. Poor chap. Could only babble nonsense at first, but we managed to deduce that Alucard spent most of the night stalking him. He didn't quit, thankfully, but I've given him a few weeks' off. He'd never seen Alucard before because if he had, he'd have known to ignore him or worst case scenario, shoot at him," Walter said.

"Yes, because Alucard knows better than to actually attack his own allies," Integra grumbled, "Hopefully."

She took a sip of her tea and then immediately gagged, sputtering and coughing violently. Walter hurried over anxiously, "What's the matter?" he exclaimed.

"Salt!" Integra gasped, "It's saltwater!"

"What? That can't be, I just filled it with fresh water from the tap," Walter said.

"He must have filled it with salt sometime beforehand," Integra snapped. She snatched the kettle from him and stormed out of her office. Walter stared after her curiously, wondering when Alucard had gotten the chance to fill the kettle with salt.

Integra stalked down to the basement were Alucard and Seras's respective chambers were. Seras opened the door at the sound of her footsteps. "Sir Integra? What's going on?" she asked, hurrying after her.

"I'm going to pay your master a little visit, Seras," Integra said sharply. She threw the door to his chamber open. He remained sitting in his chair across the room, seemingly asleep. Integra stormed over, raised the kettle up as she approached and them proceeded to dump the water all over him once she'd reached him. Alucard yelled in surprise, leaping to his feet and glaring at Integra.

"Any particular reason for this, my master?" he snarled, though his eyes held a peculiar amused gleam. Integra hurled the kettle at him, striking him sharply in the shoulder with a force that would have knocked the joint out of place had Alucard been human.

"Just a taste of your own medicine, you creep," Integra hissed, whirling and stalking out. Seras stared after her and then turned to her master. He was busy wringing his hair out.

"Sorry, master, but you were kinda asking for it," she said, resisting the urge to laugh.

Alucard regarded her blankly for a moment. Then, his face split into a rather creepy, mischievous grin. Seras gulped and took a step back, gesturing toward the door, "Uh, I'll be going now," she muttered. She was gone in two seconds flat. Alucard's eyebrows quirked in surprise.

"I'm impressed; she's getting faster," he said as he finished wringing his hair out.

A/N: He was so asking for it. ^_^