Stuck Between a Vampire and a Hard Place

Chapter 11: Whatever it Takes

"Talked to Carlisle lately?"

"Huh, huh, you know you wanna!"

"Call him!"

"When can he and his family come over?"

"Raven, tell Carlisle to come to our house!"

"Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle, hurry up and call him already!"

"Okay, seriously! Carlisle is on the phone! I'm not kidding this time!"

"…Yeah right."

"Come on! He can be with a simple seven-digit dial!"

"Talk to him yet?"

"When are the Cullen's coming?"

"Did you invite them yet!"

"When will they come over!"

"Dude… what's that smell?"

I drowned out their continuous blabber with my spell book. I was currently trying to recreate the formula for… immortality (the source of the smell.) This time, it was on a much smaller scale, so small to not even cause a prick of a finger… let alone a death. But as my experimenting continued, so did my torment. What had I done to deserve this? Considering the amount of concentration I was supposed to be using, I got off of that subject. Yet, as always, Carlisle's memory seeped slowly into the back of my mind. He constantly found the faults and weaknesses of me, abusing them although he had no control.

It was likely to the slightest extent that he might've felt this way, too. If his eyes weren't lying when I looked deeply into him, then he did have something in his heart for me as well. But he was hiding it. The only reason why I had to look so intently upon him and his expressions was because he tried with so much effort to keep his feelings secret. Or… on the other hand, perhaps those affectionate feelings were buried so deeply in his irises because he could not even feel them at all.

I was afraid of that answer, but I had to face it if it was truth.

My mind wandered while my hands delicately let the violet liquid trickle into the dust of fire itself and ancient herbs. I sought for an answer Endeavoring with every breath to find -not a cure, but a resolution to the question: Why did Sam die? Even to this day I shivered at his name. Sam was my only companion for years… my only family, true friend- or even just friend at that. He was my only care-giver, my only remedy to tears, my only source of laughter… Sam was everything to me.

And God took him from me.

I always questioned the cruelty. I begged in my prayers for a reasonable answer or vindication unto why he had to die that day. Of course, I never received an explanation. Though my faith never thinned, it left me with questions and uncertainty.

What was the real reason! I pleaded to know! And I didn't even get to say goodbye! How could anything mean more to me now than those few words… Even love couldn't settle for better in my heart, for I was stained bitter.

I tried my very hardest to restrain from cold tears. I was the strongest. But when I thought of my dead to-be-husband… how could I not wish to join him…

As I cried over my now damp experiment, I scowled down at the parchment. This paper. This curse. If I didn't follow this wretched work five hundred and eighteen years ago… maybe I'd happy with Sam still… or somewhere brighter, but still with him. Instead, I'd been banished from happiness with the one I loved so dearly. Damned to wander the earth's crust while I mourned for centuries.

I was so young… and innocent… and in love… And it disappeared.

Solemnly, I walked hollow to the stash of herbs, and started again.

"Ash of fire… Dash of earth… Violet honey… See your worth…" I mumbled distantly with a heavy burden weighing me down. My words scraped my throat and made me whimper in agony.

Sam… Sam Facinelli.

23. Dirty blond. Pale complexion. Witches brew eyes.

Ironic. The green/brown pigment in his undying eyes was witches brew.

I could never forget his eyes. His coarse hands and dirty face caused by hours of working, only to receive a few hours with his family and wife.

I starred down at my unmoving hands. My index finger involuntarily stroked my thumb with sadness.

I was… I was his wife in his mind. I was his wife in my mind. Only thing was, he didn't live long enough to surpass the ceremony. To this day I still wore his wedding band. Rusting every hundred years, I'd place it in a special mixture to have it restored to its love and beauty from whence I first received.

I intended to never let go… even if it meant to complicate the relationship between Carlisle and I.

Speaking of…

"His words have stolen me of all words…" laughing, "It's like he stole my dictionary out of my head, man! Carlisle, can I have it back!"

Their taunting from outside my door echoed in the silent room, and burned my silent heart.

"I love you, Sam." I kissed the ring on my finger and headed towards the door, hoping to make it to my room in one peace where I could finish my mourning.

To my greatest luck of the day, they had taken a short break to the kitchen. I accepted my chance and ran to the staircase. Moments later, I ended up in my room.

Sunset was coming soon. And then the darkness would fall. I liked it darker in the skies. Maybe it was just instinct, or just a part of my inevitable curse. The sun was too bright for me; I could so easily look up and imagine Sam gazing back behind the clouds. At least at night, it wasn't so ominous. The matter beyond us in the layers above… it just felt like a black hole. Anything could be thrown out there and never come back. With that in mind, I'd cry and send my tears towards the stars. Maybe it was the reason, maybe not. I said I pictured Sam always watching over me; so if perchance he were, he would get a little bit of me while he waited for me to join him- even if I gifted him with my liquid of sadness.

…A silence surrounded me.

They never really understood. They never felt the pain that I did. My sisters lost their brother; I lost my heart.

I heard them still mocking me from downstairs. Not realizing that I'd left, they continued talking to the door.

I sighed of their ill sense of comprehension to the fact that either way, empty room or one-person party, they were not going to get any response.

Suddenly, I heard the tango play from my purse. Unknown Caller ring tone. I shrugged it off and lay back on my bed. The sounds of my friends' teasing put me to sleep. Hopefully, I would dream of anything but a bad memory.

Da da da da! Da da da da da da! Da… da! Da!

Unknown Caller, please! Leave me alone!

Da da… da da da! Da da da da!

I groaned as I pulled myself up from my comfortable bed. I observed the alien number and did not recognize it. Whoever it was, sure had some determination.

"Hello?"

"Good evening, Raven."

Even through the phone I could match that perfect voice up to that perfect person.

"Hey, Carlisle…"

"Sorry to bother you, but um… er… I was just wondering if you needed to talk."

I was puzzled. Why would he ask that? "Are- are you… under the impression that I'm lacking support… or something?" I trailed off with an awkward chuckle. I twisted the ends of my hair in curiosity.

"No, no, dear… it's just… I had a very… er… fervent conception that you might be upset at the moment."

I paused. "Carlisle, where did you get this number?"

"Forks phone book only contains so many numbers…"

"Oh, I see… So… what was that about me and a 'talk'?"

"I- I understand if you'd rather keep it personal."

I sighed in confusion and cocked my brow upwards. "What do you mean?"

"I know you're troubled. I just thought that I'd lend a hand…"

I sensed he was smiling. Out of due tradition, a grin escaped my mouth.

"Well… I mean- Gosh… I- I- don't really know what to say to you right now, Carlisle," I stuttered, clearly knocked of all words.

"You can say 'yes' to a cup of coffee?" he quietly suggested.

I twisted my lips and looked around the room embarrassed. "Sure- Sure, why not."

"Okay," I heard him let go of a lung-full of air, "So your place, or mine?"

"Think of it this way… If you come to my house, you're dealing with a bunch of gossip, madness, immaturity, and most likely a large coffee stain somewhere on your clothing."

"Why's that?" he chuckled. He sounded just as sweet through my cell phone.

"Whoever is brave enough- scratch that… whoever is rash enough to 'accidentally' spill something on you, forcing you to have to take off either your pants, shirt, or both so that one of my friends could get you a fresh pair of clothes while you stood half naked in my living room."

"Oh… well, I guess I'll thank you for saving me from a dreadful mess of nudity and humiliation."

"Grace accepted," I replied with my signature chuckle.

"So, I'll pick you up in ten minutes?"

"Date made."

"Alright, see you then. Bye."

"Wait, Carlisle!"

"Yes?"

"I'll meet you in the street… I don't want my friends to catch me sneaking out."

"Okay, dear."

And with another exchange of goodbye… I threw on a new pair of clothes and freshened up in my personal bathroom. A plain, dull outfit and a dark green trench coat. Eh, might as well throw on a scarf. It appeared as if it would rain tonight with the dark clouds gathering over the past twilight sky. It rained a lot here; I figured I should've bought more clothes suitable for this type of weather. Even if I wasn't human, I had to act like one.

Then… something… itched? No… hit me.

Cell numbers… wait- they don't come in phone books? Do they?

Dude, I just moved here…

How…

Oh, well, I was too flattered by his call to really put thought into it. Yay, I had a date with Carlisle.

I earned trust easily from those who were willing to take a chance with me. Business partners, government, friends, clients, ect… they all found me as a very reliable person. I did hold a highly respected plaque that represented my responsibility and assurance that I could take care of things. In all matters of my life? Sure, I was just as much of an accountable adult at home as I was at work, if not more. I was a trusty gal; only problem, it was a one-way road. I didn't take faith in many people… Carlisle just so happened to be one of the lucky ones.

Long story short, I ended up in one piece in center the road waiting for Carlisle's headlights. I wasn't too enthusiastic about him having to drive over here; but it seeing it to be dark and having a possible chance of rain, maybe walking wouldn't be such a great idea after all. Oh… I forgot. And we would be in the middle of the woods… I laughed at myself. Then again, I did just so happen survive the other night.

A pair of illuminated beams scanned the asphalt before me. Running up my shoes first, then crawling my legs and abdomen, then reflecting off of my radiant eyes, the lights slowed to a stop a few yards away. As stunning as ever, Carlisle emerged from his black Mercedes and walked to the other side of his car. With a smirk still seen in the dark air around him, Carlisle opened his passenger door and waited for me to walk up to him.

"My lady," he nodded.

I sighed and rolled my incredulous eyes at him. "Honestly, you surprise me way too often."

"Just wait till you get to know my family…" he trailed off with an apparent grin. He made a u-turn and speeded back to his house up the road.

Silence captured us as I sat awkwardly in his car. The leather smell of a new car was aged but still could be picked up with my dog-like sensed nose. The interior was faux leather and lined with a shimmering grey. I wasn't surprised that this car was in such great condition. He was a man who had money and spent a pretty penny on his wheels.

"Sorry, if I disturbed you, earlier," he stated apologetically to break the silence.

"Huh? Oh! No problem… really, I couldn't quite sleep anyways…"

"Are they really that bad?" he asked, dragging the last words out for inclination of the point.

"I swear they're reaching their acme… There is not one day I can spend in peace with those- those- horrible sisters of mine!"

A smug grin covered his pinkish lips. "I can't say 'I know what you mean' from experience, but I do believe you."

"You no idea…" I groaned, seeping into the smooth leather chair.

He admired my truth and took some form of humor from it that I could never find before on my own. Carlisle could spot and tell any good side of a situation. I liked that. I needed that.

"So, I see you own a Ferrari," he commented.

"Yeah… I do… I see you own the original After the Bath, Houses on Cliffs, The Russian Dancer… a lot of other stuff, too…"

Like always whenever I pinpointed a fault in Carlisle's mask, he stiffened and dared not to look in my direction.

"I see you pay attention to the arts…" he mumbled, as a calm form of fear subsided slowly.

"Don't even put an effort; we both know we're keeping something secret. Both of our families are on the line if we tell, and we'll have to uproot again- just like always, eh Carlisle?"

He sighed out of hope. "You can always read through me, Raven. You don't even have to include integrity- it's just that easy of an ability to master for you," he replied with a straight face forward and a heavy foot on the gas.

"Do you feel violated?" I asked with a chuckle simmering in my throat.

"No…"

"Do you feel safe?"

"Maybe."

The silence smothered me within thought. Was he afraid of me or something?

Okay, time to lay out the facts, Raven…

He has an abundance of ancient artwork hanging in his living room- who knows what he keeps in his closet. His entire "adoptive" family has the same complexion, eye color, and standard in beauty- not to mention the odd way of arrival into his pack. He's only twenty-three and yet has an entire medical career on board and functioning well. He's drop dead rich. His way of words is very old-fashioned. Even America's Top Model couldn't beat his gorgeousness. And… the biggest kicker yet- he even admits that he doesn't have his lies straight and a great crap-story to tell!

He and I both admitted that we had a huge secret! I couldn't take this anymore! I was done with it! Tonight, I would do whatever it took to find out what the hell Carlisle was trying to hide from me! Whatever it took!

Okay… maybe with a few exceptions to "whatever…"