Authors Note: Hi all – thank you so much for your lovely reviews and for just reading this fic! This chapter feels like a big one for me to post, as it, at last, brings to a close to Matthews first visit to Downton (there will indeed be more). When I first started writing this fic, I had no idea it was going to take me over 25K words to get to this point – it is going to be a bigger fic than I even realised when I started posting! I just wanted to add a note to the beginning of this chapter re: Robert and Matthew in the last chapter as I do not think I made anything as clear as I should of?
Matthew at this point is most definitely interested in Sybil but I had him answer the way I did as I thought Matthew was going to want to keep everything informal for now. Sybil is still only 16, so anything more than that would be inappropriate and for now, I wanted him to be saying to Robert – 'I do like her, I do not want to hurt her and I will proceed slowly with this.'
To me, that felt the appropriate, honourable answer? But hopefully, this chapter will clear a few things up – certainly how Sybil feels, while Cora muses on her mistakes.
Chapter 11
If there was one thing that was for sure Sybil thought as Anna did her hair that morning, it was that she had never had a weekend like the one she had just passed.
It had been entirely new to her and it was a sign of what was going to come to her as time went on but she knew she was not going to want any other man to stay.
She wished more than anything she was able to express already the way she felt to her family, how lucky she was to have found Matthew so early. If she had been asked right there and then, she would have proudly said to any of them that she was going to spend her whole life loving him and that was the thought in her head as she went downstairs.
Sybil had had high hopes she was going to be able to catch Matthew before he went so the two of them were going to be able to have a little talk alone. She was not sure if they were going to have to retreat to a corner of the library for a moment but in the end, the two of them came across one another in the hallway.
She was not sure if they should allow themselves to be alone as they were, but she did not know if she had the strength to walk away. And when he smiled at her she knew she did not. She didn't want to.
"Good morning," he beamed softly at her.
That morning she seemed nothing less than the sun to him.
"Good morning Matthew. How are you?"
"Well… I have just finished packing for my train." It left at eleven thirty.
She felt her heart drop for the last thing she wanted him to do was get on a train and go away from her. But she also knew he had too.
"Oh, I do hope you had an enjoyable time here – in spite of Cousin James and at times my sisters… I would hate to think you felt as if you were unwelcome!"
He beamed at the sweetness which had first attracted him to her.
"If I ever did, then you made the bitterness sweeter and I promise you I am going to remember my stay here with a fondness for a long time to come."
"And might you be persuaded to come again?" she asked coolly.
"I might indeed."
But in her heart, she knew it was time to be serious and if there was a time to declare herself, then it was now. Society said this was the place of the man and if her mother ever heard her speak as she was about to, she did not know if she was going to be more shocked or appalled, but that did not stop Sybil. She was sure the suffragettes who she had been reading about would approve of her being so vocal about what she felt and right then… it was there approval whose mattered to her.
"I know I am young Matthew, but it is very important to me you understand I know my own mind." She was sure that was enough for him to understand her.
"Yes, you are young," he admitted, "but I do not think I have ever been in any doubt of that."
If anything, he knew it more now he had met her family for he begun to understand she came from a family of strong women who were not demure - who did not sit back and drink tea if they were able to help it and that was just why he liked her.
"Good."
Then she hoped she was going to get to see him soon.
"Why don't the two of us go and get some breakfast?" she said and the two of them headed in together, to enjoy the last hour which they were going to have together.
X x x
The abbey felt as if it was a different place after Matthew left as Robert felt it always did after someone had been to stay and normal life was returning to them.
He did not know if it was right to describe Sybil as sad but she was certainly quiet for the rest of the day and seemed to be content to be on her own with her thoughts.
No doubt his youngest daughter had a lot on her mind. He could remember what Mary was like when she had been Sybil's age and he could not help thinking that Sybil was a lot more mature than her sister had been, which was just as well for she did seem to be intent on putting a lot more pressure on her self than her sister had ever had to contend with.
As for Mary herself, she too seemed a little quiet but also as if she had come to some resolutions over the weekend thought Robert. What they were he really could not say but she did seem as if she was calmer than she had been on the day which Matthew had arrived which could only be a good thing.
As for Edith, he could not help wondering if she was coming down with something, for she kept to her room for most of the day and when she did emerge she was pale.
Her getting ill was one explanation but there was another and he felt sick to think this may be the result of Cora's plan.
If they had not been a definite atmosphere between mother and daughter then he would not have wondered that but he did not think he saw his daughter so much as look at her mama that day and Cora looked as if she was heartsick.
However, he did not want to know the details.
He felt he knew quite enough.
Nevertheless, he knew they were going to have to discuss it sooner or later.
"I must say, my dear, you do seem as if you are quite down in the dumps of late," said Robert as he went into the bedroom which he shared with his wife. He knew there were those who thought men and women of their class should sleep apart, but it had been a societal rule they had never paid much attention to.
Matthew had now been gone for a few days and since he had left, the strange vibe in the house had continued. Sybil, he had almost expected it from but what alarmed him was he was sure Edith was still downcast as well. In fact, Mary seemed to be the sunny one out of his daughters right then.
"I am quite alright – I just -well the great experiment did not go as planned and now I can't help wondering if there was any wisdom in my attempts at all."
Cora could not deny that, even though when she looked back on the way she had behaved of late she had deserved every word Edith had said to her, her daughter's words had stung something within her. She had never wished to make a child of hers feel the way Edith clearly did and there was nothing which she was able to do to change that.
"Well, I cannot say I am sorry if all this Edith and Matthew business is at its ends."
He had never quite been at peace with it.
"It is just a pity that it is never going to actually lie, all the time Matthew is here visiting Sybil."
And she did not think they were able to put a stop to that now for two reasons. Firstly, they had asked him here once so there was a precedent for it and secondly because she did not want to stop him coming here.
She had had to watch Edith be heartbroken of late and she did not think that Mary was in a much better condition deep down, despite the fact of her marriage.
Sybil was her one chance right then to see one of her girls happy and while she was sure there were people who would not believe her after the way she had behaved of late but that mattered to her more than she could say.
"I do not even know if we did the right thing with Patrick and Mary anymore," Cora admitted at last.
Robert cleared his throat. He was not ready to go that far. "I admit I would be happier about the two of them if there were more signs they were coming around to each other. But it is still very early days," he insisted.
"As we are Mary's parents and know her so much better than all of that, can we not be honest?" she said as she felt her eyes well up a little.
Her husband looked at her as if he did not know anything of the sort.
"There is still time."
In her heart she knew better – but if only for their sakes she could only hope he was right.
"Still when Sybil and Edith get married, I do want there to be more of a mention of love for them."
Robert and she had worked out luckily for them and for that she counted herself blessed. She knew it was not who she was as a person which had first attracted him to her. And not every marriage was a love story.
"If this is the end of you playing Mrs Bennet then I am not going to be sorry for it."
"It is – I fear I am not very good at it. And pick Mr Collins more frequently than I do Mr Darcy."
"That was not always the case." He replied playfully and if it was not for the fact she was so worried about the girls she may have allowed that moment to lead somewhere else.
Instead, she knew she had to go at least some way to making her behaviour that weekend right and a voice in her head said it was not only Edith she had done a disservice to that weekend.
She got up and left the room, and her husband, to head over the hall to her youngest daughter's room.
She only went in after she had knocked and been called in.
It was clear Sybil was surprised when she saw her mother appear in her room.
Cora knew it was not a normality for the two of them so she did not suppose she could be surprised at that.
"I am sorry to disturb you so late at night," she said to her daughter.
"Not at all, mama – what is it?"
"Darling, I wanted to say sorry for the way I was when Matthew was here. I had some silly ideas in my head, is all."
Sybil nodded for she did not want it to be anything else but that. For her mother to have thought to promote Edith for any other reason made her, Sybil, feel more than a little uncomfortable. Why would her mother do that to her?
"I do promise if we have him to stay again, I will not behave as I did again." She had rather learnt her lesson.
"I do understand mama," she had been thinking about it of late and she was sure she truly did. She hoped all she meant by that was that she had wanted Edith to have some more company.
"None of this is easy on Edith, is it?" asked Sybil.
"No, it is not."
"Mama, I do think she truly loves Patrick." And having seen Mary with him she wasn't sure she did.
"I know."
"Together we can help her mama." Sybil offered, seeing this was by no means easy on her.
"We can try, in time – but I think we must give Edith time to heal."
Sybil agreed. "But in time…" Cora nodded, agreeing.
"You do not seem yourself, mama – are you alright?"
She nodded but soon stepped forward with slightly open arms. Sybil needed no other hint.
"Oh, my darling," said Cora as she held Sybil; in her arms and she knew she had done her a terrible disservice of late. "You are my beauty and my baby and if I ever make you feel anything else then I am sorry."
"You didn't." When Matthew had been there, nothing could have made her feel less than what he thought of her. And therefore, she had felt wonderful.
X x x
Gwen Dawson did not want to stay in service her whole life. She knew that without a shadow of a doubt. She wanted a bit more than a life in service. Something different.
She had known that for a while now and during the week after Mr Matthew left she feared Mr Carson knew it as well.
It was not for nothing you got called into his office after all.
"Am I in trouble Mr Carson?"
"Have you done anything to be in trouble for?" he asked with a raised pair of eyebrows.
"Well, no, I don't believe so."
"Nor do I. I asked with here for the opposite reason. Mrs Hughes and I feel that you coped very well with Lady Edith and Lady Sybil when Anna was away. Now they have been home for quite some time we feel it is only right we get things sorted and up to standard."
"Of course, Mr Carson."
"So rather than ask externally, first we wanted to know if you were interested in the post."
"Which post-Mr Carson?"
"As Head Housemaid and a lady's maid to Lady's Edith and Sybil of course."
Her first answer was a flat out no but then she was able to hear her dad's voice in her head telling her not to be so hasty.
For one thing, if she was a Lady Maid's it was going to show she could cope with a bit more responsibility.
And then there was going to be the increase in her wages which could only be counted as a good thing. Though it was not what she wanted, this was a step up and could help her get to where she wanted to be. She had a feeling she was not going to get a chance to think about this for Mister Carson was not the sought of a man who would understand why she would turn a chance such as this down and she did not think her father would either.
So it was far better than she took the chance whilst she had it rather than lose it.
She could always give it up if she wished to in the future after all.
"Thank you, Mister Carson," said Gwen though she wished with all she had she knew why it was she wanted to cry. "I would love to take the job."
"Of course you would," he said to her in such a way that it was as if he did not quite believe her.
"Mrs Hughes will run through your new responsibilities with you and you will see more money in your pay packet. Have you any questions?"
But at that moment, Gwen did not trust herself to speak for she could not feel herself being tied together to a life she didn't want.
She left the office and took a deep breath. To her, it did feel as if it was all a little overwhelming but it would not beat her she told herself. This was but the next step.
X x x
"This is a good opportunity for you," said Anna when Gwen told her the news. The redhead had known the woman she saw as a sister was going to see it as such, though she could not help feeling a little letdown but that.
Yet, Anna would be happy with a life in service thought Gwen. She did not quite understand. That said, she knew she would not be one of those to judge her when she did break away from this life. Gwen was sure she was going to be happy for her, for going after her ambitions, no matter how distant they seemed right then.
Gwen decided a change of subject was in order, so it was lucky there was an obvious one to turn too…
The pictures had come to the village that night and Anna was set on being as good as her word.
"You know you do not have to do this just to prove a point to Thomas, don't you?" said Gwen who hated to think her friend had got her arm twisted into this.
But now she thought that was a rather mean view of what was going on.
"That is not the only reason I am doing this," Anna said as she played with her hair. She thought she was going to be able to have a bit more fun with it than she would on a normal day.
For one she wanted to go out and have a little fun.
And two she was not sure that she disliked Mr Molsley in that way. She was sure by the simple fact that she had never felt that strongly about any man. She had begun to wonder if she was ever going to get to.
But if they went out and had an enjoyable time then, it could go somewhere…
And it no longer seemed smart to her to say no because a man did not get her heart pumping straight away. There was so many varieties of happy couple.
It turned out, the night out with Mr Molsley had not been the sort a young girl dreamt of as Gwen and Anna would have suspected, but was by no means had it been a bad night thought Anna as they got back to the Abbey. He was a kind man and she felt she had been able to relax for the night. More so than when she had been in Rome. She had been with one of her own.
"I want to thank you for a lovely night."
She had needed it without knowing it.
"Not at all. Thank you so much for your company," he beamed. It had been all he had thought of for so long and he did not think he had embarrassed himself too much.
In fact, she really did seem to have had a genuinely nice time.
Well. he did not suppose he would ever feel so confident again better to bite the bullet.
He knew what he wanted but he was never going to get it if he did not ask.
"Would you like to go again?"
The first time, she had said yes due to Thomas cruelty and though she had wanted to save him from it, in an odd way it had felt as if she was being rather cruel herself. But this time it was not like that.
"I'd like that very much – we must do it again soon!"
Due to the smile on his face which appeared, she could not help but ask herself if he knew that.
"Wonderful! Just wonderful," he beamed with his heart showing on his face.
She took his arm and they made there way back to the big house. The truth was she had no idea if she truly liked him in the manner though she had good cause to believe he liked her. But she was willing to find out.
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