A/N: Well, this took longer than I thought it would. I kind of rewrote the middle of it over the Thanksgiving holiday and am much happier with the finished product. Hope you are just as happy with it. There are some fun references I really enjoyed writing. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and alerted.
"Welcome to Stars Hollow," Jess said as they got out of their cars in front of the Dragonfly Inn.
"Dude, I feel like I woke up in an episode of that Andy Griffith show," Mike said, taking in his surroundings.
"More like The Music Man," Chris commented. "What is this place?"
"The Dragonfly Inn. Rory's mom owns it. I figured she'd know what to do with her car," Jess said as he walked up the steps to the inn.
"Oh, dear. I should hide the good silverware," the man behind the desk said in disinterest.
"Was that French accent for real?" Chris asked.
"Was that whole guy for real?" Mike asked.
"Unfortunately, yes," Jess answered as Michel disappeared around a corner.
"Dude, look over there. Pretty lady," Mike said, nudging Chris in the ribs.
Jess turned around just in time to see Lorelai coming toward him with a smile bright enough to light up Manhattan. He grunted as she hugged him tightly and said, "Jess! You're back. It's so good to see you!"
"Uh, okay," he replied, reluctantly returning her hug.
"Are you going to introduce us, or do we just get to stand here?" Chris asked.
"Right, this is Rory's mom, Lorelai. Lorelai, this is Chris and Mike. They followed me here. Couldn't stop 'em."
"You're pretty," Mike blurted as he shook her hand.
"Smooth," Chris muttered.
Lorelai laughed and said, "You're the one I talked to on the phone, aren't you?"
"Uh, yeah."
"I figured," she replied. "Where are the keys, lover-boy?"
"The Jeep's in the shop, isn't it?" Jess asked as he handed over the keys.
"Ooo, psychic abilities now. You're just becoming more and more impressive everyday."
"Uh-huh, sure," Jess replied incredulously. "We were just gonna walk around town for a while, so can we leave our car here?"
"Oh, sure. So I guess you're taking them on the Jess Mariano memorial crime tour?"
He glared at her in response.
"What you guys need is a tour guide that actually likes this town," Lorelai told the newcomers.
"I like this town fine."
"Liar."
"Yeah."
"Some things never change."
"Do you always talk that quickly?" Chris asked.
"Hey, life's short. Talk fast."
"The Gilmore maxim."
"Oh, how long are you staying?"
"We were gonna leave tonight."
"Can you stay overnight, or something, because Sookie wanted to make you dinner?"
"Huh?"
"Who's Sookie?" Mike asked with a raised hand.
"She's the chef here at the inn," Lorelai explained quickly.
"Why would Sookie want to cook me dinner?"
"Well…the last time you were here it was during the holidays and it was hectic and she didn't even get to see you and now you're back and that's as good an excuse as any for Sookie to make a whole bunch of food so she wanted to do it tonight, so can you?"
"I don't know."
"We can stay," Chris answered.
"But—"
"I outrank you," Chris reminded him. "Matt can make it until tomorrow afternoon. Besides, free food."
"Awesome!" Mike exclaimed.
"Fine. I guess we'll just crash at Luke's," Jess relented.
"Yeah, that'll work," Lorelai replied happily. "Just let me grab my coat and I'll take you on a real tour of the town."
Jess motioned for the guys to wait outside as he followed Lorelai to her office. "Okay, what the hell is actually going on here?" he asked her.
"What are you talking about?"
"Sookie making me dinner? Pretty sure Sookie hates me as much as the rest of this town."
"Just because you skipped out on the last dinner she made you does not mean she hates you."
"Lorelai, please. Could you just tell me the truth before Kirk hits me in the forehead with it?"
"Fine," Lorelai said as she pulled on her coat. "My idea was actually just to have Luke make dinner at the diner or something and have you actually share a room and a meal with your mother for at least an hour. And you'll like Doula if you give her a chance. She's like your female mini-me."
"So, how did you get from Luke to Sookie?"
"Well," she began, her face tightening into false comfort, "Friday night, after Rory took off for Philadelphia, Luke told me about Dean, and we went to his apartment, and I might have gotten a little loud with him."
"Meaning the whole state of Connecticut heard you?"
"Probably," Lorelai answered sheepishly. "Anyway, the story reached Miss Patty's ears, and so now the whole town thinks you were being quite gallant for trying to protect Rory's feelings like that. I, however, think you were just being stupid. Regardless, Sookie offered to make you dinner and here we are."
Jess chuckled and shook his head. "This town is so weird."
"If it makes you feel better, I'm sure Taylor still hates you and Kirk will run at the sight of you."
"Thanks. I would hate for one good deed to wipe out all my street cred."
"Hey, I'm gonna look in here," Jess said when the foursome was in front of Stars Hollow Books.
"Okay, I'll just take them on to Luke's."
"Yeah, I'll meet you there," he said before ducking into the store.
Jess' love affair with books was different from Rory's. She liked to read because every word taught her something new and exciting and there was nothing Rory liked more than learning. Jess just liked the smell of paper. That was how it started. Then he liked the escape the words on the page could give him. He lived in one of the most diverse cities in the world for most of his life and he still felt trapped until he read his first book. He didn't want to learn from books; he wanted to live in books.
"You're back in town?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Just for the day," he told Andrew.
"Well, you know where everything is. Don't steal anything."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
He looked around for a minute before he realized the selection wasn't nearly as good as it used to be. Foot-wide gaps existed on every shelf. The Shakespeare section was scant and the popular fiction shelves only contained several copies of each of the Twilight novels, two copies of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, a lonely copy of the last Percy Jackson and the Olympians book, and, oddly, The Subsect.
"What is this doing up here?" Jess asked, holding up the copy of his book.
"Oh, I think Luke brought it in a few months ago."
"Huh. Nice to know he still loves me," Jess muttered, re-shelving the book.
"I think he just wanted other people to read it," Andrew offered helpfully.
"That's nice because only about six people have read it…or need to."
"Don't beat yourself up. I liked it."
"You read it?" Jess asked incredulously.
"Of course. I didn't put it there, though. Rory did that last week and threatened me with bodily harm if I moved it."
Jess allowed himself a satisfied smirk before moving on. "What's with all the empty shelves? The Bard's getting lonely back there."
"I'm moving."
"To Plum Street?"
"To New York."
"Really?"
"Yeah, an old buddy of mine is opening up a shop in the Village, and the kids have graduated, so there's nothing holding me here, so I decided to join him."
"Wow."
"I know. Big move, but it's not like I was serving the literati of the world from Stars Hollow."
"Aw, don't beat yourself up," Jess repeated with a hint of sarcasm.
"Are you going to buy anything?"
"Uh…I'm not into vampires, so probably not."
"Then will you please leave?"
"Fine," Jess said, smirking. As he walked toward Luke's, he looked back on the bookstore with a new air of sadness while a few stray thoughts tickled romantic notions into his brain.
"Dude, your mom looks like Diane Keaton!"
"Huh?" Jess asked as he hung his jacket on the coat tree by the door of the diner.
"Give it a rest, Mike," Chris told him.
"She looked more like Diane Keaton than his dad looked like Al Pacino," Mike continued excitedly.
"What's his deal?" Lorelai asked Jess.
"He's racist."
"I am not!"
"You totally are," Chris confirmed.
"He thinks everyone that's marginally Italian is in the mafia," Jess explained to Lorelai.
"I do not! But look at you! And you're from New York!"
"But he moved to Philadelphia, which means he's really just interested in going the distance," Lorelai told them.
They blinked and Mike and Chris said, "Huh?" in unison.
"My God, did none of you see the first Rocky movie?"
"Before our time," Jess told her, "and it was kind of lame, especially for you."
"I have been off my game lately," she admitted.
"So, is Liz here?" Jess asked, looking around the diner.
"No, she was going grocery shopping, and Doula is apparently related to you because she has a tendency to just take things off of shelves."
Jess rolled his eyes at her.
"She's just over at that table coloring," Lorelai told him, motioning over her shoulder. "You should go talk to her."
"That's okay," Jess replied dismissively.
"If you don't, I'll call your girlfriend and have her guilt trip you into it," Lorelai threatened, waving her cell phone in his face.
"That is so mature."
"Hello! Since when have I been the mature one? Now, go!" she said, shoving him toward his sister.
"Okay…his family is officially more dysfunctional than the Corleones," Mike declared as Cesar delivered their food.
"Eat, stoner boy," Lorelai ordered.
"I know you," Doula said, looking up from her coloring page.
"Do ya now?" Jess asked sitting down across from her.
"You my brother. I only seen you in pictures."
"Then we're even. I haven't seen a picture of you since you were first born. You're bigger now."
"Yes, I am," she replied, reaching for one of the menus on the table and opening it.
"You can read?" Jess asked incredulously.
"No. I just like words better 'an pictures."
Jess smiled at that. "What's your favorite?" he asked, leaning across the table.
"Vernacular," she said slowly and deliberately.
"Where did you hear a word like that?"
"Did you do that?" Luke asked, motioning his head toward Jess and Doula.
Lorelai smiled mischievously and nodded as he filled up her cup. "I'm brilliant. It's why you love me."
"One of many reasons," Luke assured her before kissing her quickly.
"Dude, they're gonna be step-cousins!" Mike muttered to Chris. "This place is totally whacked-out."
"You're totally whacked-out," Chris muttered back.
Rory looked down at her phone and smiled.
"Ugh," Amelia groaned dramatically. "You're so sickening. All he has to do is call and you're all schoolgirl-y."
"Oh, shut up," Rory muttered before answering her phone. "Hey, you."
"Hey," Jess' voice said back. "Just thought I'd tell you I took your copy of The Sound and the Fury."
"How'd you get in the house?"
"The entire eastern sea board knows where your mother keeps the spare key. Andrew is closing the bookstore, so your collection was my only option."
"Mom told me about Andrew. I nearly cried."
"I would have, but I am way too cool," Jess told her. "Your mom shanghaied me into dinner with Liz tonight."
"I know."
"You got a crystal ball in that car with you?"
"I have a cell phone and a very sharing mother," Rory explained.
"Warning would have been nice."
"Tough."
"Cruel woman."
"I'm proud of you," Rory said seriously after a short pause.
"For what?" Jess asked, clearly surprised.
"For volunteering to go to Stars Hollow. I know you hate it."
"It has its good points."
Rory smiled. "Sounds like somebody met their baby sister."
"Yeah, I met her."
She could hear the smile in his voice. "You adore her, don't you?"
"Eh, she's better than some little sisters I've met."
Rory rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"Her favorite word is vernacular," Jess said. "What toddler's favorite word is vernacular?"
"Apparently Doula's," she replied.
"I wish you were here."
"I wish I was there too."
"Oh my God! I'm gonna fall into a diabetic coma if you guys keep this up!"
"I should go before Amelia melts down on me. Don't try bailing out the window tonight."
"I won't. Love you."
"Love you, too."
Amelia rolled her eyes as Rory snapped her phone shut. "Seriously, you guys are disgusting."
"Jess! You're bulkier! In a good way," Sookie quickly added, giggling nervously.
"Uh…thank you," Jess answered uncertainly.
"You do do dairy, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, I do."
"I'm lactose intolerant," Mike said, earning him rolled eyes from Jess, an elbow in the ribs from Chris and a giggle from Lorelai.
"Oh, that's fine. We'll just put you on the Kirk menu," Sookie said before rushing back to the kitchen.
"He's kind of your Kirk, isn't he?" Lorelai whispered to Jess.
"Yeah, he even runs around naked sometimes."
"Jess!" Doula cried, running in ahead of her mother and uncle.
"Hey," Jess replied, picking her up.
"Oh my gosh!" Lorelai practically squealed, tears forming in her eyes.
"What is wrong with you?" Luke asked, brow furrowed in confusion.
"Nothing. Just had a weird, emotional moment. It's over now," she explained. "Where's TJ?"
"Oh, he had to help his brother move his business. He'll be gone for a couple of days," Liz answered.
"Really?" Jess asked, trying not to sound too overjoyed.
"Don't get so excited," his mother told him before lightly smacking his face. "How you doing, kiddo?"
"I'm good, Liz," he assured her as Doula rested her head on his shoulder.
The group started to walk into the dining room when Michel called out, "Phone for you, Lorelai. It is your mother."
"Can you take a message?"
"Can I? Yes. Will I? No."
"Ugh," she groaned before walking back to the front desk.
They started dinner without Lorelai because Sookie just couldn't wait. She made pot roast with all the trimmings and several varieties grilled cheese sandwiches. It was much like the first dinner party Lorelai threw for Jess except there were even more people present. Jackson and Sookie had their kids, and Lane and Zach were present with their boys and their bass player, Brian.
When Lorelai finally got to the table, she handed Jess an opened bottle of beer and said, "So you don't have to steal one."
"What's that all about?" Chris asked.
"He stole a beer from my fridge the first time he came over to my house," Lorelai explained as she took her seat.
"Wow, Jess. You were a beer stealer, a gnome thief, and a fake murderer. You were so much more interesting when you were troubled," Chris told him.
"What else did he do?" Mike asked.
Everyone started talking at once and Jess glared at Lorelai. "You're gonna make me sit here and take this, aren't you."
She smiled her best million-watt smile and said, "Of course I am."
Doula ate her mousse cake while sitting in Jess' lap. Lorelai smiled at the sight of them.
"You know, I never thought you'd be good with kids," she told him.
"I'm not. She's just weird," Jess replied, pointing at the little girl on his lap.
"Meany," Doula declared before sticking her tongue out at him.
"Don't do that, sweetie. It's disgusting," Liz admonished.
"Don't let him fool you Ms. Gilmore," Chris said between bites. "The Fletcher kids—they live above us—they all love Jess.
"They do not," Jess protested, reddening at the ears.
"Yeah, they do," Mike corrected. "You don't talk to them like they're all two. You act like they're just short people and they adore you for it."
"Awww," Lorelai cooed.
"And once again the fool speaks wisdom," Chris pronounced dramatically, earning him a smack on the back of the head from Jess.
"Okay, I'm stuffed to the gills and it's way past this one's bedtime," Liz said, standing and motioning toward the toddler in her son's arms. "Say goodnight, Doula."
"Goodnight, Doula," the little girl repeated.
"Oh dear God," Liz muttered, picking up her daughter as everyone chuckled at the smart-aleck remark.
"You call me anytime, okay? And come and see your sister occasionally."
"Sure, Liz," Jess replied with a half-hearted smile. Luke looked at him dubiously, but didn't say anything.
Zach and Brian said their goodbyes, each of them holding a child. Lane was holding something behind her back when she asked to speak to Jess in entry hall.
"Can I be honest?" she asked.
"You usually are, unless your mother is involved," he replied.
"I never thought you were good enough for Rory."
Jess looked down at his shoes.
"But I also thought no one fit Rory quite as well as you."
He managed to meet her smiling eyes.
"You're okay, Mariano. Just thought you should know."
"Thanks," he replied simply.
"We trawled every record store in England and found three copies of this, and I thought you might like to have one," she said, handing him the LP she had hidden behind her back.
"Oh my God," he breathed, examining the worn cover of the original issue of London Calling.
"It still plays. We figured you could use it to back up one of your readings or something."
"Are you kidding? This'll be the whole show. Thanks, Lane," Jess said, flipping it over to examine the back.
"Welcome home, Jess," she said before hugging him quickly and following her husband and band mate out the door.
Jess stared after her. Her choice of words landed fuzzily on his brain, and he vaguely wondered if he had indeed found a home in a place he once considered hell.
"What was your mother calling about earlier tonight?"
"Oh, you know, guilt-tripping me about not coming to dinner on Friday, not telling her about Rory's car accident, not telling her about Rory going to Detroit for a story, and for being a disappointment in general. You know, the usual," Lorelai said as she climbed in under the covers. "If she somehow managed to find out about Dean causing the wreck, and Jess being back in town so soon, she probably would have mentioned that too. I swear, sometimes I don't think we're related."
"You think you'll make nice before the wedding?"
"Maybe."
"You think you could try?"
"Why do you suddenly care so much whether me and my parents are getting along?"
"I don't know. I just think it would be nice to have one set of parents present at our wedding. Mine won't be there without benefit of divine intervention."
"You're sweet," she said, kissing him on the cheek.
"Does this mean you'll make up in the next two weeks?"
"I'll do my best."
Lorelai tossed and turned while Luke slept deeply next to her. At around two in the morning, she pushed off the covers, pulled on her boots, grabbed her coat, left Luke a note in case he actually woke up, and set out into the New England chill. She smiled when she saw the lights on at the diner.
"Hey there, crazy hair," she said to the young man scribbling in a notebook behind the counter.
"My hair's not that crazy anymore," he told her.
"Eh, it rhymes."
"Is it too early or too late for coffee?"
"Never too early or too late for coffee," she said as she sat down on a stool.
Jess poured her a cup and let the comfortable silence hang in the air.
"Whatcha doing up so late, slugger?"
"What's with all the nick-names?"
"Well, I figured I should expand beyond hoodlum, hooligan, and other words that begin with 'h'."
"Very considerate of you."
"I'm in the hospitality industry. So what are you doing up at this hour?"
"Couldn't sleep. Got a text from Rory saying she uploaded her first video. Don't think she intended for me to watch it at two in the morning, but that's what I did. What's with you, Lorelai?"
"I don't know. I've just had this weird insomnia lately. Maybe it's because your uncle snores."
"I know. I lived with him in a one-room apartment for two years," he replied, pointing upward.
"You snore too, by the way."
"I've been told."
"Oh! Did Luke get you to get your fitting for your tux?"
"Yes. He dragged me halfway down the street by my shirt collar before he realized it wasn't necessary."
"Awww…I love my take-charge honey. So why couldn't you sleep?"
"Just something Lane said."
"Did Lane say something mean to you?" Lorelai asked jokingly.
"She said welcome home."
"How awful of her," she deadpanned.
"Well, it just got me to thinking what home actually was. I mean, I love Truncheon, and Philly is great, but I don't love it the way I loved New York. And New York, it doesn't feel right anymore either, which is completely insane. I hated this place. Hated it, and it hated me right back, and I was fine with that arrangement. But now…it feels…comfortable, and it's kind of freaking me out."
"This town does have that effect on people," Lorelai explained. "You know, I'd never really been anywhere without my parents before I ran away and landed here. This town took me in, finished raising me, and helped me raise my daughter. The whole place could burn to the ground, and I still wouldn't leave."
"That's just because you're stubborn."
"You're not exactly a pushover yourself, mister. I think that's why I…disliked you so much when you first came to town. You were just too damned much like me."
"You tried to tell me that once."
"You didn't listen. I don't know why I was surprised you didn't listen at the time. I wouldn't have listened when I was that age."
"But you didn't get mad at me that night because I wasn't listening to you," he told her.
"What?" she asked in mock insult.
"You got mad because I accused you of sleeping with Luke."
"Which was completely unfounded, I might add."
"In no variation of the English language does the word incredibly have seven syllables."
"It was not seven syllables."
"It was pretty close, and I obviously had a better handle on things than you gave me credit for."
"How do you figure?"
"Well, you're sleeping with him now."
"Ha! I am not sleeping with him. I'm sitting here, drinking coffee."
"That's because your tastes have obviously shifted to younger and much better looking men."
She reached up and smacked him on the head. He shoved her hand away saying, "There's a nurse in Philly that will be very mad if I break my stitches again."
Lorelai's face softened. "Did he deserve it?"
"Yeah, he deserved it," Jess replied, meeting her eyes.
She groaned slightly and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I guess the lack of sleep is just catching up with me."
"You want a ride back to the house?"
"No, I—"
Jess barely made it around the counter in time to catch Lorelai before she collapsed onto the cold diner floor.
