Just a little note: Some of the dialogue in this chapter is from one of the episodes, and some of it I mixed in there myself. Those of you who know the episodes well will know what is Kurt and the other SOA writers and what is new which is mine.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SOA characters in this story, they all belong to Kurt Sutter, Veronica "Ronnie" Seglar and Gia are my OFC's.
Hope you like this one kind of got away from me again….read and review if you don't mind
We got to the garage and met up with everyone, we all got suited up and ammo and guns and loaded up in the black unmarked van. I wasn't nervous but I was anxious. I wanted somebody's head for wanting to kill Jax and shooting me.
We got to their warehouse, and found that it wasn't heavily guarded. Jax took out the electricity to the building, and Opie cut the phone lines and security alarm wires. I stayed outside with Tig and Juice while the others went in. They were in for a while before we saw them come out, It was Jax and Clay that were headed back towards us, Clay in front of Jax and I saw a figure creep out as Jax walked passed a dumpster, I saw an arm go up and I reacted instantly. I fired two shots and the figure dropped and Jax hit the ground.
"You hit?" I asked as I came up to Jax and Tig covered me while I checked him.
"No, just scared the shit out of me." He said when I knew he was okay I made steps towards the body I did hit and it was rolling around. I kicked the gun out of his range, and kicked him over so I could see who it was.
It was a white man, with NORD tats all over. What the hell was one of Darby's men doing here? I aimed my gun to his head as blood started to spill from his mouth, and I shot twice ending any doubt that he was going to live.
"Let's go, it's time to get out of here." Clay said coming over to me, he has seen what I had done and nodded at me. He guided me with his hand as I failed to move after his first command.
"Count it down." Jax told Opie as we all got in the van. I sat down and put my piece in my lap and just started at it. It had been a while since I had been in the business of killing people, even with the guy in Vegas it wasn't something I had set out to revive from my past, but one I knew would be vital if I was going to fully be a member of this club and take my father's place.
As we pulled away, Opie hit a button and the thunderous boom went off and the orange and red lights filled the night skye, it was almost like watching a how I wanted to feel. I wanted to explode, I wanted to just let all the frustration and anger blow, it was almost therapeutic.
We all went back to the club house and uploaded in the van, and decided that we should all go home, act normal and if possible stop in somewhere and try and get an alibi. Most of us went out for a drink, Clay and Gemma went home and the rest of the guys stayed at the club house.
Jax was glued to my side, and I decided that after what we just did, it was probably better not be alone.
When the local bar closed and it was time to go home, I knew Jax was prepared to come home with me, but he was called away by Clay. He didn't say why but told me he would see me tomorrow. I wasn't however left alone, I was given Juice and that was okay with me, I didn't mind Juice. He was nice, funny, and we had some stuff in common. Plus I knew he wouldn't hover over me like Jax would have and I had so much on my mind.
I set him up on my couch when we got there, and plugged my cell in on the kitchen counter. It has been a long day and I just wanted more pain meds and to get some rest.
I was awake before the sun. I hadn't slept really well, and it wasn't due to my wounds, the pain was surprisingly less than the day before. Still very tender to the touch, but I could now move around a little bit better and wasn't as delicate as I had been the past couple of days.
I left Juice a note letting him know that I had gone into the shop early and that if anyone got there before him, I was leaving my cell with him and telling everyone that I left it at home and sent him back for it. I didn't want to get Juice in trouble, but I needed to get out and do something, if I wasn't still healing I would have gone for a run to clear my head, but being that was out of the question I decided working on the billing and invoices for Teller- Morrow would help me either sort out the things in my head or let me forget about them for a while.
I got to the shop and opened everything up, and started to try and make sense of the mess that I had already cleaned up once. I had resort the invoices into several different piles, and being that the office was small, I had them all over, it was also apart of my brilliant plan to boobie trap it so I wouldn't be bothered.
I was so torn inside. Kissing Jax and being with him like that, more than childhood friends surprisingly wasn't weird to me at all, it wasn't really what was conflicting me. What I couldn't let go was everything else. What if I allowed myself to open my heart to Jax, and we didn't work out, where would that leave the club? He was basically the prince of the Club and who it was designed to go to when Clay steps down, he can't very well be expected to leave and this was my home, and as much as it would kill me I would have to be the one to go. And what about all things that I wasn't supposed to worry about.
My mother was an old lady for ten years before my dad married her. Granted they were high school sweethearts, but what I never got over, but saw more often then not were the business runs. The rule of the club, unwritten of course but seemed to be accepted by everyone was "what happened out on a business run, stayed on the run." As long as it never came back home with them it was acceptable for the Sons to seek out ladies for attention while they were away from home. And yes I grew up mostly around all of this and knew it, but being that I didn't go through love for the first time around the club I wasn't sure that I could be okay with that part of it.
Gia always told me that is why I never had anyone because I never let them close enough, let alone kept them around long enough. I had let one person in before and he completely destroyed my heart, my body and any soul I may have had at one time, was definitely shattered. It took me a long time to recover from that. It took a long time for me to stand alone again and I vowed I would never love again.
And as much I know Jax would never intentionally hurt me, it was the unwritten and unknown things that would happen that frightened me the most.
"Thanks for the note." I heard taking me from my thoughts.
"Thank you for not coming in here yelling at me cause left without waking you, just needed some alone time. I forgot you don't get much of that when you are here." I said placing a new stack of papers on the floor.
"You feeling okay? I brought your pain meds if you need one?" Juice said as he shook the bottle making the pills in rattle.
"I took one this morning when I got up and am okay for now, but can you put them on top of the file cabinet in case I need them later?" I asked motioning with the next stack of papers I was sorting. He smiled and put them up there. "There's breakfast on the bar if you are hungry." I said knowing he was a boy, of course he was hungry.
"Thanks," He smile got bigger and we both heard numerous bike engines pull into the driveway. Juice took off and left me to get back to work. I saw Jax's bike when I came in this morning, and knew he was here but up in his room, and knew now that most of the club was pulling in he would be up soon, I just wasn't sure why I was dreading that so much.
The noise from the boys opening up the big garage doors was enough for me to grab my ipod and turn it up, I just wanted to be left alone, and I knew that wasn't happening so I blocked out as much as I could with my music for the short time I knew it would have to do.
"Morning, you doing okay?" I heard as the battery on my ipod died.
"Morning, yeah I am okay Op." I was happy to see him but I knew I would be answering that same question for the rest of the day and I was already sick of it.
"Whoa!" I heard as I looked up and saw the prospect and Chibs heading for the inside of the sanctuary.
"Take one more step and I will make you into no sack." I said throwing him a look that told him to make her day and do it.
"Sorry…" He said frowning
"What's all this lovie?" Chibs asked as he was looked around. It must have looked like a puzzle or something with the look of confusion I got from him.
"This has taken me four hours to get organized and I am almost done. Until I am done, this is a no walking zone."
I said throwing my hair up in a messy bun on top of my head.
"You sure you don't want any help?" Opie asked as he tried not to laugh in my face at me neurotic behavior.
"Sure, you can all go eat the breakfast I bought and leave me to finish up." I said with a smile and batted my eyes, and they all looked and one another and took off for the club house. If there was one thing I knew about my boys was if you want them gone or behaved all you had to do was feed them.
"What's all this?" I heard and looked up.
"I thought I would redecorate." I said shrugging my shoulders and blowing my bangs out of my eyes. He looked amazing, always did. His smile was warm and I could tell he wanted to come in.
"How you feeling?" There it is, that stupid question.
"Better, thanks." I said smiling back. I was enjoying the distance between us though, I wasn't ready to touch him or have him touch me, I still was very tangled inside about what was best for me, for the club and for Jax.
"You got time to talk?" He asked and I knew that look. I didn't want to talk but how was going to tell him that, it would only cause an argument and I didn't have the energy to have a decent one.
"Depends, what's the topic?" I said pretending to be really concentrating on the papers in front of me when I was only half committed to reading it.
"Well I kinda confessed something pretty important to you yesterday, something I have only said to two women in my whole life…and you have yet to say anything about it…" He paused. I didn't have to look at him know to that he was smiling and that he was also nervous, and I suddenly felt like the worst person on the face of the planet.
"I remember, it was a beautiful moment." I said forcing myself to look at him over my shoulder as he had switched doorways for more privacy. I smiled and then returned my eyes to what I was doing.
"Do you have anything to say to me?" He said poking and hinting at me to say it back and I wanted to, but the thought of the words leaving my heart and out into the world, admitting it outloud scared the shit outta me and I didn't think I could do it
"Jax, what exactly is it that you want me to say?" I said turning around to face him, I slowly got up, I had to push on my left arm and it shot pain throughout my back, I made a face and Jax started to come in and I gestured for him to stop.
"How about how you feel? Do you love me? Do you want to be with me?" Jax said, I could tell that he wasn't happy about me keeping my distance right now, and hiding behind the paperwork was a sad excuse that I think he was catching on to.
"Jax, I have always loved you, you me and Op we are like…" I started to explain and he cut me off.
"Cut the bull shit, it's me your talking to. This isn't about you me and Opie. This is about you and me, and the fact that I love you and I know you love me too, but for some reason you are hiding it from me and it, now I wanna know why." He said as all the happiness was draining from him and confusion and hurt was creeping in. I knew after Tara it took a lot for him to say what he was feeling let alone admit what he was feeling but it would have been ten times worse if I would have lied to him about it and then waited for things to go bad to then explain it.
"Jax, I…I…" I said as the tears that has been produced in my stomach were now flooding my eyes.
"Shh, don't cry Ronnie, just tell me what I already know…" He said as he walked into the office, all over my paperwork, I wasn't sure what irritated me more, the fact that he was on what took me five hours to complete or he was making me face emotions I was trying to suppress. "Ronnie, I know you love me, I can see it in your eyes, I can feel it when we touch, and that kiss last night, I have never felt anything like that before, not even with Tara. I don't know what's stopping you from telling me, and I won't push you for now, but just promise me that what I am feeling from you is real, we can work on the words later." He said pushing my chin up towards him so that our eyes met.
"I promise." It was safe enough where I wasn't lying to him or myself, but I didn't have to deal with emotions in my past that I was trying to avoid. He went in to kiss me when a car horn, that was flaring over and over in the background, we both looked out the open office door and saw Gemma pull up.
I let go of Jax and headed out the door, Gemma never pulled up like this something must have been wrong. Clay was walking up to me as Gemma parked.
"Where's the fire baby?" Clay asked as he held out his arms to receive Gemma but stopped just outside of her car door.
"I've trying to call the cell phones and prepaids." Gemma said as she looked over to Jax who was standing behind me.
"What's going on?" Jax asked from there everything started spinning.
I fought tooth and nail to stay back at the shop but neither Clay nor Jax would let me, Jax insisted that I go with, threaten to knock me out and carry me there if I didn't come willingly.
"Where is everyone?" I heard as Gemma say as I was being guided down the hallway by Clay, everyone was on a mission, and I didn't blame them I just felt out of place, extremely uncomfortable.
"Jax…" we all heard as we rounded a corner. And there like a ghost she stood in a white lab coat, hair pulled back and looking beautiful as ever…my heart dropped straight into my stomach.
"Tara?" Jax said and Gemma pulled me near.
"Tara, do you know anything, where are they?" Jax was panicked, nervous and scared, I was surprised he was able to form a sentence. She signaled for everyone to follow her, we went down a hallway and made a right a few feet after that she showed us a room, where Wendy laid motionless.
"Is she?" Clay asked not being able to finish the sentence.
"No, she's resting. She overdosed which cause a major hemorrhage on her uterus." Tara explained not once looking away from Jax. "The tox screens haven't come back but I am pretty sure it was Herroine." Tara said as she waited for more questions.
"My baby, is he?" Jax couldn't bring himself to say the words and I couldn't stand to hear it so I was glad that didn't.
"He's alive but it's not good. Because of the continued drug abuse there is a tear in his abdomen, and they also found a congenital heart defect…" Tara explained before she was interrupted.
"What does that mean?" Gemma asked not liking the way this was going.
"It means he has a hole in his heart." Tara said trying to remain clam.
"Is that from the drugs too?" Clay asked his jaw clenching together.
"No it's congenital, so that means…" Tara started to explain but was interrupted.
"It was passed on genetically." Gemma said feeling a sudden rush of guilt, she knew that her damn heat issues would be a deamon she would never be able to get rid of.
"I can't fucking believe this, I should have kept a better watch over her." Jax said as he started to blame himself, Clay walked over to where I was and put an arm around me and we both watched the scene in front of us.
"Her OBGYN told me that she missed her last three appointments." Tara said making sure devluged all of the information she had.
"He is in surgery now, Dr. Navid is the best we have here at St. Thomas. The surgery he is in right now is trying to repair his tummy. We will wait 24 hours after this surgery, if he stays strong we will go back in to repair the heart. If you don't mind…" Tara asked looking to Jax, I was lost but he knew exactly what she was asking.
"You do whatever you have to." Jax said starting to feel numb from the rush of hurt he was experiencing. I wanted to hold him, tell him things were gonna be okay, but I wasn't sure what to do.
"So if you fix his heart and his belly he will be okay then?" Gemma asked desperately needing some good news.
"I'm not gonna lie, with one or the other problems there is a high risk he will be fine, but the two together Dr. Navid gives him a 20% chance and that is being optimistic…" She said and Jax almost lost it. "Jax I will do everything I can to save your son." She said putting her hand on his.
"His name is Abel." Jax said wiping away at the tears he let slip down his face.
"I want to, I want to help your son." Tara said as she grabbed for her mask. "I will let you know the moment I know something, I'm so sorry Jax." He nodded and watched her walk through the double door. When she was gone, I watched Jax release a few tears, then turn and look at me and Clay.
"Take her and Gemma back to the garage and call Trigger and Bobby, have them meet over at the pool hall." Jax said as he took off down the hallway of the hospital. I looked at Clay and had no words but I knew I had to do something.
"Take Gemma back and make the call, I will stay here with Wendy, someone should be here when she wakes up and I will call as soon as the baby is out of surgery." I said in a tone where not even Clay knew to question me on it. He nodded and gave me a pre paid. I watched them leave as well and suddenly had no idea was I was thinking.
It was hours later when I nurse came out and told me the baby was out of the first surgery and it went well, the baby would be in recovery for the next 24 hours but that immediate family would be able to go in. I called Gemma and had her pass on the message. She told me she was on her way back to the hospital.
I went back into Wendy's room after I called Gemma, and stood at the end of her bed. I was whirling through emotions, I was angry, I was sad, I was disappointed, and I was disgusted. How could she do this to her son? How could she be so selfish, but there was a part of me that felt bad for her. Maybe if she and Jax had worked out and not gotten a divorce maybe she wouldn't have turned back to the drugs.
I was lost in my own thoughts but brought out of them by a moaning sound, Wendy was waking up. I wasn't sure what to do or what to say but I knew in my heart that no one should have to wake up alone after what she just went through, no matter how much it was her fault.
"Ronnie?" Wendy's voice was scratchy and horse she was confused as she looked me over and before I could say anything, her hands went to her now flatter stomach and she panicked.
"OH GOD…MY BABY….Ronnie…." She started to panic.
"He's okay Wendy." I said as I went to the side of the bed and grabbed her hand. I didn't know what I was doing, I should be beating the crap out of her what she almost did to Jax's son but I couldn't be completely cold to her for some reason.
"He's alive?" She asked desperately trying to have some good news.
"Yes, for now. He had a tear in his belly but they fixed that with surgery, they are giving him 24 hours if he pulls through they are also going into to fix the problem with his heart." I said and there was instant relief on her face and through out her body.
"Oh thank god." Wendy said squeezing my hand and calming down. I felt the knots in my stomach start form as I felt like I was in the middle of something terrible and I hated it.
"What you should know is Jax, Gemma and Clay have all been here and know what happened, I just thought you should know before they come back, Gemma is on her way now." I said as the door opened again and a uniform officer and a woman in a suit came in.
"Wendy Teller?" The woman in the suit asked. Wendy looked at me then nodded her head to the woman.
"I'll just be outside." I said as I tried to walk around the bed but Wendy grabbed me back and told me to stay.
"Mrs. Teller, I am Alisha Tyler I am with child protective services, and this officer Mohr. Because of the incident and the drugs in your system I am here to serve you with some news, papers, and information." The woman said reaching into bag and pulling out papers.
"What's this all about?" Wendy asked gripping tighter and tighter to my hand.
"Because of the Heinous nature of what you did combined with the possible charges against you, the state is relieving you of your parental rights. You can try and get them back if you ever get your life together, when the child is healthy it will be put into the child foster care system." The woman said handing over sheet after sheet of paper work.
"Wait, you can't do this!" Wendy cried out.
"She's right, the baby has a father and he is more than capable of taking care of the baby. Him and his family are more than qualified." I said backing Wendy up.
"Where is he?" She asked smugly.
"He and his family are on their way now." I confirmed. The woman pulled out a form and started to fill it out.
"This is a order for paternity, if he turns out to be the father and can prove to be financially and mentally stable the state will gladly provide him all parental rights. Here is my card, the hospital will notify me with the results and then I will submit the paper work. I look forward to hearing from him." She said and started to walk away.
"Wait! What are these charges?" Wendy didn't see any mention of it in the paperwork.
"From what the DA tells me, reckless endangerment of a child and premeditated homicide." The woman said and then excused her and her and the uniform officer left. I flipped open my phone and called Gemma.
I told her about child services and she told me she was going to get a hold of Jax, and that when she got there I had to leave because there was church and I was required to be there. I knew that this had something to do with the trip to Nevada and I knew that it was important.
