"Touch me and then turn away

And put your hands into the flame.

Tell me if you feel this pain

'Cause I don't want to be a ball and chain."

Chapter Eleven

Two days.

It took two days before Todd and Brian returned from the diversion to lead the crowd of dead from the apartment complex. Two days, the longest I had ever felt completely, and utterly helpless. While we allowed April and Tara to grieve in some semblance of privacy, Philip and Michael moved most of us to the next room over to discuss our plan of action for searching through the floors to retrieve supplies now that the building was clear. I barely listened to a word and allowed everyone else to plan around me, feeling strangely alone in a group of people I'd barely known a month now with Todd gone. It was Neema who insisted I join the scout through the floors, interrupting Philip's careful inclination that I could remain back to watch Penny if I wanted. And I would have all too gratefully accepted; all I wanted to do was curl up inside this incapacitating fear that immobilized any of my other thoughts. Tim seemed reluctant to leave the grief-stricken siblings; April especially still weeped inconsolably over her parents dead corpses but was eventually pulled away into her sister's arms, the older of the two seemingly despaired more in silence. Ultimately, the boy conceded to join at Nick's offer to stay behind with the women and watch their backs. Apparently, Nick had attempted distracting a crowd of infected Michael had told us had been cluttering the fifth floor this whole time that could have potentially ambushed the other unsuspecting group below. In the middle of leading them through a chase back up the stairway, he had a close call when a corpse they thought they'd already killed grabbed a hold of his ankle when running by, causing poor Nick's ankle to twist so painfully it had him limping and cringing just to make it to a seat. Michael told us Tara had been the first to reach Nick in time to kill the infected about to deal him the lethal bite. At the sight of Nick's limp, I felt obliged to go and let the man rest his ankle, so I followed numbly along after Philip and Neema. It also seemed I wasn't the only one reluctant to delve amongst the abandoned floors as Milton looked downright peakish at being volunteered by Michael to join and looked like he was trying to contain from blanching when Philip gave him a knife he'd retrieved from the kitchen to arm himself. We all agreed we'd group up to make getting through the apartments quicker, just how we had to clear the eighth floor. Philip suggested we grab top priority essentials first, but briefly, and come back another time to do a more thorough sweep. I suspected he knew we were still in a state of shock and dragging our feet, either wanting to hurry so we could regroup back on our eighth floor or to return back to his daughter. Probably both if he was anywhere near an emotional wreck I was.

Everyone but the sisters, Nick and Penny, all started on going in and out of empty apartments. We worked from the floor we were already on until we finished every room, then Michael, Milton, and Tim split up to move on to the levels below while Philip, Neema and I worked our way up. Every door was either already busted open or unlocked from the groups earlier search and it was downright bone-chilling, sorting through peoples lives, picking apart what was of value and what would continue to remain behind the way they'd last been used. The pantries were what we focused on the most cleaning out, anything that could be cook or boiled was taken with us. We learned to avoid the refrigerators after Philip propped open one and we almost all practically were gassed with the rotten fumes mingled from decaying food that had been locked in a hot box for a month. Neema had found a stove-top pot that she decided to take to replace ours that took two or three more portions to make enough to feed everyone. She was also very efficient looking through the medicine cabinets and first aid kits without Philip having to mention them. I followed after her mutely, taking what she pushed at me to store in my bag obediently. Some rooms smelt fouler than others, depending on how many infected bodies occupied the apartment. We stepped around people with their brains bashed out, some old and some still freshly killed with blood still leaking through their skulls. In one apartment, a pair of freshly bashed open corpses were slumped over and piled against their copper-stained wood cabinets, yet their skin indicated they must had already been rotting for some time now. Philip moved the bodies to allow us to look and gather what was inside. I felt about to be sick when I saw one's head practically come apart like broken eggshells while being dragged, one of it's eyes hanging out of its socket by a thin string of nerves, It wasn't until Neema's feet almost slipped in the thick puddle of dark blood we had to walk in to get to the pantry did I have to stop and take long, heavy pulls of breathes to ease the threat of a sharp pull in my chest.

It was all so much; even with the experience of being an EMT couldn't have prepare me for all the gore we had to step through. I stumbled away to lean against the kitchen's doorway, turning my back to the others as my eyes shut to give me a chance to collect myself. I felt pathetic; Todd was the strong one in the face of all this, the one who could cope through the morbidity of it all. I also wonder if it had been his bat to crack down over the corpse's head. It had to take something to bash someones head open, with so much force at the state of that one corpse Philip just dragged. That had been a man, if not so now, it had once been. Was it just that easy to kill someone, so easily and so brutally- or was I just that weak?

I felt a hand on my shoulder, but I just continued to take steadying breaths until my heart stopped beating so painfully out of sync with my lungs. After a minute or so of collecting myself, I hadn't realized the hand had slipped from my back and turned around to see Philip and Neema finishing up gathering what they could from the panties. I noticed their bags were bulging, Philips couldn't even zip closed all the way. It seemed they had been able to locate a few plastic t-shirt bags and were beginning to stuff them with what they could. I felt embarrassed I had been on the brink of another asthma attack while they were hurrying to gather the supplies. Neema only whispered to ask if I was alright, offering a small pat on my hand when I nodded back guiltily and handed me a plastic bag to help finish.

There were a lot of apartments already cleaned out by their previous tenants, cabinets and first aid kits already gone. But there seemed to be a lot more left completely untouched. Philip suspected these people hadn't made it back to be able to collect any of their belongings or groceries. I wondered what state my dad's house was in; had he packed what he could and made it out of California's chaos with Jemma? Or was our house another abandoned place? I felt sick with so much dread, I traveled numbly throughout the couple floors we had to go through before Philip suggested we'd gotten enough for the day We climbed the stairway back down to the fifth floor, carrying as many of our bags as we could and deposited them into the room we prepared to climb out from to take the fire escape back up to our original eighth floor. While we waited for Philip to collect the last few bags we couldn't manage to bring on one trip, we went back to Tara and April's parents apartment to collect them. I was unsure if they would even agree to go back up with us, but we couldn't just leave them down here with the dead.

It appeared April had calmed down considerably, now quietly crying and still clutching onto Tara beside their parents's bodies that a blanket had now been laid over. Tara was considerably less vocal in her grief than her sister, reticent actually as she cradled her crying sister to her, her cheek pressed up against the girls tangled ginger hair as she stared off into the wall with dead eyes. Her tear trails had already dried.

It wasn't too much after we'd entered did Michael and Tim follow in with Milton trailing in after looking even paler than he'd left. Michael let us know they'd already put their bags in the other room and were ready to go, looking uncertainly down at the sisters still very upset. Philip entered almost right behind Milton, clapping the man on the shoulder before he went to collect Penny, the little girl practically curling around his legs as he embraced her return. At Michael's directed focus, Philip seemed just as disconcerted for the suffering women.

"You're all welcome to stay with us on the eighth," Michael began slowly, looking over to Philip who backed him up with a nod. "It's safer than down here... or out there."

"We can figure'a gentle way to handle their remains when our men get back," Philip added, his hand still rested upon his daughter. I wondered if he was touching what he cherished he still had.

At first, Tim looked uncertain and I could see he was struggling with himself when he turned to look down at what remained of his group. But Tara seemed to have awoken from her lost daze and was staring long and searching up at Philip and Michael. Her gaze still shined brightly with tears that never fell, but as her gaze traveled over us all, we watched her stop on Nick who was still sitting on a wood tablechair from across the room. The man hadn't even voiced a protest since he'd gotten back, which was awfully uncharacteristic, especially for Nick. It seemed when the two locked eyes, he didn't have a word to say against her this time and instead acknowledged her with a nod that I could've recognized as acceptance. Tara then returned the boys inquisitive stare with a nod of her own before she took a rattling sigh and gave her sisters arms a squeeze as she made to stand back up, hauling her sister up with her.

"We'll see how things work out," Tara rasped, her voice thick from crying. A lot of the attitude she had first arrived with earlier had dissipated and I couldn't help but relate to how deflated and defeated she looked. I figured she probably couldn't fathom heading back out into the hordes with her group in some a hopeless disposition anyways. I didn't know exactly what conspired between the groups while they were clearing the floors, but she didn't seem to be as distrustful of us as she had initially been. Tim seemed content enough with the decision as he stuck with the two women as Tara was the one to be strong enough and pull them away from the bodies and out into the hall.

We all migrated back out into the hall, back into the room we had originally entered from, Philip helping Nick limp after us. While still carrying our clubs, we tried grabbing as many bags we could hold and climb up with. While Philip was holding several bag handles around his fingers and adjusting one of his other hands to still grip his club, I caught Penny reach and whisper to her father asking if she could carry one. I saw him pause and look almost inclined to pull back, but a chaste smile broke out across the man's face and instead allowed her to take another bag that was the lightest. Nick even insisted on taking a few despite our persistence he just focus getting up the stairs. I scooped up as many bags as I could before my fingers would turn too purple, balancing them in both hands before getting in line behind the others. Michael led the way up, Penny put at the forefront after with Philip and Milton right behind her. April followed, sniffling and pouty with Tara urging her onward. Neema insisted Nick go ahead incase he had trouble climbing up with his bad ankle. After Neema, I looked to Tim who was the only other person remaining. I felt myself uncaring if I was last or not, but Tim just gestured for me to go ahead so I relented crawling out from the window to follow out Neema. It definitely took us longer to climb up then to run down, but we took our time and didn't allow the frightening howls to rush us, especially with us in the back that were going even slower behind Nick. The poor man's ankle must've really been dealt a twist as I saw him ahead of Neema, taking one step up at a time with his good leg, his hands holding hard to the rails as he used his arms to help jump to the next. Looking up, I saw Michael had reached the window and was already crawling carefully through, once inside he leaned back out to help Penny and Philip through next. It didn't take long to get the others in after, but there had become quite a gap between Nick, who was huffing and who's face was flushed with every step he was pulling himself up.

"Take your time," Neema urged, a hand steadying on his lower back when he wobbled above us.

"I just wanna' get this shit over with," Nick grit through his teeth as he jumped another step, gingerly lifting his hurt foot after him to help him balance.

Tim and I were waiting behind the two, my fingers were getting considerably cold and purple as the plastic handles cut off my circulation. I was worrying more about one of the bags Neema was carrying, that looked utterly stuffed and I could see a few box-looking sharp edges were stretching the plastic, looking about ready to split the bag right open. I looked back anxiously at Tim who was another person that could get smacked by the items if Neema's bag broke and I could see him studying it just as worryingly. Thankfully it didn't take Nick too much longer to make it to the eighth floor where Philip was able to help take his bags from him before pulling him through the window, with Tim and I urging someone to hurry and take Neema's bags after.

When Tim and I were finally inside, we shut the window and the yowls from the streets with it. Glancing around, every face looked so exhausted as we all deposited our bags. Even though we had acquired quite a fortunate amount of supplies, I couldn't help but notice this did little to raise the morale. I wondered if we'd all been secretly crushed Tara and April's parents had been infected after all. Nick heaved his weight tiredly on the couch while Tara was helping April into a seat around Michael's dining room table where Philip was also settling down a somber looking Penny. The new additions looked in shock and were hushed, Tara the only one who was remaining aware and going through the motions. Every face I turned to see looked world wearied. It was Neema to initiate sorting through the bags, dividing food and utilities to get everyone up and going and Michael and Milton followed hastily after her lead while Philip and Tim went back for the rest of the bags we hadn't been able to carry up on the first trip.

Everyone just continued carrying on, like two of our group hadn't just disappeared into the city horded with infected. We had already cleared out most of the building and Todd and Brian still weren't back. I felt lost, just standing amongst everyone doing something, yet not doing anything.

"So that's it?" I breathed, my voice trembling while my chest began its constricting. "We just leave them out there and finish unpacking the groceries?"

Everyone stopped to turn and look at me just standing horrified. I flinched at so many sympathetic stares I received and it only seemed to frustrate me more.

"Olive," Michael started softly. "They planned to draw them out far enough away, it'll take them awhile to get back."

"It's been hours," I exclaimed. "They could be trapped somewhere, or can't get back and we're just here chilling."

At this point I hadn't heard Philip and Tim come back in until the snap of the window shutting again startled me. Philip had been listening from behind me while he'd been helping Tim back through, already dropping his own bags to frown at the conversation he had come back to. I couldn't help but feel myself lash out at the sight of the man.

"And you," I snapped. "How could you let your brother go out there like that? You don't care if they get a hold of him? If he dies out there-"

"'Course I care." I was a little surprised, never hearing Philip snap back so brusquely. My eyes flickered down to Penny who was looking wide and teary-eyed from her seat at my hysterics.

"Now there wasn't many choices down there. The glass was minutes from shatterin', if we didn't draw them away fast enough they would've brought down the whole buildin'."

"There was no way we'd out-run 'em," Nick added. "Those two had found those skateboards, no one else knew how to ride that shit."

"Now I'm sorry it had to be Todd-"

I couldn't take listening about how my boyfriend's decision had been based on him being one of the only people who knew how to ride a fucking skateboard. Instead I retreated to the door to take watch, not sparing the others another glance as they called for me over my shoulder. I didn't bother to be frightened by the darkness of the hallway anymore, having much bigger concerns to feel terrified enough over. The sun was beginning its decent behind the horizon, its bright light already dimmed to its orange sunset glow. Coming to the rooftop railing, I looked over the streets surrounding the apartments, trying to search out Todd maybe skating back through the passing by infected. I scanned the dead for the head of a familiar bushel of golden locks, but was only met with his cold absence as I came up empty looking among the remaining dead that drifted in and out of the street.

A raging fury was storming within my heart; I was battling with emotions of despair and abandonment. The words I had spoken earlier seemed to mean little to Todd. Did he not care he was leaving me alone? To just so blatantly take off like that, he didn't give a shit what the fuck happened to me. My mood brooded strong inside me even as the sky officially began to darken and after the others eventually trickled out to cook and start the fire for dinner. Others like Neema and Michael tried to approach and offer encouraging words, but I just remained against the railings with my back to the rest during dinner. The food Neema left behind for me tasted like ash, tasteless and I could barely force myself to finish it rather than be wasteful.

That first night, against everyone else's urging, I hadn't gotten a moment of sleep. After dinner, instead of retreating back inside with the others, I remained on watch for any signs of Todd coming and ignored anyone else's inclinations to take over. Yet no matter how furious I could be at him, I found myself praying desperately for his return. If he's alive somewhere, he'll come back. I stayed long past the sun fading behind the city's horizon, the others eventually reclining to let me wait in the dark.

All except one.

It was Philip who wordlessly waited with me throughout the night. I was at least grateful he gave me space and didn't bother me with words I wasn't ready to hear yet.

"Y'know, Brian," he started all of a sudden in the darkness, making me jump in my seat leaned against the railing bars.

I looked back quizzically, but he wasn't looking to me but down at his hands. "Was always tryin' to prove somethin', even back when we were kids."

I wasn't quite sure how to respond to what sounded like guilt sprouting forth.

"When he played ball, all anyone ever told 'em was how much he played like me," he continued, breathing a hollow chuckle and shook his head in his thoughts. "Even our parents...always comparin' us. Used to hate it... though I never spoke out against it."

My lip stung as I nervously chewed it, still a little uncertain why he felt the need to unburden this on me.

"After high school..." Philip looked up into the skyline and shrugged. "Brian was the one leavin' me behind. Graduating college, doin' well off with a job that paid almost triple than what I ever made," he said in an embittered scoff.

"When my wife passed," he said lowly but at the same time resounding in the night's silence. "He moved out here from Jersey to help me out, with Penny an' all."

I'd always wondered about the Blake's family situation and the absence of Penny's mother. It was unexpected that it was now Philip chose to reveal a peek into his past life to me.

"I was overwhelmed. Too angry at everythin' and everyone... Was all too eager for the help at home when he offered," the man said sadly. "I regret ever askin' him away from his life."

The man picked his head up to finally meet my gaze in the dark, sighing heavily with the saddest I'd ever seen his blue eyes turn.

"You're right. I was too quick about lettin' him go out like that," Philip finally said.

At hearing Philip's admission, I was guilty about the way I'd snapped at him in front of everyone earlier. My anger was targeted at the wrong man and poor Philip had been at the wrong end.

"They're grown men," I mumbled, sighing. "They made their own decisions."

Philip twitched the corner of his mouth at me, recognizing my own apology but only nodded. We waited with each other throughout the night, neither of us exchanging much else the rest of the night.


The next day, they hadn't shown up either. If it were possible, the next day ached worse than the one before, practically crippling me on the roof. Philip had gotten up to collect Penny, leaving Michael with me for a few awkward minutes that he tried to get me to lie down, which I pointedly ignored. I couldn't help but notice Tara, April and Tim's awkward presence as the uncertainly sat down in a few open chairs Michael had brought out. They seemed uncertain what to do with themselves, looking at the rest bustle around getting breakfast started. Tara caught me staring from the railing and I quickly averted my eyes. Throughout breakfast, I remained where I'd sat all night, Neema having brought me a plate that I struggled to eat like the day before. I could see April was taking her time and having her own difficulties stomaching her meal, yet Tim and Tara seemed more than willing to dig into the rice and beans. There was even coffee Michael boiled for us and I gratefully accepted, uncaring about only having sugar packets to add.

I spent another day out on the roof, continuing to ignore anyone else's concern. Philip still remained out with me, the both of us now in hats he had persuaded I at least wear to keep from burning my face and cooking my head. I heard Nick hobble in and offer some water bottles and could hear him ask Philip if he wanted to relieve him to get some sleep, but the man muttered a hushed response that I couldn't hear but Nick limped back into the hall after. I told Philip he should head inside plenty of times, but it seemed he took a page from my book and paid my requests no mind. Throughout the day, others tried to relieve us, and I felt annoyed that Philip would look to me every time, making me refuse for what seemed like the both of us. Penny even came out to sit with her father for most of the day inbetween little errant tasks she was sent to do while the others went through the supplies, like bringing us out various things Neema or Michael gave her to give us like sunscreen, pairs of sunglasses, or water.

As another dawn approached, the others trickled back out to prepare for dinner as the heat of the day finally began to ebb. As Michael and Nick built up the small fire to get a pan of water boiling for Neema who was preparing a hamburger-helper, without the ground meat. That night, I couldn't bear to even smell the food that had been passed out to me, secretly dishing it out on Penny's plate without a word and a confused look before she ate my rations without question. No rest from the night before was pressing its weight down on my eyelids and could feel my blinks becoming heavier and my head droop occasionally on my shoulder. There wasn't much chatter that night and everyone ate mostly in silence. I spotted Tara, April and Tim whispering amongst themselves by the dying fire that cooked our meal; I had no idea how they were settling in but so far no one looked bothered by their addition by the fire with the rest of the group. What I hadn't expected to see, was when Tara's attention was distracted by some murmured conversation between Nick and Philip, Tim slid his hand to gently squeeze April's hand that had been resting at her side. I caught their fingers intertwine so delicately, I felt my lip tremble and quickly looked away to blink away the sudden tears brimming my lashes.

I prepared to wait another night when others began to trickle out, that was until the slap of plastic startled me out of my gaze down into the city below. I was surprised it was the stout silhouette of Tara standing over me in the darkness of dawn turning to twilight, a deep frown burrowing in her cheeks as she stared down at me with her hands resting on her hips.

What look like deflated pool floaties and a bicycle pump were tossed down at me, when I arched a brow up at the woman she merely told me, "There's two blow up mattresses. You two won't do anyone any good starved and sleep deprived." Without any other acknowledgment, she stalked off inside after April and Neema, who sent me a last reproachful look before following back into the hall to her apartment.

Philip seemed to have spotted the blow up beds and already sat down beside me to begin blowing ours up. With only a manual tire pump, it took quite a while to get both of the mattresses blown up, seeing they were actually a decent size and would probably allow Philip enough room length-wise. Philip drug his mattress towards his usual spot near the hallway door as I finally peeled myself off the floor to settle for a better seat on the air cushion. My butt felt painfully numb and was a little relieved to have a more comfortable seat than the cement floor as I relocated to watch the night atop the the mini bed. Penny stayed with Philip for the night, bringing her blankets to curl up under with her father.

This night was worst than the last, my conscience refusing to rest but the lack of sleep was exacting its toll over my drooping eyelids, feeling almost sick every time my nodding head woke me back up. If Philip saw me nodding off, he didn't comment about it and we remained silent for another night with only the unrelenting chorus of moans from below to fill the night. I could almost think straight over all the groans coming from the infected wandering in and out of the streets of Atlanta. Almost. I would have thought the others had also grown more accustomed to tuning out the dead, that was until a ghost of a whisper came from behind me, so soft if the breeze had been blowing the other direction, it probably wouldn't have carried to my ears.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Sweetheart?" Philip whispered.

"Are them people sick?"

There was a long silence and I found myself staring down into my lap, my own spine rigid awaiting such an answer.

"Yeah..." came a heavy sigh. "They're real sick."

It was silent a long while after that, so long I had thought Penny had gone to bed before I heard her say, "Is Uncle Brian gunna' get sick?"

My heart wrenched and I had to bite back a sob with my back still turned to the girl and her father.

"No ma'am," Philip finally said. "Your uncle's gunna come back just fine."


A very distinctive click rung in my ears a sprung me up wide-eyed. I hadn't realized I had even fallen asleep, finding myself pushing back blankets I recognized as the one Todd and I shared from Michael's bedroom. I pushed myself up from the mattress and saw Nick not standing too far from me, leaning against the rooftop railing. I saw in Nick's hand was white, every nerve in him tense as he stared out into the street below with the focus of a prowling cat as I watched him slowly edge up the gun. The light of the new day had already begun to break and I garfed at having slept the whole night. Scrambling up to see what Nick could be looking at, he quietly grabbed my wrist and I exchanged a quizzical glance with him before squinting down below the railing. The gray morning still cast shadows over the streets, so I couldn't really see much of anything. But just as I was about to say as much, a distant flash of light caught my attention. It was so tiny I could have imagined it, but when it flashed again I caught it coming from down the street. My grip I hadn't realized had grabbed the railing, was now practically wringing the metal bar. I couldn't help but feel restless at the prospect of it being Todd and Brian , my own attention attracted just as intensely, practically hanging over the rails to squint at the source of the light.

But then suddenly, Nick's hand curled around my arm and slowly pried me back from the rails and pulled me to crouch down with him. I was about to protest, but the worried look on Nick's face shut me up and I was reminded of what Tim and Tara had mentioned about living survivors killing her group for supplies. It could be another breed of monster down there. The light flicked back on and off, some flashes faster than others and it dawned on me it could be morse code. There were still infected corpses wandering the streets below, the amount reduced drastically than the previous couple of days, but we all knew how fast that could change. I just hoped whoever it was would stop before they attracted the attention of the biting dead.

The light eventually did stop, Nick and I so frozen in anticipation none of us made the motion to go wake up any others. We slowly crept back towards the railings, still staying crouched and low incase any unwanted attention did spot us. My thoughts were overflowing with the possibilities of who it could be, my heart pounding at the prospect that it could actually be military. Then, apart of the shadows darted near one of the openings to an alley between buildings, and like the light, it happened so fast I would have doubted I saw anything if more shadows didn't move. Soft footsteps suddenly pattered behind us, causing the both of us to jump but it was only Philip when we turned around. Without a word, he slowly crouched down beside us to study what we were staring at, obviously seeing how disturbingly we watched from down below, taking the hint to stay quiet. More movement was going on and as the sun was steadily rising, the shadows were lifting and we were able to distinguish it was indeed people sneaking around below.

"They catch attention, we'll have another mob bangin' against the buildin'," Philip told us under his breath.

I bit my lip in anticipation, praying this morning wasn't about to go horribly wrong. Then, even from up on the roof, there was a wisp that echoed, a slight fffoommpp! and without warning, a body of one of the infected collapsed against the pavement, unmoving. My brow furrowed and we all exchanged baffled looks, then another fffooommmpp! and close by another body followed suit. But this time, it didn't die as instantly, still moaning from the floor; that's when we saw another flash, long and needle shaped wisp by and hitched a breath in my throat when it stabbed through the infected's skull to permanently silence it. Another wisp flew across the street and we watched it impale into the neck of another corpse, followed by a quick succession of a second to slice through it's forehead. Arrows. We gawked at the corpses drop so silently throughout the street and we quickly realized whoever was the deliverer of the arrows was clearing the street. We all waited on pins and needles, realizing when a corpse dropped at the entrance of our building's side alley, they were preparing to make their way here. When I looked back to the others, I could see Philip had his gun drawn as well and was already rising to make for the hallway no doubt to alert the others.

Then we saw them. Two figures, booking it down the street.

I couldn't restrain the sharp gasp at the relief of seeing the familiar sight of Todd, running with his arms completely full alongside Brian.

"I'll be damned," I heard Nick snort beside me.

What was really startling to notice was Todd was holding a long curved rod with him, from this distance I could hardly see the string attached to both ends but I could make out the arrows had indeed come from him, realizing it wasn't a stick at all. Todd had two bags slung over each of his shoulders, one of them zipped open and could see a bushel of arrows poking out. I could see he'd wedged his bat through one of his belt loops as it seemed he'd replaced his hands with the bow he was stopping every few yards to aim a few arrows at any infected who's attention they caught. It took him a couple shots to take down one that got frighteningly close before he was able to aim through its eye. Brian had quite a few bags strapped around his own back, straps of a duffel bag even hanging off one of his arms as he used his crowbar to dismember those infected they had to run by. They raced through the street, cutting into the alley on the side of the apartment complex. Brian dropped the bag hanging from his arm to make a jump for the fire escape stairs while Todd covered the alley, firing of an arrow that aimed in the infected man's head in the first shot this time before he retreated to follow Brian up.

Three other bodies were making their way into the alley after prosperous prey. My hand reflexively reached to the gun in my back pocket, feeling panicked as Todd was still grabbing Brian's bag to toss up to him. Philip must have seen my gesture because his hand stilled my arm almost sharply and I looked up to see him shaking his head at me.

"Not yet," he urged. I felt myself gawk, exclaiming in disbelief at no making a move to aid the men below.

When I looked back down, I could see Todd had managed to stop two in their tracks, but one was still persisting on with one of his arrows in its neck and others were drifting to follow in after the drawing attention. Pulling the bow over his shoulder like another bag strap, he finally made his way to leap up for the stairs. He was blatantly exhausted and since he wasn't as tall as Brian, it took Todd a few tries before he got a good enough grip on the stair ladder to haul himself up. I felt the breath hurl right out of me as I watched until his last foot was out of reach from the infected pleading for his flesh, relieved my boyfriend and Brian had made it back alive.

I hadn't realized almost everyone else had come out and had been watching, Neema and April wide eyed in fright, but Tara's eyes were narrowed off down the street, staring off into the city with a deeply thoughtful expression. Michael and Philip raced back into hall, leaving the rest of us to step away from the edge of the roof, awaiting anxiously but it seemed none of us knew what to really do. My first reaction was to run after the mens' heels to meet Todd, but my enthusiasm settled after my relief he had made it back in what appeared to be one piece. I had spent days up on the roof waiting for my boyfriend to come back, but now that he was, I couldn't find the strength to tell him all the loving or all the hateful things I had been thinking the past two days. I felt people begin to bustle around me, but I was lost with what to do with myself.

"They're in." I was startled and turned to see Neema was beside me and had taken my hand to squeeze. "They're both ok."

I could only nod my head numbly and fidgeted in my spot on the roof, watching Tara lead her sister back into the hallway. Neema was watching her and I realized we were the last being left behind while everyone rushed in to see what Todd and Brian had brought back with them. I reluctantly followed Neema inside behind a still slightly limping Nick, each step causing my heart to pound almost painfully behind my ribcage. As we walked down the hallway, when we got close enough to Michael's apartment that everyone else had trickled into, I couldn't help but halt, pulling my hand from Neema's. The rush of blood my heart was pumping seemed to have traveled to me head, pounding another ache that made my already heavy eyes grow heavier with tears. Neema stopped with me to stare back startled.

"I-I..." Having no idea how to explain in words the way my chest felt about to cave in with all the built up hurt from two days, my mouth was stumbling. "I can't yet."

Turning around, I bolted for the only other familiar apartment right down the hall, quickly closing the door behind me to keep Neema out as I made my way to one of the bedrooms. The bed was naked, already stripped of its sheets, but I didn't care as I collapsed onto the mattress. My head was aching with such a terrible headache, I covered and rubbed at my leaking eyes to try massaging away the almost intolerable pounding out from my temples. I pulled the hair-tie out that was holding my curtain of hair up in a ponytail it'd been left in for two days, trying to relieve the strain on my head as I let my tangles splay out around me.

Now knowing Todd was back safe, my body felt like practically shutting down and my eyes were finally allowed to droop down and I could collapse into sleep.


Uncertain how long I had slept, when I felt myself drift back up to the surface of consciousness, my eyes fluttered in to take in the room around me. Curled up on my side in the small room, it didn't take me long to remember where I was this time. I noticed there was a blanket thrown over me, and as I was curling my toes experimentally, I also felt that my shoes had been taken off as well. Rolling over a little, I peeked over at the bedroom window to see daylight still shining through the curtains. I sighed and rubbed my eyes, feeling a little bad that I had just walked out on everyone for the day to sleep, especially with all the new supplies to still sort through. About to roll over and get up, a voice stopped me in my tracks and sent a throb through my chest.

"I'm sorry."

I didn't have to turn over to see who it was. I still didn't know which words to say and could only feel myself recoiling back under the blanket, staying stoic with my back to his apology.

"I didn't mean to be gone so long. We had to wait out a lotta' stiffs before we could make it back." His voice was quiet and soft, actually genuine-sounding. Todd's gentleness only made tears threaten my eyes and it took everything to force them back as I wipe at them frustratingly. I could feel my anger broiling in my chest, ready to spew up and spit venom with my next words. Physically taking a deep breath to calm myself, afraid of bringing on another unbearable headache that seemed to have tapered off. Yet now, I couldn't help but wonder if the physical pain had been a shield to mask the hurt that was digging its nails into my heart, coiling it's grip around me before yanking hard down into my belly.

"Olive-"

"I heard you." Despite the heated fury I'd been feeling, my voice only sounded hollow and cracked. I hadn't planned on speaking, but I just wanted him to stop talking. I exhaled and it felt my breath squeeze through the thick lump tears were causing in my throat. "You did what you felt you had to."

I continued to just focus breathing in and out, a pathetic symphony to bear through my boyfriend's presence until I heard the door open. It took a little longer, but the door eventually closed, and I shut my eyes back on the world.


The next time I woke back up, it wasn't on my own. My eyes snapped open when I felt a sudden weight press down on my legs, and I scrambled up in surprise. When I blinked down across the bed however, it wasn't any of the dead from my nightmares but clothes and an few other little knick-knacks I was still too bleary-eyed to make out. But when I looked up, it was Tara staring down with a scowl. I felt a little panicked at such an awakening I hurried to sit up and began looking around to check if everything was in sort.

"What's the matter?" I asked, my legs throwing themselves over the end.

"You've slept enough." Expecting to hear something more along the lines of the infected breaking in or some relating emergency, I had to blink up in puzzlement before I breathed a sigh of relief and felt my shoulders visibly deflate.

"Shit, you scared me," I mumbled and rubbed more sleep from my eyes. Tara seemed unamused, but I noticed looked considerably cleaner wearing different clothes I guessed must have been something she'd required from the supplies. "Neema send you?"

"No. She said April, Tim and I could stay in this apartment our first night." I felt my cheeks flush. I hadn't been paying much attention to the new sleeping arrangements the past two days.

"I-I'm sorry," I could've laughed with embarrassment but just scrambled up and gathered up what appeared to be my things I'd fallen asleep with in my pockets. I stuffed my gun back in my waistband, but it wasn't until I was about to stuff a stone like object in my pocket did I pause, noticing this hadn't been mine at all. It wasn't a stone, but a utility brooch. When I flicked open one side, a knife pushed out, no longer than the length of my hand but still made me a little skeptical none-the-less. I turned to tell Tara this wasn't mine, but she was already on her way out the bedroom door.

She paused and interrupted me first. "After dinner, Philip and I were planning to do another sweep on a couple floors. You should come with us."

I didn't know what to make of such a request, but Tara didn't give me the time to accept before she closed the door behind her. Or maybe she wasn't allowing me to decline. I sighed and hurried to slip my shoes on that had been placed beside the bed and followed back out into the hall, all the while trying to gather up my hair to knot together in a bun. There was no one in the halls, but I could hear sharp-toned speaking coming from the open door to Michael's apartment down the hall. Instead of heading for the rooftop, I quietly made my way closer to listen to what was going on inside that sounded like a building argument.

"...Brian and Todd seem to be in on it just as much. I mean what do you plan to do when the lobby shatters-"

"Well it hasn't. Not this whole time. But now people wanna' run off, the front is conveniently seconds to breakin'-"

"I think what Nick is trying to say is, it's an awful rash move Tim."

I paused before making my presence known, realizing it was Nick, Milton and Tim having a hushed discussion. I figured they were the last lingering before heading out to dinner. Not wanting to get caught listening in on them from the doorway like a sneak, I would've been wiser to leave before they decided to join the other, but I couldn't help but listen intently.

"You didn't see them earlier today- dude, those doors are a gust away from busting!"

"And where do you propose we go huh? We gunna live on the run out there? From what you guys tell us, there's not many places out there."

"Well Mr. Coleman won't go."

My breath hitched at this and I felt myself gnaw at my lip.

"He-he confided to me... that if it should come down to it, he'd remain behind. I-I can't leave him."

I felt myself shift anxiously and gaped at their conversation. Apparently more things had occurred with Tara and her sisters stay other than the occupancy of one of the apartments. Of course leaving had been thrown in to a few of Todd's suggestions, but it appeared he had a new advocate. And Michael had never mentions such a thing as staying behind if we all chose to leave. I wasn't sure if I could leave Michael either. I didn't know what to make of the debate, but when I heard footsteps patter a little closer to the open door, I pushed off the wall behind the open door and hurried to creep out to the roof. What I'd overheard disturbed me and I couldn't help but worry, if another crossroads was approaching, could I chose a side if others chose to split apart. I knew Todd would no doubt urge to leave, and of course I'd go with him. And that's what scared me the most, was that I already knew my decision and was scared others would make another.

When I stepped outside, it seemed everyone paused stare at me. Probably wondering if I was done with my break down again, I thought begrudgingly. Neema smiled over at me from whatever she was finishing spooning onto plates by the fire, Michael also by her side who spared me a soft upturn of his lips that crinkled the skin around his eyes. Penny was sat in front of April, who I was surprised to see was running a comb through the little girls hair beside the older sister who just watched on hunched over, her chin on the arm resting on her knee. She spared me a glance, but her normal down-turned expression didn't seem to change as she noted my presence and nudged her younger sister to discourage her staring and continue brushing the girls hair. Philip and Brian both offered me a friendly nod from where they'd been leaned up against the rooftop railing, having been looking down into the street. This was the first time seeing Brian back and I felt a little guilty I hadn't been there to greet him, I offered a small, apologetic smile that Brian seemed to return in his same good nature since I'd known him. Not too far away, Todd was also right up against the railing and turned around to stare over at me, but not quite like the rest. I could see his mouth was gaped, like he wanted to call out to me, but eventually I gave up on waiting on what he might have to say. Instead, my attention was drawn to the long bow I recognized he had run up the street with. Seeing it up close, it was daunting how tall the wood curve arched up in his hands, almost as tall as Todd himself. As he lowered the bow from turning to see me, I could see he was holding a rather long, black arrow with bright red and neon green-colored artificial feathers at the end, and my gaze didn't have to travel too much further to find a whole pile of them stuffed into a bag leaning against the railing beside Todd' feet.

"There she is!"

I jumped when instead I was greeted from behind, glancing to see if was Nick with Tim and Milton. I tried to smirk and disguise any hint on my face that I'd been eavesdropping on them just a moment ago.

"'Bout time you woke up outta' hibernation," he commented lightly, offering me a soft pat on my shoulder as he stepped around me to find a seat with the rest.

I decided to follow their lead and found a spot between Milton and April as the food began being passed around. I felt a hole being burnt in my back that I'd made sure to turn to the railings, but I refused to acknowledge it and tried to act put together in front of the others, still unable to say anything to Todd and I couldn't bear to be pretend. But I knew it was hard to miss other people's business in such close confines between us all, so it was also hard to miss the looks from amongst the group. I'd imagine it was strange to see us, or at least me, so distanced from each other when usually we were attached at the hip, or I just stayed beside Todd as much. Yet I did my best to avoid them, and Neema saved me striking up an utterly fake conversation with Milton when she deposited a bowl in my lap. I couldn't help but smile at noticing she'd served me first. Eventually everyone was served, Michael smothering the fire to bring down to dying smolders that were only good enough to keep a little light as we ate. Philip and Brian came to pull up chairs over by us and when Penny was released from April's untangling, she went to sit on her uncle's lap as they ate dinner. It seemed Penny was just as rejoiced Brian had made it back, like Philip had promised. I didn't turn to look, but I heard the scrape of the last chair situate themselves back beside the boys.

Michael and Neema were talking amongst themselves across from us, and I could see Milton was interested to listen in from across the coals, but I was more distracted by the murmured conversation coming from the others sitting close behind us. Looking back around at the group, my gaze caught Nick's, who seemed to be just as intent on what was being said between the three and the man looked practically seething. I caught Tim taking notice as well and the boy only stared back anxiously, his head bowed a little uncomfortably while he ate. I had definitely missed quite a lot of dispute in the past two days. Tara seemed to have practically wolfed down her food, scraping off what sauce was left and wiping the bowl clean decently enough before she put it back with the rest of the dishes. However it wasn't her fast eating manners that surprised me, but when she nudged me on her way out. It unnerved me how comfortably she moved her weight around already.

"I'll be getting bags together when you guys're done," she muttered as she passed me by before heading back into the hall. April stared worryingly after her older sister, but just looked back down into the bottom of her bowl as she sullenly continued to eat. I faintly took note that Tim was swift to replace the empty seat beside her. But I couldn't keep my attention too long on anything else, the more I felt compelled to take Tara's offer, I felt incredibly nervous about this arrangement. I hardly felt hungry anymore, but forced myself to swallow down the meal with trembling fingers that tried to grasp to spoon properly in my nerves. When I glanced back, I saw Philip's gaze had also followed the retreat of the woman's salient presence, a deep frown shadowing his features after her. I bit my lip when I let the intense glare beside Philip magnetized my gaze, the deep furrowed of his ash blond brows and the intense gleam that was trying to put it all together let me know Todd hadn't missed Tara's words to me either. At the sight of him growing visibly disconcerted sent a flicker of spite to tease the part of me that was a still begrudgingly vengeful to see him going through just a sliver of the worry I was in for two days. It seemed my new perspective influenced my decision. I tore my eyes away and concentrated finishing the contents of the bowl before hurrying to wipe clean my dish to join Tara's. Murmuring a quiet thank you to Neema as I made my way back, I didn't interrupt anymore than I had to and exited back into the hall.

Yet I didn't get far at all in the darkness of the hall before I felt my arms sharply grabbed. Pulled back so suddenly, I gasped loud and whirled around close to shrieking, but as my eyes squinted in the dark, I made out it was Todd glaring quite perturbed down at me. I sharply yanked my arm from out of his grasp, growing agitated he had grabbed me so roughly on top of my still harbored bitterness towards the man. But before I could reprimand him, the words died on my lips as Todd's aggression visibly deflated and I could tell he was apologetic, his eyes gleaming more in sadness. My heart ached with the hurt between us.

"What're you doing?" he said after a large sigh of exhaustion. I hadn't gotten a good look until now how sunken Todd's face looked shadowed under his hooded eyes. I had to restrain myself from reaching my hand out to stroke the bags under his eyes.

"I-" In all honesty, I had no fucking idea what I was doing. But it was to get away from moments like this. "I told Tara I'd help her and Philip with the floors tonight."

"I don't want you going. It's too late and it'll be dark as hell down there by now." I arched an eyebrow at Todd's blunt disapproval, not skipping a heartbeat to tell me. Just like it had been my first instinct to wish Todd hadn't gone out and risked himself so dangerously. I was selfish, but I wasn't too different from Todd, and that's what I often wondered was the reason we consistently clashed against each others unrelenting personalities. Neither of us were much good at giving and taking.

"Have you been down there during the day? It's an oven," I retorted, hearing the edge in my tone, baiting to see if this was heading for an argument. "We've already been through the floors."

Todd took my little jab in stride, only blinking since he'd already been frowning. "They're just doing a quick sweep to look a little better for medications, they don't need so many people, I don't know why Tara asked you in the first place."

"Out of any of us, I would know what things to look for besides Milton," I bullshitted, his tone bristling my already raised hackles. "And you said yourself; it's only a quick sweep, not like I'll be gone for days 'n all."

I knew it was a little immature at me to keep poking at him, but I couldn't help but spit my venom vindictively so he could feel the hurt he put me through. It also seemed to be enough to effectively rile him, seeing the frustration cloud back into his gaze as he glared at me.

"That's fucking unfair," he said back icily, and as if throwing his hands up with me, he pushed off the hallway wall he'd been leaned against, recoiling around to stomp back to the roof not sparing me a look back.

I sighed, unable to help feeling a little guilty, but I forced myself to shake it off and continued to Michael's apartment. When I rounded around the doorway, I walked through the living room from the front door to see just how crowded the apartment looked since we rounded up what was from the other floors. From backpacks to plastic grocery bags were spread out against the walls, the kitchen table containing all the food neatly stacked together on the tabletop. I hadn't been back inside since we first climbed back up after Todd and Brian took off, but there were much more bags than last I remembered, likely from the second trip they'd taken down. When I walked to the kitchen, on a semi-vacant spot on the counter beside Michael's gasless stove, Tara had a backpack open and had been tucking away flashlights but paused to turn and look when she heard my footsteps. Rather then greet, she grabbed an empty pack by her feet and tossed it over as well with my own flashlight.

"You got somethin' to take down with you?" she asked, eying me skeptically. Unsure what she meant, my face must have shown it as well. "If we run up on anythin' bitin', you got something else to wack 'em with than that flashlight?"

"Yeah," I stuttered nervously. "I can grab something before we go." It had been clear the last time we'd been down, but I knew it was smart to be prepared anyways and felt my nerves prickle a little more.

"Just make sure it's quiet," she said, ironically as she tucked her gun in her waistband.

She caught me arching a brow up at her and she actually smirked a little before shrugging. "Just some insurance," she said, shrugging.

I was a little uncertain what to do with myself and slowly decided to drift to my room; after I'd stormed off, I wasn't sure what had become of Michael's golf club and thought to check maybe someone had placed it in the spare bedroom Todd and I had taken residence in. But before I could make it down the hall, there was a knock from the front door that caused us to both still and whirl around. My hackles instantly eased at seeing it was only Milton in the doorway, his face grimaced as he looked over at Tara preparing her bag to me with one in hand already, but pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose as he took a few steps inside.

"I heard you were going with Philip to look for medication," he started out. Tara just nodded while we waited to see where the man was going with his inquisitions.

"I-I made a list of some things- just incase you happened to come across some things Michael is running low on..." he outstretched a paper, awkwardly shifting when Tara and I stared for a moment before I took it from.

I was already nodding, "Of course..." But as I began to scan the list I expected to be blood pressure or the very least diabetic supplements of the sort, but could feel my eyebrows scrunch together at every odd name I read through.

"Degarelix...Enzalutamide...Xofigo- Milton what're these?" I asked. They rung a bell but I couldn't recall what exactly they were for, but it wasn't anything on common hand.

"It's unlikely- but if you were to so happens come across any, it would be essential for Mr. Coleman," Milton said, looking incredibly uncomfortable as I scanned the list over again trying to remember where I knew them from. Before I could ask Milton what Michael was taking these for, Philip strode in, his face a little worn for wear as he surveyed the atmosphere of the room.

"Hello Philip," Milton greeted. "I was just giving a list of a few suggested pharmaceuticals to look for."

Philip nodded, looking at the little notepad paper in my hand. "Y'know you could join us," he suddenly suggested, turning back to the man that seemed stunned by the inquisition.

Milton had joined everyone else down to the floors and even assisted with the first quick sweep we did, but I remembered how ghostly pale and skittish he had been until we returned back to Michael's apartment. I felt sorry for the poor man who obviously didn't have the stomach of Philip, who had shown he could do what was necessary when he bashed his club so brutally over Michael's neighbor the first time we ventured from the apartment. Milton seemed to share the same skepticism about murdering the infected, but unlike myself who pondered it alone in my thoughts and in my nightmares, he often vocalized it and at the beginning, it seemed all he could talk about. However, his theories about the people infected not truly being gone, were quickly treated like something the others didn't want to hear much more about. I guessed because Milton had never killed an infected, and the others didn't wish to think they'd killed their loved ones they had been convinced hadn't been. I believed I had more exposure to the brutality of it all however, so I felt a part of me want to spare the man.

"It's cool Philip, I got it," I interjected, saving the man's stumbling words from an answer. I tucked the list in my back pocket, sparing Philip a curt nod to gesticulate it was finalized. I suspected Todd might have said a few words to him in his frustration with me and was a little sneakish maneuver of his to switch me out.

Leaving the three to look for an inanimate object of some sort to take with me, even if it was just for show to please the others, knowing full well I still was uneasy about striking out with it. The spare bedroom we were sharing didn't seem much different than the last time I'd left it, our chosen blankets thrown across the bed and our bag in the corner with Todd's clothes that never seemed to unpack to switch over into the drawers with mine. I was relieved to see I didn't have to search around, seing someone had indeed set the golf putter leaning up against the wall beside the doorframe. Reluctantly grabbing the golf club, I shut our room door quickly behind me to hurry and join the others. If I was going to go through with this, I wanted to hurry and be done with it. When I returned, Philip was shrugging on his own bag and Tara leaning up against the kitchen cupboards, the burly woman already prepared to leave and waiting. I hastily scooped up my bag and slipped myself through the straps, buckling the straps around my middle so I didn't have to bother with the straps slipping while we climbed down.

Philip went to tell the others we were ready, informing us Todd was going to cover us with his new toy he'd found while out in the city, explaining since the bow and arrows would be a lot quieter to pick off the dead that might see us. So Tara made for the window, sliding it open to almost impatiently for Philip to hurry back. When Philip jogged back in, it was Tara's queue to slip her top half out before pulling a leg out after to wiggle her weight through. Tara didn't seem to struggle too much when she managed to crawl out while Philip and I followed out after her on the fire escape. A light breeze had picked up in the dark and it was a refreshing touch across my heated cheeks and fidgeting fingers, my hands clumsy in my bundle of nerves to hold the golf putter tightly as we began our descent down. It was impossible to move completely quiet on a rigidity old metal step-ladder railing, but we were only going the next floor down so we were quick about making our way down. As Tara struggled for a moment to squeeze inside, I glanced up in the dark and could only faintly catch a few figures watching from the rooftop. I could pinpoint Todd in the dark only because I could also make out the rather large and distinct silhouette of the bow; it was stretched back to its widest, positioned downward beyond us as he aimed down at the street below. It was strange to see Todd's resourceful new weapon, knowing he must've had two days to have practiced with it, and from seeing him take out the corpses on his way back he definitely had a good aim for it.

But before I could ponder too long on it all, Tara had managed through the open window and Philip much more easily crawled right through, snapping me out of my thoughts to hurry and slip inside after them. I tried not to spare a look up as I gulped and crawled into darkness. The seventh floor was completely dark with only the exception of Tara and Philip's flashlights already flicked on and scanning the room. As I pulled out my own light Tara had given me, I couldn't help my eyes but flicker to the knife she had clutched in the hand that wasn't holding the flashlight, the harsh light reflecting off the blade's tip much like the steel of Michael's old golf clubs Philip and I still used. Even with three lights, it was terrifying how dark the apartment floor still was, only the spotlights from the flashlight showing us what was in front of our faces. I could hear my breathing was ragged and unsure if it was just because it was my own breathing, but it sounded louder than the rest. Every little last creak had us on edge; we scanned every direction to make sure the room was clear before Philip softly opened the bedroom's door we had climbed through to continue on into the next room. We carried on like this throughout the entire apartment, quickly scanning the rooms with our flashlights before moving on. We finished the first apartment and Philip suggested to check the whole floor first before we proceeded, which we agreed would probably be safest. Some rooms still had the dead, rotting corpses that the others had either killed coming across on their first search through the floors or were rotting since Atlanta was first overwhelmed by the infection. Bumping into a few scared the shit out of me a few times, but I continued on, trying to keep in mind my inhaler was comfortingly stashed away in my pocket. Every apartment felt horrifyingly dark as we practically searched blindly through the dark rooms, but we eventually finished going through each apartment and they were still clear of any reanimated dead people.

The first apartment, I found the bathroom to check the medicine cabinet while Philip scrounged through the kitchen and Tara peeked closer through the bedroom drawers. The first apartment had what I expected to only find; the usual household aspirin, benodryl, a bottle of half used cough syrup, a few pharmaceutical labeled containers prescribed to a Phyllis Hitch. I tried to take everything and just sort through what was relevant later, hurrying out of the bathroom anxious to move on. Tara didn't come up with much, and Philip only found some rubbing alcohol and a few band-aids worth taking before we traveled next door. It seemed we had done a better job getting most things from our first sweep than we thought, though we did find a few stowed away norcos in one apartment's bedroom dresser, a bottle of penicillin and a few other various antibiotics. While looking through one of the bathroom's sink cupboards, I came across a name I recognized from Milton's list. I paused to shine my light closer to read the label on Dolasetron; 100mg orally may be given for prevention within one hour before treatment. Prevents nausea and vomiting. I pulled the list out of my back pocket to double check this was the same thing, but sure enough I found Dolasetron among the list of strange medications. How strange, I thought to myself. Was Michael throwing up and being sick that I didn't know about? And what treatment did this have to be administered before? I decided to throw it in with the rest and asked Milton or Michael about it later.

We eventually finished the first floor and I steadily adjusted to looking through the dark, besides a few bruises I could already feel forming on my shins. While sorting through one of the rooms on the sixth floor, Tara's flashlight joined me looking through the bathroom connected to the bedroom while I rummaged through the bedside drawer. At first I had just guessed she had finished her room already and was helping me, but it startled me a bit when she actually cleared her throat.

"So," she whispered quietly, but loud enough for me to hear from the open bathroom. "Your boyfriend seems pretty keen about joining me."

My hands halted reaching under to fill around under the sink cupboard, my back stiffening with unease.

"If you haven't heard by now, I don't intend to stay trapped up here much longer," she continued. I squinted against her flashlight as she suddenly shone it on me as she studied me through the dark. "How you feel 'bout that?"

"I.." stuttering, I wasn't sure how to answer. She was awful bold with me, so I decided to be truthful back. "I don't want to leave to be honest."

Tara nodded, turning her flashlight away back to the drawers she was riffling through. I couldn't help but feel like I saw disappointment from her, but remembering the pills from earlier, I felt insistant about what I said. "Some of us aren't ready. Where would we even go-"

"You'll never be ready," Tara interrupted sharply. "Ya'll wait 'til you think you are, you'll never leave. I came to Atlanta because I thought there'd be...something. But the city's dead and as cozy as ya'll feel here, I don't plan to be cornered."

I gawked at the woman in the darkness, unsettled by her words and their harsh deliverance. I'd never thought of us as cornered, but she was definitely right about it being a dead city. Not knowing what else to say, I shut the drawers that I came up empty on and depart to meet Philip back in the front room when I heard her hiss from the bathroom. Terrified, I rushed to see what it was to find a smiling Tara instead; I was baffled until she waved a cardboard pack at me and I noticed she'd found Camel's. The sight tugged at the corners of my mouth, but I definitely couldn't suppress the arch of my brow at her excitement.

"Jackpot!"she whispered to me. I chuckled and shone my light down on the drawer of male undergarments; I'd been looking through the other dresser that had been from a woman.

"Somebody's stash," I murmured, my amusement stifled at the thought of the couple this apartment had once been.

Making a note to maybe ask for one later when I heard how full the pack sounded when she shook them, we made our way to meet Philip who we'd caught already peeking out the front door to shine his light into the hallway. Without a word, we continued out into the outside corridor to the next apartment, and we continued to finish up the rest of the sixth floor. As we were about to proceeded down to the fifth, I couldn't help but remember which floor this was and nervously glanced over at the woman who's earlier spirit had once again froze over.

"I think that outta' do it for now," Philip suggested.

"Nah," Tara muttered. "My parents probably have a few things we could use."

Philip and I exchanged looks, but we followed the Chalmers woman down to the next floor. She walked past the others, seeming to have eyes for only one apartment and I wondered if this was she'd been seeking to find from this sweep. I'd never heard what had been decided to do with the Chalmers bodies, but I couldn't help but smell rot and death much more strongly in their apartment. It seemed Tara knew the direction to point us in for Mr and Mrs. Chalmers medications while she went through spots she suspected were her parents hiding spots. Finding a four-digit passcode in a little decorative ceramic box to her fathers safe in her parents dinning room, she told us she knew her father owned a gun and if he still had it, it'd be likely stowed inside. I was sorry that Tara had to go through her family's apartment like this, looting off her dead parents possessions, so I felt a little too self conscious to look through much myself and could see Philip felt the same as we both followed her lead instead. We stuffed a few pill bottles in our bags that Tara gave us from her parents medicine cabinet and watched as she unlocked the safe a pulled loose a pistol and a box of rounds from a tin box amongst files and paperwork.

"Should give the lobby a look," Tara inquired. At Philip's deep thoughtful frown, she shrugged and chuckled. "See how many days ya'll have left while we're down here, hm?"

I was skeptical about going so far below, but it seemed something to take under consideration and Philip seemed to concur. "That's not what we came for," he started, already clipped with a careful edge.

Yet the way she spoke bothered too much to protest; I was curious to see the lobby that everyone was so frightful of.

"She's right," I found myself saying, slowly, like I was a bit unsure myself but swallowed back my dread anyways. "It wouldn't hurt to sneak a peek at how it's holding up down there."

This appeared to be something Philip seemed reluctant, and I couldn't help but narrow my eyes wondering why when I caught him glance over at my with a suspicious unease. I was positive Todd had said something to the man now and it only made me insist going all the more.

"Awright," he sighed quietly. "We'll take the stairs."

We made our way out from the Chalmers apartment, our three solitary beams of light scanned the black corridor to help guide our way towards the end of the hall to the door leading out into the stairway. I flicked my light up with Tara's to look for anything that might be above us, then joined Philip's to beam down the stairwell while we listened for any noises of any infected lurking about. When it all seemed clear, we slowly tried to make our way quietly down the stairs, descending down the spiral staircase with nothing but the steps in front of our feet lit up for us to see. I counted the doors of the other floors when we passed them until we saw the faintest haze of the natural light coming from the window through the fourth door. Philip warned to turn our flashlights off, and when we pushed open the last door, it wasn't the moonlight from the night sky beaming in through the lobby that took the breath from my chest.

The whole front half of the apartment lobby was made of glass; once probably a very decorative part of the apartment complex and appealing to look at. But now, it was horrifying how many miniscule, spiderweb-like cracks the glass had from the floor to the ceiling, almost so much so, that you could hardly make out what was on the other side outside. I remembered how Todd's cell phone got a huge crack across the screen from dropping it once, and when he tried to still use it so he didn't have to purchase a brand new how the crack dispersed across the whole screen until it was too difficult to read anything and had to finally relent replacing it. I couldn't believe how damaged the front was; if I leaned my weight up against the glass, I would think it would shatter completely.

Fuck.


I felt horrified by the reality of the lobby. Tara hadn't been exaggerating about just how little time we had here. If the doors shattered, and the infected flooded through from the floors below, how long could we remain defended behind the blocked off stairway on the top floor? How long did I think we even had before they even caught on to us up on the very top floor? And how many would the scraps of furniture keep out how many infected? All these questions raked through me and I felt like a machine, programed to walk along beside Philip and Tara back up the stairs. I still felt stiff in fright trying to crawl back out through the window and while following back up the fire escape. When I we climbed back in through Michael's window, Penny had already thrown her arms around her father's legs before he could crouch down and embrace her and it seemed April had waited up as well, smiling from her reclusive spot on Michael's sofa beside an already sleeping Nick. Tim was sitting on the floor against the armrest near April and had also fallen asleep, his lankly legs sprawled on in front of him with his arms crossed and his chin hung against his chest. Milton was sat across from Michael still awake at the dinning room table, greeting us with relieved smiles as well.

Tara dropped her bag off in front of Milton on the table. "Found a thing or two on that list of yours," she said before collecting a tired April and nudged awake a sleepy-eyed Tim to retreat for the night, bidding the rest of us goodnight. I was surprised and extremely curious what on the list she could have found, but couldn't help but feel a little uneasy about the look I couldn't sworn she gave me on her way out. I knew taking me down to the sweep hadn't just been Tara's intention;

Depositing my bag down wordlessly next to Tara's, I murmured my own inclination about going to bed and awkwardly shuffled back to the room I normally slept in. Closing the door behind me, it was dark, much like the shadows from the floors below and it felt so strange to retreat back here. After only two days, I felt a little out of place without Todd sleeping beside me, but then again, my wounds still felt too fresh for it to feel right sharing the bed again. He'd scared the living hell out of me that he'd never return, and it was hard to recover from that. I toed off my converse and peeled off my socks, wrinkling my noes at the stink that came from the shoes I came to realize I'd been wearing this whole time. I pulled off mt sweat-soiled shirt and jeans, and unhooked my bra to join the pile I'd created. I shrugged on an oversized shirt and slipped into a pair of basketball shorts I'd picked out as sleep clothes before letting myself sink on the mattress of the guest room's bed. With my bare feet still hanging over the edge of the bed, I leaned back and released a huge sigh as the mattress cushioned my weary self. I felt exhausted but much too awake to sleep as I could only stare up at the ceiling with so many unanswerable thoughts and questions going through my head. It was one thought that stuck out horrifyingly worse than most and I had to repeat over and over again to get it to register this was truly reality.

We had to leave.

I was snapped out of my brooding when I heard the click of the doorknob and turned to watch as the door slowly crept open. A dark figure crept in, but I instantly noticed they were holding a lit candle when they turned around from closing the door quietly behind them, illuminating Todd's pale and golden complexion in the soft glow of the candle-light. His eyes instantly found mine across the room and he paused for a long time as we both just studied each other through the dark bedroom. If there was a time to unleash all that I'd had built up within me these past days, it would have been now and I think Todd had come to either listen or argue. Yet now, I felt much too tired to yell or even talk, my mind still whirling about how very dangerous things were about to become. I felt a tear dribble down the corner of my eye, dribbling across the bridge of my nose to drip on my lashes before it soaked into the blanket against my cheek, my throat feeling too choked to express anything else.

Todd resided speaking any words either. Instead, he set the candle down inside a pen-holder we used to set our candles in occasionally. He kicked off his own tennis shoes and stepped out of his baggy jeans, shrugging off his shirt to join the rest of my dirty clothes on the floor before he sat down beside me to lay back on the bed. I couldn't help but laugh a little to myself when I heard him heave a heavy sigh of his own. He stayed staring up at the ceiling much like I had been, but turned to meet my gaze. I felt resolve soften when he cracked a tiny smile at me, and even with so much impending on the horizon, I felt a little less lost to have him beside me to brag my hand softly in the dark.

"I saw the lobby," I whispered as I stared into the blue of Todd's gaze. He didn't say anything for quite some time and only stared back at me, I wondered if he was trying to judge my own reaction. I tried finding the words to portray all my confused and terrified thoughts that would become of us.

"If we leave," breathed, turning on my side to stare through the candle-light. "How do we...out there..."

Todd nodded. "How do we survive out there?" he finished for me. Survive. What a word and yet it was such an important one these days. His hand tightened over mine and I squeezed his back desperately.

"We're not alone here in the city." My brows furrowed. I had yet to discuss what Todd had seen for two days and I wasn't sure if I found this information he shared hopeful or disturbing but waited patiently for him to elaborate.

"Brian and I came up on this pharmacy, a few blocks away from St. Joseph actually," he said, remembering that was way past downtown towards the city's main highway and my stomach twisted at realizing how far he'd actually went. "On the second day, we found a whole bunch of shit. We got a lotta medicine, but when we got to the food section, there was a group of guys there too."

I felt dread build up, ringing the pit of my stomach very much like it had for the past two days. I bit my lip, too anxious to hear what had happened to worry about snapping pointlessly now.

"They saw us," Todd continued, a hard, thoughtful look etched deep in his eyes that were looking beyond me. "Were pretty pissed we got to the meds first, they must've already scoped the place out and knew where shit was. One of tried to jack Brian and had a gun on us."

His eyes darted down and just watched his hand fiddle with my fingers he cupped in his own. "I had him in my sights. I should've shot first."

I remembered how guilty I had felt when I had remained motionless when Brian was attacked by Michael's reanimated neighbors, and his squeezed hand in return.

"Did he shoot?" I asked.

Todd shook his head. "No. Made too much've a racket and brought the dead down on us. We all bailed."

"Maybe, he wasn't like the people Tara and them ran into," I said. "He could've shot too, but he didn't."

He seemed to think about this for a while. It pulled at me to see Todd battle with himself, because he was the bravest man I knew and it was sad he didn't know it.

Eventually he nodded, drumming my palm with his thumb in thought for a moment before dropping our hands between us on the bed. "Well now we know," he sighed. "There's others in the city, too. People who aren't sick and living like this."

"Now we know."


The next day, I woke up and rolled over to find the other side of the bed empty. I turned and frowned to see the indent to remind me Todd was indeed back and left his trace in the spare bedrooms mattress. Grumpily getting up to stretch the sleep from my limbs, I snatched my bra up off the floor to clip back on inside the baggy oversized shirt, shrugging my straps in place before pulling the shirt over my head to replace with a dark green camisole. The basketball shorts slipped loosely down my legs without much of a struggle and stepped into a pair of jean shorts instead. While fitting my converse back on over cleaner pairs of socks than the ones from last night, I grimaced at the outgrown nubs of hair up my legs that needed desperate need of shaving. I hadn't shaved since we first found the waters from Michael's floor, feeling a little selfish to be using up the water to shave my legs. However, I tried as often as I could to spare a splash for at least my underarms. Gathering up my nuisance of hair, I wrapped it up in a bun on the top of my head and tied it up with a hair tie I held on to for dear life around my wrist if it wasn't in my hair. The worst part about having a long, thick mass of hair was how troublesome it was to manage in the heat. I had yet to experience the humidity of Georgia's summers since moving here and was now suffering from how frizzy it was making my mane of hair, so much so that I constantly threw it up out of my face.

Once I felt suitable, I quietly made my way out from the spare bedroom and peeked around to judge what time of the morning it was. I regretted to find Nick, Milton and Neema had already left the apartment and presumed Michael had joined them as well. Feeling a little embarrassed I had slept in, I made to creep out and join the others that must be up on the roof already for breakfast. However, I caught the sight of the bags of medication still on the tabletop where Tara and I had deposited them along with Philip's pack now. My curiosity was perked by the sight and I found this could be the opportunity to look through the medications without receiving the attentions from others. I hastily made a break for Tara's bag, hurrying before anyone came back to notice, curious to see what it was she'd found from the list. Unzipping the bag, I found a folded up paper on top of the contents of the rest of the bag. Unfolding it, I recognized the same list Milton had given me and placed it on the table for reference. Rifling through quite a few pill bottles of various prescriptions, it was tedious to try and hurry and find anything out of the ordinary while sifting through asprins, acetaminophens, naproxens, and nasal sprays. It wasn't until one of the labels stuck out unfamiliar than the most and paused in setting it aside with the others. Anexsia the label read. I grabbed Tara's list and sure enough, my finger traced over the matching name on the list. I turned the bottle around in my hand to read the labelof its usual adult dosage since it the label wasn't too details. One tablet every four to six hours, as needed for pain. Total dosage should not exceed six tablets. See package insert for full prescribing information. I felt baffled Milton would ask for these specifically. I recognized this name more than the one I had found the other night, and now my interest was piqued full-fledged. Why would Milton feel that Michael needed such a strong opioid?

The name brought back a time, probably an incident from when I first arrived to Georgia to work for St. Joeseph's Hospital, I remember transporting a person who's daughter had called the paramedics when she found her mother unresponsive when she apparently came to visit her that day. When Zhao, another colleague I couldn't specifically remember, and I had arrived on the scene, the woman had been pale white and her vomit everywhere around her. It had turned out, the woman had overdosed accidentally on her pain medication her daughter had confirmed she'd known she'd been taking. In the ambulance on the way back to the hospital, Zhao and I had stuffed her with a tube of charcoal and pumped her stomach of the Anexsia. But for the life of me, I couldn't recall what the woman had claimed to have been taking them for in the first place.

I froze when I heard faint footsteps pattering on the wood paneling down the hallway outside, the next moment I hastily stuffed the bottles back in the bag, cringing at all the rattling the medications made but quickly zipped them in and lurched away from the table. As I was about to bolt for the door, Nick and Neema were in making their way through the doorway and stopped mid-conversation at my sudden presence. I never had much of a poker face and thought how terribly suspicious I must look, but if the two seemed too concerned about it, they didn't say as much.

"Oh, you're up," Neema said with a small smile. "I was just about to wake you."

"Morning," I offered a smile of my own, even to Nick who returned it with a slight nod. I noticed he was walking a bit more now, his limp only slightly noticeable when he limped with Neema inside. Besides the moody vibe I received from him, he seemed like he was doing better, but that wasn't anything new about Nick so I figured he must be recovering just fine.

"Heard last night went good for you guys," Neema said, stepping into the kitchen to gather up the plates and utensils we'd collected, Nick and I following to take most from her.

"Yeah I guess so," I shrugged, forgetting I was balancing forks on top of plates, cursing when one slid off and clattered to the floor. When I tried balancing to bend down and collect it, Nick retrieved it first with rolled eyes, tossing it back on my stack of plates before he limped to make his way back out the hall. I murmured a thanks as he passed me by, following out behind Neema to head up to the roof, I could smell the food cooking from down the hall and instantly felt my mouth begin to water in anticipation.

When we broke out into the daylight, I was greeted to see everyone had taken to relaxing in the sun for the morning. We were greeted first by April with Penny, Tim, and Milton sitting on a few lawn chairs beside the fire that Brian was assisting Michael to stomp out. What attracted my attention the most however, were those leaning up against the roof's ledge railings; Todd, Philip and Tara were grouped together a little ways from the rest smoking what looked to be cigarettes from between their fingers. I arched a brow as I set the plates down with Nick and Neema's, meeting Todd's gaze. Mid-drag, with the cigarette between his lips as he toked on the filter of the camel I suspected were the ones Tara had found last night, he turned to see who had emerged and grinned softly back at me while he exhaled a thick billow of smoke. I couldn't restrain the tiny smirk that crept up my lips as I fondly watched him smoke beside Philip, who I was surprised to see appreciating every puff. I could almost pretend he was the chain-smoking, go-getting delinquent he used to be when we first met. He inclined his head over at me, but found Nick was already ahead of me.

"Mind if I share a stogeey?" Nick asked, leaning down to sit on one of the chairs beside Tara.

Wish her cigarette clenched between her teeth, she reaching in her jean pockets and pulled out the pack, flipping the pack open to gesture for Nick to just take one. The man accepted gratefully, catching the lighter Tara tossed him. I waved off Tara's offer for one, instead just settling for plucking the one Todd was already smoking to take a few drags from his. It had been a long time since I'd last had a smoke; my dad had become stricter with our smoking behind his back when I was first diagnosed with asthma, and when Nat left, I never really felt to urge to smoke and only ever really did on occasion. As I blew out the little hit of tobacco, I caught Todd staring out the corner of my eye and quirked my head at him at seeing him slyly grinning down at me where I'd rested against the railing beside him. After Todd's confession about the people he and Brian had come across, we had pretty much reconciled last night. Thinking back on it now, it could be classified as manipulation the way he'd used these new soft touches of his that turned into lust-filled grasps at each other. I couldn't help but feel my cheeks heat up, and not from the sun, at the look Todd was giving me, like he knew what I'd been thinking about and felt bashful under his 'cat that drank the milk' smirk he was leering down at me. Nudging him to cut it out in front of everyone as I gave him back the cigarette and turned back around to look down over the railing at the street below. I couldn't help but take notice to quite a few bodies lying face down with the long ends of arrows sticking out their backs- or more like the back of their skulls. I wasn't sure how to make of Todd using the infected as target practice, feeling a little disturbed at this, but saw they were laid out pretty close to the building so I had to admit being a little grateful he was keeping the dead away from pressing on the glass below. But for the most part, the street had a few infected drifting in and out of the street, and it seemed none had any interest on our building at the moment.

"You never told me you're some kinda archer," I commented, quirking the side of my lips to indicate my tease.

Todd chuckled, shrugging as he tapped the end of his cigarette to deposit the ash from the end. "Some boy scout shit I learned a long time ago from my old man," he said around the light back between his teeth.

"Like remembering how to ride a bike is it?" Tara snorted.

Just shrugging again, I couldn't help but hide a secret smile at knowing his nonchalant act was just his cover for bashfulness. "Guess so," he said with a spout of smoke.

"It was a good idea pickin' it up," Philip said, nodding his head over at Todd. "How long ya think the arrows'll last you?"

Todd passed me back the cigarette while in thought for a moment, frowning. "Dunno. I picked up about four dozen of 'em and burnt through about half on the way back here," he sighed then nodded down at the shot down bodies below. "Could recycle?" he suggested. While taking a small drag, I felt myself tense already at where I predicted this was about to go.

"Don't think we should risk headin' out an' attractin' attention right now," Philip said, gratefully nipping the idea in the bud. It looked like Todd made to argue, but with a sideways glance at me, he nodded back and accepted the older mans suggestion. I snuck a glance in Nick's direction and saw I wasn't the only one that had curled on edge as he stared intently down at his feet as he took rapid intakes of smoke that he huffed out before replacing it with his next inhalation.

It wasn't much longer that Michael called that breakfast was ready. We stubbed out our cigarettes and went to collect the food Neema and April had distributed out. If we had thought we'd been crowded, now the rooftop seemed especially compacted by us. The three additions kept to themselves most of the time, but it seemed April tried to make an effort to offer help and Neema was more than capable keeping the solemn girl busy. Tim was a skinny thing and took up hardly any space, but Tara was a hard woman to miss, in both physical and mental presence. I knew Tara still had her misgivings about us, but it seemed we were becoming accustomed to each other.

We made our way to collect our plates and enjoyed the meal in a comfortable silence for the most part. Penny chatted with Brian while Philip could be heard urging her to eat. Neema and Milton seemed to be having some quiet conversation I couldn't hear while Michael had Tara and April's attentions, Tim right beside the younger of the sisters listening on as well. I was grateful when I spotted Penny move to sit beside the ledge. It seemed I would have a moment of privacy to possibly discuss an issue that I wanted to put forward with Todd. Philip made to follow after, but Nick drug his seat beside the two Blake brothers. He leaned in to converse in hushed whispers with the others, and I could only guess about what. But they seemed distracted enough to be uninterested in anyone else's conversation, so I figured it was a good a time as any.

"Hey" I murmured. His brow had been furrowed, glancing back at the hushed words going on between the three behind him, however his attention was yanked back with the nudge of my elbow.

"Hm?" I felt a little uncertain about how to approach what I wanted to say, especially since it associated with a very sensitive subject between the two of us.

"About last night," I squeezed my fork in my hand. "And the night we were drinking..." The night I spazzed out.

His attention seemed completely queued at this point, probably by how uncomfortable I was growing.

Finally I decided to come outright and just say it. "We can't keep going unprotected."

I felt my cheeks flush a little; it wasn't like we were new lovers frolicking about with but I felt we had grown a little too careless. Todd stared blankly for a moment, confused at first before he seemed to put together what I was saying. Staring thoughtful for a moment, I was worried this would instigate a bad mood between us, yet concluded I had to speak up about it sooner rather than later. Having an accident before had been horrifying enough in our old life; now of all times would be disastrous.

Rather than become riled like I feared he might, Todd nodded and looked down at his plate. I couldn't help but feel the familiar guilt at what I suspected was slight sadness coming from the man I knew had once desired a family so bad, and had been about to leave me for one.

"Alright," he said, returning his gaze back to me. I smiled back appreciatively, glad that he appeared understanding, at least now that he was forced to under our predicament. We continued chewing on our breakfast silently.

"In all the sweep you guys've done, no ones come across one little condom box?" I snorted into my breakfast and hid a grin behind my mouth as I pretended to wipe the sides of my mouth, sneaking a glance around to see if anyone could overhear. Todd's tone was attempted to be playful and I was glad he had made the initiative to lessen the tension.

"I haven't exactly asked the others if they came by any," I mumbled. Resting his plate on his lap, he reached a hand down and intertwined his in mine, grinning down at my lightly.

"I'm sure we can poke around for some-"

"H-hey!"

The smile I had slipped from my lips. The scream ripped through the quiet morning and we all whirled our heads around to look to the ledge of the rooftop where Penny was standing stock-still looking down below. But the yell wasn't from her, and another yell confirmed it hadn't come from the little girl.

"Hey! Hey little girl!"

We all lunged up, Philip snatching Penny from the railing. I gawked down to see the man yelling up; to my horror, he had a little boy held to him, the child's head limp and hung over the man's shoulder, and they were both noticeably splattered with a large amount of blood.

"Please!" he pleaded up at the sight of us. "Help us!"

Todd's first inclination was to run for the hallway and I was frightened he meant to go and and get him, but Tara had already grabbed a hold of his arm to stop him.

"Wait," she hissed sharply. "Look at him- they're infected."

The man was indeed bleeding profusely from a gash ripped out from his neck, dark crimson gushing down the neckline of his shirt down his front, his hands slick with just as much blood. The boy remained unmoving.

"P-please, man!" he screamed again up at us staring in horror down from the building's rooftop. "Help-"

"Shh! Shut up!" Nick hissed down as the stranger now began to sob, pressing the boy closer to his chest.

"We can't just leave 'em-"

"Well we can't bring 'em up here!"

"He'll bring everything biting in the city if he doesn't shut the fuck up!"

And that was definitely true; the infected that had given up to collapse inside a few open cars had indeed stirred at the man's loud pleading while a few others trickled in from other street ends to investigate, and every corpses' heads were turned at him.

"Please!" he howled regardless. "I-I'm outta bullets... Please, my boy!"

This man's pleads tore at me and I found myself staring at Todd breathless and wide-eyed. He seemed just as paralyzed about what to do, his gaze never leaving the boy draped over the man's shoulder. Todd was just as lost about what to do.

"Dude we can't get this kind of attention right now," Brian breathed beside me, he seemed just as frightened about what to do and I saw it was the approaching infected flocking towards the block he was staring so alarmed at.

"Asshole should've saved the last one for himself," Tara snapped, her grip still firm around Todd's forearm.

"Tara!" April exclaimed tearfully as she watched the approaching slaughter in horror.

"Quiet man, you're gunna bring all of Atlanta on ya'!" Nick warned down, his own fear very visible that it unnerved me.

"'Ve can't just condemn him in the street," Neema exclaimed, turning angrily on Tara. "'Ve didn't leave you to die-"

"That boy is already dead! We bring them up here, he'll turn before his father does," Tara argued, rising to Neema's challenge and forgot about holding Todd back anymore.

"The dead he attracts will be sure ta' break down the whole lobby," Philip interjected, having scooped Penny away to hold against his own chest, much like the man in the street did with his dead boy. I could see the girl looked just as horrified by the scene unfolding below and her father placed his hands over her ears to block out the man's screams. Everyone remained silent, only the sound of approaching groans and sobs to fill the gap as we all stared lost back at each other.

"We can't leave him down there like this," I whispered, even though I had no suggestions on what to do if we didn't allow him up the fire escape. I remembered the open-firing done at the CDC to those infected, having condemned the sick I had transported to a slaughter that some would consider a mercy.

"He'll die anyways," Tara muttered.

"Is that how you'd wanna die?" Philip asked, his voice clipped and edged.

But as we argued, a louder scream ruptured and we turned to see the man staggering around to avoid the dead, but one lunged and toppled the man over. My hand muffled a scream as the boy rolled from his father's grasp when they fell to the ground and the rotted-man didn't waste a moment to tear into the boy's cheek where he remained still motionless. The man roared and wrestled his sons body from the teeth from the boy's face, but only resulted in the corpse lunging for the father's flesh instead. The man battled with it in the street, the dead-man's mouth still full of his son's flesh that I saw the blood drip down onto the father struggling beneath it. However, as the man seemed to grab a good enough hold to haul the thrashing corpse off, another infected close by ran up to sink her teeth near the piece of flesh already torn off on his neck, ripping at the gaping flesh even more while the mean hollered in agony. Seemingly spurred by the exposure of blood, two more ran up; one grabbed a hold of his flailing legs, ripping through his pants to take a chunk of flesh from his leg. The other came up beside the one gauging apart his neck, almost looking as if she would have kissed him as she bent down, but instead opened her mouth to rip the flesh of his lips right from his face. All while he was alive and still screaming.

"Oh God-" April sobbed and I watched her turn away with her hands over her face. I wondered if it was a cruel reminder of her own group being torn apart so very similarly. Even after being so fatally torn into by three dead, the man was still screeching in what must be such terrible and I found myself hiccuping behind my hand at such brutality.

"He's still alive," I gasped, tears welling in my eyes as I looked to anyone. "Do something!"

"Put him out of his suffering, goddamnit!" Nick finally shouted, his own face smeared with disgust as the man was continued to be ripped into.

"You mean shoot him?" Tim gaped, running his hands across his head as he brought his arms up like he was trying to block out the man's screams as well.

"That'll be just as loud," Brian breathed, his own complexion ghostly white while his adam's apple bobbed in his throat.

"Todd," Philip suddenly called, his hands still clamped over his little girl's ears but tears were still pouring from her eyes all the same. "Your bow."

I felt my jaw slacken and turned to see Todd rooted beside me, his eyes meeting Philip's as he seemed to process what Philip was suggesting. I never saw such a looked pass over Todd's face, reminding me of the night before when he told me about the men they'd run into in the streets. I caught Brian's face as he looked upon Todd, his expression anxious and I wondered how much infliction this put upon him. Not wanting this kind of death of Todd's conscience, I reached out for him and attempted to protest, but in the same moment, he turned to grab up the bow that had been leaning against his chair and pulled out an arrow from the cylinder case beside it. He returned to the railing and heaved a heavy sigh at the sight of how many dead had piled up on the poor guy, with his head barely visible around all those devouring him.

Setting his arrow and pulling it back with its bowstring, my words hitched in my throat as I watched in shock as Todd was about to end this poor man's shrieks. It would be a mercy, and that was the one thought that hesitated me stopping him. We all watched as Todd seemed to hold his aim down at the man, his grip on the bow clenching and his teeth clenching as he willed himself to do it. His handsome face was screwed up in remorse and it looked as if it pained him to release the arrow as he grit his teeth. I wanted to tell him to stop, but was interrupted when one of the infected took a gash out of his jugular, choking his cries into loud painful gurgles. Not able to watch on anymore, I turned away and made to cover my ears when a loud distinctive shot rang out, causing me to jump and whirl back around.

Todd had dropped his aim and stared open mouthed much like everyone else at Tara who was slowly lowering the barrel of a smoking gun. Realizing she must have taken the shot, I almost felt relieved until Nick riled angrily.

"Fuck! We said not to shoot!" he lashed out, but I could see he was really scared as shit when the next moment, we had attentions turned our way in search of the source of the air piercing shot. It felt like hundreds had flocked, completely riled and blood-thirsty as it was to scramble or a bite of flesh, burying the now silent man and his son, but the shot seemed to gather them into an even bigger frenzy.

The next moment, their was a loud, grinding crack that pierced through the air almost distinct as the gunshot- and than a loud collapse of shattering.

The glass.

We all listened motionless as a hail of glass seemed to rain down below, almost drowning out the loud moans from below before it eventually faded. We all knew what had broken and we all remained motionless in shock about what that meant. As we peeked over the edge, the entire street was flooded with infected that had been drawn like flies to the light by Tara's gunshot.

And in the next few moments, the dam of paralyzed silence ruptured into maddening panic between us all.

"Now look at this shit! You've lead the whole goddamn city to our doorstep!"

"That guy was torturing and attracting them all the same- someone had to do it!"

April was practically sobbing in fright somewhere along with Penny who had begun to cry too, seeming to understand enough to know we were in true danger. Tara and Nick were arguing rather aggressively with each other while Michael and Brian were trying to settle them back. As I stared around, I saw a few others were still stuck in shock; Neema remained motionless as she just stared down at the mass of dead ambling around against our building while Milton was all but petrified. When I looked to Philip, his eyes were darting around rapidly as it seemed he was hastily piercing together what to do, his daughter clutched tight to him. Our gazes found each other and I felt real fear from the father.

"We're trapped." Neema breathed almost emotionless.

"That's fucking right," Tara snarled. "If we'd have left when I told ya'll-"

"Quiet- all of you!" Anyone who had been bickering were silenced by Michael's command, a little stunned at hearing his tone sharper than any of us had ever heard it. "They'll hear you all from the lobby at this rate," he said.

"He's right." We all turned to Philip, cradling his daughter's head against his chest as seemed to be struggling with what to say. "None'a that matters now. We needa' leave and we needa' leave soon."

"How?" Tim exclaimed. "There's no way to get through a crowd like that."

"Anyone who goes out there would be ripped to pieces," Neema agreed, her features etched deep in worry.

"How long you think we've got till they get the urge to come up this far?" Todd finally croaked from beside me. It seemed none of us had an answer and I could all but wring my trembling hands together, my pulls of breath becoming harder inbetween the anxiety caving in my chest. We'd all ripped to pieces. I found myself glancing towards the ledge of the rooftop, considering if jumping from it if the dead breached the stairway would be a mercy instead. My lungs heaved painfully and I felt physically yanked down by my shortness of breath. Grabbing my inhaler tucked in my pocket, I huffed in the medication but just hissed as my chest tensed painfully. People were talking, but all I could hear were the groans and growls were calling down for us, moaning for the taste of our flesh to devour like the man and boy. When I was a little girl, I forever craved for something more and dreamed of every way to escape, to my disappointment the cold reality sunk deep into my bones, cementing me to the ground. I imagined none of those infected had imagined such a fate for themselves, but I felt utterly devastated this was it. I'd die, eaten without a trace of existence after they were done tearing every piece from my bones like we'd watched before. I'd never go back to Med School, I'd never know what became of my sisters or my dad, and I'd most likely watch the man I love die right beside me, erased as well. I had no idea how I'd even be able to bear watching Todd disappear, even if I myself were to fall under the dead's teeth with him- or any one of us who had gotten to know, a few of us even considering each other friends. I know I did.

And then someone was hauling me up. I was yanked around to see Todd staring worriedly at me. My inhaler was pulled from my hand and before I could ask, he was pressing it to my lips and encouraging me to take deep breaths.

"Slowly," he murmured, resting a large hand softly across my chest plate, emphasizing its rise and fall. I concentrated on trying to do as Todd advised, watching his hand rise with my rattled inhalations as I tried to ease it back down with a more control exhale. But I could still see his hand shaking over my clavicle.

After another intake from the inhaler and a minute or so later it seemed, my heart stopped beating so rapidly in my ear drums and I wasn't completely blinded in panic. The chorus of the dead was still prominent, but it seemed everyone's yelling had stopped.

Turning to look and see what had happened to everyone, Todd steered my gaze back. "Better?" he asked. I was marveled how eerily calm he sounded at a time like this, but I nodded back anyways, still trying to remember to control my breathing.

"Listen," he continued, one hand still on my chest and the other squeezing my fingers still holding onto my inhaler. "I want you to go get our stuff together. I'm gunna help Neema get the food and medicine together, I'll come help you when we're finished."

I could only blink back dumbly as it took me a moment to grasp what he was asking, but everything had happened so suddenly from this morning I felt dizzy trying to keep up with it all.

"We can't leave," I choked, feeling another pull at my lungs but I forced it to remain dormant. "There's too many- where would we go-!"

"We can't stay," Todd enunciated with his grip squeezing me tighter. "Please, just get your stuff together. We'll figure something out."

My eyes were watering and blurring my vision that I could hardly make him out, and with my next blink they splashed down onto face and trickled down my cheek as I hiccuped an ok. It seemed Neema had been collecting up the pots and cooking materials while she'd been waiting for us, seeing us begin to make our way back to the hall and was quick to follow out along with us. As we made our way through the hall, I could see the apartment the Chalmer girls and Tim had taken up residence in was wide open and commotion could be heard coming from inside along with distant sniffling. The Blakes' sounded very much the same as we passed, most likely scrambling to gather up their things as well. Michael's apartment door was already open and it was a calamity of people running around; Nick was grabbing up articles of his clothing to stuff in his bag in a none too neat fashion while Brian was giving Milton various things to store away in bags. Todd urged me to hurry as he and Neema went join Brian and Milton to help packing.

Rushing down the hall to our room, I saw Michael's door was cracked open and assumed the man was getting his things together as well. I closed the door behind me though as I dreadfully went to the drawers I had stored all the clothes I'd selected for myself and replaced them in Todd's still-packed bag, all the while quietly crying as I packed away what few possessions we even had. Besides clothes, I packed away a few of our toiletries, grabbing whatever; shavers, tweezers, a hairbrush, soap, our toothbrushes and tooth paste. The clothes bag was bursting around the zipper I had to yank and maneuver closed, but I eventually stowed away most of our necessities. With a grunt, I hauled the bag over my shoulder, leaving Todd's initial duffel bag he used to store his guns and the huge rifle of his for last. Still unsure about what to even do with our luggage from this point, I made to join the others get supplies together, but paused in the room's doorway to see Michael's room still slightly propped open, still unopened since the last I'd seen it. I hesitated, but decided to drop the bags in the hallway and make my way to Michael's bedroom down the hall.

Resting my palm across the door as delicately as I would have if it had been the glass before it broke, hesitant to intrude. But Milton's words from before rung in my ears, making my heart squirm ominously when I hoarsely called out to Michael without hearing any response. After gently knocking, I still didn't hear an indication from inside so I decided to slowly nudge the door open so I could peer inside. It was dark and silent, the drapes inside were shut and only a soft hue of light was allowed to beam in through the bedroom window. The room was untouched by the uproar just down the hall, and it was the lack of packing that had my heart hitch at the sight of the man sat like stone on the end of his bed. Michael didn't look up at my presence and didn't even acknowledge me when I cautiously approached him, only stirring when I sat down beside him and added my weight to creak the bed a bit. I sneaked a peek to see it was a photograph he was clutching so tightly to, another face of a woman looking back up at his from the captured moment of a life he no longer had. My eyes welled up and I selfishly wished Betty Coleman wouldn't hold her husband here if we were to really leave. His glassy blue eyes reflected back at me, and he must have seen the daunting realization shadow over me as he patted a hand over mine. His wrinkled palm was scratchy and stiff, but I couldn't remember a time I'd been touched so tenderly.

"Take her," I whispered, shakily turning my hand over to squeeze his back fervently. "Take all the pictures and memories- just, don't stay here behind."

Michael didn't need me to explain what I was asking as he continued to almost stare sadly at me, frustrating me that he could remain so content with a decision I knew was coming.

"My dear, my part has ran its course" he said. "I've been left behind for a long time now. I'd already accepted my death a long time ago, Olive."

I sniffed and wiped my tears as they began to slide free, already shaking my head in refusal. It was then Michael's words almost rang a gong in my head as I recalled hearing those words before. I already accepted my death a long time ago. I remembered now, the woman who's stomach we pumped of aztiq, had become conscious as we were already pulling into the hospital. Tears had been rolling down her cheeks around the oxygen mask we had over half her face. I had tried assuring her she would be ok, thinking she was just frightened by everything happening around her. But she had been trying to talk I realized and uncovered her mouth for a moment to discern what she was trying to say. A lot of people thanked us for our help in their most frightening moments that made a life's difference to the hospital, but how could I forget the time I was actually cursed for saving someone's life. I already accepted my death a long time ago. I remember feeling terribly guilty for a long time after that.

Before I could dwell too long on the similarity, Michael added, "I was never too frightened until seven people were screaming outside my door, who I could save if I reached out."

"What about Milton?" I urged. "He could've escaped out of the city, but he didn't. He stayed behind to check on you. Isn't he worth leaving for, if not the other seven- or eleven people you've saved?"

"Milton understands better than anyone," Michael replied softly.

"What?" I snapped tearfully. "That you've got cancer?"

Michael seemed truly surprised and I quickly rubbed my eyes and gulped down anymore crying.

"I saw the medication Michael," I said. "This isn't about you being sick."

It seemed I had disrupted this man's reverence as he studied me with his brows furrowed and troubled. I called out his bullshit.

"We had eight floors last night, now today everything's fucking shattered. Things are changing at the drop of a dime, and any one of us could die at any time." I took in a sharp breath to try to ease myself, straining against the lump in my throat. "This isn't about cancer being your death sentence. This is about you afraid to leave."

Michael rose and paced away towards the bedroom window with his back turned on me, my stomach dropped to see him stare through the curtains at the dead gathered outside.

"Olive, I want to go." My shoulder shivered at how pleading it almost sounded. "Even before the cancer...I've wanted to just be with my wife."

I felt disturbed by such an admission from Michael; he had saved all our lives and I would have never believed him to a man to lay down and give up. I could understand the lack luster of life had dimmed quite considerably, but I was almost in angry disbelief at his willingness to die like this.

"You saved us!" I huffed incredulously. "You were what saved us from being torn apart in the street. And you expect us to leave you behind to let the same happen-!"

"Then that's my fate." Michael turned, his voice rose above mine and his face was drawn into a deep frown, the creases in his skin more prominent.

"No, it's suicide," I fought back. "If you hadn't stayed, we wouldn't be alive. Don't you think that's fate?"

It seemed Michael was struggling with how to answer me, but before he could respond back uneasily, loud crashing came from down the hall that sent us both jump up and come running. I hardly made it a couple feet before I was yanked back into the hallway, nearly avoiding a pair of wrestling bodies. Michael had pulled me back in time where I was shocked to see Nick and Brian land where I had been just a moment ago. Everyone was shouting, Penny was screaming, but the loud grunts and shouts from the two fighting and rolling for dominance. I had to hand it to Nick, he came almost a half a foot shorter than his supposed friend, but it appeared he had already taken a slug by the look of his bleeding nose and was scrapping quite angrily to push Brian off. The younger Blake brother wasn't unscathed either, a cut dribbling from his lip as he struggled back to overpower the other. It was frighting to see men fight, and I remembered why at how much Nick's fist rocked against Brian's jaw, just to receive just as brutal of a punch straight into Nick's nose, I was surprised I hadn't heard it crack.

Todd and Philip were able to stop any further retaliation and threw the two on opposite ends of the living room, all four men panting, Nick swiped his hand over his nose to try and clean off the snot and blood that was rapidly gushing down his mouth now while Brian licked at the cut on his own lip, but the two glared dangerously at one another across the room. I was bewildered that they would be throwing fists at each other at a time like this.

Out of breath and still winded, Nick rose his finger to point accusingly over Philip at Brian to shout,"You can't just-"

"I can't what? We only got so many options, and we need one person to go," Brian lashed back out, his chest was heaving heavily as he continued to try to wipe at his llip. The medic in me wanted to rush over and attend to Nick's gushing nose, but the violence of this argument I was totally clueless to shocked me still beside Michael.

"You're not gunna be some sacrifice!" Nick spat. "If we did go down that route- we should be sending out the broad we should thank for this whole fucking situation."

"If it should be anyone, it should be you out there!" Tara suddenly piped in next to her sister who had now joined the rest of us in Michael's apartment.

"Alright- enough!"Philip roared, shoving Nick back for emphasis. "It's useless pointin' fingers now. What Nick's suggestin' 'bout drawin' straws is fair..."

"It doesn't have to be fair," Brian snapped. He slicked his hand over his sweat-soaked forehead and licked at his lip before continuing a little calmer after taking a shaky breath. "I said I'd go."

I felt my heart sink even lower than it had discussing Michael's refusal to leave. I had a horrible idea what was being discussed right now. My eyes flickered to the little girl being held back by Neema and felt awful at how devastated she looked to her uncle.

"No," Philip rejected flatly. I could see Brian bristling at his older brother's finality. "You can't just make that kinda' decision," he muttered, disbelieving.

"You wanna put this decision on a draw?" Brian exclaimed, catching my eyes across the room before turned to address Todd in still holding a hand over Brian's shoulder to steady him back. "You'd send Neema out there? What about Olive? You want to chance her drawing the wrong straw?"

Todd was already frowning and I could see him avert his attention towards me staring back wide-eyed and scared. However, Brian's words rung through me and I couldn't help but become deathly frightened Todd would be the one to draw unlucky if it should come down to such desperation.

"Isn't there another way?" April asked quietly, looking just as nervous about all this.

"You'd be sending someone to be slaughtered," Milton said, his voice trembling.

Everyone was quiet was a good long while.

"If people are willing to volunteer...then they agree to the terms if chosen," Neema said, glancing around to us.

"It's fair," Todd agreed softly as well. I turned to him horrified but he avoided my gaze and my heart raced at realizing he would intend to participate.

"You'd disappear," I blurted, my body trembling but I didn't care as all eyes turned on me. "Like that father and his boy we let die down there."

People avoided each others looks at the fresh remembrance of the man we watched be ripped apart below us.

"I'd volunteer." We all balked as Neema stepped forward, even Nick eyed her incredulously, no one expecting the Indian woman to be the one to take the risk first.

"S-so would I." I was shocked it was Tim to step up as well. I could see April looked appalled and Tara eyed the younger boy she'd traveled with skeptically.

Philip, who had been standing closest to Tim beside Nick, leaned over to pat the boy of the back and nodded his own gesture of agreement, but had a very solemn shadow over his features. One by one, everyone but Penny had stepped forward to volunteer to let themselves be drawn as the distraction. Even Milton had reluctantly inclined, obviously uncomfortable by the proposition. I too stepped forward, shaking like a leaf as I volunteered as well, selfishly out of spite for Todd participating more than fairness.

Having been the one to start the fire this morning, Brian fished out the matched from inside his jean pockets and counted out eleven. Flicking one lit with the side of the matchbox, he let the flame blacken the end before he blew it out to mix with the others turned upside down. It went around, Philip braving the first match that appeared unused, much to his poor little girl's relief. Brian and Nick stared stoically at one another as Brian silently offered him his turn while the other squabbling man chose. The match he pulled was also unburned, so it moved on to Neema, who also picked another red-ended match. I watched on the edge as Todd then took his turn across the room the chose his match, then breathed a quiet sigh of relief his match showed no indication it was ever lit. The two girls drew theirs and I could see each cringed in fearful anticipation as they pulled their matches free, but both were not the previously lit one. As the odds were staked higher with each person it missed, the anxiety was growing with every next person; no one wanted to be the one luck ran out on. Milton's fingers were practically spasming with how hard they trembled as he drew his match, almost causing Brian to drop the others, but his color returned in relief when he came up in the clear. I couldn't believe it had come this far down the line, leaving only four of us left as I began to realize I had a very high possibility of choosing the black match at this point. After Tim picked another red-ended match, I felt paralyzed in fear for a moment having the last three sticks thrust in my face. I bit my lip and shakily exhaled a nervous breath; everyone else was brave enough to choose, it would only be humiliating if I refused now and I didn't believe I was that selfish. I slid out one of the toothpick sticks and held my breath as I pulled it free of Brian's fingers.

My breath whooshed out in disbelief at the red-ended match I held in my hand and was stunned it hadn't been me. Flicking my gaze to instinctively seek out Todd's, who was eying the match I still clenched in front of my face very intently with his jaw clenched. However, any kind of relief I felt was tainted when I turned to see it was Michael's turn next. I felt horrible that it was now down between Michael and Brian- two men having expressed they had no quarrels with dying. But too my horror, as Michael drew from the last two left, he held it up for all to see the blackened end.

We all remained motionless, devastated. Milton's mouth was gaping like a fish gasping out of water, his eyes wide behind his thick glasses, and he wasn't alone as I found Neema's eyes shone just as crestfallen that it should be Michael. Brian cursed and chucked his match in frustration. It had almost been him. If I felt guilty, I couldn't imagine how it must feel for him.

"Guess that means me," Michael sighed, nodding acceptance

A distant pop then stopped all other conversation. My jaw clamped shut as I listened closely, and flinched when another couple of shots went off like the distant echoes of fireworks going off. We were all accounted for, so it couldn't have been one of us and it sounded much to distant to be on our same block. Quite a lot of activity was happening amongst the city these days. Yet now I wasn't sure if that was a good thing anymore.

We all practically sprinted out the front door and down the hall to look out from the rooftop. To our astonishment, much like the dead had trickled in, most had stopped all pursuit for any remaining scraps of what were once humans and attentions were turned to the distance. Attracted by the gunshots from the distance, the dead trickled out to follow what other possibility of living flesh could be in the city.

I couldn't help but look to Michael, and when he turned to find my gaze staring at him, I wished he could realize if there was a sign of his fate, this was it.

Ok, so I won't be mad if you all rampage at me for taking forever. Honestly, I went a little crazy with this chapter and it was actually intended to be even longer. I cut it though since I didn't want so much so be stuffed into one chapter, so I hope it doesn't come off as too rushed. I've also been working on chapter twelve in between too, so that's also another excuse for why this took so freakin long. I reallyyyy hope this came off ok, I admit this was a bit of a filler chapter, but I also wanted it to be dedicated to more character development. I hope this chapter brought more love to the Woodbury group. So hopefully, I can wrap up the next chapter asap and have that out for you guys quicker.

Again, your reviews inspire me and it's addicting to hear what you guys think of the plot and Olive. I'll admit, it's fun writing characters you might not particularly like, and to be honest, if I was apart of the group, I might find Olive a little frustrating, haha. But I hope she wasn't too whiney for you guys. I honestly can't wait to write the next chapter for the Woodbury group, but alas, I will give you all another two chapter of current-Olive before I get to that.

BTW, I own nothing but the OC's you don't recognize. The little part Penny and Philip are talking about people being sick is actually from the book Rise of Woodbury. And the song is Hanging On by Ellie Goulding.

(Edit: I realized instead of Tim, I put Jim the entire chapter XD! My apologies and sorry if there was any confusion!)