Gift Or Torture
Chapter 11
Jasper Falls a Little More
JPOV
I knew she was falling asleep, but instead of sending her to bed, I waited for her to fall asleep and then carried her up the her room. She looks like an angel when she's sleeping. As I laid her on the bed, I leaned in a little closer and kissed her perfect lips. They were so warm! It was the first time I had ever had my lips touch a human and not drink them, and I didn't even have to fight the desire to drain her! As I pulled back, she let out a whimper, which made me smile. I then headed out for a hunt. I wasn't that hungry, but I still wasn't willing to risk it.
When I returned, Carlisle met me in the yard. "Jasper, I was hoping to speak to you."
I could feel a change in his mood towards me. I have been a vampire long enough to know what it was; I was now a threat to something that was his. We are too territorial with things that are ours. Ginny is giving him and Esme the baby, therefore, whether he realizes it or not, he will protect her and the baby, even from me. "Yes, Carlisle?" I knew until the baby arrived I would need to be careful around my own family.
"How sure is Ginny about this? Esme is so excited, I don't want to see her get hurt," he explained.
"Since she decided this and you accepted, she has been very much at peace. I haven't seen her this relaxed the whole time I have known her. She does love the baby; I feel the love she has for it radiating off of her. But she knows she's not able to deal with being a parent. There's a lot she wants to do in her life. She knows that she wouldn't be able to do most of it with a child, and that not getting to do those things would cause her to resent the baby."
"She has talked a lot to you about this?"
"Yes. She worries people will think poorly of her for wanting a life of her own before having children. I think that she saw her mother give up so much for her own children. She will one day be a good mother, but right now she needs time to be selfish."
"Jasper, what is going on between you and her?" Carlisle inquired.
"What do you mean?" I asked in return..
"Well, we all know that at this point spending time with her isn't going to explain why she doesn't affect you, so why are you still spending time with her?"
I wondered if he knew where this was coming from or if he even realized he was doing it. "She's different, and there are new stories to hear, new things to discover. I enjoy my time with her."
"Jasper, are you in love with her?" he pushed.
I wondered, do I dare voice it? Yes I do. "She's an incredible person. Her emotions come to me so clearly, but they are softer and not as overwhelming as others. I can't explain it, but I need her."
"Does she know how you feel?"
"No, and she won't either. She needs to live her life, to get married, to have children, to grow old. She doesn't need to be tied to someone like me."
"She is now a member of this family. How do you plan on dealing with that?" he asked.
"I will forever be her best friend I will be there for her whenever she needs me."
He smiled at me. "What happens when she falls in love?"
I clenched my hands into fists at the idea. "I will never want to kill a human as much as I will want to kill him, but I won't because of what it would do to her."
"Why not just tell her how you feel? She might feel the same!" Carlisle mused.
"I, of all people, would know if she did. She doesn't, and I won't risk her knowing and having it change things for us."
I felt him slip into acceptance of what I was saying. He changed the subject. "Alice called. She'll be here next week and says she can't wait to meet her little sister."
I smiled at the thought of my ex wife; she did love family. "It will be good to see her."
The next morning, as I drove her to the university, she called Severus. I didn't need my power to tell he was still concerned for her hanging out with vampires, but he was accepting that I wasn't going anywhere any time soon. I found their relationship fascinating. He cares far more for her than he should, and she truly respects and cares for him and how he feels. I had brought him up and she did tell me his story. It was sadly beautiful. I think that part of his feelings for Ginny have to do with the fact she reminds him of former classmate Lily. However it didn't matter; he cares for her and would do anything to protect her. That's what matters to me.
Unlike my brother Edward, I do understand the value in numbers. All the more people willing to protect her, the better. Based on past evidence, he will do whatever it takes to protect her. I know she is fully capable of protecting herself, but anything extra the better.
As our class ended before lunch, my cell phone rang. It was Esme calling.
"Hello, Esme."
"Jasper, sorry for calling you, but I don't have Ginny's cell number."
I was sitting next to her, so I asked, "She's right here; do you want to talk to her?'
"Please."
I handed my cell to Ginny. "Hello, Esme!" she said excitedly.
"Ginny, Carlisle just called and told me he needs to cover a shift at the hospital. We had tickets to the symphony tonight, so I was wondering if you would join me?"
"Um, I think that would be nice, but..."
I could feel embarrassment coming off of Ginny.
"Let me guess, you never bought anything that fancy when you got your maternity wear, right?" Esme guessed right. "Did Jasper tell you that Alice could see the future? Well before Carlisle called, a package arrived addressed to you. With Alice on the case, you can be sure it's the right size."
Her embarrassment was gone. "You'll have to let me know where to send a thank you." She now felt uncomfortable.
"Ginny dear, with Alice as soon as you thought it, she knows it. I assure you she knows, so there's no need to send one. We need to leave by about seven. See you then!"
"Bye." Ginny closed my phone and handed it back to me. That was one nice thing about her being a witch; we didn't have to stop and explain every little thing to her. She knew I had heard every word Esme said.
I smiled at her. "The dress will be very nice. Alice is most likely on the phone with Rose telling her what to do with your hair and makeup. Alice's favorite pastime was Barbie Bella." I was confused because Ginny was still feeling uncomfortable about something. "What's wrong, Ginevra?"
She pressed her lips together and closed her eyes as she swallowed, then she slowly opened her eyes. "Everything about you guys screams money." She was now embarrassed again. "I don't do well in that area. I mean, I can save money and stuff like that, but I don't like money being spent on me. You see, in a house with seven kids, Mum had to stay home. With only one income, money was always tight, very tight. But I have my pride, and I don't like things being bought for me." I could tell how strongly she felt about this. I was surprised she wasn't crying. "Money was so tight, I never even thought twice when I found a diary with someone else's name on it with my school books."
I had to put her concerns to rest. I wrapped my arm around her and took her to the car. Once in, I explained, "Don't worry about money as far as we go. Carlisle always did well for himself and the rest of his family. When Alice and I joined the family, we were able to play the stock market, make good investments, and even play the lottery, all with great results. We now have more money than we will need for a very long time. The whole family enjoys spoiling anyone we can. As far as the family goes, you are a member of our family! What's ours is yours."
"No, I don't want it. Not if it means I'll become like him," she whispered. I knew a human would have never made out the words.
"Like who?" I asked.
Her beautiful eyes grew big as she realized that I made out perfectly what she had said. Then she looked down into her lap. "Like Draco."
I could feel the hurt that came off of her. "Why do you think you would become like him?"
"You remember the day we first went to the tea house?" I nodded, but let her continue. "You're like him."
She angered me with this statement. I was nothing like him! He was allowed to have her and he tossed his chance with her out the window. "I'M NOTHING LIKE HIM!" I roared at her.
I knew any other human would have been scared, but not her. "Yes you are. You left a tip bigger than the bill. Draco always did things like that. Do you remember that our families never got along? Well, he spent six years at Hogwarts making fun of me and my brothers because we were poor and his father is the richest man in the wizarding world. Looking back now, he had found other ways to remind me that I was poor when we were together. Like you did that day."
I looked at her for a second. "Ginny, it has been almost 170 years since I have 'eaten' out. I have never even looked at a menu in that time, never mind asking any of my family what is expected as a tip. I was only making sure I did nothing wrong."
Now she felt bad. "Oh, I'm sorry! I'm just overly sensitive about this. Um, Jasper, do you need to feed? Your eyes are black!"
I knew they would be because I was mad. "No. I'll be fine in a bit."
She smiled at me. "You can look rather scary," she admitted.
I smirked at her. "Then why don't I feel fear coming from you?" Instead of fear, I felt a huge amount of lust.
She looked me straight in the eyes and spoke, "Because I know you won't hurt me."
As much as I loved hearing her say that, she needed to face the truth of the risks. I pulled the car over to the side of the road, turned towards her, and placed my hands on her upper arms, holding them tightly. I wanted her scared. "You can't ever forget what I am! Or that you are my natural food source! We don't know what it is about you that causes me not to thirst for your blood, but that could change at any second. Don't ever make the mistake of trusting me!"
She whimpered in fear, and I felt her pain and her fear of me. I felt like my own heart had been ripped out. I never had been hurt as much by someone's fear and pain. I let go of her and got out of the car. "Drive yourself to the house. I need to clear my head." I took off into the woods.
I hadn't made it to the tree line when she yelled, "Jasper, I can't drive a stick!"
I was feeling horrible about scaring her like that, but I couldn't leave her pregnant on the side of the road, either. Then she started to cry and I could feel her fear of being left alone. That did me in; I ran, not caring who might see me, back to the car. I slipped in next to her as she was trying to wipe the tears away. Again I felt pride coming off of her.
This time I pulled her towards me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." I breathed in her scent and enjoyed the feel of her in my arms.
"Arrogant vampires needing extra challenges," she muttered. "Severus said no one drives a stick."
"Don't cry," I pleaded with her. I was hit with a wave of pride that almost knocked me over. I regretfully pulled back from her.
"I wasn't crying," she tried to cover.
I wiped away a tear. "You're right. My eyes must be tricking me," I lied.
"Yes they are."
I smiled a half smile at her and felt a spike of lust coming off of her. Her emotions were all over the place.
"You need to realize most of my own kind fear me. I'm not used to not being feared."
"There are things to be more fearful of in the world," she stated simply.
I pulled the car back onto the highway and asked, "Like what?"
She looked over at me. "An idea in the hands of the wrong person or type of people."
I have been alive through seven wars, two of which I played a part in, but she made sense. "You're right there," I declared.
A/N- Penny for your thoughts... Please let me know what you think, the only way that I can make any story better is if you tell me what you like!
