Hi, did you miss me, guys? XD
The eleven chapter, a lot sooner than expected. You see, I had been kind of stuck on the story because I couldn't go beyond a certain point, but this week I have been writing a lot, and here's the result. I hope you like it and that it is a good chapter.
Thanks to those who are following the story and reading it regularly, it means a lot to me. Also, thanks to Steph and Badi-otaku for their comments.
This chapter contains a scene of graphical violence.
I do not own Far Cry nor none of its characters.
I hope you like how the characters and the story are developing. Should you have any question or feel that something has been left unclear, you can contact me :)
"Wakey wakey, chica! C'mon! Get your ass out of bed, it's a fucking perfect day outside, sun shining, birds singing and all that shit!" screamed the mad pirate next to my ear, shaking my shoulder. I sat bolt upright when he woke me up.
"Wha…What? 'S the matter?" I blurted out looking around in confusion; the pirate was next to me smiling devilishly, the corners of his eyes crinkled. He ruffled my already dishevelled hair laughing under his breath.
"No need to freak out, hermana. Dress and fetch breakfast, got many things to do!" he left the bed and walked to the desk. I looked at him full of astonishment and distrust; he was in an extremely good mood, the question was why, and how it would affect me. Still with my eyes locked on his back, I began getting dressed to get breakfast; I would rather keep him in a good humour.
I walked fast to the canteen; the excitement there was tangible too. The pirates laughed and joked to each other. I heard one of them saying:
"Yeah man, tomato sauce day again, and we're gonna get our bucks! I'll go to Bad Town to get a hoe and a good bag of yayo and then get fucking high!" announced a big black man with bulging muscles.
My slang vocabulary had expanded considerably those days, but I didn't understand what he meant with "tomato sauce day", even if I could get the gist of the rest.
I picked up two pieces of fruit and got back to the shanty; the pirate was on the outside. I gave him his mango and sat on the steps, he still smiled in a pleased way, as if it was his birthday and waited for presents. I ate my mango, this time more carefully than the other day, as I had ended up with my hands drenched in juice.
He finished having breakfast sooner, then he took out a cigar out of one of his pockets and lighted it with a match, which he threw to the ground with a flick of his fingers. He took a long drag, closing his eyes in relaxation and contentment.
We were sitting there when a man appeared on the summit, he wore green pants and a red sleeveless T-shirt with a faded skull and bones; his eyes were covered by a pair of sunglasses and carried an AK-47 slung over his shoulder. He also had some red pieces of cloth around his extremely tanned wrists and arms, and one around his head.
"Vaas?" he stopped respectfully a few metres away from us.
"Yeah, what's the matter, hermano?" asked the other, his voice still relaxed.
"We've got the money and all, Do I get everything ready in the main area?"
"Ok, man, whatever, I'll come down later," said the other. The man nodded slightly and left without saying anything else. What did he meant with "get everything ready"? I supposed they had got the money from the ransom of other hostages. Would they have gotten mine? I didn't think so, I hadn't been fourteen days since the video was recorded, I felt positive about that.
I looked inconspicuously at the man behind me. There was an unfathomable expression on his face, he looked more sober than before, though. He had nearly finished his cigar, he twirled it between his fingers pensively. Then, he seemed to notice that I was looking at him and locked his eyes with mine. We looked at each other silently for a few seconds, then his mouth split into a wide impish grin.
He got up and stretched his arms. Then threw the put out cigar to the ground, he descended the steps and made a motion with his fingers for me to get up. I just stared at him quizzically.
"What are you waiting for? Fucking follow me!" he growled, waving his arm aggressively towards himself. I got up and walked behind him, my feet felt as heavy as lead. He gave long strides, his upper body haughtily pushed outwards. Other men were walking in the same direction as us, they nodded or made some gesture to Vaas when they saw him.
I noted that we had taken the same trail that man and Sarah had followed just two days ago. My stomach churned painfully, what did he plan? Had he grown tired of me and was giving me to his men? There was a throng of pirates on a wider area, they opened like the waters of the Red Sea when Vaas appeared, leaving a passage for us.
I was strongly reminded of the day I fought, but that time I wasn't naked, nor was Sarah with me. There was a platform on the middle of the open area. On it were kneeling five figures, men with their hands tied behind their backs. Two pirates flanked them, guarding them with shotguns in their hands. We climbed the steps to the top of the platform, my knees felt about to collapse. Why was he bringing me there?
The men on the platform were as pale as death, covered in cold sweat. They were all rather young, their clothes tattered and dirty, bruised faces and trembling limbs. All of them cringed in fear when they saw the pirate lord stalking towards them, a cruel smile on his face, eyes agleam.
"Well guys, time to take the garbage out, don't you think?" he announced to the crowd, they laughed and cheered. "After that you will receive your money so you can spend it on pussies, dope, guns and whatever the fuck you like," they cheered even louder. "But today, I will not do the honours. Chica here will instead," he said, pointing to me.
"Oh, no, no, please, please, let him be joking," I prayed, feeling my knees trembling. However, that maniac walked up to me pulling his gun out of his holster, he presented it to me. I did not try to take it, just stood there looking at him transfixed.
"Come on, don't be shy, take it," he told me, pushing its butt against my chest in impatience.
"I can't," I mouthed, the sound was barely audible over the voices of the pirates. His eyes blazed darkly.
"What did you say?" he hissed, his face turning into a demonic mask of anger, a shiver crawled up my spine.
"I said…I can't, I won't," I mustered all my courage to speak louder and in a firmer tone, looking at him in the face. He glared at me, his hands had begun to quiver in fury, his jaw was clenched and a vein was pulsing visibly on his neck.
"IF YOU DON'T FUCKING KILL THEM RIGHT NOW, YOU'LL REGRET IT! DO IT!" he hollered, he snatched my hand and put the gun into it. It was terribly heavy, cold and alien to the touch.
"Please, I can't, really," I decided to change my approach and beg. He breathed out through his nose, like a bull prepared to charge.
"I have no fucking use for them anymore; their families wouldn't give me money. I said I would kill them if they didn't, I do what I promise," he spoke on a calmer tone, though his eyes still burned.
"Vaas, please…" I mumbled; terrified at what he wanted me to do. He threw me a cunning look, I could almost hear tiny cogs whirring inside of his brain.
"If you don't…I will kill them one by one in front of you…and then I will put a bullet between your eyes," he said very slowly. He was telling the truth, he did what he promised, didn't he? At that point my body hurt from the tension and the fear. Desperate, I looked at the nearest man beside me; he lowered his gaze while he shook violently, he looked ready to faint.
I gave a tentative step towards him, not believing what was happening. I raised the weapon with both hands slightly, my body quivered like a leaf. I put my finger against the trigger, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, a tight knot formed in my throat.
"Come on, hermana. It's fucking easy, you just pull the trigger and he snuffs it," he whispered behind me. I inhaled deeply, trying to steady my uncontrolled pulse. "Come here, I'll show you," he gripped both my arms by the wrists gently and raised them until the cannon was pressed against the man's forehead. The man began to sob audibly, tears streaming down his face.
"Put the gun there, you won't even have to aim. Then you press the trigger and BUM," he said in a low voice next to my ear, both the man and I flinched at the sound. "Bye bye, mister hostage."
"Please, please. I beg you, don't do it, please. I want to live, please. PLEASE! PLEASE!" screamed the man, looking at me in the eye, his cheeks stained with mud and tears and drool coming out of his mouth. He howled in pain and fear, the pirates below cackled and laughed like cruel vultures. Vaas let go of me, walked to him and bended to put his face in front of the man.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! DIE WITH SOME FUCKING DIGNITY, YOU FUCKING COWARD!" he bellowed, next to the man's ear, his face turning nearly as red as his tank. He stood upright again and breathed deeply again. The man kept crying in silence.
"Do it," he urged me. Knowing that my life hung by a very fine thread, I looked at the man and steeled myself, my body kept shaking uncontrollably.
"Oh, fuck. I'm sorry, please, I'm so sorry, but I have no choice," I blinked to stop the tears of rage from flowing, my mouth felt full of earth and dust. Finally, after what felt like an enormous effort, I pulled the trigger.
BUM
It echoed on my ears for a few seconds; I watched the man fall against the crude wooden planks as if in slow motion. A wisp of smoke issued from the gaping hole on his forehead and from the gun. Then, crimson, thick blood began to gush from his body, forming into a dark puddle that seeped between the cracks of the platform. The man's corpse looked at me with empty glassy eyes, lifeless, dead.
I was shaking from head to feet at that moment; I could hear the crowd cheering on the ground. My heart was beating on my eardrums, my breath was laboured as if I had run for miles. A push on my lower back snapped me out of the trance, I turned around, it was Vaas.
"You still have four, come on," he said with a cruel smile on his mouth, showing his teeth like some infernal being.
I walked to the next one, he was blubbering incoherently while he stared at the floor. I swallowed again and raised my arm, he began to say what seemed like a prayer. "I'm sorry, but I don't think there's any God to save you, especially not here," thought the vicious and harsh voice inside me. I closed my eyes tightly before I pulled the trigger.
The man fell with a dull thud, I gave a step back to prevent the blood from staining my trainers. I had barely aimed this time, and the bullet had made a hole over his left eyebrow. I turned my gaze away from the grisly sight and aimed at the next, my fingers felt about to freeze.
Another bang deafened the other sounds from the camp, the man crumpled in front of my eyes, moaning pitifully before slumping to the ground. I walked mechanically to the other man, unable to think, my mind blank and empty.
His head was bowed, resigned to his fate. I pushed the muzzle against the top and shot. I dodged before he collided against me. Still trembling slightly, I turned to the last man; he looked at me in the eye, a lamb ready to be slaughtered.
Our gazes locked for a few seconds, he pleaded to me with his eyes not to do it; but he knew it was useless, just as well as me. I muttered some kind of apology under my breath before I pressed the small metal piece. The life in his eyes vanished, as if it was a candle being put out; he closed them and slumped to the ground sideways. I stood there paralyzed, my arm still slightly raised.
"See? It wasn't so hard, was it?" I heard the pirate murmur next to my ear; he wiped some blood off my cheek with his thumb, almost tenderly. I stared fixedly at the broken man at my feet.
"No, it wasn't," I lied in a hollow voice.
"You did it well for a first time, I'm happy, chica," he said, I just kept looking at the ground. My fingers tightened around the gun, a quite familiar feeling filled my insides, an odd red haze. I wished it was him who was kneeling in front of me, tied and defenceless, fearing what was to come. I yearned to free the world from him, to see him suffer such fear and hopelessness, relishing how the life in his eyes disappeared. I wanted to remind him he was a mere human, not a god to dispose of our lives as he pleased.
"Can I leave?" I said in a whisper.
"Yeah, you can," he took the gun from my hand and put it on his holster. I left the platform in silent, not even seeing the pirate's faces; they stared at me with a strange expression on their faces which I could not interpret in that moment. I left the wide area and lost myself in the maze.
When nobody could see me, I started to run like the wind, I needed to run away from Vaas, from the pirates, even from myself. I ran until my lungs felt about to burst, until every movement turned painful. I reached the top of the hill totally out of breath. I dragged my feet to the back of the shanty.
My body bended on half and my I was wracked by an attack of retching. I vomited the contents of my stomach on the earthy soil. I grabbed my knees, my head kept spinning while I tried not to fall to the ground. I kicked some dirt over it to hide my mess from that sick creature. The last thing I wanted was the pirate knowing how much it had affected me. I leaned on the wall with one hand, trying to steady myself.
I looked at myself on the mirror; there was a reddish smudge on my face where the pirate had cleaned me. I had more tiny droplets around; I noticed there was blood on my tank too, a few splatters on the red fabric. My eyes stared at myself blankly, expressionless; I left that place and almost sunk on my face on the mattress, kneeling on the ground.
A white fog had introduced itself in my head, occupying every nook and corner, drowning any thought or feeling. It was nothingness as I had never felt it, a void that filled my brain. My surroundings had disappeared, I was not leaning against the mattress and my knees weren't on the floor.
"Falling asleep again, guapa?" said a voice near my head, I felt a loose strand of hair being tucked behind my ear. I opened my half-closed eyes and looked at the monster in front of me. He was crouched so that our faces were level with each other and was eyeing me with curiosity.
I had to exert all my self-control not to recoil from him at that moment. I kept my face devoid of expression, hiding the fear and disgust I felt back then.
"Get the fuck up, it's getting late and I want food, don't stay there like an idiot," he stood up and then walked to the outside of the shack. I groaned inwardly and got to my feet, then walked out of the place. The day was sunny and beautiful, perfect; it wasn't as hot as the other days. The canteen was already full of men looking for food or already devouring it; many of them glanced at me in a strange manner, some others smirked and pointed. I bit my tongue to stop myself from snarling at them.
I followed the line as patiently as I could. My turn came and the cooker and I faced each other. He showed me his crooked teeth in a cruel smile.
"What then, whore? Did you cry like a fucking baby when Vaas made you pull the trigger? Little girl is frightened?" he asked scathingly.
"Maybe if I was still holding that gun you wouldn't smile so much, big son of a bitch," I thought. I knew better than to say it out loud, you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you. I contented myself with throwing him a glance full of spite and scorn. I got the plates and climbed up the slope.
The pirate sat on his usual place, he still looked happy from before. I put the dish on his lap and sat on the lower step. I sunk the fork into the dish of chicken curry and rice and stirred the food with it. It smelled good, but I didn't feel hungry, not at all. I kept moving my fork around listlessly while the pirate ate behind me.
"Why aren't you eating?" asked the pirate, his mouth sounded full.
"Not hungry," I replied brusquely. He grunted peevishly and came to my step, sitting next to me.
"Eat," he commanded.
"What does it matter if I eat or not?" I spat, looking at the dish of rice.
"Fucking. Eat," he repeated in a louder tone, grasping my head and turning it towards him.
"What? Now you care for my wellbeing, huh? I told you I'm not hungry!" I growled angrily. I did not mean that, I did not want to say it; however, my mouth and vocal chords had acted by their own volition. He clenched his jaw and opened his eyes in rage. He got up from the steps and threw my dish to the ground, spilling its contents everywhere.
"OK, fuck you, then! I was trying to be fucking nice and you start acting like an ungrateful brat! Ok then, shove that food up your fucking ass if you want!" he yelled, he stormed off from the place, leaving me frozen on the spot.
I looked at his retreating back incredulously; that had been near, too near. Why had I told him that? I knew perfectly well how he could react when someone angered him for any reason, and that remark was bound to offend him. I gathered the food on the plate with the fork and carried it to the canteen. The pirate had gone away with his own plate.
I gnawed at my lower lip. Fearful of what he would do when he came. There could happen two things: he could come back calmer or even angrier. Maybe I should try to tell him I was sorry, try to apologize somehow. "Why the hell would you apologize? He's a monster! A man who almost whored you to his whole camp, threatens to hurt you or kill you if you don't obey, who has forced you to kill innocent people! Apologize, indeed!" cried wrathfully the horrible voice inside me.
I went back to the shack and slumped on the steps, so much uncertainty wracked my nerves. Part of me wanted to keep him away, but the other wished to get it over. I picked a tiny, sharp stone and started carving lines into the planks; I kept denting the material again and again. I found some kind of strange pleasure on such a monotonous task. The on-going sound of the pebble scraping against the wood was oddly soothing.
My head was leaning against the frame of the door, while my other hand kept scratching chips off the planks. The other sounds of the jungle disappeared, I could only hear that sound which would have annoyed me profoundly at any other moment.
Big, fluffy clouds were crossing the forget-me-not blue sky, the jungle shone brilliantly green. The wind toyed with the branches of the trees, ruffling and shaking them. Every surface was touched by sunbeams, then covered for a moment by a passing cloud. All that barely registered in my brain, I was just too intent on trying to push that more and more dulled piece of rock through a half-rotten piece of wood.
However, suddenly, I made a strange movement with the pebble and it sunk into my finger, cutting into flesh and nail in the process.
"Fuck," I swore loudly, blood began oozing from my finger. "Shit," I hurried into the shack and rummaged through my bag looking for plaster. My nail was rather broken on the top, I would have to cut it somehow to prevent it from breaking apart.
I found a pair of tiny scissors to cut nails. I could practically cover them with my hand, the tip was very sharp and thin. I proceeded to cut it carefully and threw the broken piece of nail through the window. Then, after cleaning the bleeding wound with a napkin, I wrapped a band around it.
I looked at the scissors; they were really sharp, I hadn't remembered I had them. It reminded me of that day when Vaas had threatened with cutting my face or gouging one of my eyes. What if he was like that when he came back? I had been lucky once, but two…chances were low that would happen again. Those scissors were the nearest thing I had to a weapon, they wouldn't kill him if he got violent, but maybe I could sink them into one of his eyes to distract him.
I couldn't keep them on me, what if he found them? He would see through it immediately, he looked like the typical paranoid who thought everyone wanted to kill him. I scanned with my eyes for some place where it could be at hand but not at plain sight. The room had few places where Vaas wouldn't find it easily.
Then it struck me that I could conceal it between the mattress and the wall, where I used to place my bra the first days. It would only be useful if I was near enough to the bed and could reach the crack, but it would have to do for the moment. I pushed it there, making sure I could reach it easily if needed.
I kicked out my shoes and flung myself on the bed, fingers locked beneath my head. I looked at the ceiling, my eyes fixed on the metal sheets that covered it. The bulb that hung from the beam swayed with the soft breeze.
The pirate entered after a few minutes, I looked at him from the corner of my eye, trying to interpret his expression. I realized then that he had several bloodstains, on his tank, arms and trousers. And it wasn't his; a chill shook my spine. I tried to keep my face expressionless in case he looked at me; however, he ignored me altogether. He walked to the wardrobe and took off his dirty tank, then carelessly flung it behind him. He picked another and put it on, then began to do the same with his trousers.
"Get me a beer from the fridge, my throat is a fucking desert," he growled. I got up in silence and opened the fridge to pick a bottle, then left it over the crate. I crawled to my corner and watched him getting dressed from the corner of my eye, I put my hand near the crack where the scissors were hidden.
He buckled his trousers into place and slumped on bed. He opened the beer with his teeth and spat the cap to the other side of the room, then gave one long swig. A fly landed on my nose, I shooed it away and scratched it. He looked at my bandaged finger.
"What did you do now?" he spat, snatching my finger with a free hand and looking at.
"Cut my finger with a chip of stone," I muttered.
"Always getting in trouble, aren't you?" he let go of my finger and drank again.
"I suppose so," I said in a low voice, trying to keep things calm. Suddenly, he chuckled, nearly choking on the beer he was drinking.
"What's the matter?" I asked, concealing my growing irritation.
"Nothing, chica. Just remembered something funny," he said amid coughs. I grunted slightly and slumped again on bed. I looked through the window, "I might as well bore myself to death. Nothing to do on this place besides reading or sitting around like an idiot," I thought, blowing a few hairs out of my eyes.
I got up from the bed, stepping over the pirate and I picked the book; I only had around fifty more pages. I crawled on bed and started reading, trying to concentrate, while Vaas peeled off the sticker from the bottle with his nails.
A rain of greyish confetti rained over me at some point. I bit my lips while taking a tiny bit off sticker from my eyelashes and kept ignoring that irksome man. Nevertheless, he didn't plan on leaving me alone. He snatched the book off my hands and looked at it intently; I felt the anger flaring up inside me.
"All the fucking day reading, don't you get bored?" he said, rifling through the book.
"I like reading, and it's the most interesting thing to do around here," I replied testily, he snorted in laughter.
"I could give you something to do, remember yesterday?" he teased, looking at me with a dirty smile on his mouth. Heat rose to my ears.
"I'd rather keep reading, if you don't mind, could you give it back to me?" I answered in a rather cold way.
"Of course," he said with a crooked smile, and then threw the book to the other side of the room. I restrained myself from screaming in rage, and instead got up and picked up the book. I would have gladly slapped him a pair of times, but he wouldn't have liked it very much. He laughed, I hid my face behind a curtain of hair and sat again on the mattress. He got up from the bed at last, walked to the door and threw away the empty bottle of beer.
Then he left without saying a word, I huffed loudly after a few seconds. At least he wasn't angry, but he was like a flea of which I couldn't get rid of, a constant nuisance. At last, I was able to focus on the book, but it was impossible, the words seemed to leak away from my brain, so I ended staring at the ceiling, watching my time going by.
Time was relentless and unforgiving, the shadows of the night were beginning to fall and I just lay there, concentrated on the changing light. The pirate would come any time soon to command me to fetch food; he could get it himself if he wanted, I just didn't feel hungry. Night had finally fallen when he came back, he snapped his fingers to make me pay attention to him.
"Come on, I'm hungry," I put on my trainers and marched in silence towards the canteen. There were a few stragglers milling around, but most of the pirates had already finished. I walked to the enormous pot, the cooker looked at me as if I was a cockroach he had found in a sack.
"About to close, slut. Go beg for food if you want, ain't giving you nothing," he spat. Some kind of feral smile crept to my face.
"Well then, tell that same thing to Vaas, he won't be too pleased," I put forward the two dishes insistently. He growled something unintelligible and put soup on the plates.
I walked back to the shack and gave the pirate his food. I sat on the usual step, I hid my surprise when Vaas descended to sit by my side. He watched me pushing a spoonful of soup into my mouth.
"Decided to fucking eat?"
"Yeah, I suppose," I said after swallowing the lukewarm liquid.
We ate the rest in silence. Why had he decided to sit there now? To make sure I ate? To annoy me? Because he wanted? He put his dish on my lap after I finished and I took them down, the place was deserted, I couldn't hear the usual sounds from the camp, it felt calm.
The pirate was taking his clothes off when I came back. It was strange, he didn't usually go to bed so soon. I began to imitate him and slid of my clothes, not even aware of my nakedness. I curled into bed a minute afterwards. Finally, he put the handcuff in its place and lay down next to me.
I was on the platform again, and the last man was there, looking with his pale greyish eyes into mine. Beads of sweat covered his forehead, his lips were chapped and broken, asking for water. His brownish hair fell lank and dirty over his head, which was raised towards me. I pressed the cannon of the gun against his flesh, feeling the blood boiling inside of my veins. Finally, I pulled the trigger.
The grey eyes turned green before their light flickered for a moment and disappeared. The hair grew a lot longer and the facial features turned softer and feminine, but the pain in them was the same. I saw my corpse laying in front of me, while blood trickled to the wood.
I saw the other hostages, each one of them turned into me when I shot them. I stood there impassibly, pulling the trigger time after time.
"Joder, haz que pare!" I screamed, sitting bolt upright. "Déjame en paz de una vez!" I cried. I tried to run away, but I was tied, there was no escape. I pulled at the thing that restrained me, but to no avail.
"Suéltame, suéltame! SUÉLTAME!" I yelled hoarsely. My chest hurt with a strange pressure around my ribs, as if I wore something tight that wouldn't let me breath.
"Qué pasa? Qué haces? Tranquilízate, vale? No pasa nada, joder hermana, relájate," said another voice in Spanish to my side. I tried to push away whoever it was, but they grabbed my wrists with one hand, something hard got over my shoulders and forcibly pushed me against something hot. I trembled uncontrollably, while feebly trying to push away the other person.
"Venga, ya está. Respira hondo, chica. Cálmate, que me has dado un susto de muerte, coño," I tried to take a deep breath, ceasing to struggle. My heart kept pounding in my ears, and the pain in my chest oppressed me.
"Muy bien, ves? Mucho mejor, no?"[1] that language began to feel like home. It soothed me, reminded me of people I barely remembered those days. The other person released my wrists and my arms fell limply; a hand petted my hair, while the other held me against them.
My breath steadied itself, I took a few shuddering gasps and filled my lungs to capacity. Then I exhaled all the air and slumped against the body next to me, one of my arms curled instinctively around them.
"Are you ok? Shit, I thought you were having a fit or something!" said the voice reproachfully, switching into English. And the illusion was broken; I realised who was embracing me, cradling me almost as if was a child. My head was resting against the crook of the pirate's neck, I could perceive gunpowder, blood, cigars and beer on him. My arm was around his torso, pushing myself against him. One arm held me against him while the other stroked my head.
Being there, knowing that HE was the one holding me, frightened and disturbed me deeply. I froze there for a few seconds, then took my arm from around his waist and began pushing him away. He released me and I sat on my side of the bed. We looked at each other in the semidarkness.
"What the fuck happened then?"
"I don't know, had a nightmare or something," I muttered sheepishly, feeling embarrassed from my reaction.
He got up with a grunt and walked to the fridge, he took a swig from a bottle and then picked something from the top. He tipped a tablet into his hand and gave it to me.
"Why would I need that? My head doesn't hurt," I said in confusion, he scoffed impatiently.
"You are too fucking nervous, it will help you sleep, take it," he commanded.
I obeyed grudgingly and put the medicine into my mouth, then forced myself to swallow. He lay down and pushed me against the mattress. I curled into a nearly foetal position and then felt him slipping an arm around me, pulling his body against mine.
My body tensed for a moment at the sensation, he was the same man who had forced me to kill those innocent men that same morning. I would have wanted to tell him to leave me alone, to stop bothering me, touching me as if he could do anything he wanted. But I was just too tired.
[1] Spanish into English:
"Fuck, make it stop! Leave me alone, please!
"Get off me, get off me! GET OFF ME!
"What's the matter? What are you doing? Calm down, ok? Everything's fine. Fuck, Hermana, relax!
"Come on, chill. Take a deep breath, chica. Calm down, you have fucking scared me to death,"
"That's better, don't you think? Feel better?
