Everything Changes

Chapter Eleven

"Where's your ring?" Tara stopped chopping the vegetables to look up at Gemma who was standing beside her, a little to close in Tara's opinion. She shouldn't have been surprised that Gemma knew but she was and in fact she was a little pissed off about it. First Nicole now Gemma. "Come on who did you think was going to get the ring for him." Gemma smirked as Tara's eyes grew wider. "Don't worry he picked it himself. So why the delay, thought you'd be screaming it from the roof tops. You finally have your man."

Yes I do, and we're getting ourselves and our family as far away from here, from you, as possible. That's what was running through Tara's mind but she decided to keep that bit to herself.

"We're waiting for the right moment, I think he wanted to wait until he found Nicole." She shrugged going back to chopping the vegetables for the meal tonight.

"You do realise you helping me prepare for her welcome home meal right?" Tara rolled her eyes, an action Gemma didn't miss. "Why don't you do it tonight. Everyone will be here so it should be the perfect time."

"Yeah, maybe." Gemma eyes narrowed at her. As far as she knew Tara still hadn't divulged to Jax about the letters. Unser was on the case trying to retrieve the letters from her office, but that wasn't enough for Gemma, even if Unser got the letters Tara still had knowledge of them, knowledge of what was written within them-which was more than what Gemma had. And although it was killing her to know what poison that Irish gnash had spat, the importance of this little chat was to remind Tara of what was at stake if the contents of those letters ever got out.

"You two remind me of myself and JT." Gemma watched carefully out of the corner of her eye as Tara momentarily stilled, before quickly regaining her composure. Gemma continued. "We were so in love, I was 19 and his was my whole world."

Tara fully turned her head to get a look at Gemma, and was shocked. For the first since she had known the woman she had never seen her like this, never seen her so exposed, vulnerable. Tara wondered what was the cause for this sudden change in persona and then she watched Gemma pull something from her back pocket, and as her eyes read over the note Tara knew that Gemma knew.

"But it didn't last. On his part anyway. But I guess you know all about that." Gemma placed the note onto the chopping board in front of Tara.

"Where did you get that?" Tara recognised the note immediately. It was the note written by this Maureen Ashby that had been attached to the pile of letters she'd found.

"Fell out of one of Abel's colouring books. Take it you've read these letters she refers to."

"I don't..."

"Don't..." Tara swallowed the lump in her throat, she'd been caught. "Don't try and lie to me sweetheart." Tara shuddered at the warning. "You spoken to Jax about Belfast?" Tara shook her head. She had asked what had happened but Jax refused to talk about it saying Abel was back and that was all that mattered. They had been in such a bad place when he had left that she didn't want to push him, especially since their relationship was back on track. So Tara had left it at that, and was happy to, well until she found those letters that was.

"This Maureen Ashby, she's JT's other Old Lady. I didn't know about her. When Thomas died he was lost, we both were..." Gemma paused briefly taking a breath before continuing. IT was a painful time for her. "He kept taking runs to Belfast leaving me here to deal with all this on my own. I guess on some level I always knew that there was someone else in his life but not another Old lady, and defiantly not another kid."

"JT had a child with her?" Gemma nodded.

"First time I even knew about her was when we went to Belfast to get Abel back."

"Gemma I'm sorry I didn't know." Gemma shrugged.

"No one did, does. I'd like to keep it that way."

"Of course."

"It was Clay who was here for me, for Jackson and Nicole when JT was off in Belfast with that gnash. Clay took care of all of us. JT had ripped me apart, left a whole in my heart a hole that Clay started to fill. It wasn't out of malice, we didn't mean it to happen but..."

"You started to fall in love." Tara spoke voicing Gemma's unspoken words.

"Yes." Gemma placed her hand on her hip and leaned closer in to Tara. "And these letters, they could stir up old ghosts. Everyone is in a good place Tara, we're whole again. Those letters could change that. Now I'm not sure what's in them but I do know that whatever is in those letters would be very painful for Jackson to read, or anyone for that matter. History is history for a reason Sweetheart."

Gemma hoped Tara understood her warning and hoped that she understood the consequences that could unravel if she decided to show those letters to anyone, especially Jax or Nicole. Gemma couldn't even bare to think about what would happen if they read them. Jax and Clay were finally back on track and this could set off all that again.

When Tara finally broke eye contact with her and returned her focus onto chopping the vegetables Gemma took the hint and returned to her own job knowing that this conversation was over, for the time being.


Gemma was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches to the desert- a deliciously naughty double chocolate cake topped with melted chocolate and fresh strawberries, Nicole's favourite-when she glanced at the clock. She expected Nicole to be here by now. She didn't expect her to muck in that was what Tara, Lyla and a couple of long standing sweetbutts were for, but she at least expected her to be there.

Most of the guys were there, some of them were even on there third beer and still no sign of her. Just as she was about to pitch a fit and grab Jax to go and find his wayword cousin she heard the sound of another motorbike approaching. Glancing out of the kitchen window she noticed that the bike she had heard had a passenger.

Gemma continued watching the two. Kozik parked his bike in formation with the others and then turned his attention towards Nicole as he helped her off his bike.

Gemma hadn't forgotten about the little bit of advice/threat she had made towards Kozik the day Nicole had disappeared. Make her your Old Lady andwatching the two of them interact Gemma wondered if he had actually taken on board what she had told him.

Nicole had no significant others, not to her knowledge anyway. Which meant she was free and single and if she was going to be staying around Gemma knew it wouldn't be long before she slotted right back into the place she had when she had left, except this time she hoped that her leading man wouldn't be a certain tattooed enforcer.


"Do I look hammered?"

"Nah sweetheart you look hot as always." Nicole playfully slapped his arm as she turned away from him, her cheeks flushed from embarrassment.

They had spent most of the afternoon drinking, well more Nicole than him although she was pretty sure that he wouldn't be passing any breathalyser test right now. As well as drinking they had spent the afternoon talking, and Nicole had to admit she felt lighter. Although she hadn't gone into specifics she found it good talking to someone who had been there, someone who actually understood how it felt, understood the urges and how every day was a battle especially in the first the year of sobriety. She felt good.

"We better get inside before Gemma kills us, we're so late." She told him finally looking back at him.

"Yeah and we wouldn't want to upset the queen."

"You do realise that is like the forth time today you've rolled your eyes when we've talked about Gemma today." She had ignored it the first time but when he scowled the second and third time when she mentioned Gemma she quickly realised that everything was not what it seemed and she was intrigued, maybe it was the drink but she really wanted to know. "So..you hate Gemma or something?"

"Nah it's nothing like that." Kozik had made a promise to himself not to tell her about what Gemma had said to him. She didn't need to know, and he wasn't going to budge on that.

"What then it's obviously something..." Nicole reached out and cupped his face in her hands, squeezing his cheeks. "Pllllleeeeeaaassseeee."

Kozik couldn't help but laugh, her pout was adorable. But still he'd made a promise with himself. Wrapping his hands around her wrists he carefully pulled her hands from his face.

"No. Now come on you need to eat." He kept hold of her one hand and started leading her towards the house.

"Why I'm fine..."

"Your drunk." Nicole came to an abrupt stop and tugged on his arm forcing him back to face her.

"You said I wasn't hammered." She pouted again, and again he couldn't help but smile at her. Taking a step closer to her, his free hand found way to her face.

"Sweetheart I said you didn't look hammered not that you weren't."

"And who's fault is that hmmm?" She asked both hand on her hips after freeing herself from his gentle hold. Shaking his head he laughed out loud. She was to funny.

"Come on." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her toward the house.


"So getting my baby cousin dunk huh?" Kozik looked over his shoulder to find Jax standing in the kitchen doorway his arms folded across his chest and a frown on his face. He looked pissed. Kozik looked back at the fridge pulling out the beer he had been in the middle of getting. Uncapping the top he took a big swig of his beer to prepare himself for the ass kicking he knew he was about to get.

"Look man I just..." He was surprised when Jax's face broke into a smile. His head shaking as he walked closer.

"I'm just messing with you bro." Kozik breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't going to get his ass kicked. "It's good to see her happy, hear her laugh it's been to long." He remarked leaning against the kitchen counter as Kozik went into the fridge to get another beer which he handed to Jax.

Kozik had to agree. Maybe it was all the Tequila but Nicole had been on top form tonight, she was the Nicole Teller they all knew and loved. It was a good sight to see.

"Yeah, she seems okay doesn't she?"

"Yeah." Jax glanced back towards the dining area as Nicole's laugh echoed throughout the room again quickly followed by others.

Kozik hated that he was about to ruin this little moment, pull Jax back into the brutal reality of the MC life but after his conversation with Nicole earlier he had no other choice. The shit Darby had spouted was now to close to home for comfort.

"You going to tell her about Daby?" Jax immediately returned his eyes to Kozik.

"She doesn't need to know any of that shit."

"What happens if he finds out she's back. You really think he won't come at her with that shit?" Jax shook his head before taking a quick pull from his beer before slamming it onto the counter making it spill. Although he didn't care, instead leaving the beer on the counter as he approached Kozik.

"He's goes near her I'll kill him." Kozik raised his hands showing he meant no threat. He was just concerned that the bullshit Darby had been saying was true and if it was Nicole was in danger if Darby found out she was here, Kozik just wanted to potect her.

"No harm meant bother. I just was thinking bout it."

"Yeah well don't and keep your mouth shut I don't want her to know."

"I wasn't planning on saying anything."

"Good." Jax backed off and went back to his beer.

"Hey promise me one thing tho." Jax looked at him surprised that Kozik had the cheek to ask him for something, but he nodded telling him to continue. "If you kill that son of a bitch. Make sure I'm there."

"Al'right."

"Hey." Speak of the devil. Nicole breezed into the kitchen placing the stack on dirty plates in the sink. "So you two having your own little party here, am I interrupting?" She teased looking between Jax and Kozik. Only to realise that she might have actually interrupted something. "What?"

"Nothing sweetheart." She looked at them both disbelievingly.

"So what we talking about then?" She quizzed taking Jax's beer out of his hand and stealing a quick drink before handing it back. She rolled her eyes when the remained silent. If they weren't going to tell her then she wasn't going to beg. "Well if your both finished talking about nothing then would you like to take your seats, cause I'm gonna serve up desert."

"Yes Mam." Jax and Kozik made their way out of the kitchen like they had been instructed to. But Kozik hung back for a minute.

"What we havin'?" Kozik asked generally curious, he'd always had a sweet tooth.

"Double chocolate cake with strawberries, and cream. My favourite." She gave him a wink and went back to getting the desert.


Tig tilted his chair back on two legs and he rubbed him stomach and burped.

"Jesus Tigger. Do you have any manners." Gemma scolded.

"Yeah I always try and let the lady cum first." He remarked with a wiggle of his brow.

"Hey there's kid here idiot." Opie growled from the other end of the table. His eyes glancing to Ellie, Piper and Kenny who were on the floor playing with Abel. Tig just shrugged completely ignorant to what he had said.

"You okay babe?" Tara tuned to look at Jax. She reached her hand up and traced her fingers across his lips and up his jaw line. She would never grow tired of looking into those eyes. She loved him more than she even thought possible and she could never imagine her life without him. Which is why she hadn't shown him those letters.

Her talk with Gemma had been interesting, Tara had no idea about that side of JT, she only knew him vaguely mainly what Jax had told her and recently from the letters she had read. She had never thought of it from Gemma's point of view how it must have hurt having your husband up and leave for weeks, months at a time. Leaving you to raise two kids, well three if you counted Nicole. She had experienced something similar these past 14 months but the difference her man hadn't chose to leave and she didn't have to try and look after a sick child.

Even considering all that, it didn't excuse Gemma or Clay's actions. JT spoke about how he feared that his days were numbered. He feared that his best fiend and his wife would be responsible for his demise. And it was those reasons that Tara had decided to keep the letters from Jax. She wanted out of this life, she didn't want her children brought up around such violence. And when Jax had opened up to her and confessed to her that he to wanted out she could barely contain her excitement. It was actually going to happen they were going to free of this town, free of the Club and Tara couldn't wait.

"I think we should tell them." She spoke so only Jax could hear her.

"Now." Tara eyes scanned the table before returning to his.

"Everyones here."

"Okay." He pulled her hand up to his face and kissed her knuckles, a smile stretching across his face. Tara removed her engagement ring from her back pocket and placed it on her wedding finger.

"Hey..." Jax stood to his feet, all eyes now on him. As he looked around the the table he knew that all his brothers knew what he was about to announce. "I have an ann..." His speech was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Hold that thought." Gemma got to her feet, and headed for the door, making sure she lightly squeezed Tara's shoulder as she passed her.

Nicole-along with the others-knew exactly what Jax was about to say and she couldn't have been happier for the two of them. If anyone deserved to be happy it was Jax. Looking around the rest of her family they to looked like they couldn't be happier for their brother.

But before her eyes returned to Jax she caught Happy staring at her. He was sat next to a blonde sweetbutt-who Gemma had invited along with a couple of others- Nicole didn't mind to much-even if she did believe Gemma had invited them on purpose and seated them next to Happy on purpose-because the ones that were invited were long standing sweetbutts and they actually weren't that bad. For example Happy's arm was draped on the back of her chair but instead of being all over him like the sweetbutts would have been at the clubhouse she was now talking to Bobby and one of the other girls while they waitied for Gemma to return. Not that Nicole thought it would have made much difference if she had been trying to get closer to Happy because he hadn't being paying her any attention all night, instead Nicole had caught him more than once staring at her. Not that she could talk she had found it very hard to keep her eyes off him just like now.

She hadn't spoken to him since the other morning. The morning where his body had practically been touching hers, the morning where Nicole would have taken him right there and then, if they hadn't been interrupted.

She had forgotten how much he managed to get underneath her skin. And as she continued to stare at him, her mind clouded we thoughts of exactly how those lips felt on hers as well as the memory of how good it felt having the weight of his body on top of hers. She could feel her cheeks burn and judging by the small cocky grin on his face he knew exactly what she was thinking.

Nicole knew she shouldn't be looking at him like that. But as his stare got harder, darker she also knew that she wasn't going to be able to stop it.

"Who are you?" Clay's questioned. Nicole pulled her hair over her one shoulder and finally pulled her eyes from his as Clay's voice brought her from her inappropriate thoughts. Picking up her beer and taking a much needed swig she turned to take a look at who Clay was referring to, and when she saw him standing there Nicole almost chocked.

"Liam." Nicole croaked he hand wiping the spilled beer from her chin.

"You know this guy?" Nicole looked at Jax. Fuck. She knew he was going to freak.

"She should apparently he's her fiancé." Gemma announced and Nicole felt every set of eyes land on her. Oh shit.