Chapter 10: Dead Man Walking

"A flower is weak and frail. If you try to cover it from the wind and the rain, it will die longing for the sun."
- Haibara Ai ~The Life of a Flower~

Powering up the old computer, Shiho let out a tired sigh. It was early morning once again and once again she intended to look into Gin's true identity. She only had a hundred twenty-six people left to check. How long could it take...?

Her mind had no trouble doing the math as she breathed another sigh. She had some work to do.

No time like the present...

Slowly, as to not miss anyone, she began sifting through the files, reading over the information on the patients. There sure was a variety. Politicians, doctors, lawyers, CEO's, even a celebrity or two... the choices seemed endless.

But no matter how hard Shiho tried, she couldn't keep her thoughts strait. Her mind kept wandering to what Kudou had planned.

A plan that would be put into action very soon.

What she feared was what Ran's reaction would be. Kudou and Hattori were men. They didn't understand the strength that love could give women. A strength that could at times be downright scary. And a strength that, if pushed the wrong way, could very easily turn dangerous. Even for the holder.

Everyone on this planet is standing on a high wire. When one of us falls off, it causes those around them to teeter. And every once in a while, someone else is jostled enough that they soon follow suit.


The next few days seemed to fly past the empty pit that was Shinichi as the day of Hattori's call neared, and Friday night was upon him in the blink of an eye. Every night he had the same dream again, a different version of the same. A million questions swarmed his mind, his own personal hornets' nest.

But he couldn't allow himself to ponder upon even a single one.

It was nearing. That day where someone still living would have to perish. The day Ran would learn that the one she cared for most was dead. His new and unimproved D-Day.

The simple thought, in that moment, threatened to shatter him. In that instance, a civil war was ragging within him. One side was all for calling Hattori as soon as possible to call the whole ordeal off. The other was doing everything it could to just keep him silent and let what was destined to happen do just that.

He'd made his decision.

He pulled out his cell phone and called Hattori.

The final piece was about to be put on the board.

"Yeah?" Hattori answered after only two rings.

"I trust you know who this is?"

"Oh, hey Kudou. Why are ya callin'? I'm not supposed to tell Nee-chan fer another two days, right?"

"Change of plans. Do you have the bowtie?"

"Yeah, it got here this mornin'. What da ya mean by 'change a' plans'?"

"I want you to do it tomorrow. If I leave this any longer I'll end up backing out."

"Whoa! Hold it! Tomorrow? But isn't that-!"

"I know what it is! Just do it, okay? Please...!"

"...Fine... But I hope you know what this could do to her." Hattori agreed, seeming to be able to sense the desperation in Shinichi's voice.

After going over the plans again, the two of them hung up.

Shinichi leaned against the wall of the messy room he was in, removing his useless glasses. Tomorrow. How could he have forgotten? That day which was so important...? But it was too late. Everything was about to be set in motion. There was no time to discuss new tactics, the battle was about to commence.


What is it that he's talking about...? Ran asked herself as she leaned against the door to Kogoro and Conan's shared room.

Dinner was ready, so, not wanting to wake up a drunken Kogoro sleeping on the couch, she'd gone straight to where Conan was instead of calling him like she usually did. She'd been about to knock on the door to tell him when she'd heard him talking to someone.

It was muffled, but by the sound of it he was on the phone. The conversation seemed strange though... Conan was speaking in a hushed, almost pleading, voice. A voice that was several octaves lower than it usually was. It seemed familiar though, like she'd heard it a long time ago...

Smiling secretively, she walked back towards the small kitchen. It really was about time that her father got up...


"You're up early, Conan-kun," Ran pointed out as Shinichi walked into the small living room. The rising sun was just beginning to filter through the windows, casting long shadows across the floor.

"I couldn't sleep last night," he explained, not lying. He'd had the worst version of the nightmare yet. Acting tired, he walked over to the couch where he laid down and cracked open the copy of The Sign of Four that Ran had bought him a few weeks earlier, not really reading it.

Shinichi listened as she, seeming to accept his explanation, walked into the kitchen to begin preparing breakfast for the two of them.

Just a little while longer...


7:46... Heiji read off the clock beside his bed. She's prob'bly awake by now. I'm fairly sure Kudou said once that she's an early riser...

He looked beside the clock, where there lay the bowtie and a list he'd made the night before of settings for possible voices he may need to mimic. Most likely, he would have to use at least one to trick her.

Tricking her. He felt dirty when he thought about it that way. Every time he'd seen her, the only times where she hadn't been bursting with positive energy was when they ran into a body. It felt wrong to be taking that ability away from her. To take away one of the things she cherished most in her life.

To take away her happiness.

Couldn't Kudou've figured out a better plan...? Heiji thought desperately. Like 'e could've... But his mind was drawing a blank. Sure, there were plenty of other plans which could've been put to action, but the goal was to make Ran as safe as possible. And this was the best way to do that.

Taking a deep breath, he pulled his phone off the dresser and punched in Ran's number.


Ran paused in her cooking as she heard her cell phone ringing from inside her pocket. Could it be Shinichi...? she pondered, pulling it out. It was about time he called, not to mention that that day marked the one year anniversary of his disappearance.

But, as she flipped it open, she saw that the caller ID was flashing "Unknown Caller". Puzzled, Ran pressed it to her ear. "Moshi moshi?" she answered, resuming in her cooking as she began cutting up some of the food with a French knife.

"Hey Nee-chan, how've you been doin'?" Hattori...? What was he doing calling her? How had he even gotten her number?

But these questions were left unsaid. Instead, she simply replied, "Okay. What about you?"

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds. "I'm...not really sure..." Now that was odd. Hattori was always happy, whether he was spending time with Kazuha or solving a murder.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, then second guessed herself. "I don't want to intrude or anything! You don't have to tell me if you don't want to..."

"No, the reason I called was so that I could tell you..."

Once again, there was silence from Hattori.

"Well? What did you want to tell me...?" she interjected.

"Y...yesterday... they found Kudou's body on the bank of the Kanzaki River... I'm really sorry but... he...he's dead..."

Ran's entire body stiffened and she barely noticed as the knife slipped through her fingers, cutting into her foot as in bounced off the linoleum. "This is a joke... right? You're joking! You have to be!" she said quietly, watching the blood dye her sock scarlet.

But it wasn't Hattori who answered. "I'm sorry, Ran-kun...but it's true..." Otaki confirmed.

"No..." Ran breathed, sinking to the floor as her legs gave out. "No!" she yelled, "You're lying! Shinichi can't be! He can't-!"

Otaki and Hattori were silent, as if to give her time to soak it in. After a few minutes of screaming, Ran finally calmed down enough to speak clearly. "H-how? How did he...he..." She couldn't say the word, but Hattori seemed to understand what she was trying to say.

"One shot to the heart. He most likely never even realized it happened..." he explained forlornly.

"Oh, thank God!" Ran burst. She'd hated the idea of Shinichi having to suffer. Tears stung at her eyes, but something stopped them from overflowing. She was in too much shock to cry.

But the shock wouldn't be able to hold them back for long.


Shinichi felt his heart break in his miniature chest as Ran began screaming. What have I done...? he tortured himself. Soon, when it looked like her call with Hattori was drawing to a close, he put his book down, getting up from the couch to softly tread towards her.

She was sitting on the cold floor, curled up tightly as she shook with her tears.

"Ran-neechan...? Are you alright...?" he asked softly, hating now more than ever the necessity of adding the "neechan".

Tiredly, she shook her head and, when she raised it to look at him, he was surprised by the absence of tears. He could see them swimming in her eyes, yet none stained her cheeks. "...No, Conan-kun... I...I don't think so..."

What should he do...? He'd never been good at consoling people, and now the situation was a thousand times worse than any other time he'd seen someone cry. Because this time, he was the cause of her sorrows. This time, he would give anything to be able to say those two little words that would make everything right. But, even if he did give everything, it was still impossible.

So he did the only other thing he could think of.


Ran barely held back a gasp as Conan suddenly wrapped his tiny arms around her. Staring at him, she saw that he was looking away, probably unsettled by seeing her crying.

He'd always been such a sweet child, always being there when she needed him, saying the things she needed to hear. Now he was silent. Just like she wanted. Any other person his age would probably be pestering her with questions about what was wrong.

As this thought flew through her mind, she wrapped her own arms around Conan, burying her face in his hair as she breathed in deeply. It was good to have someone there.

What's wrong...? she asked herself. Everything, her mind replied. With that short call, her whole world had come crumbling down. She had fallen off the mountain she'd been climbing, and now she was lying at the bottom of a chasm, broken and bleeding.

She was shattered and there was no way to make her perfect again. There would forever be a scar on her heart, threatening to reopen.

But for that to happen, she would first have to begin healing. Something that she knew wouldn't happen for a long, long time.

Why? That was the question wasn't it...? Sure, Shinichi had been a little smug at times, but he'd always meant well. He had always been there, a shoulder to cry on during her darkest hours. So where was he now?

Gone. And he would never be coming back. She would never again walk with him, not really going anywhere. Just spending time together. Just savoring every moment. That's the way she'd always felt when she'd been with him. The goodbyes had always come far too soon. And this time there would never be another hello.

This time, there hadn't even been chance for a goodbye.

How could someone have killed Shinichi? How could someone kill anyone? Shouldn't that person know just how hard the death would hit the victim's loved ones? Why couldn't that murderer have thought about what it might mean to others? To her?

Never. Never would she have imagined that something could've happened to Shinichi. Never anything of this magnitude.

And never had she gotten to tell him how she truly felt about him. Never had she gotten to know how he truly felt about her. Maybe it was better that way. With things left unsaid. Unchanged. However he'd felt about her would never be known, but it would never be different. He'd felt that way about her until the end.

What had his last thought been...? It was impossible to know, but she liked to imagine that he'd been thinking about her.

He was...dead. Finally the truth of it made its way into her conscious mind. And as it did, the first tears trickled down he cheeks, slowly at first, then more rapidly. As if she was crying all the tears that she'd been holding back for a year.


Shinichi closed his eyes as he felt Ran's tears hit him. What have I done? he questioned once again. Because of him, this sweet angel had fallen from its cloud, down to the hard, cold earth. And she had been crippled, never again being able to properly stretch her wings.

If he lived to be a million, he never would've wished to have her so miserable. But if he hadn't done this, she may have felt an even more unbearable pain.

What would've happened if he was killed by the Organization and she still knew he was alive at the time? If that happened, Conan would die too. How would she deal with the knowledge that two people she cared about so much had died at the same time? And that those two were actually one? That he'd been lying to her all along?

He would never know now. He hoped.

He stepped away from her as she loosened her arms, looking up to try to gauge from her expression just how much hurt she was in. As he did this, noticed that, as she stood, she seemed to be putting more of her weight on her left foot. When he looked down, he was surprised to see that her sock was stained red.

"You're bleeding, Ran-neechen!" he exclaimed, once again looking up worriedly at her.

"Oh...So I am..." she sniffed. "I must have dropped the knife I was using when Hattori-kun told me-" she broke off midsentence as Shinichi saw a fresh stream of tears flowing. Tears which had nothing to do with the gash in her foot.

"Sorry Conan-kun. I just need to be alone right now..." Slowly, he watched as she made her way down the hall to her room, closing the door tightly behind herself.

As he watched her leave, he wondered to himself whether she'd be able to make it out of this without him accidentally shattering her heart into more pieces than it was in currently.


God I love this chapter! Not much dialogue, but I hope I managed to capture the emotion properly. Please please please review on this chapter! I want to know if you guys like it as much as I do! Did you cry? Oh I hope someone cried! That sounds mean... but yeah! I REALLY hope you guys like this!

Also, I was looking over the quotes I've been using in each chapter and you know what I noticed? Haibara, Sato, Gin, Ran, Haibara, Haibara, Haibara, Vermouth, Haibara. Wtf is with all the Haibara quotes? I know I have ones from other characters, so why do I keep using her's?

As well, I reread my A/N's from the chapters and you know what I noticed? In the one for chapter 3 I list movies that I probably wouldn't watch more than once or twice. Since I posted that, I've rewatched Movie 11, The Box (twice...), and Star Trek (also twice...). Hmm... I'm being a little hypocritical here...

Second lastly, when I write/edit my writing I tend to listen to music. Why? Cause I like music! So anyhoosle, I was listening to some songs by my favorite artist, Amanda Falk (if you haven't heard of her, go look her up on YouTube) and I found one song that just put me in exactly the mood that I was going for in this chapter! It's called Charade, and it's not one of hers that I've listened to many times before, so I'm not sure if the lyrics fit for this, but the melody definitely does!

Finally, YAY! I GOT IT UP BEFORE I LEFT! That is all.

I do not claim to own any of the characters or settings from Meitantei Conan/Case Closed... blah blah blah... a bunch of legal stuff no one really cares about... All right reserved to Aoyama Gosho. You rule dude!