A/N: Mostly just humor. It burrowed into my head and I could not get it out – like one of those earwig creatures from the Star Trek movies only less disgusting. But it took control of my mind and made me write unspeakable things … well, not that bad really … as a matter of fact it's been requested a time or two … anyway it may me write this down as opposed to just leaving it in my head. Please don't take it too seriously.
Thanks to Flounder En' flucter on CaerAzkaban group for suggestions and editing on the entry for Mr. Black.
Title: Two Legends Meet
"The Lone Traveler: Young man who tried to change the past and save those he loved… plan failed and became the Lone Traveler, wandering through time and reality, making a difference wherever he went… very powerful… defeated a powerful Dark wizard styling himself a Lord… swept along the path he walked by a spectacular aura of blue light."
'Legends & Myths of the Wizarding World' by Gertrude Yolanda
FF St ID 2673584 – Chap 9 – The Professional Modified FF St ID – Chap 58 - Dunuelos
"Mr. Black: Immortal Dark Lord which changed his ways and works now for the betterment of mankind. Records go back as far as 7000 years and possibly 13,000.
"Although records are spotty, Mr. Black seems to have been present during nearly every civilization on record and is suspected in assisting some of them in coming to an end due his strict personal moral code. Mr. Black is reported to have allowed Atlantis to sink into the sea because the political environment allowed innocent children to be harmed. He is reported to be behind the slaughter of uncountable other Dark wizards in Ancient Egypt. Whether this was to prevent competition or because they offended him, this report does not speculate.
"Although he has since attempted to keep out of the limelight, verified reports place him in Ancient Greece, the Roman Empire, Imperial China, the Americas during the Aztec and Incan Empires, in Scandinavia during the times of the Viking, and others. Mr. Black is known quite well even in selected circles in the Muggle world.
"Due to the threat of Pureblood supremacy (see Appendix for Voldemort, Death Eaters, Those Idiots), Mr. Black came out of obscurity (see Black Summer) it seems to attempt to reverse the decay of the Magical world into stupidity. Mr. Black seems to accomplish his goals without his direct presence in many cases through means unknown. Verified reports of Mr. Black's travels coincide with reports of Dark elements meeting their fate for unexplainable reasons. Due to the lack of direct evidence, even the most corrupt government officials (if Mr. Black has not already killed them) have refused to prosecute him for this death and destruction. .
"Mr. Black, or at least the company he founded (Black Ink), can be found on Black Isle, located somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere. He has taken up the education of visitors in law enforcement techniques, dueling, and cooking. Mr. Black frequently travels and Dark elements fear his arrival, always unlooked for.
"Although he is reported as non-descript in his looks, he can be identified when he is traveling the world by his standard response upon being asked why he is there: 'I'm just a man on vacation'."
Excerpt from 'Legends & Myths of the Wizarding World vol VII by L. Lovegood' based on 'Legends & Myths of the Wizarding World' by Gertrude Yolanda
Reference: "The Black Report" compiled by Sydney Hamilton following research as to Mr. Black's re-emergence now known as the Black Summer.
Mr. Black stood before his most trusted employee, Henchgirl, and, once again tried to convince her it was for the best.
"If I don't do it, they just won't shut up. So what if they know the truth?"
Henchgirl was annoyed. Her boss was NOT this dense. "But if this becomes common knowledge, it will bring Law Enforcement down across the world. Think of how many crimes are prevented by you being … well, the you they think you are?"
Harry paused for a moment. "For a second there that confused even me." He shook his head. "Anyway – how bad could it be?"
"Bad. Vey bad."
Other employees of Black Ink were of two minds about what was going to happen. Hermione, particularly, was self-conflicted. While she had the utmost respect for the Mr. Black persona, she had always wanted the world to know Harry's true brilliance.
Mr. Black, however, was adamant. He had called the press and he would announce that: Yes, he was in fact Harry Potter, and there was no need to speculate as to the apparent disappearance of the former hero of the Wizarding World.
Harry looked around at the hallway he had arrived to. It seemed quite empty. It also seemed to be made of stone. He wondered where he was. Turning around, he was startled to find Percy Weasley and Penelope Clearwater (her holding a young boy) staring at him in shock. "Um. Hello, Percy. How are you?"
Penny finally stammered out, "You're Harry Potter."
Harry was embarrassed. "Yes. But probably a different one than you know. I'm also known as the Lone Traveler."
Percy immediately got it – he had read the book and was helping Luna proofread the latest edition. Percy, unlike some, was quite certain that it would be far, far better if the Mr. Black persona was kept clean and far away from being "Harry Potter." This was an answer to a prayer.
"Harry? Come with me. If anyone asks, you've been traveling since Mr. Black took care of Voldemort, learning new things. Mr. Black is the local universe you – but no one knows about it other than his employees, like me. He's about to make a mistake and out himself to get the press to shut up – in my opinion."
Harry considered that. Even he had heard about "Mr. Black." To find out it was an alternate him – yeah, better that was kept under wraps. He quickly followed the two. Percy spoke as they ran.
The three arrived, apparently, just in time. He could hear his alternate say, "Finally, I will answer the question you've all been asking: Where is Harry Potter. Well, he's …."
Percy called out as they came in. "Sorry, Mr. Black! I had to help a late arrival." He pointed over his shoulder.
The room was shocked to see the object of the press conference calmly walk in behind Mr. Black's employee pencil. He gave a small wave. "Hello, folks."
There was a shocked silence and then the reporters started hammering into him. He quietly walked until he was standing next to Mr. Black and cheerfully shook his hand. He noticed his alternate self seemed amused.
Harry nodded toward the crowd and Mr. Black nodded in return. He then cast a loud noisemaker to shut the room up. He pointed to himself in query and Mr. Black shrugged. He turned.
"Okay. My name is Harry Potter. Son of James and Lily Potter. Best friend of Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley for a number of years in Hogwarts. Godson to Sirius Black, may he be having a good old orgy in wherever he landed on the other side of the veil. That's my Uncle Moony." He pointed to Remus who was standing with the SWA – Three Witch Angels. "There's Luna, who's my friend too as well as she-who-must-not-be-named Tonks – she's family. I swear this if the first time I've been before you and that I am not some weird alien life from in disguise. Identification … hmmm… Oh! I know! Expecto Patronum!" He cast the spell out of his Holly wand and Prongs showed up, the same as he had since he was a teenager – if a bit larger. "Anyone who went to school with me fifth year could verify my Patronus, at least those in Dumbledore's army. Holly and Phoenix feather wand." He held up his wand. "Ask old Ollivander what my wand is made out of – I am certain he will be perfectly willing to confirm it. Mr. Black took my place as a favor and I was quite happy to be free to learn some things. So he off'ed the Dark Wanker instead of me? I was ecstatic. You won't see me much again – I am still traveling and learning and doing good where I can. That's all – I am going to catch up with old friends." Harry shook a few hands and then withdrew. All of the Black Ink employees except Mr. Black quickly left, and he finally convinced the reporters to leave.
He had some information to gather.
He found his alternate talking to his employees. He dropped his field and Harry got a good look at his alternate. The two were still quite similar, even if Mr. Black seemed to be changed a bit.
"Mr. Black. Hello. I am the Lone Traveler." Harry grinned even as he heard a gasp or two.
"Lone Traveler, I am Mr. Black," his other self grinned back.
Hermione was upset. "That means that you're adrift in different universes, after having lost everybody!"
Harry shook his head. "The truth is: Yes, I used to be that agnsty bastard. But I'm better now. I learned my home universe was beyond saving and so forces beyond took control of me after I stupidly tried to muck with time. I've become a multi-universal handyman."
"But you'll never get to be with your loved ones."
Harry smiled again. "Also not true. Although, yes, they're dead, it's just another dimension and that's what I do. I've visited. They're happy. I'm happy. And I can visit as needed. So – don't feel bad for me. I don't."
Mr. Black looked at their visitor speculatively. "Can I ask about your abilities?"
"Sure."
"Due to the number of alterations my body has gone through, I'm quite worried that I may end up with what Voldemort wanted and I never asked for: Effective immortality. If that's true, I'll also never see my loved ones. Would you be willing to take me to see them?"
Harry considered that. "I've never done it. Usually, my alternates end up with the resurrection stone and they talk to our loved ones that way."
"Resurrection stone?" Mr. Black asked curiously.
Luna was very quick to explain – her father had looked for years for them.
"I've never heard of these Hallows," Mr. Black said.
"They might not exist in this particular universe. Our cloak was one – it was passed down generation after generation where all other cloaks last only a few decades. Dumbledore had the Elder Wand which he won from Grindelwald. IN most universes, Voldemort's mother's family used the Resurrection stone as the family ring – but Voldemort cursed it with a piece of his diseased soul. In this universe, he apparently came back by other means if you killed him without destroying the pieces – it sometimes happens."
Harry paused and said, "I'll try but it might not work. And their reaction might not be what you expect."
"How so?"
"Umm. Do you have any kids?" Harry asked.
Mr. Black blushed but it was hidden by his costume. "Not yet."
"Yeah – your Mum may want to discuss that. You sure you want to try?"
Mr. Black nodded in certainty. "Yes."
"Okay. It's your ears." Harry shrugged and put his hand on Mr. Black's shoulder and the two disappeared in a blue light.
Henchgirl quickly left the room and, for Science's sake, decided to try to locate Mr. Black. She had much success in the past in locating him when he transported to other dimensions and she wanted to try to find him wherever he was going.
When none of her trinkets or tricks worked, she worked up a great pout.
Hermione was giddy. She couldn't wait to interrogate Mr. Black when he got back.
Remus and Nymphadora were both highly curious … and quite happy that their friend would actually meet his parents and Sirius again.
Pencil and Pusher, the Architect, the Tailor and Seamstress, and the others were only mildly interested. Mr. Black would do as Mr. Black did and it was not for them to overly concern themselves. They had to stay sane somehow and one method they used was to ignore Mr. Black's movements unless there was a reason to do otherwise.
Many had gone and returned after a couple hours, almost keeping vigil. And thus it was that they witnessed Mr. Black's return.
All were taken aback at his smile – it was almost incongruous on his face. This was not the smile of discovery or cheerfulness or many other emotions they had seen in him before. He was … content. Mostly.
The Traveler was amused.
"Hello, Folks. My parents and Sirius say, 'Hello! And thank you for helping my boy.'" Mr. Black's face took on a momentary nervousness – very unusual.
Hermione had to ask. "What else did they say?"
The Traveler smirked and could barely contain his chuckles. "Not much. Luna? You Mum loves you and is proud of you." His momentary look was even more obvious.
Luna smiled an almost angelic smile and said, "Thank you, Mr. Black." She moved and hugged him. She pulled back and asked, "What else did she say? There is something."
"I don't want to talk about it."
At this point, the Traveler had lost it and was chortling. Mr. Black gave him a disgusted look.
Hermione crossed her arms and gave her most resolved look. "What are you hiding, Harry? There's something."
Looking and seeing that they would not let go, finally he sighed. "While they had many nice things to say and messages for different people which I will pass along, they were very curious …." He stopped and sighed again. No one moved. "They kind of wondered when I'd get busy with having a few sprogs to carry on the Black Empire." It was obvious that he was very unhappy actually saying this.
Luna knew there was something else. "What else did my mother say?"
"Nothing to you. Nothing to worry about."
Luna just stared. Mr. Black sweated until he finally broke down. "She asked me … (mumble mumble mumble.)"
"What did she ask you?"
"You won't let this go?" Mr. Black asked hopefully.
Luna shook her head and crossed her arms, waiting.
Finally Mr. Black sighed again. "Fine. She asked," and very quietly he finished, "why I hadn't ravished you yet. She wants grandkids as much as my Mum does."
The room was shocked … except the Traveler who continued laughing. Luna just looked at Mr. Black with a happy smile and said, "We'll have to talk about that. Soon."
Mr. Black looked nervous.
The Traveler chuckled and stood. "Time for me to move on. Tell the world that Harry is traveling. And Ravish her soon – and maybe Hermione too. You need some sprogs after all."
Harry turned and disappeared. The sound of a phoenix wafted through, amused … and quite risqué.
Mr. Black muttered about payback, eventual payback.
