Chapter is a little slipshod as we tried to cram in a lot of things but still manage to keep it as short and to the point as possible. Here it is, though, and we hope you enjoy.

Date Uploaded: 31 May 2009

Mouthpiece – Episode 11

"So did you manage to get a hold of Azzie at all within the week?" Pyper asked.

"No," O-Gee said, shaking her head and causing the woman fixing her hair to give a noise of impatience. "All I heard was that she and Jericho were out together for about two days regarding his contract."

At that Pyper dropped her blended mocha frappucino in shock. "Azzie was with my Chrissie??"

"Pyper, I did say it was about his contract."

"That shameless hussy!" Pyper exclaimed, ignoring her. "Pretending all the while that she couldn't stand him while she was trying to drag him out from right under my nose! That's it, I'm hunting her down right after this show, and then that woman is dead to me! You hear that? DEAD!"

O-Gee had long ago learned that reasoning with Pyper when she got worked up was futile, so she remained in her seat and let hair and makeup finish. That's right, Mouthpiece had gone a further step up on the rung; aside from the full crew handling production, the sisters had also gotten stylists and hair and makeup artists to fix them up prior to shows. O-Gee was actually enjoying the pampering – she would ask Pyper if they could get personal assistants next.

Pyper hopped out of her seat, incensed, and declared, "The sooner we start, the sooner we finish, and the sooner I can steal back my Chrissie! So let's START THE GODDAMN SHOW!"

--- ȺΦΩ ---

Episode 11: Excuse Me!

The video splash for WWE and Mouthpiece plays, and then the show starts with Pyper seated in the middle of their now lavish set. She is noticeably annoyed and fidgety, and greets the audience with, "Hello, this is Mouthpiece, your source of information on WWE and… well, just WWE now, really. I am Pyper, that is O-Gee—"

She points and O-Gee pops in for a moment to say, "Hello!" and then pops back out.

"—And that's it. As of today I, Pyper, and O-Gee are the only hosts of the show; anybody who may or may not have hosted in the past is now DEAD TO US. You hear that, Backstabbing-big-sister-from-hell-who-has-stolen-my-Chrissie-but-I'm-going-to-get-him-back-soon-enough!!"

"Excuse me!!" a shrill voice cuts in and suddenly Vickie Guerrero steps onto the set, decked out with the Miss Wrestlemania sash and tiara. "What's this about only having two hosts for the show?? WWE paid for three and WWE should have three!"

"Well tough luck!" Pyper declares obstinately. "WWE's going to have to make do with two! What, you think I'm not good enough on my own to interview you??"

Vickie sniffs disdainfully and says, "Maybe, considering you haven't even introduced me yet."

"Vickie, there's no need to introduce you anywhere you go," Pyper responds with a sigh. "One word from your mouth and everybody within a six mile radius knows you're around." Vickie is about to open her mouth to rebut that when Pyper says, "But all right. Ladies and gentlemen in internet-land, let me introduce to you the special guest for this week, RAW General Manager and Miss Wrestlemania, Vickie Guerrero."

Appeased, Vickie gives the royalty wrist wave and then takes the seat beside Pyper. "Thank you, thank you, so glad to be here."

"Well, Vickie, there are a few things I'd like to talk to you about," Pyper begins. Vickie smiles and is about to talk when Pyper cuts her off. "First off, however, we have O-Gee with some news. O-Gee?"

The camera switches to where O-Gee is seated at a desk with an LCD screen situated to her right. She clears her throat, shuffles a few papers, and then speaks. "Thank you, Pyper. As of Friday, 29 May 2009, WWE announced on their website that it had come to terms with the release of Mr Kennedy… Kennedy." The screen shows a picture of Kennedy after last RAW's main event, clutching his right wrist. "This follows reports that Mr Kennedy suffered an injury last RAW on his first night back after months of being away."

"Wait, they FIRED Mr Kennedy??" Pyper shrieks off screen.

O-Gee looks off in her direction. "I guess. Back to you, Pyper."

The camera returns to where Pyper and Vickie are sitting. Pyper looks incredulously at Vickie and asks, "Why in the hell did that happen??"

"That was a decision made by the Board of Directors and one I am not at liberty to discuss," Vickie responds. And, apparently fed up with being interrupted, she barrels on. "But let's get on to matters that I can discuss, and the first one is Mouthpiece. You never mentioned it last show, Pyper, but I was the one who initiated WWE's purchase of this show and helped close the negotiations. I guess you can say that Mouthpiece now owes all its recent successes to me," she says, looking proud of herself. "So, anytime you want to thank me…"

Pyper looks less than eager to do this, so instead says, "So, ah, Vickie, let's get on to this feud between you and Santino—ahem, excuse me, 'SanTINA' Marella."

Vickie's smug look immediately turns sour. "'Santina' Marella is a stain on an otherwise strong women's line up on RAW. I was able to win the Miss Wrestlemania crown from her and bring prestige to the title, and now he—she—it wants to take it away from me in a hog pen match?? Can you think of anything more degrading??"

"I dunno, Vickie," Pyper says. "Triple H flashing your granny panties on stage during your wedding celebration to Edge last year was pretty bad… That and the whole nudie pictures thing on eBay…"

"Why did you feel the need to dredge all that up??"

"Because it happened," Pyper says simply. "Speaking of which, when's the divorce?"

At that Vickie recoils and stands up defensively. "What divorce?? Who have you been talking to?? Has Edge said anything??"

"Nah, but there's a betting pool on it that's been going on for over a year now. Az—I mean, that PERSON who shall not be named from now on already lost – she had you guys splitting up in six months. I, on the other hand, had two years and three months, and that's coming up really soon, so, any inkling?"

"I do NOT believe this!" Vickie yells indignantly. "I am this show's SPECIAL GUEST this week! I am the RAW General Manager! I am MISS WRESTLEMANIA! You have no right to badger and treat me this way!"

It is then that the wholly absurd figure of Santina Marella enters the set, the black bob firmly secured by a strap under the chin and supporting tight jeans and a flimsy halter top. "Badger? I don't see-a any badgers," 'she' says in a high-pitched voice. "Just one very disgruntled piggy. Squeee!!"

"Shut up, SHUT UP!" Vickie screams, beginning to throw a tantrum. "Where did you come from? You're not supposed to be here!"

"But I am a big fan of the show," Santina insists, "And since I've never been on the set of Mouthpiece, not once-a, not at all, ever, I wanted to come and see-a what it was like. I didn't think you would mind sharing the spotlight with the vision that is me, Santina Marella!"

Santina then preens towards the camera, Vickie seethes and Pyper, for once, is content to sit back and give them amused looks. Until Santina then reaches off screen and pulls out a huge bouquet of flowers. "Oh, by the way-a, Pyper, this is for you."

"That's not from you, is it?" Pyper asks warily.

"No, I was asked to give it to you by a good-looking boy from Smackdown."

"It's from Chrissie!!" Pyper says joyously, grabbing the flowers and holding them close. "He wants to apologize for hanging around with Az—er, HER, this week, I know it!"

"Uh, no," Santina says, having plucked the card from the bouquet. "It is from John Morrison. See? Says so-a right here," he holds up the card. "'To Pyper, for your second show. There is always room for you in the Palace of Wisdom. From the Shaman of Sexy'."

"Eh?" Pyper says, confused as she looks at the card.

O-Gee giggles off screen and says in a sing-song voice, "Pyper has a FANBOY!"

Vickie angrily slaps at the flowers from the extravagant bouquet that have gotten up her nose and then glares angrily at Santina. "At Extreme Rules I will have Chavo in my corner and we will mop the floor with you," she declares, and then says with a smirk, "Feel free to have family there as well. Your twin brother Santino, perhaps?"

"Maybe I will!" Santina says, but looks a little uncomfortable. "But you can go ahead and have an entire extended family, Vickie! Why-a not Babe? Or Wilbur? Or Miss Piggy or Ham?"

"Ham was a monkey, you moron!"

"Either way, he went up in space to avoid seeing you!"

At that Vickie lets rip a furious scream and then she and Santina begin a very awkward display of hair-pulling and bitch-slapping. Officials immediately come in to try and pull them off each other, but they continue to do their unorthodox catfight in the background while Pyper continues to stare perplexed at her gift.

O-Gee then steps in and faces the camera. "Well, that's all we have for this week. Hope you enjoyed, tune in for the next show!" she waves, and that is how the show ends.

--- ȺΦΩ ---

"… I kinda want to say that this show has mellowed since WWE bought them out, but at least viewers are still getting treated to some really fucked-up shit," Alex Shelley was saying as he shut his laptop, grinning.

"Yeah, whatever; I still think WWE totally screwed up a good thing by stamping their fucking logo all over it, though," Chris Sabin said, taking a seat on the bench by his tag team partner. "Speaking of which, was that Azrael chick on this week's show?"

"Nah, I think she's gone AWOL," Shelley said. "But hey, watch some of the older episodes if you want your fix of her."

"Dude, it's totally not like that," Sabin defended. "It's just Azrael—"

He was interrupted when someone suddenly came up behind them and draped an arm each on their shoulders. "Hello, boys," Azrael said, leaning in between them and giving them a smile. "Sorry to spring up on you like this, but I'm going to need a little favor…"

To be continued…