I guess you really did it this time
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a tightrope
Lost your mind tryin' to get it back

BPOV-

I lie in bed, playing back the night I came out to my parents. Not even having Kurt sleep next to me can keep the nightmares away. They always return the moment I am away from Kurt.

flashback-

''Can we talk,'' I ask my parents.

My dad turns off the television, and mom puts down her book.

''What is it, sweetie,'' she asks as she puts an arm around me when I sit on the couch next to her.

''What's the matter, Blaine,'' my dad asks.

''You guys love me, right,'' I ask.

''Of course we do, Blaine,'' she smiles.

''We love you no matter what,'' my dad smiles at me.

''Well...I want to share a very important part of my life with you guys.''

They lean forward, obviously expecting me to say something about music or school.

II take in a deep breath,''Mom...dad...I'm gay.''

They stare at me. A long silence envelop us before my mom breaks it.

''You're what,'' he asks.

''Gay. I've known it for a while.''

''No you aren't,'' my mom says shaking her head,''Your dating that nice Darlene girl.''

I shake my head,''No, we're just friends. She's dating my friend David.''

''Well...you definitely can't be my son,'' my dad says, shaking his head back in forth in disgust.

''Why not,'' I ask, genuinely confused.

''Because no son of mine is a-''

end flashback-

I wince as I remember how he screamed that ugly word at me. It was the only horrible word I'd ever heard my father use at me.

I remember him yelling. I remember him hitting me, and then telling me to get my 'little gay ass out of his house.'

When I refused, I remember him slinging me over his shoulder, carrying me out of the house, and sitting me next to the garbage cans on the curb. 'This is where trash belongs,' he'd sneered 'Trash and filth.'

I remember packing, and moving in with Wes and his family.

I remember how upset Wes and David's parents where. More upset than they were when, my dad forgot to pick me up from school.

I guess he really did it this time. He was on a tightrope. I was on one side, and his homophobic friends on the other. He lost his balance, and he nearly lost his mind trying to get it back.

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything
And everybody believed in you?

It must have been easy for him at one point. Maybe in his lunch box days. When he had nightmares, there was always a bigger bed for him to crawl in to. He believed in everything, and everybody believed in him.

It's alright, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been.
You're still an innocent,
You're still an innocent

He needs to know that it's all right. His string of lights is still bright to me. Who he is is not where he's been. My dad is still an innocent.

Did some things you can't speak of
But at night you live it all again
You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now
If only you would seen what you know now then

He's done things he can't speak of, like making fun of the gay kids when he was in school. He may not have felt bad about it then, but now he lives it all again at night. If only he' seen how mean he was being then...how cruel. Then he wouldn't be shattered now, lying on the floor cold and broken.

Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catchin' days?
When everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep
Before the monsters caught up to you?

''It was so beautiful,'' he whispers, trailing off as I sit him on the couch.

I bet it was beautiful, in his firefly catching days. When he couldn't reach something and someone bigger brought it down to him. It was so beautiful running wild. Then he fell asleep, and all of his monsters caught up to him.

It's alright, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent
It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did.
You're still an innocent.

I stare at the house after my dad rejected me. Again. I came home to tell him about Kurt after five years, and he rejected me. It's all right, though. Just wait and see. My dad's string of lights is still bright to me. And who he is is not what he did. He's thirty two, and he' till growing up. My dad's still an innocent.

I thought that five years ago, and I still think that now.

Time turns flames to embers
You'll have new Septembers
Every one of us has messed up too
Lives change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never too late to be brand new

But time will turn my dad's flaming eyes...his fiery words to embers. He'll have new and better Septembers. Every one of us has messed up, too. Just like the weather, lives change. And I hope my dad remembers that it is never, like me, it's never too late to be brand new.

It's alright, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent.
It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent.
You're still an innocent.

Life is a tough crowd. I dont know if he cares, but I still love him. He's still my dad. And his string of lights continues to glow bright to me, even thirteen years after he kicked me out. .

Kurt shifts next to me in his sleep, and I smile before kissing his forehead. If I hadn't come out, I might be married to a girl. I'd have a nice house, three beautiful kids, and my dad would be happy. But I woudn't have Kurt, and I wouldn't be engaged to him.

Lost your balance on a tightrope.
It's never too late to get it back.

I look at the picture of my dad. He lost his balance on a tight rope..but I hope that he knows it's never too late for him to get it back.