The Thin Blue Line Between Love and Hate (a.k.a. You Fucking Bastard!)
Cameron rescanned the instructions to be certain her sensors interpreted the data correctly. Blue was positive. Her strip was blue! Adam, you're on your way! Her system had not felt this complete since the programming convergence when she realized what Derek Reese meant to her functioning capacity. She would tell Derek about Adam and he would realize the logic of their relationship, that the fulfillment of his fondest dream was at hand, and then everything would be as it was before. Only instead of the bunkers and tunnels of post-Judgment Day they would be together in a world of light and plenty.
They could do all things; Derek always fantasized about them doing in his time. She knew he already did some of that now. He was always giving her lingerie, bridal lingerie, soft, lacy things. Their sheets matched her nightgowns and he changed them every night. There were things in their room that Sarah, John, and Charlie should never see. What would John say about that pillow with four inches of lace along all the sides? Derek brushed her hair out across that pillow until it must look like she was floating in free fall. She knew he watched her at night after he ordered her to close her eyes and pretend to be asleep. At first, she thought it was because he didn't believe she would actually stay in the same position until morning, but over time had deduced that wasn't why he watched her at night. Tonight she would ask him. There might be a logical reason for his behavior.
Maybe Derek would want her to suggest things for them do together in this world that they could not before. Ever since the robotics display at the chess match, her programming had maintained an open request for more data on robots. And the Planetarium! She wondered what Derek thought about planetariums and what they represented. All the stars were other suns and there could be other worlds around those suns. World without end could be beyond Earth. Her programming had never considered the possibilities where the Earth's atmosphere ended and the black of outer space began. She knew it had never entered Skynet's programming either. And they had to prepare for Adam's arrival. Her work at Firebase Alpha had taught her how to take care of a baby, but Derek had always avoided touching the children in the Amazons' nursery. She would have to teach him everything. Plans had to be made. Data chains branched out across her system. So many plans.
A paradox rose up to confront her. Adam was on his way, but the Adam she met before being sent back barely remembered her. She had terminated while he was still very young. But couldn't their actions since sent they had been sent back, alter the future? She knew they could. In her past Andy Goode had been Derek's best friend. They fought together for years. Andy and Sayles had escorted her to Firebase Alpha's VIP quarters for her two-day honeymoon. Andy usually reigned in Sayles impulsiveness. She remembered the gold earring he always wore and the slight beard on this jaw. Andy gave her a comb and brush set after she married Derek. It had been purple and still sealed in plastic. Derek used them to brush out her hair. But in this time, in the reality she lived now, Derek killed Andy trying to change the future and prevent Judgment Day. Sayles was dead too, but somewhere now was a boy growing up that was him.
Why couldn't she change the future? Sarah Connor spent every awake hour trying to stop Judgement Day. I don't need to sleep at night. And Derek was the strongest human soldier she had ever encountered. Why couldn't they change their son's future? His will to fight would be even more enhanced knowing he would be protecting their son. Should she tell him everything? It was a large amount of data for the human mind to process especially about Amazons. However, she did need to integrate John Connor and Derek- with existing Resistance infrastructure
She found other problems. Her programming had no data on how a Terminator's biosystem reacted to pregnancy. The possibility had apparently not been within Skynet's comprehension. She would need medical help. Charlie was a paramedic and he maintained contact with Dr. Hernandez. However Dr. Hernandez's training was field medicine. There were nurses among the Amazons already, but they would need someone with a solid background in clinical research and the ability to deal with Judgment Day looming in front of them.
And how would her pregnancy affect the rest of the household? John still wasn't adjusting to Derek and her together. His mood would grow worse with the news that she was carrying Derek's child. Sarah would be suspicious, but Sarah was suspicious of everything. However she needed Sarah as an ally now, if only because she was the only person in the house with firsthand experience in how pregnancy affected the body. There were things she wanted to ask Sarah, but couldn't because Sarah Connor discussed nothing that was not of security or military importance. Even more she wanted to talk to Sarah about Kyle, but she couldn't do that while Sarah believed her memory had been wiped. Charlie? Charlie might be happy for her. Lately, Charlie was the person that talked to her most often. Derek avoided her accept in their bedroom. John made comments about Derek's behavior and always led conversations in the direction of her ending sexual activity with Derek. But Charlie, she could ask Charlie questions? Charlie asked her questions about Derek quite frequently. He wanted to know how Derek treated her. In the world she came from only women asked those questions. In this world she had to build the Amazons, so she had no women friends among them to ask the questions. Yes, Charlie would be valuable to have around while she was pregnant. She would ask Charlie how she should tell John and Sarah they were soon to become an aunt and a cousin.
Whatever path she took, tonight she would not just be fucking with Derek. She would have her lover and her husband back. Tonight after recreating the anomaly at the highest level of completeness as they had in their tunnel days they would lay in each arms talking softly. She remembered those nights in the tunnels. She could determine the words he was using by the pattern of his lips against her ear as optimally as her sensors could pick up the sound waves created in his vocal cords. And the anomaly would roll over her sensors again and again with each breath. She could tell him about the grandchildren. John didn't need to know that information. It was just for her and Derek. Adam showed me photographs. Your grandson has your eyes as well as your name. She could predict how Derek's eyes would appear at that moment. Complete. Both their systems would be complete and on line single absolute unity.
. . . .
Derek sank down in the couch when he heard Charlie coming into the house. Lately Charlie always seemed to be in his face. He knew the guy was sociable. Most pre-Judgment day people were, but lately it seemed he couldn't walk through a room without Charlie saying something. Usually that something was related to Cameron. He was having a hard time keeping his head straight while he was fucking Cameron. Talking about her like she was his woman, it was just agony because if the world different, if she were real, Charlie was the kind of friend he would talk to about Cameron. And that was really rare in the world of men. Maybe if he looked engrossed in Guns & Ammo, Charlie would leave him alone.
"You should get Cameron one of those?" Charlie said.
No such luck. Derek glanced down at magazine. A photo of a Taurus with a pink grip covered one page. Why the hell would anyone want a pink handgun? "We got plenty of small guns."
"She's got plenty of nightgowns too, but you haven't stopped buying them," Charlie said.
Charlie's voice was that fake camaraderie you used for combat virgins or really wounded guys that probably weren't going to make it. Derek really hated that voice. He got up from the couch.
Charlie wasn't deterred. "All I'm saying is get her something she would like. Women know we buy lingerie for us not them."
"Cameron's not a woman. She's a machine." Derek said. He had to either get away from Charlie or punch him.
Charlie's expression didn't change. "John's not around. You can drop the act. I know you care for her."
Care for her! Care for Cameron! He cared for a lot of people in his life; John, Kyle, Sarah, and even Charlie sometimes, but the one thing in this universe that he didn't have feelings for was that lying, two-faced, malfunctioning Metal Bitch! "I don't care for her. I just fuck her."
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, if it makes you feel tough. I know you don't mean it." Charlie said.
The urge to wipe the smirk off Charlie's face with a fist grew stronger. "She's a machine. She's an artificial vagina that can fetch beer."
He turned to walk away from Charlie and nearly ran into Cameron. Her eyes were strange. Looking at her made him feel uncomfortable even though he had nothing to be ashamed of. She wasn't real!
"You fucking bastard," she said.
"Let's discuss this upstairs," Derek said. He could better talk his way through whatever programming quandary he had caused in the machine without Charlie around. He touched her shoulder.
"You fucking bastard!" she shouted.
Suddenly sound exploded in his ears and everything went black. When he opened his eyes, Charlie's face hovered a few feet above his. A thousand points on his body screamed in pain. He tried to sit up, but Charlie pushed him back down.
"Don't move. I got to check you out. You hit the wall pretty hard," Charlie said.
The room was a little hazy, but he saw Cameron standing a few feet away. "Why did you fuck that Australian bitch?'
Was he hallucinating? Hadn't she said that to him in the dream world? His vision started to focus. Cameron's expression hadn't changed though her skin color seemed much darker. He had never seen Terminator skin change color before. Her eyes were on fire. It reminded him of the time he tried to electrocute her. She walked out the front door without screaming anything else. Sarah and John rushed in.
"What happened?" Sarah demanded.
"Derek was jerk. Cameron hurled him into a wall." Charlie said.
"All right!" John exclaimed.
"John that isn't funny. Cameron can kill someone without realizing it." Sarah said. She helped Derek stand. "Is she glitching again? We will have to neutralize her."
"Cameron wasn't glitching. She was angry." Charlie said.
"Cameron's a machine. She doesn't get angry. She's just repeating words she heard in the past and filed away in her response bank." Derek said stumbling to the couch. Moving was going to be agony for the next couple of days.
Charlie's gaze went hard in Derek's direction. "You were an ass. And she's mad as hell."
Charlie might be pre-J-Day, but he was still tough. Derek had never fought him. There had never been a reason until now. Sarah got between them.
"What happened? Where's Cameron?" she yelled.
Charlie looked startled. "I don't know." He glanced around "She was here."
"She walked out the door a few minutes ago," Derek said.
John shot out the doorway like the bullet; then, came back a few seconds later. "She's no where in sight."
"Well, we've got to find her. Cameron walking around by herself is a big liability." Sarah said.
"She went to Radio Shack or to download more files at the library. She'll be back in a few hours," Derek said.
When he woke up the next morning, she was still gone. And the world felt as cold as it had after Judgement Day.
