Chapter 11 :

Simplicity :

Amanda and Olivia stood there, holding each other for a few more minute,minutes that truly felt like hours, until Amanda was finally the first to snap out of that intense but yet tender moment.

"Not that I don't appreciate having you close to me like that, but I think we should check on our victim." Amanda muttered as she unwillingly took a step back, not without breathing Olivia's scent one last time.

"You're right." Slightly biting her lower lip, Olivia had trouble getting her eyes off Amanda's lips and to let her go. She wanted this moment to last for ever but was forced to concede that this was neither the place or time for such intimacy.

For the next half hour, Olivia and Amanda interviewed the little girl as gently and respectfully as they possibly could. Fortunately for the two Detectives, surrounded by her parents, Felicia felt comfortable enough to tell them what had happened, or at least what she could remember.

Listening to the little girl telling them about the horrific four days she had spent at the mercy of that man, Olivia and Amanda learned Felicia did not know her agressor and that while she was blind folded the entire time, she would recognize his voice if confronted to the man again. Despite having years of experience neither Amanda nor Olivia were able to hide their emotion as the little girl bravely detailed the horror that monster had put her trough.

If interviewing rape victims never got easier with time, what still amazed Amanda was Olivia's interaction with the victims. watched. Olivia truly had a gift to make young victims trust her, holding their hands, comforted while she literally relived the most terrible things that had ever to them. The immense respect and care Olivia treated the victims with was what made a great cop and what had made Amanda fall for her.

Leaving the hospital that morning, the two women were somehow relieved to see how attentive and supportive the Suarez were with their daughter had no doubt they would get her the help she would need in the following years.

On the other hand, as cooperative as the little girl was, her statement did not bring much information to the Detectives.

Driving back to the precinct that morning both Detective prayed that the rape kit would bring them some solid evidence before the perp kidnapped another guy.

Against all odds, their prayers were answered and as they came back to the precinct, Cragen informed them that Dr Warner had the result from the rape kit and that the perp's DNA was in the system.

His name Kyle Miller, a 20 year old gardener who had been working in the park next to Felicia's school. His DNA had been put in the system after he sexually assaulted a 14 year old girl upstate. Unfortunately the officers who arrested did not follow protocole and failed to read him his rights, allowing his lawyer to get the rape kit and his confession thrown out off evidence and his case dismissed.

Unfortunately catching him turned out to be much more challenging than identifying him and while his picture had been sent to every single cop in the tri-state area, the per managed to stay hidden for five days.

Staying at the station from 7 am til almost midnight, Olivia and Amanda interrogated both his parents, his friends, colleagues but it seemed that Kyle was smart enough not to contact any of them or to use any of his credit cards.

On the fifth day which was a friday, as Olivia, Amanda and Cragen were about ti give up, the perp made his first mistake.

Out of cash with nowhere to hide, he decided to establish contact with his high school sweetheart thinking the Detectives had already interviewed her. What he did not expect was to see an entire assault team literally breaking the bathroom down as he was taking a bath. His girlfriend Michelle had allowed him inside her house and offered him to take a hot bath so he could relax and called Olivia the minute he set foot in the bathroom.

After confronting him with the DNA evidence, Amanda and Olivia managed to get a confession in less than two hours.

Aware that the two Detectives had pulled multiple double shifts to catch the bastard, Cragen was more than happy to send them hope around seven o'clock that day, ordering them to take saturday off.

"That was certainly a though one. I still can't believe his ex turned him in." Her hands shoved in her pocket as they walked towards her appartement, Amanda could barely keep her eyes open and could not wait to treat herself with a hot bath with bubbles and a good night of sleep.

"She's a mother now and no matter how screwed up she was in high school or how in love with him she was at the time, she didn't want him near her little girl." Despite being exhausted as well, Olivia had insisted to walk Amanda to her appartement, which was conveniently a couple of blocks from the precinct.

"I guess you're right. Well, that's my stop." Amanda replied, faking a smile, as they arrived in front of her building.

"Yeah..." Biting her bottom lip, Olivia was struggling to find a way to talk about the date she had promised Amanda not knowing if the blonde still wanted to go out with her. Being a straight woman, Olivia, up until now, had never found herself in the delicate position of having to ask someone out and felt slightly uncomfortable about it. Despite her discomfort, Olivia had already planned the perfect night out for the following day and she knew that she had no other choice but to gather her courage and ask Amanda out.

"So what about our date?" While she and Olivia were walking and standing in auto pilot, Amanda could sense that the brunette wanted to talk about their date but was to shy to bring it up so she decided to break the ice by reminding her of it.

"I was thinking I could take you out tomorrow night, if you think you'll be rested by then." Will things always be that easy with Amanda? Will she always read her mind and be able to take matters in her own hand if needed?

"We could do that or you could come inside and order some take out and watch a movie." Taking a step towards Olivia, Amanda reached out for the brunette's leather jacket and started to wander her fingers on the zipper, trying her best to resist pulling her into her embrace.

"You don't want me to take you out? Cause I kinda had an entire date planned." While Olivia loved Amanda straightforwardness and that she was lay back, she had planned an entire evening and she had every intention of bringing her to a nice restaurant, for which she would pay, followed by a romantic walk under the stars in central park. While she was not the most conventional person in the world, she wanted to do everything by the book and treat Amanda the way she deserved.

"And I'm sure that what ever you had planned was fantastic but I'm not Alex Cabot, you don't need to impress me. All I want is to spend time with you Liv, in a comfortable and safe place where we can be ourselves, not in a fancy restaurant where we won't be able to talk freely or where we might run into someone we know." Amanda wasn't surprised by Olivia's desire to treat her with an exceptional night and while she always appreciated being treated like a lady, she was a girl of simple tastes.

"Well, if that's what you want, then I will be more than happy to oblige." Swallowing hard as she followed Amanda in her building and then into her appartement, Olivia started to feel her pulse rise. While she appreciated Amanda's desire for simplicity, this intimacy she was offering her scared her to death. She had observed Amanda's behaviour enough to know that she was straight forward and that she seemed to have this physically need to be close to her and she didn't know if she could handle it. That's why she had planned on taking Amanda to a very public restaurant, so she wouldn't risk seeing Amanda make a move on her. All she could hope for now was that Amanda would feel her anxiety and refrain from attempting something she was obviously not ready for.

"Thank you. How about you settle down on the couch and order us some dinner? My tv is connected to an external hard drive and I have about two hundred movies for you to choose from. I'm gonna take a shower and I will be right back." Walking towards her bathroom, Amanda took a quick look over her shoulder, only to see Olivia running her right hand through her hair, which was a sign that she was extremely nervous. Sighing as she stepped into her bathroom, Amanda knew she had to renounce to the seduction plan she had had in a corner of her mind for weeks. As much as she wanted Olivia to stay the night and for them to make love for hours, the brunette was obviously not ready for that and she could not risk scaring her off by being too presumptuous and straight forward.

About fifteen hour later, Amanda finally joined Olivia back in the living room and another half an hour later the two women were having dinner on Amanda's couch.

"So do you think Felicia will ever recover from what happened to her? She's certainly strong and her parents seemed supportive." Amanda was siting on the left side of the couch, her right leg folded under her left thigh as she was facing Olivia.

"If her parents support her and if she receives proper psychological help, yeah she might have a chance of living a long and productive life, but she'll always will always be fragile, scarred by one that bastard has done to her." After spending almost twenty years on the job, including 14 years on the job, Olivia had met a lot of young victims and had often tried to stay in touch with them and no matter how strong or how loved by their family those victims were, they almost always suffered from heavy psychological troubles, often leading to drug or alcohol use or even sexual promiscuity.

"I guess we never really know what happens to the victims after we put the bastards in jail but when you think about it most of our perps were abused as children, it's an endless and vicious circle." Nothing could justify raping or murdering but some of the perps Amanda had arrested over the years had trouble past which could explain their behaviour. Violence leads to violence, she had no doubt about it.

"I guess you're right...I..."Was violence inherited or taught? Was an abuse child destined to be an abuser himself? Those were the questions that had been haunting Olivia ever since she had found out what had happened to her mother.

"Oh, honey. I'm sorry, I know your mother abused you and I didn't mean anything by it. If anything you're the living proof that the violence cycle can be broken." Well done Amanda, this evening had started so well and you had to open your big mouth and remind Olivia of who she was and of what she was convinced she was condemned to be.

"No, I'm not. There's so many things you don't know about me Amanda." What Olivia was referring to, was something only Casey Novak knew, something that had been haunting her for the past twenty five years and that could scare Amanda off for could, should she decide to share it with her.

"Then tell me. I told you Olivia, no matter what happened to you or what ever you think you did that was wrong, I will never stop believing in you and in us." Turning her back on Olivia for a second to leave her food on the table next to the couch, Amanda then slid closer to the Detective and after putting her food away as well, cupped her face with her right hand and gently started to caress her cheek with her right thumb.

"I almost killed my mother." The words were rough, but accurate and slipped out off Olivia's mouth faster than she had wished.

"What are you talking about?" Was Olivia exaggerating or did she fight back after her mother beat her up?

"After I told her that I was going to marry her student, she went ballistic. She was drunk out of her ass and broke the bottle of vodka she had in her hand and went after me with the jagged edge of the bottle screaming. I fought back, kicked her twice and she went flying across the room into the wall. I swear Amanda, I wanted to kill her. She was lying on the floor, unable to move and I started to have flashbacks of all the time she physically or verbally abused me. I could remember every single word, I just...I wanted her to die for what she had been doing to me." Her arms wrapped around herself, Olivia closed her eyes and started to rock herself back and forth. She couldn't, wouldn't face the look on Amanda's face.

"Oh, Liv, honey. That was self-defense, it was either fighting back or allowing her to hurt you again. I know that you feel guilty because she was your mother and you still loved her but you didn't do anything wrong." Just when Amanda thought she knew everything there was to know about Oliva, the brunette managed to throw her another curved ball, slapping her in the face with her confession.

"You don't understand. It's not like I roughed a suspect up a bit or had the desire to kill a rapist. She was my mother! Don't you see? If I have it in me to do that to my own mother, what do you think I'm capable of doing to you?" That was Olivia's biggest fear. Hurting Amanda was what scared her the most, because she had never cared for anyone the way she did for Amanda and because of that, she knew she was capable of the better but also of the worse.

"The difference between me and your mother is that I will never hurt you or give you a reason to strike back. I promise." Pulling Olivia into her arms, Amanda started to rock Olivia back and forth. For the first time since Olivia had shared her fears with her, she was actually scared. While she knew Olivia did not have it in her to attack her for no reason, she was now afraid that if provoked, Olivia might allow the darkness to take over and that thought was enough to freeze her blood in her veins, especially when she remembered Olivia's vivid reaction when she saw her interacting with her friend Alicia. She had to get the darkness out of Olivia soon or she might find herself forced to walk on eggshells for as long as they'd be together.


Hey guys! Well, I hope this "date" did not disappoint you. When you think about it, Amanda is right, she's not Alex Cabot, she's just a simple southern girl and doesn't need to be impressed. What she wants is to spend time with Liv to get to know her better, nothing fancy or extravagant.

I know this chapter feels a lot like the one where Olivia first confessed her dark thoughts to Amanda but I think I took things a step further this time by showing Amanda's fear of seeing Olivia hurt her if her anger was triggered like it was at the hospital. Amanda is only human after all and she can't always remain strong and confident.

Now, for those who are waiting for some action, well stay tuned, you might get what you want in the next chapter(or not...)

As I always say, I don't bite so don't hesitate to drop me a line or two!