A/N: Hello! :D

I'm sorry for the delay, but as some of you already know, I had a problem with my laptop and I didn't have it with me…but I had this chapter already begun, so I decided to wait and see if the document was still available which, btw, it's been :D so here it is! In the meantime, though, I updated "reality", so you had something from me to read. Hope you've enjoyed it!!! :)

Anyway, thanks soooo much for all the reviews, and adding me or the story to your lists. You guys are truly and really amazing! :hug:

Now…an announcement – this chapter was longer in my head and I guess you'll hate me when you read the last word, but…I've done that on purpose: too many things were there so I've decided to make it in two parts (the other one is already written and is even longer than this one, but…you know how I like to write about feelings and stuff and…maybe both parts together would have been like…torture (¿?) if you don't like to read so deep things at once, you know? But this one has feelings too…though maybe in a more introductory way than the other one – you'll understand that once you read the next chapter :D

Anyway, stopping this rambling and letting you read. Here's chapter 11, enjoy! :)


Leaving the phone on the bedside table, Gabriella let her body fall onto the mattress in defeat, sighing and closing her eyes – she needed to think, and she needed to do it quick because Troy was about to arrive.

She would share with him her thoughts, she was sure about that, but she wanted, first, some time for herself so she could put those same thoughts in order so she could have more sureness about all the confusion she felt in her brain. Deciding that maybe what she had to do was to make a list of all the feelings and emotions that had her mind so full, she stood up; grabbing a pen and a piece of paper from her desk, Gabriella returned to the mattress and leaned her back onto the pillows, trying to find a comfortable enough position.

She closed her eyes, trying to envision Troy and everything he was – as a person, as a friend, as a boyfriend…as a human, and so the list began…

"Things Troy makes me feel:

Gratitude: that is the most powerful thing I feel when I think about Troy; of course other feelings are involved, but the thankfulness I feel towards him for everything he's done for me is immense. He's helped me to escape from the black hole I was in; he's reached for my hand and has pulled me up to the surface; he's been the star that has illuminated the path I needed to walk; he's been the light of the tunnel I have been forced to walk through. I owe him a lot; my sanity for instance, but not only that – the renewed confidence in myself, the ability to talk to other people, the capacity to trust in another someone…everything are things he's taught me, things that he's forced me to do…things that are like that because Troy has been the one cheering me when I needed to be cheered, because Troy had been the one holding my hand through everything when my strength was nonexistent.

Safety: the effect Troy has on me is the same my father made me feel – safety. I always feel safe when he's with me…his mere presence is enough for all my worries to go away, to disappear; it's bittersweet actually, because though I crave that feeling when we are apart, it's a reminder of what daddy was for me too, of what daddy made me feel…and I don't have anymore. I try to not think about it, but there are times when it's uncontrollable – the memories of my father are too fresh in me so I'm not able to not connect the past…with what I have in the present.

Friendship: Troy was the first friend I had in a very long time. Though we jumped into a relationship almost from moment one, the truth is that he is not only my boyfriend but also my best friend. What we have are not only kisses, touches, hugs but also something deeper – we can talk for hours, we can see movies and talk about them, we can share our problems with each other because the other is always there, we can lean on each other, we always listen what the other has to say...we can enjoy each other's company for hours because we always have something to talk about or something to do - boredom is something I have never felt while being with him.

Trust: I trust Troy completely. It's been difficult but his patience with me has been my strongest ally; we have sorted out the problems talking and emptying everything we had inside. Neither of us have secrets for the other because we have worked hard so whatever we have in our mind is in the open; we both know the other is, probably, the person who know the other the most, and so both are aware that the comfort and the help we can find in each other is the highest. I've had my moments of doubt – a whole life being suspicious about the others' intentions is something difficult to forget – but, in the end, both have talked about what we feel, both have shared with the other the secret that has been bugging us…and so I've learned to trust him infinitely.

Passion – lust: I don't know which the correct word is to describe the butterflies I feel every time he touches me. The tingling sensation that follows each one of his touches is amazing and makes me feel alive; it is something that I don't understand because I've never felt it before, but I know that the magic his fingers have on me is something I never want to get rid of. And I've seen myself, more than once, wondering what would be to feel this same touch – the innocent touch of his fingertips caressing my arms, the soft touch of his lips on my cheek – in other parts of my body I'm embarrassed to talk about aloud. I blush uncontrollably each time I think about it, but I know, deep down of my core, that I want to experiment, to live new experiences I only am capable of imagine if the other part involved is Troy.

Attraction: it is not a secret that Troy's body is gorgeous; his toned arms, his built chest, his strong abs, his perfect eyes, his squared jaw are reclaims for my eyes…but there is something more; there are parts of his anatomy that I haven't seen…but I've felt. I've never pointed it out to him because I know that would be awkward to say the least, but more than once I've noticed something poking into my thigh while we kiss; his itched breath when my arms rub his stomach; the goose bumps when my chest is in contact with his…and so I know that his body is affected by mine, the same way mine is affected by his.

Those two emotions make me ask myself a question – am I ready for…step 2?

Respect: knowing his life the way I know it, I know that, though an outsider would consider Troy's life has been easy with the popularity, the looks, the admiration, the adoration he's always gotten, it's been everything but. Not only because of what happened with Heather at Troy's grandfather's death but also because the artificiality has been what has ruled his life all the time, making his heart became a stone, making him believe that no one could care for him for who he really was. But he's changed…a lot; he's opened up to me and he's let me in completely. He's welcomed me, not judging me, not paying attention to rumours, to my lack of popularity, to my precarious social status in the school…he's made an effort to know the real me, and he's fallen for what I really am. He's seen past what was supposed to be seen…and I respect him for that because, in a way, he's faced his known-reality for me.

Love: what I feel for Troy is love, there is no doubt about it. Since the first moment in his presence, I've felt something special running up and down my spine…something that only has gotten more intensive with the time went by. I've known he is special since the beginning, and the feelings he's evoked in me only have increased and gotten deeper; I need to see him, I need to talk to him, I need to feel his arms around me, I need to feel his lips on mine so I feel complete again. The giddiness and excitement I feel each time we are alone is something that still amazes me; I've never thought it was possible for someone to have such effect on me, but he's proved me wrong. The hold of Troy on me is something unbreakable…and I wouldn't have wanted it in any other way. I see myself with him when we are older…I see my future with him beside me, and so that tells me that my feelings run way deeper than a simple crush. Love, in the whole meaning of the word is the strongest feeling that have our hearts and souls tightly joined – end of discussion.

I want to feel more from him…I desire to feel…"

----------

The beeping of her phone startled her – looking at her watch, her eyes widened when she realized that time had flown without her being aware of it and so she dropped the paper and the pen and rushed to open the garage's door so Troy could enter (and hide) his car. Climbing down the stairs, Gabriella pressed the code for Troy to be able to enter the car in the garage and went to open the basement's door, waving at him when he smiled while parking the car.

Opening the door and locking the car, Troy smiled at her. "Hey beautiful!"

"Hey handsome," she answered back leaning to the doorframe, giggling when he walked back to her pouting. "What's with the pout?"

Troy wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her lips and pulling her into the cocoon his chest was afterwards – after the realization he'd had in his car, Troy needed to keep some kind of physical contact with her; her scent, the way her body moulded with his, the brightness in her eyes…everything was too inviting for him to be able to stay away from her. "Mom and dad were being parents…"

She knew she had to tease him, to joke with him about it so he didn't suspect anything and so she could talk to him whenever she felt ready to do so, but she couldn't. The warmness she was feeling in her heart with his arms around her vanished the playfulness and the teasing, making her remember the turmoil of feelings she'd been feeling…and also making her think about the father she didn't have beside her anymore. "You know they love you so much and that they only worry about you, baby," she said lowly.

He sensed something was wrong with Gabriella when she said that; he couldn't put his finger in what it was, but he knew she hadn't spoken these words randomly. There was something in her voice that told him that she had said that deliberately, consciously, and he couldn't understand what had put her in that mood after the weird afternoon they'd spent together…and also after having permission from their parents to be together, and alone, for a week in her house.

Narrowing his eyes, he tried to decide if he had to talk about his suspicions or not; in the end, though, he sighed, deciding to not dig further into it, knowing that she would share with him what was running through her head when she felt ready. However, he needed for her to know that he knew she was serious so he vanished too all the teasing in his voice when he spoke, squeezing her waist once. "I do…"

Gabriella kept silent, simply taking a deep breath still with her head leaning into his chest.

"What do you want to do?" Troy asked trying to lift the mood, pulling away and rubbing her sides up and down.

She closed her eyes and bit back a moan while a shiver ran up and down her spine – what the hell was that? She'd felt some "foreign" things when he'd touched her like that, but she'd never had the impulse to moan or to shiver so obviously…and that scared the hell out of her; she knew Troy was making her feel new things…but…she'd just thought about those new things! She was still trying to figure them out so it was impossible that only with some minutes thinking about it, and still being confused about everything, her body reacted so wildly at his usual touch…when it had never affected her this way.

"Are you cold?"

Gabriella closed her eyes at his concerned voice. "A little," she lied, shrugging her shoulders and pushing herself more into him. "Can we go inside?"

"Of course," Troy said rubbing her back up and down trying to create some friction. "Let's go…"

"What about if I prepare some dinner while you go upstairs to drop your bag?" Gabriella asked when they were in the kitchen.

"Sure," Troy nodded. "Be right back…"

He kissed her cheek and went upstairs, leaving a confused Gabriella behind – she couldn't understand what was happening with her, and with her lack of previous relationships, she couldn't know if what she was feeling was "normal" or not. It was as if her body was telling her she had to take a step further in their relationship, but her brain was telling her the time to go all the way hadn't arrived yet; she craved Troy's touch…but she didn't know if she was ready to have this same craved touch.

"Urgh," she felt frustrated and took a couple of deep breaths, willing herself to be okay when Troy came down again. She would talk to him about all of that…but not when she had no idea about how she should phrase whatever she was thinking…mostly because she didn't know, either, what she was thinking.


With Troy

Leaving the kitchen, Troy stopped at the bottom of the stairs; he knew something was bugging Gabriella, but he couldn't understand what had changed since she'd left his house some minutes before because, that he remembered, nothing had happened. But it was a fact that she was like absent, as if her mind was everywhere but where her body was; he could see she was distracted, that she was thinking about something hard, with all her concentration, so that told him that, whatever that was wrong with Gabriella, was something really, really serious.

This last thought was enough for him to turn around and began to walk towards the kitchen again. He stopped at the door and looked at Gabriella being unnoticed by the girl; he only could see her back, so he didn't know which her face was…and the same with her eyes – the windows that would have let him to see her soul – but he could tell her head was lowered as if she was looking at the ground. Troy, however, knew that nothing like that was what was happening; he knew Gabriella way better than that, and he knew that her position only was a reflection of her mood.

Yeah, something was seriously wrong with Gabriella that day.

He wanted nothing more but go there and wrap his arms around his girlfriend, giving her the comfort she seemed to need…but he knew that wouldn't help her or them; if he knew something about Gabriella, it was that she needed her own time to put her thoughts in order and to be able to put them into words.

He sighed knowing that she would talk to him whenever she felt ready – too bad the moment wasn't the present one.

But he had to wait.

Though it hurt to know she had a problem, he realized that it wasn't about what he needed but about what she needed – time…and some space.

Nodding his head only for himself, Troy stepped back going back to the living room, where he grabbed his bag and climbed up the stairs to Gabriella's room, the room that would be also his for the days he would be "living" there until Marie returned from her trip to Los Angeles.

The door of Gabriella's room was opened, and so he went inside not really paying attention to his surroundings; he knew her room the same way he knew his – perfectly. He could walk in with his eyes closed and that wouldn't suppose a problem because he knew how many steps he needed until he arrived at the bed, where the closet was, where the desk was, where the stereo was…he even knew where Gabriella kept all his shirts – something she'd tried to hide from him uncountable times…without luck, because he'd wanted to know where all they were. The number of shirts in his own closet had decreased dangerously, and so he asked Gabriella for his shirts one day, coming back empty: Gabriella decided she didn't want to give them to him because they still smelt like him. He couldn't lie; her soft voice, her pout – her adorable pout – the brightness in her eyes when she clapped her hands together and begged to him that she needed the shirts with her were too difficult to resist, and so he craved at her wishes.

Well, almost.

He convinced her that three shirts didn't smell like him anymore, and so she refused to keep them; she didn't want them if they didn't smell the way they were supposed to smell, so he brought them back to his home, he wore them again…and they ended in her house…again.

Leaving the bag beside her closet he knelt down; opening it, he took some more comfortable clothes to put them on – he knew they wouldn't be leaving the house any time soon…not that he wanted to do so or he had some complaints about it, either.

He sat in her bed to take out his sneakers…when he saw a single paper lying on the mattress; curiosity won over his rational side which told him to leave the paper alone because it was Gabriella's…and so he read it, widening his eyes when he read the first sentence.

His eyes danced along the page, reading random words – he didn't choose the words but it seemed his brain knew perfectly what it had to look for; the words he could read told him a lot more than what he'd talked with Gabriella since the first time they met…helping him to understand her, helping him to understand where they stood, helping him to know that what Gabriella was feeling was the same he was feeling: the mixture of love and lust, the attraction, the gratitude, the safety, the respect…each one of those emotions was what his heart was feeling.

And that scared him with no end.

Part of him felt relieved to know that she was as confused as she was; he'd felt like an idiot trying to figure out what his heart was telling him, but to know that he wasn't the only one with "that problem" made him feel better. Another part of him, though, was scared; he couldn't believe Gabriella still thought so little of herself – what he read in the gratitude part and what he read in the respect part were enough for him to damn all the heavens and "his friends", because he knew that they were the ones doing all but help her with their bitchy comments.

Something deeper scared him too – Gabriella had talked about feeling safe with him by her side, and maybe that was true…at the moment, where their relationship was a secret, but he knew that would be exactly the opposite when it was in the open. Was he really worthy? Was he really enough to protect her when all the hell broke in at the "bomb" their relationship was for the others' eyes?

He didn't think so.

But still, reading the words Gabriella had written he felt amazed by her. He couldn't believe the trust she had in him because he felt as if he didn't deserve it – she was the one that broke his shield penetrating in his soul the way she did, because he was sure as hell she could see right through him, but still she was a mystery for him. He knew her, of course, and he knew that there were only a few things she could keep off from him…but the proof that there was more Gabriella than what he thought was between his hands – the paper, the list she'd done was a proof that he still had a lot of things to discover…

And he couldn't wait.

Because he wanted, and needed, to know everything about her; what they had was a lot…but still insufficient. He was in a point where he not only needed to feel connected with her soul but also with her body; the emotional part of their relationship was extreme – what was felt by one of them, was also felt by the other – but the physical part was far from complete because he knew that the next level of intimacy of their souls would arrive, only, when they reached another level in the physical aspect of their relationship.

The problem was he didn't want to pressure her; he promised himself long time ago that she would the one establishing the rhythm of their relationship, and he wanted to stick to his word, but it was being more difficult with the time went by. His body reacted automatically at the minimal touch Gabriella did…and not always in the best way; the "hot" he felt each time her fingers danced randomly along his stomach was something he'd never felt before, the tingling sensation of her chest caressing his when they kiss – even though both were wearing clothes – was excruciating, the hungry he felt each time her lips were on his…it was as if his body was screaming, begging, pleading for a release.

But the release never came when they were together; cold showers and the help his own hands could offer were the remedies so he was able to still be near her and not throw himself at him, possessing her, feeling her his and burying himself in her deeply…

He had to shake his head.

He couldn't think that way if he would be staying in her house, alone with her, for almost a week, sharing a bed every day.

He groaned letting his back touch the mattress in defeat – he was on for a long week.

Because even though he needed to take things further between them, his mind was settled – the rhythm of their relationship was the one she decided for it to have…because she meant the world to him and he wasn't about to loose her for stupid physical needs. He wouldn't pressure her, ever…

Over his dead body.


With Gabriella

Take deep breaths…

Take deep breaths…

Gabriella groaned in frustration – the mantra was being just useless.

The inward battle in her brain was unstoppable; part of her wanted to run after him and confess to him everything she was feeling. Another one, though, was scared to death of which his reaction would be; there was a chance for him to laugh at her and at her fears…

No, she couldn't think that way…she knew Troy wouldn't be capable of doing so…simply because he loved her, the whole her, and so he would hear what she had to say and they would talk about "the issue" like two mature people.

But if she was so sure about it…why the hell she was still in the kitchen, afraid and freaking out, while he was upstairs, in her room? That didn't make sense.

Letting her head lean on the fridge's door, Gabriella's eyes locked with the clock – he'd been upstairs for way too long now…or the chaos her mind had inside was making her imagine things? Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, Gabriella scrunched her nose trying to remember when he'd gone upstairs…and then it didn't matter – he'd been upstairs for way too long.

He'd said he would go and drop his bag…only; the shower wasn't running, so he wasn't getting a shower…to take off his clothes and putting on others more comfortable wouldn't get him this much…why the fuck was he still upstairs?

And then, the truth fell upon her.

The list.

The fucking list she'd had the stupid idea to write down…in a stupid piece of paper…that she'd dropped on her bed when he'd rung the bell.

Fuck.

Shit.

Fuck.

She didn't need anything more; running she left the kitchen behind and went to her room – the panic of him reading the list making her forget the embarrassment she would have felt in another circumstances – only to find him laying on her bed, with his eyes closed…the piece of paper right beside him.

She stopped dead in her tracks, the awkwardness she was feeling freezing her body; should she go in and talk to him? Should she make her presence known? Or should she run away and hide?

The decision was made for her when he sat up and locked his eyes with hers questioningly.

"I take you've read the…" Gabriella said softly pointing at the paper, incapable of talk anymore when she saw his eyes darkening, knowing that to run away would be useless with him having seen her.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Why haven't you told me anything of that before?" The question came out harsher than what he wanted and he winced when her eyes widened at his tone. "Sorry…" He said lowly, lowering his eyes.

"What do you want me to say?" She said taking a tentatively step towards him. "I mean…what you've read is what I feel…if you don't feel the same…"

Her voice trailed off and Troy snapped his head up to look at her. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Wha.." Gabriella pulled her hair away from her face tiredly. "Aren't you mad because of me feeling that?"

"Of course not," Troy shrugged his shoulders. "I'm mad…well no, mad no, but…frustrated…because you're feeling this way and you haven't said anything."

"But what I feel…I mean…is kinda…awkward?" Gabriella blushed furiously and lowered her head.

Troy stood up and went to stand in front of her; placing two of his fingers under her chin, he lifted it, forcing her to look at him. "Do you really feel this way?" Gabriella nodded wordlessly. "I feel the same," he whispered, his thumbs moving to caress her jaw.

She closed her eyes. "You do?" She whispered shivering at the magical pleasure his fingers were making her feel.

"I do," he said against her lips. "I've been for a while…"

Gabriella's eyes snapped open. "You have?"

"Yeah," Troy rubbed her nose with his. "You have me completely crazy for you since the very first moment, baby…"

She blushed again and struggled to free her face from his hold…unluckily. "What are we going to do?" She whispered, fear lacing her voice.

"What do you want to do?" He asked softly, still with his lips touching hers with the softest of the touches.

Gabriella looked at his eyes, encouraged by his actions. "Now?"

He nodded wordlessly…and also wordlessly Gabriella leaned up and connected her lips fully with his, beginning a proving kiss that gained intensity when his tongue rubbed her lower lip asking for entrance…because then, and only then, when she let him in, the kiss became furious and passionate.

Moans and groans were escaping from their mouths and being swallowed by the other; her hands were gripping his shirt in fists while his arms had caged her tightly making almost impossible for her to move, while his hands were moving up and down her spine…making her shiver in pleasure. "Troy…"

"Fuck baby," he moaned attacking her lips again, his hands rubbing her sides this time, while their tongues battled and danced wildly and sensually.

Gabriella began to walk forward until his legs touched the mattress, both teens falling down with their limbs tangled together and never breaking the kiss; the intensity exploded, the temperature in the room increased immeasurably, the passion erupted…the bodies were, finally, discovered…