Caitlin made it a habit to try and talk to Cisco more. Some days were easy, while others were downright impossible but, it was a balancing act. On the days that she could summon the courage to talk to him, the pair got a long great. Cisco seemed to understand everything needed to be done at her pace, so didn't try to rush her into being how she once was around him. Wally also encouraged her to continue trying to mend their broken friendship. It wasn't an easy feat by any means, but, still, she felt proud of her progress.
On one particularly trying day, Caitlin was just about to throw her hands up in the air and admit she didn't need friends when Wally came to her rescue.
"Caitlin, I need to talk to you about my latest results," he said as he came bounding into the cortex, interrupting Cisco half way through his sentence. She flashed him a grateful look as she nodded her head.
"Yes, of course," she murmured as she smiled apologetically at Cisco before Wally steered her away from him.
"I could literally see the knots of tension in your back," Wally muttered as they exited the cortex and she sighed.
"He's just wanting us to jump back into the friendship we once had and forgets that I'm not at that place anymore. Most days, he's good at letting me direct the speed of how fast we repair our friendships but days like today, he seems to forget that I'm still struggling with talking to anyone besides you," she murmured. Wally nodded his head in understanding.
"Trust me, I get it, Cait. I remember how long it took you to open up to me and that was just because I was proving myself to be a stubborn nuisance," he replied and she laughed a little at that.
"However, it seems like you and Barry have been getting a long fairly well." Wally added and Caitlin thought it over before nodding her head.
"We have, yes," she replied softly. She thought about all the mornings Barry showed up at her apartment, to simply sit with her and drink coffee before he flashed them to work. It was comforting, becoming tradition, and that was something Caitlin didn't take for granted.
"He flashes you here every morning so that means he's coming to your apartment at the very least," Wally carried on and she nodded her head.
"We're having some coffee before work and then he takes me home and we have some tea before I call it a night," she murmured and Wally beamed at her.
"Cait, that's great!" Wally enthused and she laughed gently at his excitement.
"It is," she agreed. "However, I don't want him around on the bad nights."
"What if he wants to be around on those nights? Especially those nights?" Wally asked and Caitlin sighed.
"It's no one's job but my own to fix me. Yes, you've seen a lot and have helped me through a lot but that's because you're stubborn and refused to be sent away when things got tough. Barry isn't at that point," she reminded him.
"What if he wants to be at that point but can't be because you won't allow him to be?" Wally countered.
"Wally, stop being so determined to be right," Caitlin laughed and he shook his head.
"Never," he grinned and bumped his shoulder with hers'.
"Well, even if that is the case, I will not let him get in as deep as you are. He doesn't need to be subjected to that," she sighed.
She thought over everything; the mornings and evenings they spent together and the two therapy sessions he had sat in on. She had broken down and cried during both but refused to let him comfort her. That wasn't his job. She knew that. However, even she had to admit that it was nice to know he'd be at her apartment every morning, waiting to be let in so he could drink her coffee and listen to whatever she decided to share with him.
"Did you ever think maybe he wants to be let in passed your barriers?" Wally asked gently and she frowned.
"What do you mean?" Caitlin asked.
"Look, Cait, I see the way he looks at you sometimes when you're not looking. I've only seen him look at one other person that way: my sister," he murmured.
"Don't be ridiculous, Wally. Barry and Iris are still working things out," she muttered, too determined to believe that they were.
"Just, know that he's starting to look at you the way he looks at Iris. I don't think that's because of how much you've let him in, either," Wally persisted.
Caitlin sighed, knowing it'd be useless to try and change Wally's mind on the matter.
"Alright," she murmured, hoping he'd just drop it. Just then, Barry came up to them.
"Hey, guys," he greeted them with a smile, to which they both returned with one of their own.
"You ready to go, Cait?" Barry asked softly and she nodded her head before looking at Wally.
"I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" Caitlin said and he smiled at her.
"Of course. Have a good night and do try and sleep longer than two hours, alright?" Wally replied. She nodded her head as he squeezed her shoulder gently. Then, Barry scooped her up into his arms after getting permission, and they were off. Caitlin kept her head tucked into the crook of his neck, focused on keeping her lunch down. Before long, Barry came to a stop and, after giving him the go ahead, placed Caitlin down on the ground gently.
"Tea time?" Caitlin asked softly. Barry hesitated and she wondered if he had something to say.
"Actually," he began and she felt her heartrate increase. "Is it alright if I crash on your couch tonight?"
Caitlin blinked. "Why?"
"Because you still look dead on your feet and I want to make sure you actually sleep tonight. More than two hours, I mean," he murmured and Caitlin sighed.
"I'm sleeping fine," she muttered but he shook his head stubbornly.
"I don't think you are, Cait," he reiterated. She thought over her options for a moment before hanging her head.
"Alright," she whispered, knowing that it might help her sleep better.
They made their way into her apartment and Caitlin headed straight over to the tea kettle. Once she got it turned on, she waited patiently for it to be ready to be poured. Barry took his usual seat at her counter. When the tea was ready, she carried the two steaming cups over to the counter and handed him his as she slid into the chair next to him. They drank their tea in comfortable silence, letting it envelop them.
This was a night that Caitlin wasn't a woman of many words, something perhaps Barry picked up on because he was equally as silent. They finished drinking their tea before Barry put the cups in the dishwasher. Caitlin stood up.
"I'll go get you sheets and a blanket for the couch, along with a pillow," she murmured as she jerked her head towards her hall where her closet for spare blankets was. After she had retrieved everything she needed, she met Barry back in the living room and saw that he was already changed for bed.
"What?" Caitlin asked dumbly.
"I may have flashed home to get ready really quick and brought back a spare change of clothes for tomorrow," Barry admitted with a sheepish shrug and she almost laughed.
"You're a mess, Barry," she remarked softly and he just grinned.
After making sure he had everything he needed, she left him for the night. She got ready for bed herself and climbed in, grabbing her journal off her night stand as she did so. After writing for a solid hour, she closed it with a snap and rolled over, hoping a dreamless sleep would be welcoming her. She still couldn't remember the point that she fell asleep until the point she woke up screaming.
"Caitlin! Cait! Hey!" Caitlin felt someone shaking her as her screams echoed around her room. She bolted up into a sitting position as her heart hammered a mile a minute. Barry was crouched down next to her, pushing her sweaty hair back.
"Breathe, Cait, breathe," he murmured and she nodded her head as she tried to get a breath in through the tightness of her chest. Eventually, that faded and she could breathe normally. She gulped as she looked at Barry.
"This is why I didn't want you to stay on the couch," she muttered as she wiped the sweat off her brow. Barry eased himself down on her bed, rubbing her leg gently. Surprisingly, she didn't jerk away from the touch.
"No, I'd much rather be here for you then you to wake up on your own, scared," he countered and she sighed as she nodded her head.
"Want to talk about it?" Barry asked a moment later.
"Jay…Killer Frost," she muttered, wondering why she was dreaming about Jay for a second time in a week.
"Carol said that was normal. That you would dream about both at the same time on occasion," he reminded her and again, she nodded.
"Wait right here, alright?" Barry asked.
"Where am I going to go?" Caitlin replied and he sent her a smile before flashing off, only to return seconds later with a glass of ice cold water.
"Drink some, please," he murmured and she hesitantly took the glass and drank some, instantly feeling her parched throat relaxing. They sat in silence for a few moments before he looked at her.
"Think you can sleep some?" Barry asked and she sighed.
"No," she replied.
"Try," he implored. He rubbed her leg again as he started singing softly, something that immediately helped put her to ease. She felt herself growing tired while listening to his soft voice. Eventually, too tired to fight the pull anymore, she succumbed to sleep once more, feeling at peace for the first time in a while.
