"A-alexis . . . how can this be?" asked Starscream as he dared take a step forward. "You look . . . healthy to me."
"But I'm not!" cried Alexis her tears seeming like streams. "I'm sick Starscream I so sick it's killing me!! Now you understand more about humans. We can die from the inside out! I can't ask you to stay and watch me whither away. I would never ask that of you so please . . . just goho!"
Alexis then turned and ran inside and far away from any of her windows to where Starscream couldn't see or even try to touch her. She hated rejecting Starscream like so, but it was for his own good and he just needed to see that. She loved him she did and she didn't want any of her loved ones to see her die like this. Oh what was she going to do if he decided to stay with her to the end?
What could she do? What could she say? Her heart longed for him to stay, but her mind told her to tell him to leave while he could. If only he would have just left instead of asking her all those questions. Then he wouldn't know . . . then he wouldn't care, but he did—he did.
Starscream didn't know what to say or do. She ran from him, something she has never done before in her life. She really wanted him to leave didn't she? She really didn't want him to see her in that much pain and agony and sickness. Oh Alexis why does she push him away? Doesn't she see . . . he loves her?
Starscream knelt down and looked for a place to see her, but she could not be found. He looked in every possible window to see her, but couldn't. She had hid herself from him probably wanting him to leave. He bowed his head and sighed.
Later he sat down next to her house and just thought to himself. She wasn't going to be here in three months. He knew humans lived short lives, but why so short for Alexis? Why his Alexis? Primus must have been punishing him since he didn't go back to cybertron with the other decepticons.
Curses to Him then! He would loathe Him ever the more if he let her die . . . if He let her whither away like som flower in the wind.
"Please don't," Starscream cried the feeling of sadness strongly overwhelming him. "Please Primus . . . don't let her die. Don't take her from me!"
He soon just burrised his head in his knees and cried for her. No tears just pain that boiled inside him and couldn't be washed away by the tears of the body. Little did he know that his cries were just loud enough that Alexis could hear them as she sat in her dark hall that was once bright by the sun but now black by the night. It wasn't pleasant to her ears as she heard his hurtful cries.
She had never heard him cry before and never thought she'd ever. It was then she realized how strong of feelings he had for her. He loved her didn't he? No one would ever cry for anyone they didn't love. She was glad deep down inside at finding out his love for her, but then again she wished he had picked someone else to love. He could die if he didn't leave now . . . he could die of love.
As soon as his cries met her ears her lips trembled and more tears began. She hit the back of her head against her wall and just cried to herself. One could think she was a baby, but she needed to cry, she wanted to cry. She couldn't help but cry for Starscream for she knew he cried for her . . . he would never see her again in 3 months, such a short time and so he cried.
She took her knees to her chin and soon buried her face in her legs just weeping like she's never wept before. She didn't want to leave Starscream but she had no choice. Time wasn't too nice to her right now and so every second that passed was another piece of her life slipping away. It was slipping away so fast right now and all she wished for it to do is go slow.
Her wishes were to go in vain though. It seemed she never got what she wanted. That day was going so well for her till she went to the doctor. She got a lead and Starscream had recovered from his damages.
How could she tell Jenny or Steven now? Or any of her friends back at the studio. What were they to think of her? Or how were they to treat her? Was she to be let go because of her frail condition? She didn't know.
All she could do right now was think of the future and what she wanted to do with the rest of the time she had left, how ever short it was. She couldn't stop crying in the moment as she heard Starscream's mourns. She couldn't stand it much less take it. She wanted him to stop but was too weak to get up and tell him.
She, herself, mopped in the dark and mourned for herself and mostly Starscream. She wondered what kind of life he'd have without her. She knew she made his life much more brighter and happier. Would it go back to the dark and evilness it once was? Or would he cherish her ways and . . . no . . . what was she thinking? He had to go back to the way he was. It was the only way to get over her.
It was hard for her to admit it, but perhaps if Starscream could start killing again then he wouldn't be so hurt inside. She never wanted him to be like so. She never wanted this to happen, but then again bad things always seem to happen to the Chandler family. First her mother dying at her birth,then her brother before he was yet a man, and her father of some illness, and now . . . her. It was too much to comprehend and—Steven! What was he to do without her, or what was he to say or react when she told him for she had to tell him soon.
It was the hardest thing now . . . telling the ones you love you can't be with them any longer. They think the family and friends have it hard. What about the one who has to leave this world and perhaps never see them again? It was bound to happen to her someday she supposed.
She wiped away her tears as she heard Starscream. She felt horrible knowing there was no way he could cry. How could transformers handle sadness then? How could they get it out of their system?
Alexis' heart begged her to go to him and at least try and comfort him, but her mind told her to stay where she was and wait. Sometimes there is a time to be alone, but then again . . . sometimes there's not. It lasted for a while as Starscream wept. Alexis cried as much and long as he did.
No one would ever understand their pain that day for it was like they both cried together and for each other. It was sad yet bonding. Starscream could hear her cry as he did so, but soon she became quiet and so he stopped as he didn't want to cause his spark any more pain in sadness. He placed a hand over his face and felt his motherboard going crazy from the new emotion.
It was all so new to him, yet he's felt it has always been there waiting for something, or someone to bring it out. He inhaled to himself for a bit and soon turned his head to see if Alexis had come out of hiding anywhere. He turned a bit and looked into the window. She was not there and so he turned back and his lips trembled again thinking to himself would he do this 3 months from now? Look in only to find she was not there? It was horrible to think of but he had to—he had to.
He placed his hands on his knees and the pain of losing her crept back in. He began tighten his grip on his knees. So much that his claws delved in to his metallic skin on his knees. Some energon ran down the side of his legs as he did this, but all he saw was red and anger.
He was angry because she was leaving him. He knew it wasn't her fault, but he only blamed humans. They were nothing but death infested rats! Full of disease and filth!
Cursed earth and all who loved it! If he could he would destroy it a thousand times over . . . if only it could give Alexis a chance to live. But life turned differently. Life let the good die and the other who deserved death live. Why did it do so?! WHY?!
He then looked down at his hands and realized what he had done. He took them away and out of his metallic flesh only to look at them covered in how own energon. He felt no pain at all from his self-inflicted wound. He didn't care that was the reason.
As he looked at his hands covered in energon it made him think about the times back on cybertron. The times when he used to murder and slaughter the innocent and weak. He was the one who deserved to die. Who was he to say unfair when he should have died or at least been killed for the just? Who was he? . . . he was just . . . a decepticon.
"Starscream," came that familiar voice back on his comlink. "Starscream are you still there?"
"Hhh, yes I'm here Barricade!" sighed Starscream as he rolled his optics and leaned his head back against the house. "How did you get back on to my comlink frequency? I thought I turned it off."
"You did, but I just did a little hacking of my own," said Barricade. "Look are you coming back to the Nemesis or not? It is fully operational now and ready to head back to cybertron, to home Starscream."
"I can't," shook Starscream as he gazed up into the stars seeing a slowly moving light knowing it was the Nemesis.
"Well why not?!" asked Barricade.
"It's Alexis," sighed Starscream as if he was about to die.
"What about her?" asked Barricade. "I thought she told, oh sorry, politely asked you to leave? Now if she turned you into that gentlebot I thought about then heed her wishes and LEAVE!"
"She's going to die Barricade," sighed Starscream so heavy Barricade hardly recognized him through all that newfound emotion in him.
"Oh . . . well then . . . are you going to abide by her . . . last wish?" asked Barricade seeing the perfect opportunity to get his commander back home to cybertron.
"She wants me to leave so I won't have to watch her die in 3 months," sighed Starscream as if one in a dream or swooned. "But in her heart . . . she begs me to stay even though it isn't the right thing to do."
"Then go by the right thing to do Starscream," said Barricade. "I do not want to have to wait a 3 months just to leave!"
"If I say you will then you will!" growled Starscream getting up and standing up straight. "Barricade I can't just leave her to die sad and alone. I could never do that to her. I . . . would like to be there for her when the time comes for her to . . . leave."
"I see," said Barricade thinking to himself about a few things. "Well is that your order my lord?"
Starscream bowed his head and looked around. The answer was there but he didn't want to say it just yet. He sighed as he looked back up at the stars and the Nemesis. Why did it have to be so hard to leave this planet? Why was everything in his life so hard?
It was then he heard something from inside Alexis' home. He turned to gaze in the window and there she was. Sitting on her couch, her living room lit by a small table lamp as she watched a movie. She had her arms crossed and her eyes gently fixed on the screen. He mood was grim, but he saw she tried to lighten it as she watched the movie.
What she was watching he didn't know, but soon he knelt down and just gazed at her as she slowly breathed up and down as if trying to reserve her life that was disappearing by the second. He lifted the window to the living room quietly and just starred at her as she watched a certain scene that made her eyes flutter to and fro as if it had triggered another emotion from the heart.
"Alexis," he spoke so calm and gently no matter how rough his voice naturally was. "Alexis please speak to me."
"I like this movie," she said out of the blue. "It's one of my favorites."
Starscream glanced at the movie as Alexis still kept her eyes fixed on the screen and not Starscream probably trying to avoid more sadness and tears. It was a different kind of movie. It was about a dancer and a man who loved her. But she could never be with the man because of his nature.
"I like romantic movies like this, but then again . . . this movie ends so sadly," said Alexis as her eyes filled with tears. "That man loved the dancer, but the dancer couldn't be with him and it hurt her because he couldn't understand."
Alexis then bursted out in tears as she cupped her face and wept so hard. If she would have seen the painfully sad look on Starscream's face she might have died. Starscream wished to comfort her, but hat could he do. He then moved his hand to enter the window.
It was a smaller window than before and so he might not have ever gotten his hand back out, but he wasn't thinking of that at the moment. All he was thinking about was her. He reached in the window and came to her. He touched her body and just as soon as he had she immediately gripped his hand in her small grasp just rubbing her head on his hand wetting him with her ongoing tears.
"Alexis I'm here," he said so softly letting her stay there on him as long as she liked. "And I'll always be here . . . even when the time comes . . . I want to be here with you."
After hearing this Barricade had received his command. He was to wait three months then, or perhaps shorter. This human female could die for all he cared. Perhaps her death would cause the old Starscream to come back out? Just perhaps.
Alexis looked at Starscream with watery eyes. It was against her wishes that he stay, but her heart was glad for a moment in time. He cared enough about her to be with her to the end. Yes . . . she would have him to the end. She scanned his face with her watery blue eyes and gently stroked the side of one of the fingers she had grabbed with her hand and just sighed as she shook her head.
"Alright Starscream . . . alright," she sniffed trying to stop crying.
Starscream then glanced at the movie that still played and heard a song from it as the dancer and the man held each other. Yes that was what he was thinking as the song played. To share with her the last of her life and love. He knew it might kill him to watch her die, but he wanted to be there for and with her no matter what anyone else said he would share with her this last precious life he could for there was no one else he wanted to be with than her.
Alexis closed her eyes as Starscream gently caressed her body with his thumb and just laid her head on his hand. She then sighed out one last word before time passed by her—
"Thank-you."
And so there they stood as Starscream comforted her and she held him together before the last days. She was glad he stayed, but feared the day when she would leave him all alone to either turn back into his old self or remember her and change like she had hoped and prayed for.
