Warning: Severe angst.


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Bryce.

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Sirius wandered down the corridor, he'd arranged to meet Lily after her History class and so had about twenty minutes to spare, he knew Remus and James were trying to fix their relationship and so had wanted to give them some space. "Hello you."

"You shouldn't sneak up on people." Sirius grumbled, turning to scowl at Bryce who simply smirked.

"Thought about it yet?" Bryce asked, sliding his and along Sirius' back and leading him down a smaller, deserted, corridor.

"I... It's complicated." Sirius muttered.

"Come on Siri! You know you want me..." Bryce said, turning Sirius to face him and kissing the animagus gently. Sirius' arms automatically wound around Bryce's neck, his fingers tangling in the other boy's hair, then he felt the baby kick and jerked back. "What?" Bryce asked with a frown, not having felt the kick.

"I... I can't do this. I can't lie to you." Sirius whispered.

"Lie to me... What do you mean? Have you got a boyfriend already? Cause that's not... Just break up with him, who ever he is. He'll never be able to love you like I do.."

Sirius scowled, "I don't have a boyfriend." He muttered, "I... I'm pregnant." Sirius mumbled finally.

"Oh." Bryce frowned, he stared at Sirius for a moment before shaking his head and moving away, "How far gone?"

"Six months." Sirius mumbled. "It... It might not be yours." Bryce spun around to look at Sirius, his lips tightening slightly, he took the few steps towards Sirius and put his hand against the animagus' shoulder, pushing him backwards into he wall, "Might not be?" It was almost growled and Sirius paled, giving a small nod. "You were screwing around behind my back?"

"No! It was after we broke up." Sirius whispered, deciding not to mention how hypocrytical Bryce was being.

"You whored yourself?" Bryce asked, almost smirking, "You missed me that much..." Sirius lowered his eyes, staying quiet, "So you giving it up for adoption or what?"

"Actually I... I was going to keep it." Sirius murmured.

"No."

"What?"

"No, you're not keeping it." Bryce snapped, "You're not fit to look after yourself let alone a kid."

Sirius felt tears in his eyes, "But I..."

"Look, you can trust me right? I'm the only one who's truly honest with you." Bryce insisted, his face now close to Sirius', "You can't look after a baby, it's better off with someone else." Sirius looked away from those piercing eyes, "You know I'm right, and then things can go back to the way they're meant to be. You and me together."

"You're right." Sirius whispered.

"'Course I am. You alright babe?" Bryce asked, gently, putting his hand on Sirius' arm.

"Hmmm... I just... I was really looking forward to being a dad." Sirius muttered.

Bryce scowled, "You're not fit to be a dad. Not now, maybe some day but not now." He said sternly.

Sirius looked at him sadly, "But..."

"No but's!" Bryce growled, shoving Sirius backwards into the wall, "You can not keep that child. And do you really expect me to look after a kid that might not even be mine because of your whoreishness? Huh?!" Tears sprang to Sirius' eyes as he shook his head, "Exactly, so stop this nonsense."

"But..."

Sirius was cut off as Bryce's fist connected with his jaw, "Now look what you made me do!" Bryce yelled, Sirius' shoulders shook with silent sobs as he moved his hand to touch his jaw, "We are not keeping that baby." Bryce growled, "Okay?"

"Okay." Sirius whispered.

Bryce grinned then and moved away from Sirius, "See babe, everything will be fine." He said, "How about we go to the kitchens and get some cake?" Sirius looked up at Bryce and managed a half smile as the other boy brushed away his tears, he gave a small nod and let Bryce lead him down the corridor.

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James kissed Remus, moving his hand to cup the boy's face, "We're gonna be okay aren't we?" He asked quietly when he pulled away.

"'Course we are." Remus smiled, holding James tight, yes he was still angry at the boy but he loved him too much to throw away their relationship. They both looked up as Sirius walked in and sat on his bed, dumping his bag down on the floor. "What happened to your face?" Remus asked spotting the bruise forming on Sirius' jaw.

"Book fell on me in the library." Sirius lied, "Wasn't looking properly." Sirius was pretty well known for knocking books off the shelves and onto his head so the other two bought the lie easily.

"You should be more careful." Remus lectured, Sirius nodded, avoiding looking at his friend.

"So we going to put up the last bookshelf tomorrow?" James asked with a grin, flopping down onto Sirius' bed.

Sirius shook his head, "No point." He muttered, James raised a questioning eyebrow, "I've changed my mind, I can't do this, I'm not strong enough. I'm putting the baby up for adoption."

"What?!" Remus yelped, racing across the room, "You can't... I... What if..."

"If it's yours then you are welcome to keep it." Sirius said, his voice was blank.

James frowned and looked at his friend, "Why the sudden change?"

"I can't look after myself let alone a child. It's better off elsewhere." Sirius said, moving off the bed and stomping into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

Remus and James exchanged shocked looks, "What the hell was that about?" Remus asked eventually.

"You know, it kind of reminded me of when he was dating Bryce, how he'd always be quiet and then he'd be putting himself down all the time, saying he was worthless and stuff." James frowned.

Remus nodded, "Bryce kissed him yesterday and Sirius was all messed up about it. He still loves the bastard. I bet he told Bryce about the baby and Bryce told, ordered, him to get rid of it. Made Sirius think that he isn't capable of looking after a baby."

James groaned, "Perhaps we should have a word with the fucker." He growled.

"Sirius would never forgive us." Remus pointed out, "No... We should just mention to Andromeda that Sirius is considering adoption, she'll be able to talk to him." Remus said, hoping that he was right and that Andromeda would be able to stop Sirius doing something he would regret.

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Sirius looked at himself in the mirror and ran a hand through his hair before he began to sob. Bryce was right, he couldn't look after this baby, the best thing to do was to just give it up for adoption and forget about the whole thing, then he and Bryce could be happy together. He reached up to touch his jaw, wincing at the pain he felt, for a brief second Sirius couldn't help but wonder how Bryce could truly love him if he punched him but quickly shook it off. It was Sirius' own fault, he'd wound Bryce up, he should have known better than to argue. Tears streaked down Sirius' cheeks as he moved his hands to stroke at his stomach and the small bump there, he'd really thought he could do this, look after a baby... What the hell had he been thinking?! He would only screw up the baby's life... No, the baby was better off with someone who could actually take care of it. Someone who wasn't Sirius. Sirius stripped off his clothes and turned the shower on, mentally making a list of everything he would have to do in the next few months including contacting an adoption agency and selling the house he'd bought. He rested his head against the cold tile wall, aware that his skin was slowly becoming more and more wrinkled but not wanting to get out of the shower and have to face Remus and James and their stupid questions just yet. After a while he looked up at the clock on the bathroom wall and winced, he'd been in the shower for nearly two hours, he got out and wrapped a towel around his waist before brushing his teeth quickly. Sirius slowly made his way over to the door and pushed it open quietly, he was surprised that Remus and James were nowhere to be seen but gave a sigh of relief that he wouldn't have to face them just yet. He quickly got changed into his pyjamas before crawling into bed, stroking his stomach as he fell into a fitful sleep.

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A/N: Abuse of any sort is wrong. Abuse can harm you physically and emotionally as well as leave you feeling isolated and lonely. If you live in the UK and want more information on abuse in teenage relationship check out h t t p : // thisisabuse. direct. gov. uk/ (without the gaps)

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Let me know what you think of the chapter :)

I promise it will get happier eventually! Promise.