11. Peanut butter and jelly time

"Sirius!" James cried, coming up behind the boy and causing him to jump in surprise.

"Merlin, Prongs," he complained, wincing and rubbing his ear, "did you turn into a bird overnight? The pitch of your voice is wreaking havoc on my hearing."

James scowled and his fist connected with Sirius' arm. "I'm not a girl," he objected.

"Could have fooled me," Sirius snorted.

"Shut it, you tosser," snapped James. "I've got something to show you. My cousin went to America and brought something back for me."

Sirius' eyes lit up in wicked delight. "Really?" he asked, eying his friend in search of the promised 'something'. "What is it, then?"

James reached into his robe pocket and pulled out a plastic jar covered in multicoloured paper. It was labeled as something called 'Jif' which Sirius thought was a rather odd name.

"Er…what is it?" he asked in confusion.

James studied the jar. "It's something called peanut butter," he answered.

"How can a peanut be butter?" Sirius questioned. "And what d'you do with it?"

James shrugged. "Dunno, really, but you eat it."

Sirius snorted in amusement. "Your cousin travelled all the way to another country and brought back food?"

"He's a rather boring bloke, in all honesty," James replied thoughtfully. "Comes from Mum's side of the family. But listen, Sirius, this stuff is brilliant. You have to try it!"

Sirius studied the creamy brown goo in distaste as James unscrewed the lid and offered it to him. He stuck a tentative finger to the inside of the rim and then lifted it to his mouth, allowing his tongue to flick out experimentally to taste it. His eyes widened in surprise.

"That's – that's," he stuttered, unable to find the words.

"Peanut butter?" James offered, grinning madly.

"Yeah," Sirius breathed. "Cor, that's bloody delicious!"

"Told you," James said smugly. "My cousin said there were loads of different things you could combine it with…"

Sirius reached over and grabbed James' arm. "Let's go!" he cried, pulling the other boy in the direction of the kitchens.


Remus was lounging on his bed in the seventh year boys' dormitory, relaxing and enjoying the peace and quiet when the door was suddenly flung open and crashed loudly against the wall. Remus sighed, wondering why he was so surprised that it hadn't lasted.

Sirius bounded over to him excitedly and demanded, "Open your mouth."

Remus' eyebrows rose. "I'm sorry?" he asked bemusedly.

Sirius rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers impatiently. "Open. Mouth. Now."

He was supposed to be smart, Remus mused to himself. He truly was. So why was it that he saw no sign of such a thing when he unwittingly did exactly what the other boy said?

Sirius shoved something cold, metal, and slimy inside Remus' open mouth and tapped his nose to make him close it again. Remus hesitantly moved his tongue around, attempting to figure out if Sirius had poisoned him or not.

He discovered quickly that the metal was actually a spoon, which Sirius promptly removed when he felt Remus' tongue move. He explored what the utensil had left behind and found a nutty, salty, and slightly bittersweet flavour.

Remus swallowed and looked up at a grinning Sirius in surprise. "What was that?" he asked as his tongue travelled over his teeth, searching for any lingering flavour.

"Peanut butter and jelly," Sirius replied, plopping down on the bed in front of Remus. "Good, yeah?"

"Very," Remus agreed.

Sirius' grin grew as he reached his hand back to grab Remus' head and pulled him forward.

"Now," he said, leaning in, "peanut butter and jelly time." His lips touched Remus' and his tongue worked into the werewolf's mouth, searching and savouring every last discovery. He pulled back after a long moment and smacked his lips. "Yummy. I can't get enough."

Remus eyed him. "Would that be me or the peanut butter?"

Sirius smirked and leaned forward again, pulling Remus back in for another kiss.