"Has you seen Aigis?" Fuuka asked me when I had came in from a late movie.

"Not since school.."

Fuuka looked worried, then she went up stairs. I mean I saw Aigis rush off after school but I really didn't think anything of it.. I assumed that she was coming home. What the heck is she even up to?

I didn't start to worry until it became time for the Dark Hour... We had Fuuka use Juno to try to find her.. at first she didn't have luck with the search, but luckily she was finally able to pinpoint Aigis's location.

Looks like we were going back to the Moonlight Bridge...

When we arrived.. the bridge looked to have been affected by battle.. and when we found Aigis.. she was heavily damaged and immobilized.

"I.. know why I wanted to be with you... and I have failed... I am sorry."

"What happened here Aigis." I reach out and touch her hand, despite the occasion electrical discharges coming off her body.

"I am sorry..." she repeats.

"There is no need for you to apologize.." A familiar voice from behind us states. It's... Mochizuki.. he's active during the dark hour?

"Ryoji..?" Junpei questions. At that moment Aigis makes a low whirring noise.. then goes off line.

"It's all my fault.." Ryoji continues.

Mitsuru questions him and .. and he tells us he is actually a shadow.. He goes on to tell us that he was born to be the 'appraiser' for some powerful being... He was brought into this world after a man... Mitsuru's grandfather lost control of all those shadows they had in that lab that fateful night ten years ago. He told us that he and Aigis waged battle on this very bridge all those years ago.. a battle that Aigis knew she could not win.. so as a last ditch effort.. she used the last of her power to seal the appraiser into a little girl that happened to be standing near by...a little girl who was wounded and dazed from a car accident... A little girl that moved back to this area ten years later...

He... Ryoji was sealed inside of me.. and would often appear to me as Pharos... the nightmares I've had about this bridge..

Ryoji lost conscious while he was still speaking... I.. I think I might faint too..

During school the next day.. I found it difficult to focus.. I just wanted to go back to the dorm and have him tell me everything... but Mitsuru had us all go to school anyways. As soon as the bell rung Mitsuru was already at our classroom, telling us that he was awake and ready to talk...

That evening on the fourth floor of our dorm.. we learned the terrifying truth of the dark hour, shadows, the fall.. and Nyx the powerful being... Once she is awakened darkness will cover the world and all life will perish..We would all become the lost.

Yukari asked him, could this be prevented, was there a way we could stop this from happening.. Ryoji lowered his head.. and apologized to us all once more.

Akihiko senpai asked how long did we have. Ryoji told us that we would not survive to see spring... It's already winter. I'm so scared...

Ryoji explained that he was born from shadows.. but since he grew from within me.. he developed a human form.. personality... a heart..

Because of his compassion.. he offered us all an ultimatum.. He couldn't stop the coming of Nyx.. but if we killed him our memories of the dark hour and everything involving fade with him... He gave us the option of being blissfully unaware that the end of the world was coming. If we didn't kill him everyday we would live with the crippling fear of our unavoidable demise.

"You don't have to decide now... I will be back on New Year's Eve to hear your decision." With that he walked out the door and disappeared...

"Why is this happening?" I hear Ken ask.. Why is this happening? I get up from my seat and walk out the room without saying anything to anyone... I don't mean to be rude... but I.. I just don't know how to handle this. I walk into the fourth floor washroom and in seconds I am vomiting violently into the commode. I..I don't know what to do!. I expelled until there was nothing left in my stomach I just leaned on the wall trying to make since of all of this.. How the hell am I supposed to chose how we will all die?

There is a knock on the restroom door.. and before I could even croak out some sort of response Junpei walks in. He sets a bottle of water down at my feet and sighs..

"We are all scared.." He sounds like he's been crying. He lingers for a moment then walks out the door.

Jun...

He is right... we are all in this together... and I am in the washroom.. retching in fear. I should be down there.. comforting.. or at least trying to understand with the rest of them... they are not just SEES, my teammates... they are my friends. I have to pull myself together so I will not fall apart. Because these people are my family... I can't just turn a blind eye to their pain... nor will I erase the memories of this whole year with them... because if you think about it.. without the memories of the Dark Hour and everything that goes with it.. the memories of the unbreakable ties will be lost...

Even with fear of death, I cannot, will not allow those memories to be tampered with... I have been in life or death situations before... I have been in hopeless situations before... how is this any different? I pull myself to my feet. I am not going to lay down and die.. I am not going to sign my life or my precious memories away.. I am going to do what I have been doing since I moved back here.. I am going to fight, or die trying.

For the rest of that week, everyone seemed to be in shock.. we all went to school and went through the motions for the most part it was like we had all became the lost early. I couldn't have this. I promised myself that I would be there for them, all of them... and that was what I intended on doing.

Over the course of a couple of days, I found myself spending more time with everyone individually .. not even .. to like you' know.. make peace with anyone.. but to be there. After the initial shock of the revelation wore off.. everyone was like their old selves.. just more subdued.

Everyone's answer to whether we would fight Nyx or not, was the same... the same as mine. They would rather go down fighting.

It made me feel good that everyone was starting to lift their heads up again. In the lounge the other day Mitsuru and Akihiko were finishing up college entrant forms, and studying for the entrance exams. I overhear Fuuka and Yukari talking about where they hoped to go for next year's school trip... We were all scared.. but we were making the best out of it.

Santa day was right around the corner. I would hear girls in my class hoping that their boyfriends would take them somewhere special.. they are so lucky.

I guess I could do something in the dorm.. have a little party... I'm sure Mitsuru and Akihiko will go out... hmm. Or.. I could invite Junpei out.. maybe we could go get ramen like old times and then go manga shopping... but.. Santa day is one of the biggest date days of the year.. I won't want him to misunderstand my request..

Now I am conflicted. Should I ask him out on that day?

On Christmas Eve I am still going back and forward with myself over this. After school, I approach him with a smile on my face and my heart beating a million times a second. ...Why.. am I acting like this.. it's not like we haven't hung out before... what is it about this day?

"Oh hey Mina-chan, what's up." He asks me and before I could ask him or even respond to his simple question a group of loud, rowdy burst into the class room.

"Junpei! there you are!"

"We're all going to mall!"

"Mandragora is having a half off special!"

"Then we are going over to Kenji's house."

Junpei looked excited them looked back at me to see what I was going to say.

"Oho..oh.. It's nothing.. I just wanted to wish you a happy Christmas. Have fun.."

"Happy Christmas to you too Mina-tan... I.."

"Come ooon Junpei, we have to go before it gets to crowed!"

"Alright! I'm coming! Catch you back at the dorms.."

And he left. I guess that is what I get for waiting so long like that. I am disappointed but... I'll be okay..

When I got home Yukari and Fuuka were sitting on the couch both of them looking kinda gloomy. They looked how I felt. Yukari spoke when she saw me.

"Mitsuru and Akihiko went on a date, since Junpei isn't with you I'm assuming he went out with other friends... Even Ken is out..."

The three of us sighed audibly. Well it looks like we were going to celebrate by having a pity party. It looked like it was going to be an evening full of sighing and pouting until Fuuka brought up that she had cake. I almost visibly flinched until she corrected herself and said she bought a cake.

"That's awesome Fuuka, I bought one too!" Yukari beamed.

"Oh no.. I didn't think of getting a one... I'll go in the kitchen and see if I can whip something up." I had just stocked the kitchen so there should be something in there I can make quickly.

"I'll go get some music." Yukari headed upstairs. It looks like I was going to have party after all!

After hours of bad singing and way to many sweets, the three of us enjoyed Christmas Eve without a care in the world, We talked about school, boys and our classmates, like normal girls...

Those two crashed out early and that left me alone with the two sleeping beauties, I crept out of Yukari's room and went downstairs for a glass of water before bed.

Junpei was in the kitchen having a midnight snack.

"Did you have fun tonight?"

"Yea.. I did."

"Yukari, Fuuka and I had a little party."

"Is that why it looks like a bakery in here?" I guess I did make a little bit of a mess when I tried to make an impromptu cake and sweet fries.

"We saved some cake for you and Ken." He quickly searched for the treat and when he located it he headed out of the kitchen.

"This was just want I needed!"

We sat on the couch and I listened to his exploits of the evening, watching him eat the confection... hanging on his every word even if he sometimes talks with his mouth full... He's got some frosting on the side of his lip..

"Jun.." I motion towards my mouth. "You.. have a little.."

He wipes his face haphazardly, completely missing the mess.. "Did I get it?"

"No... it's right there." He misses again! "Here.. I'll get it."

I drag my thumb below his bottom lip, removing the sweet frosting. I catch myself.. looking at him like that again... and … he notices it too..

"Minako..."

"Jun... I"

A few weeks ago I asked myself 'What kind of person am I?' I have finally found my answer I am a person who is in love... but afraid.

Afraid of tarnishing my relationship with Shinjiro...

Afraid of disrespecting his feelings for Chidori

Afraid of... hurting Junpei and actually ruining our already damaged friendship...

"...I'm sleepy... I have to get to bed." I quickly got up from the couch and rushed back upstairs. Why do I keep doing this to myself?


A/N

Final part next..