Author's note #1: Hi All! So, I never post ANs at the beginning of a chapter, but I felt the need for this one for courtesy's sake. Something rather sensitive is going to be discussed here, so if as you're reading you feel a little unnerved by it, do feel free to skim/skip over it. It can still be inferred from context. Thanks :)


Hermione's talk with her mother did not help in the way that she thought it would. In fact, it made her even more confused than she already was. She couldn't get her mother's question out of her mind and all last night she kept trying to answer it. What would happen, really? What if she and Draco weren't a lost cause and Dr. Milligan could get them stable enough to try again? Would she want to?

No, no, you shouldn't be asking yourself that! You're engaged. You're getting married in four months. It shouldn't matter. It doesn't matter. It can't matter. It just-

"Hermione, you're burning breakfast."

"What? Oh!"

Ron watched as Hermione quickly moved the frying pan away from the flame and turned off the stove. The smell of burnt eggs was finally hitting her nose and she couldn't believe that she had been so deep in her thoughts to have caused such an un-delicious damage.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just a bit tired is all."

"If you want, I can finish breakfast so you can get a bit more shut eye before work."

Hermione chuckled as she threw out the eggs and grabbed fresh ones. "As much as I'd love that Ron, I trust myself much more in kitchen than I do you."

Ron faked hurt, but then was all smiles as his fiancée set to work again. He took his customary seat and then got up when the mail owl came through the window. Of course, like usual as of late mostly everything was for her. The Daily Prophet was his, so he grabbed that one immediately. Out of everything else that was there, there was a letter that was addressed to both her and him. As he picked it up, he recognized that it was from the Ministry. A closer look told him that it came from the Marriage Registration Department. He furrowed his brow, wondering what they could be contacting him and Hermione about.

Ron opened the letter. It was short, but its words had built up enough confusion within him to force him to get up from his seat and walk over to his fiancée.

"Hermione,"

"Hmm?"

"Why did we get a letter from the Marriage Registration Department saying that our marriage license application is set to expire next month?"

Hermione's panic levels rose to dangerous heights. She was still standing at the stove, her back to him, and she took this moment to swallow, close her eyes, and take a deep breath. Time was winding down. She knew this. She had only hoped she could've gotten this whole Draco situation finished without having to get Ron involved. Now it was too late.

With the stove turned off, Hermione turned to him and held nothing back. "It's set to expire because I never picked it up."

Ron's jaw dropped. "What do you mean? But you said-"

"I lied because I wanted to spare you this…horrible situation I'm in. It… It has to deal with Draco."

Ron's mouth snapped shut then as his eyes narrowed to slits. "What about him?"

Hermione was wringing her hands by now, but she wouldn't cast her eyes to the ground. That would make her look guilty for something that was completely out of her control. She sighed. "They couldn't process our marriage license because I'm still legally married to him."

"But that's not possible! You processed a divorce! I went with you to drop off the signed papers and everything!"

"We thought we did, but apparently there'd been a clerical error all those years ago. Draco and I have to sign another set of divorce papers and I've been trying, Ron." Hermione pleaded with him, although she wouldn't dare tell him how she'd been trying. "I really have been. I know I should've told you from day one, but I just really wanted to get this straightened out without having you to worry about him. But Draco's being…"

Ron's ears tinged as he listened to her speak, his attention wavering. Truth be told, he was angrier at the blonde nuisance –although he had no right to be –more than he was at Hermione, but he wasn't totally unreasonable. His fiancée had lied, and lied to his face. And with a quick calculation, he realized that it'd been five months since his and her marriage license was supposed to be picked up. That in itself was…odd.

"Why is it taking so long?" Ron interrupted her speech. Hermione paused, her brows scrunched together.

"What?"

"It takes two seconds to jot down a signature." He continued. "It's been months. Answer me, Hermione."

Hermione suddenly felt a wave of familiar scrutiny overcome her. Ron looked and sounded exactly like her mother did last night. She knew that his insinuation was a natural reaction to have, but even then, her skin flushed terribly as her own eyes narrowed just as his had.

"What are you saying?"

"What are you not saying?"

The sessions. We've been having marriage counseling sessions…

"Draco's being Draco, Ron." Hermione said to him, her conscience slowly ebbing away at her. "He won't sign them. He's being a complete and total arse, and this whole situation, that should've been taken care of in one day, hasn't been. You know him."

Ron snarled. "Yeah, I know him. And he's going to sign those divorce papers today."

Ron stomped away from her and towards the bedroom. Hermione's eyes nearly popped out of her skull when he came back, fully dressed, with his wand in hand. "Ron! Ron, what do you think you're doing?!"

"The git's going to sign those papers even if I have to Imperius him to do it."

"Ron, no! You can't do that!"

Ron halted his steps and whipped himself around. "What do you mean I can't?"

"I mean that I'm forbidding you from going anywhere near him." Hermione said sternly. She let out a haggard breath and ran her hands through her hair. "For Merlin's sake, think logically about this. If he won't sign for me, what makes you think that he'd do it for you?"

"That's why I have this." Ron said with an evil smile and glint in his eye as he dangled his wand in front of her face. Hermione frowned.

"Ron, I'm serious."

"So am I."

"Ron-"

"Why are you defending him?"

"I'm not!" Hermione said with a frustrated groan. "Just trust me when I say that I'm wearing him down, alright? Draco's stubborn. We know this. But I know how to handle him better than you do."

Ron scoffed. "For someone who knows him better than I do, this shouldn't have taken five months."

Hermione kept her scowl on the inside. Instead she nodded compliantly. "I agree, but the last thing we need is for you to go over there, confront him, and land yourself in Azkaban for kicking his arse."

Despite being angry, Ron let a small smirk come to his lips. "I'm an Auror. I'm sure I could get off."

Hermione shook her head at him and chuckled. His dry and grim sense of humor was a good sign that she was getting through to him. She took this chance to take his hands in hers and hold them tight.

"I really am sorry, Ron. I wanted to avoid, well, a situation like this." Hermione gestured to the wand jetting out from between his and her clasped hands. "I didn't think he'd be this much of a prat about it. The papers will be signed."

Ron sighed. "The wedding's in June, Hermione."

"I know."

"That's four months away."

"It'll be signed long before then."

Ron looked down at their hands and nodded. She could feel him wanting to let them go, but he didn't. Not before he stared into her eyes with a firm, unwavering expression.

"I hope so."


A disastrous Monday. An alright Tuesday, considering Dr. Milligan had to cancel a session. A moody Wednesday. And now, a shrug-worthy Thursday as Hermione sat at a booth at Eileen's Tea and Pastries. Since her and Ron's "loud" discussion of their marriage license, every day he looked at her expectantly –as though waiting for her to display the license they were supposed to have gotten months ago. She knew that as each day passed without it, Ron grew sadder as well as suspicious. It was eating at Hermione viciously.

Sighing, she took a bite out of her scone and washed it down with a touch of her drink. She'd only been sitting in Eileen's for about twenty minutes, but since that time the small restaurant had become ridiculously crowded. And yet, despite the people, despite the noise, despite the utter chaos, Draco had managed to find her.

The blonde strolled up to the side of her table, but didn't sit down. He merely looked at her, at her meal, and then brought his gaze to her face again. "What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"Well, aside from the fact that I know you as well as I know myself, you're eating your 'unhappy lunch.'"

Hermione looked down at her food. She had ordered a chocolate, chocolate-drizzled scone, a chocolate flake milkshake, and a chocolate chip muffin. She hadn't even realized what she'd done until Draco had mentioned it. She must've been more out of it than she thought.

"…Ron found out about our non-processed divorce on Monday. It goes without saying that he's not happy about it."

Draco's mouth formed a small "O." His wife's disposition certainly made sense now –her frown, the prominent worry lines on her forehead, as well as her slumped shoulders. He frowned. This wasn't what he wanted. Honestly, he didn't think the counseling sessions would last this long as he'd thought that she would come to her senses much sooner. It was February now.

Draco sighed and sat down opposite her. She didn't scowl at him or try to stop him. That was proof enough that she was feeling miserable. Above anything else he wanted Hermione to be happy. It was all he ever wanted. It was what prompted him to say this next bit, despite not wanting to.

"Dr. Milligan has our next few sessions planned out. He told me so that day you didn't show. They're supposed to end next month, on the third, and then we're supposed to take a couple days –to think about what was said –and decide if we want to continue. So, that's the day. Tell Weasley that the divorce papers will be signed by the third."

"He'll ask why they can't be signed earlier."

Draco shrugged. "Tell him I'm on vacation."

"And why couldn't you have signed them before you went on 'vacation?'"

He smirked. "I'm a prat. It's perfectly in my character to do such a thing."

Hermione rolled her eyes. She smiled although she didn't want to, but at least it was progress. Ron will be happy to hear it, and maybe then he could stop killing her with silent grief. She and Draco sat together in silence for a bit –it being broken when a waitress asked him if he wanted anything. He asked for a blueberry muffin and some tea before turning his attention back to Hermione.

"My mum knows everything by the way."

Draco cocked a brow. "Everything?"

"Everything,"

He was feeling uncomfortable now. He couldn't fathom why Hermione would tell her mother about what was going on between them, and he hated the fact that she had. The elder Granger probably despised him for it, and now he felt just as terrible as Hermione did.

"She sends her love."

He blinked. "She does? Are you sure you told her everything?"

Hermione nodded. "I did. And she wanted me to tell you anyway." She sighed then before adding, "You can…write her, if you like."

"Really?"

"Really. My mother's always liked talking to you, so, go ahead. It's…it's fine."

"O…okay. But, Hermione," Draco swallowed. "Why would you tell your mother about-?"

"It's complicated." She cut him off. Draco opened his mouth to press further, but the harsh look she gave him put an end to that. Despite loving to pick a fight, this was the one time that he chose to concede.


"So, our last session got a little…heated." Dr. Milligan began. He could sense the tension between his clients and fully anticipated another screaming match. "I wanted to pick up where we left off with you, Hermione."

Her eyes widened. "Me?"

"Yes. We've pretty much discovered what –or who, rather –Draco felt contributed most to your divorce. I'd like to focus on you for a bit, if you don't mind?"

Hermione did in fact mind. She minded a lot. There were many things that she could talk about concerning Draco and their marriage, but how it ended? How it ended was more than a sore spot for her. It was a deep wound that was incapable of healing.

"You mentioned that 'insecurities' are what contributed most. You also mentioned that when Draco said he didn't want to have children with you, that it told you he didn't think your relationship would last. Would you mind elaborating on one or both of these?"

"They're both a bit one in the same." Hermione said, adding a nervous chuckle at the end. She could feel Draco's penetrating stare, but she wouldn't dare look at him. Not now. Not while they were talking about this.

"How so?"

"Well, if you want to believe what a surprising chunk of the population did at the time, Draco and I…" How do I say this in muggle terms? "Draco came from a 'higher' social status than I did. Naturally, so did his family and friends and they certainly didn't approve."

"And I didn't care that they hadn't." Draco inputted, and Hermione rounded on him instantly.

"You didn't care? You didn't care? Oh, how quickly we forget when we talked about starting a family." She spat at him, her eyes flashing dangerously. "What were your words again? Ah yes, I remember. 'I'd rather not have children with you than to live with the scrutiny of everyone in our lives at the combination of two incompatible social status-holders."

Those hadn't been his exact words, of course, but for Dr. Milligan's sake, that's what she'd amended. What Draco had really (and crudely) said was that he'd rather not have children with her than to live with the scrutiny of everyone in their lives at their half-breed. It had struck the deepest nerve back then, and remembering it now was striking it even harder than it had the first time.

"How could you have said that?" Hermione demanded, but effectively cutting him off before he could even respond. "And if you felt that way about our future children, how could I not think about us? If that's how you felt about someone who didn't exist, how did you really feel about me? About being with me-?"

"Stop." Draco said sternly. He turned to her, his face solid as he began shaking his head. "Don't. I don't want to hear you say that. I mean, seriously, Hermione? How could you ever doubt that I loved you?"

"In that moment? Oh, it was very easy. And don't even talk about the ensuing six months." She laughed then, sadness evident in her voice. "That practically demolished every sincere thought I ever believed you had for me and vice versa." Hermione addressed Dr. Milligan then. For him to call the emotion that was brewing behind her eyes as "pain" would've been a gross understatement. "I thought I was going to lose my voice, we'd been yelling at each other so much. It was surprising then, the night we signed our divorce papers, how quiet it had been. So…so calm. It was scary, to be honest.

'As I was signing I began to think, to wonder that if the quiet could come back then…maybe the peace we had? But as quickly as I thought it, it was gone just as fast. Right then and there, I hated him. I wanted nothing to do with him and there was nothing to keep me there –especially since I'd lost the-"

Hermione paused. She looked positively mortified at what she was about to say. She looked to Draco who was staring at her with an inquisitive eye. Dr. Milligan was also giving her a curious gaze, and despite her obvious reluctance, he dared to press the issue.

"Lost the what, Hermione?"

She swallowed deeply, casting her attention towards her lap. "…The baby. Since I'd lost the baby."

Draco could've dropped dead right at that moment. He didn't hear her correctly, did he? Surely he hadn't. He couldn't have.

"You were pregnant?"

Hermione stared at him with watery eyes. "There was a reason I was so baby crazy, Draco, and it wasn't because of Ginny. After you'd made it perfectly clear that you thought having kids with me was a bad -no, a horrible idea, I was too afraid to tell you.

'And then a week after I found out I was pregnant, I'd lost it. I…woke up to the most excruciating pain. You were nowhere in sight so I went to St. Mungo's myself. Spent a few hours there, came home, and locked myself in our bedroom for two days straight."

Draco remembered those two days. They had fought the night before that and the entire week for that matter. It had been talk of nothing but children. Hermione trying to tell him, trying to persuade him that having kids wouldn't have been the end of the world, but he had shot her down at every turn. Viciously, he might add. The fighting stopped when she had locked herself in their bedroom and he'd found it odd that that's what she had chosen to do. Hermione wasn't that kind of fighter. If she was going to ignore him, she was going to do it to his face, however paradoxical that may have sounded. But now that he knew the true reason, now that he knew that it was because she'd lost their first child…

"It was my fault." Draco said suddenly. His skin was ashen and lifeless and he felt like the entire world had just crumbled around him. "All the fighting, all the stress… It was my-"

"It wasn't your fault."

"You don't know that!"

"It doesn't matter! The baby's gone and it's been gone for a long time!" Hermione shouted at him, but she wasn't angry. Her eyes were small, they were wet, and her entire frame was shaking. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Hermione bolted from her seat and stormed out of Dr. Milligan's office. Draco wasted no time in running after her, spying her fleeing form opting for the stairs. He quickened his pace, roughly pushing open the door and catching a glimpse of her as she went down the next set of stairs.

"Hermione!" Draco called after her as he took the stairs two, sometimes three at a time. Despite how fast he was going he only ever saw parts of her –her flying hair, her trembling hands, her heavy breaths… Draco reached the ground floor just as she flew out of the door. "Hermione!"

It was raining heavily and drenched the sobbing brunette as she ran. Despite the storm, Hermione kept going. She had to keep moving. If she couldn't make it to the apparation spot then she'd flag down the first taxi she found. She couldn't face Draco right now. She just couldn't do it. Why didn't he understand that? Why did he keep running after her? And why, now that he'd finally caught up to her, did he hold onto her wrist and pull her thrashing body towards him?

"Draco, leave me alo-!"

Her words were muffled by Draco's chest as well a loud clap of thunder. He pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her tightly. Hermione tried to fight against him, tried to push him away, but the harder she fought, the more he held on. He held on long enough for her to finally stop struggling and to just let it out. And boy did she ever… She cried harder than he'd ever seen her and Draco simply stood there, holding her close, whispering how sorry he was into her ear, and listening to her sob even more ferociously every time he did.


Author's note #2: Writing this last scene was...a piece of work. It was the second hardest one I had to write, possibly tying for first. I had to get it right, and I hope that I did, because I really wanted you to see what Hermione had been feeling at the time, not to mention the fact that it still hurts. As I mentioned to a couple reviewers, I had wanted to post this chapter (as well as chapter 10, but this more so) for a really long time. You see so much of how Draco's feeling concerning their divorce, but not very very much of Hermione. This was it. And I don't know about you, but in my opinion, I think Hermione's been hurt the most.

Thanks for reading everyone :)

-WP