Scene: Lab. Barry and Curtis are working. Ethan comes in.

Ethan: "Curtis, Megan wants this gun processed for trace right away."

Curtis: "All right. Barry could you keep an eye on this DNA processing for me?"

Barry: "Sure. The data recovery I am running here will take at least another couple of hours. We need criminals with better computers."

Ethan: "Well, I've got to go. Megan and Kate are looking for me, and I don't think they are very happy."

Curtis: "You're right. Here they come now, and I've seen sunnier looks on Storm Chasers."

Ethan: "Uh, oh. What am I going to do? Hide me!"

Curtis: "What kind of flowers would you like us to send for the funeral?"

Ethan: "They're almost here!"

Barry: "Quick. Lie down on the floor! Pretend you're dead!"

(Ethan does so. Kate and Megan enter.)

Megan: "What are you guys doing in here? Why is Ethan on the floor?"

Barry (dramatically): "Major Strasser has been shot! (pause) Round up the usual suspects."

(he starts motioning with his eyes and head toward Curtis, who is holding a gun.)

Curtis: "Why are you all looking at me? (realizes) Ethan gave me this gun. Nobody's fired it in here."

Barry: "I thought if Ethan were already dead, maybe you wouldn't kill him."

Megan (loudly and insistently): "Ethan, get up. Why do you listen to this guy? Quit screwing around in the lab and get some work done."

Kate: "Dr. Murphy, I believe I am still the chief medical examiner. I run this department. If a reprimand needs to be given, I will give it."

Megan: "Sorry."

Kate (sternly, but less shrill than Megan): "Ethan, get up. Quit screwing around and get some of those reports finished. I've got court dates coming up."

Ethan (getting up): "Yes, ma'am."

Kate: "And I strongly suggest you give a matter more careful consideration before you follow any suggestions from Mr. Gray."

Ethan: "Yes, ma'am."

Kate: "Mr. Gray, please try to be less of a corrupting influence on the rest of the staff. Or I will no longer restrain Dr. Murphy from using her scalpel on you. Obey me. Resistance is futile."

Barry: "Understood."

Megan: "Well handled, Dr. Murphy."

Kate: "Thank you, Dr. Hunt."

Megan: "New Guy! Since you seem to need something to occupy your time, you can take me to our latest scene. Parking lot, five minutes, you're driving."

(the two women exit)

Curtis: "Those two are suddenly getting along way too well. This is going to be bad for us."

Barry: "Why would that be bad for us?"

Curtis: "Because change is bad for us. Something changes, it's always bad for us."

Barry: "I guess I'd better grab a kit and head for the parking lot. Curtis, you'll have to finish the DNA sample yourself."

Curtis: "I've got it."

(Barry leaves)

(cut to Barry and Megan leaving the scene. Main plot to be dealt with, just not appearing here.)

Megan: "Can we pick up my daughter again?"

Barry: "I thought you considered me an unsafe driver and a bad influence."

Megan: "I had Peter run your driving record. Spotless for at least 20 years."

Barry: "The trick is to drive clunkers that can't actually go fast enough to get a ticket."

Megan: "Did I see this van on an after-school special my daughter was watching?"

Barry: "Would you like some candy, little girl?"

(cut to picking up Lacey, she gets in)

Barry: "Hi, Lacey. Where's Cagney?"

Lacey: "Huh? Hi, New Guy. Hi, Mom."

Megan: "Hi, Lace. How was school?"

Lacey: "Fine. Can I ask advice again, New Guy?"

Barry: "Sure. It horrifies your mother, but the two of us can have fun."

Lacey: "We have a lot of disagreements lately about clothes."

Barry: "Sure you want my opinion on fashion?"

Lacey: "Why not?"

Megan: "Because he dresses like a refugee from Planet Nerd. Where did you get that shirt?"

(Barry is wearing khaki slacks, polo shirt, sneakers. Pretty close to what you might see at a major retail outlet, depending on the color shirt.)

Barry: "The hardware store."

Megan (appalled): "You buy your clothes at the hardware store?"

Barry: "Yeah. This shirt was $1.99. Of course, sometimes I go to computer shows and get free T-shirts, but I don't usually wear those to work. I have standards. Kind of."

Megan: "And where did you get those shoes?"

Barry: "Clearance rack at Wal-mart. Five bucks. I bought three pair."

Megan: "Lace, he probably hasn't spent $100 on clothes all year. Much as I hate to bring it up, I think we would do better discussing this with your grandmother."

Lacey: "Let's see what he has to say first."

Barry: "So you're asking the guy with the $20 wardrobe for advice?"

Lacey: "Maybe."

Barry: "Here is the plan my wife came up with: When the kids got to about your age, we raised their allowance and told them to buy their own clothes. Boys tended to blow it all on video games, then steal T-shirts from my closet. My daughter would spend half on make-up, then borrow clothes from her mother. At least it made all of them grateful when they got clothes at Christmas."

Lacey: "Mom? What do you think of that?"

Megan: "That could work. Except for the borrowing part. We could set a budget for you, and let it be mostly up to you how to spend it."

Lacey: "Yay!"

Barry: "And Lace, your budget probably won't cover Prada. Try the consignment places."

Lacey: "Mom?"

Megan: "I think we could spend some mother-daughter time at the consignment stores. Shop till we drop."

Barry: "If it's all the same to you, I'll stay home with my Sports Center."

Megan: "Men have no taste."

Barry: "Oh, yeah? Megan, have you dated men or women?"

Megan: "Well, men, of course."

Barry: "And men are pigs."

Megan: "Usually. Present company definitely included."

Barry: "On the other hand, the people I have dated have all been women. On the basis of the people we choose to go out with, whom would you say has better taste?"

Megan: "There has to be a good answer to that."

Lacey (laughing): "I think he got you that time, Mom."

Megan: "Go to your riding lesson, Lace. We'll talk about a clothes budget tonight."

(she gets out of the car)

Megan (to Barry): "Take me back to the office. I need to figure out the flaw in your reasoning."

Barry: "No flaw. Women are better looking, better-mannered, and generally more refined than men. Ergo, I have better taste in dating partners than you. I'm a regular Charlie the Tuna."

Megan: "Charlie the Tuna?"

Barry: "TV ads from my youth. Sorry, Charlie, Starkist doesn't want tuna with good taste, they want tuna that tastes good."

Megan: "I wonder what it would be like to be a lesbian?"

Barry: "Call me when you need to open a jar."

Megan: "Wait! Here's my answer: I've never gone out with YOU. I do have some standards."

(end scene)