AN: I promised, didn't I? Bet you didn't expect it this early.

"Excuse me, what?" argued Vi, "I'm not a witness!"

"You are now!" clapped the White Rabbit Jinx, looking forward to her stalker's impending failure.

Knowing there was no use arguing with madness, Vi rose from her seat. Her hands (rather fingertips of her gauntlets unconsciously slipped into her pockets. As they fiddled around within them, she felt something…squishy. It was the other mushroom that the Masterpillar gave her during their encounter. If Vi remembered correctly, he said that they would cause her to grow should she ever have a reason to do so…

The Enforcer swiftly popped the entire mushroom in her mouth. The Red King Teemo seemed to be the only one who saw her. He tilted his head at her.

"…breath mint," lied Vi.

"Oh," realized the King, "May I have some?"

"No, you may not." The Teemo King slunk into his seat.

"Ok…"

Vi was at the sand when she chewed and swallowed the edible. It seemed that it would take a bit of a moment to take effect since she didn't feel any different. She glanced around the room at the expectant jury then the king and queen.

"So…" she began, "I'm supposed to persuade you all that this girl didn't steal the tarts…I'll get to that, but first, let me tell you a little bit about the day I have been having." Time to gush.

"See, I'm not from around here and for that I'm extremely grateful. I've seen the best and worst of this Wonderland. Oh sorry, did I say Wonderland? I meant to say freaking lunatic asylum nothing short of a hellhole." Everyone in the room cringed in a hurtful way.

"I came thinking I was doing the world, my world, good by chasing down and taking in a dangerous convict. But instead I've been chasing around someone's bitch."

"How dare-"

"Shut up and let me finish!" Vi yelled at the angered White Rabbit Jinx. Her voice was getting louder, not because she was letting it all out but because she was in fact starting to grow. The mushrooms have taken affect.

"And it just so happens that this bitch," Vi pointed at the rabbit girl, "Belongs to even a bigger bitch!" Her finger shifted over to the Red Queen Caitlyn.

"Why I ne-" the Queen was about to express her shock but was interrupted by her husband tugging violently on her dress. He was frantically pointing at Vi, taking note of her now rapid growth. The Queen's bravery shrunk and she held her husband closely like a squeezing pillow.

"I've been held hostage by two man children and forced to listen to their bedtime stories! I was almost burnt to death by a demigod wearing a fake mustache! I've grown and shrunk so much that the idea of putting my head into Baron Nashor's mouth actually appeals to me! I took advice from a hookah smoking caterpillar and a naked Yordle!"

"Hey, what's a Yordle?" the Red King Teemo whispered to his shivering wife.

"I…haven't the slightest idea…but it sounds Finnish," she whispered.

Vi had now grown so much that her head brushed up against the ceiling and her voice was akin to a jet engine taking off.

"But the worst thing to happen to me, by far, is meeting you, your majesty!" Vi continued with her rant, "You know, I was actually expecting a leader! Somewhere here there had to be a least one sane person who would peace keep the insanity! You don't peace keep it, you're the source of it! To say you disappointed me would be an understatement! You took my hope, crapped on it, wrapped it in foil, than forced me to wear it as a hat so I could always remember how much of a parasite you are!"

Gasps emitted all around the courtroom and possibly from the rest of Wonderland. No one ever dared to insult the Red Queen. Vi angrily smashed a fist against the courtroom floor, quaking the entire building. She basked in everyone's fear.

"Oh, don't be scared!" she raised her closed fist, "I'm not going to hurt you! I'm just…gonna smoosh you into putty…"

With no rhythm or reason, Vi suddenly began shrinking. Perhaps she had grown immune to the mushroom or that it was a really small dose, who could say? Neither she or the Red Queen noticed this at first, Vi was too caught up in her dominance display and the queen continued to squeeze her husband like a stress ball.

"Then, I'm going to chew you like gum!"

The queen opened one eye cautiously, she was greeted with a now smaller Vi (back at her original size) ranting and raving at the witness' stand. Her mouth slowly curled into a smile and she casually leaned over her stand to the still fuming Vi.

"Then, I'm going to stick you under a bench when I'm through…hey, how did you get so big…what?" Vi slowly looked around then at her body then swallowed, "Oh…no."

"Oh, no," mocked the Queen, "Please continue by all means, it's not like you're threatening the ruler of a other worldly dimension who can decide your fate as if it's in a child's grasp…except you are…and I can."

"Um…" stuttered Vi, "Did…I mention how awesome of a queen you are and no one else compares to your maleficence? Ah! Magnificence! Your magnificence! That's what I said! Magnificence! You know, because you're magnificent!" Vi gave a sheepish smile.

The Red Queen Caitlyn slowly raised her head, smug smile still plastered over her face. She tapped her fingers against the stand a couple times before screaming, you guessed it, to the heavens.

"Off with her head!"

Vi cried out as the jury of card guards withdrew their weapons and sprung from the stands towards her, intend on ending her life right there and now. She stood hopelessly and brazed for the epic amount of hurt coming her way… but it never did.

The Knave of Hearts Annie leaped from her chair threw her stuffed bear directly at them. Mid-air, the bear slowly began to morph into a beast of fire and rage (and mid lane cheese). The monster known as Tibbers stood before Vi, wildly failing his claws out in front of him, diverting the guards away.

Balls of fire formed in the Knave Annie's palms as she came to her living toy's side. She blasted away at the incoming attackers before urging Vi towards the courtroom's doors.

"We'll fend them off! You save yourself!" she cried.

Vi didn't have time to say thank you or offer her assistance. Before she knew it, she was roughly scooped up by Tibber's massive paw and thrown across the room. She flew over the stands and straight out the door (crashed through it rather). She struggled to stand again, the landing on the concrete path didn't do her any favors, then sprinted away into the gardens.

"Quickly!" roared the Red Queen, seeing red (Ha, see what I did there?), "After her! Off with her head! She mustn't be allowed to escape!" She reached out and grabbed her husband and the White Rabbit Jinx, dragging them along.

While a squad of guards fought with the Knave and Tibbers, the rest followed the queen out of the courtroom and after Vi, who was headed for the front yard.

The Enforcer suddenly remembered the hedge maze.

"I'll lose them in there!" she thought aloud and quickly headed through the arch into the labyrinth. The Red Queen and her posse still relentlessly pursued her. As Vi looked back they weren't in her sight, but they were coming close.

"Off with her head! Off with her head!" she heard the Queen yelling after her.

"Run, outsider, run!" taunted the White Rabbit Jinx. Ironic that she was now chasing her.

"I don't know what we're yelling about!" cried the Red King Teemo.

The cries of her pursuers further added to the vertigo that Vi was currently experiencing running through the maze of nothing but bland green hedges with no way to know where she was headed. Either she escapes with the little sanity she has left or she dies a madwoman.

Call it fate or pure bad luck, Vi rounded her last corner and came face to face with a dead end; a blank, brick wall. She pounded on it, tried climbing it…nothing.

"No! No! No! Please!" Vi put her face in her hands. Her heart constantly sunk as she heard the demented orders of the Red Queen growing louder, they would find her soon.

"No…" she half whimpered.

"No, what?" a calm voice smoothed over her shoulder. Vi's head slowly rose.

"Yi…Masterpillar?" she recognized it.

Upon her shoulder, wasn't perched a caterpillar, but a butterfly. One with wings of silver and yellow, a multi-lensed helmet on his head, and a narrow beard on his chin.

"Masterpillar?" Vi asked again.

"No longer a larva anymore," the Master Yi insect smiled, "I have trend on greater heights with the winds of change acting as my guide."

"Please…can you get me out of here? Give a mushroom! Make me smaller!" demanded Vi.

"A mushroom, I have none and whether or not you get out is entirely up to you," The Masterfly (we'll call him that) said.

"C'mon, Yi!" she cried, using his Ionian counterpart's name, "I know you have something in your back of tricks! You always do! Give me something, anything! Just get me out of this nightmare!" The Masterfly flapped his wings and lazily fluttered in front of Vi's face.

"Nightmare…" he mused, "A dream in which the dreamer is plagued with never ending fear and, in some cases, pain. I ask you one final question, Vi, how does one escape from a nightmare?"

"It just…ends. They…wake up, but this is real…right? I mean it feels so real," answered Vi, confusion rushing over her.

"Are you experiencing fear?" inquired the Masterpillar.

"Yes," admitted Vi.

"Are you experiencing pain?"

"I will in a moment!" the Queen was approaching fast.

"Then end it. Wake up, Vi!" urged the Masterfly. Vi suddenly began to feel strange.

"Excuse me?"

"Wake up!"

"Yi, you're…not making any sense!" Vi's vision began to darken.

"Vi, you must wake up!" the Masterfly continued to shout.

"What is this!? What's happening!" Total darkness.

Off with her head!" roared the Queen.

"Vi, wake up!"

…..

"Come on, wake up!"

The numbness slowly left Vi as the darkness she saw slowly began to fade out with light. She was able to feel around her again, and she felt a hand lightly tugging at her shoulder.

"There you are, Vi."

The Enforcer's vision became crystal clear as she rubbed her eyes. The comforting sight she beheld was Caitlyn, not the Red Queen, in all her Piltover glory; sheriff's dress, top hat, and rifle hanging over her back.

"Caitlyn?" moaned Vi, "What?"

Her rather sandy eyes scanned about her…she was lying propped against a tower…in the bot lane of Summoner's Rift…What? Was…it all a dream? All of it?

"Are ok, Vi?" asked Caitlyn, "Or do you just take pride in sleeping on the job?"

Vi slowly rose up, using the tower as support, her partner back away from her easily. She looked about the lane. Same old towers, same old jungle, same old Caitlyn…had she truly come home?

"Is something wrong-Ah!" Caitlyn exhaled massively as Vi wrapped her in a Hextech Gauntlet bear hug.

"Cupcake!" cheered Vi, "It's never been this great seeing you!"

"Yeah…likewise. Can you out me down, please?" Caitlyn wheezed, face turning blue.

"Oh, sure," complied Vi.

"Now, is this your new strategy? Having a nap when criminals are about? Trying to lure them in by lowering your guard?" asked the Sheriff humorously.

"I guess that's what it looks like, huh?" laughed Vi

"Honestly Vi, has arresting Jinx gotten so old for you that you must occupy you're time with sleep?" Vi turned serious when Caitlyn said this.

"Wait! That's right! Jinx! Where is she? Is she still here?"

"Long story short," hummed Caitlyn, "While you saw fit to catch up on sleep, Jayce and I have been trying to reach you for a dog's age. Fearing the worst, we came to the Rift ourselves. What we found was you in what possibly might be the heaviest sleep I've ever seen you in and Jinx drawing on your face."

"She did what?" asked Vi.

"Drew on your face," repeated Caitlyn, laughing a bit, "May I say that you look much better with a mustache? It compliments your hair." She then traced her finger across Vi's upper lip then presented the tip of said finger with pink ink. Vi groaned.

"Well, at least she used a pink marker…" she sighed, "So Jayce is here, too?"

"Yes, he is," someone chuckled.

The Defender of Tomorrow himself emerged from the jungle, hammer hung impressively over his shoulder and prisoner in tow. Jayce was dragging Jinx, not the White Rabbit Girl from Wonderland, the Loose Cannon of Piltover by one of her massive blue braids. She tugged aggressively at the Hextech handcuffs that secured her.

"I can break these cuffs!" she shouted as she thrashed about as she was dragged.

"You can't break those cuffs," deadpanned Jayce as he tightened his grip on her, "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty, have a nice slumber?" he joked at Vi, who was rubbing at the drawn on mustache.

"You'd be surprised…" she said.

"In that case," said Jayce, "Lead the way, ladies. I believe that the Piltover Penitentiary has a new resident."

"But first…" chuckled Vi evilly and looked down at Jinx. She drew back a fist and launched a Hextech Gauntlet straight into the Loose Cannon's gut. Jinx let loose a gigantic pained gasp before assuming the fetal position.

"Ow! Why!?" she moaned painfully.

"Stay out of my dreams!" barked Vi.

"What?" gasped Jinx, "The hell does that mean?"

"Alright Vi, you got your revenge, save it!" scolded Caitlyn, "Believe don't worry she'll get a good run for her money in solitary confinement," she shifted over to Jinx, "Don't you worry, your padded cell is just the way you left it. You'll also be happy to know that we dry cleaned your straitjacket."

Jinx spat at the Sheriff's boots and remained respectfully silent.

"Fair enough," said Vi.

The Three Guardians of Piltover then made their way back to the fountain for extraction with Jinx in custody. As they went up the lane, Vi reflected silently. Nothing could've been sweeter than the sheer amount of comfort and reassurance she felt at that moment. The birds, the river flowing, and the breeze through the jungle. When she had joined the League, she was once told that Summoner's Rift would become her home…they were right…sweet homecoming. Vi was unaware of that the fact, that she was being watched.

"She's done well," commented the Masterfly, watching Vi until she was slowly teleported out of the Rift with her friends.

"Home at last," grinned the Cheshire Ziggs said to the butterfly perched on his head as he stretched out across the branch of the tree they were hidden in, "For now, at least. It's only a matter of time before the lure of Wonderland calls her back."

"You sound so sure of yourself, Cheshire," commented the Masterfly.

"Of myself? No. I'm sure of her…she will be back…they always comeback," the cat/Yordle snickered.

"She's wiser, now."

"And slightly more insane."

"What didn't kill her made her stronger."

"What didn't kill her will return and finish the job."

"Must you be so unpleasant?"

"Must you be so pleasant?"

"If I'm not, no one will."

"If you are, no one will care."

The Masterfly nodded.

"I like you, Cheshire."

"I like me too, Masterfly," purred the Cheshire Ziggs.

The Masterfly smoothly took flight, wing flap after wing flap and the Cheshire Ziggs leaped from the tree and onto the jungle floor.

"Oh, and Cheshire?" said the Masterfly as they made their way.

"Hmmm, yes?"

"A very merry unbirthday to you."

"To who?"

"To you."

"To me?'

"To you."

The duet performed by two voices, one smooth and calm and the other rough and chaotic, shifted into nothing more than a low echo as they allowed themselves to fall into the rabbit hole.

"Begin at the beginning," the King said, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop."

-Lewis Carroll