DISCLAIMER:: do not own

A/N:: so i'm having surgery on wednesday again. but i'm in high spirits because my hospital has the absolute best nurses in the world and they let me sneak my laptop in to my room as long as i hide it when my doctor does rounds. same with my phone and maura (my ipod touch). so i may have a post up once more before wednesday and probably another one on thursday or friday. yay.

SWAN QUEEN SWAN QUEEN SWAN QUEEN

Emma woke early enough to help Henry get ready for school and to see him off. Then she went up stairs to take a shower. It was difficult. They'd taken the partial cast off her arm before she'd left the hospital, but her arm still hurt a tremendous amount and it had a removable brace. The second the spray from the showerhead hit her wounds, she had to bite back a scream. The last thing she needed was Regina Mills running into the bathroom when she was naked and crying in the shower. She made it go as quickly as possible, washing her hair and body in record time. As she wrapped the towel around herself she finally felt the energy drain. She used a towel to wrap her hair up and sat on the bed. She didn't even notice she fell asleep until she sat up and noticed how much the sun had traveled across the sky. It was after noon. She got the medical supplies and wrapped up her leg, putting on her jeans. She winced as she brushed out hair that had dried as she slept and tangled. Finally she bandaged up the twelve gashes on her side and the four smaller ones on her arm. Her back was presenting a problem though. No matter which way she turned, she wasn't able to reach any of the wounds. She sighed. Asking Regina was the last thing she wanted to do, but what choice did she have? She grabbed the towel, holding it over her chest with one hand, grabbing the gauze and medical tape with her other, and headed down the hallway to the mayor's in-home office.

"Regina?"

"Hmm?" The brunette didn't look up from the files she was mulling over.

"Can I ask you for a favor?"

That made Regina's gaze shoot up.

Emma held up a roll of medical tape and a box of gauze with her good hand. "I can't reach my back." She had a towel wrapped around her torso to retain her modesty, though Regina was no stranger to the soft skin underneath. But Emma no longer remembered that and, remembering her deal with Mr. Gold, she tried to act as if she had no interest whatsoever in what lay under that terry cloth barrier.

Regina nodded and got up. She motioned for Emma to sit down.

Emma took a seat and turned so that her back was facing the mayor. She let the towel drop and Regina cringed as several swollen, nasty-looking gashes were laid bare to her. She'd seen worse… she'd done worse… when everyone had been residents of the Enchanted Forest still, but on Emma, these seemed outrageously cruel. "Let me get some hydrogen peroxide to clean them. We wouldn't want them to get infected."

"Thank you, Regina." She pulled up the towel to cover her chest as Regina opened the door and left to get the hydrogen peroxide.

Her first night here had been surprisingly wonderful. Despite her injuries and with the exception of a brief dream, she'd slept like a baby, as if this were home and she finally felt safe enough to truly rest. The only problem was, she didn't feel that way. She felt nothing towards this house. Except Henry of course. She remembered her dislike of the mayor, the fondness she'd developed for Henry despite his continued delusions, her anguish over Graham, her odd draw to Mary Margaret. But she didn't remember when the mayor changed her tune and became almost… protective of her. She found it hard to believe that this wasn't all a ruse, some secret ploy to get her out of town faster. I mean the woman had threatened to destroy her if it was the last thing she did. That's a pretty hardcore threat, not something easily forgotten or abandoned. And the mayor had socked her, really hard. That had hurt and it felt like it was just yesterday. Graham was just yesterday. A tear slid down her cheek as she thought about how happy he looked the moment before he'd died. It was as if he'd realized everything, put all the pieces of his life together. Now, he was gone and the loss tore at her as if it were fresh. A surge of anger at the woman who'd taken her in filled her. Just as quickly as it appeared, she suppressed it. Regina wasn't her enemy anymore. Why couldn't she remember that?

"Here we are." Regina stepped back in with the telltale brown bottle, closing the door. When she noticed Emma's tears, she frowned. "What's wrong?"

Emma swiped at the tears with the backs of her hands, letting the towel fall without even realizing it. She shook her head. "It's nothing. The wounds just burn a little is all."

Her left side exposed to the mayor, Regina had to hold her breath to keep from gasping aloud. At least twelve gauze pads blocked the bigger gashes from her eyes, but the smaller ones were all visible, angry red tears ripped through her skin where the glass had exacted its revenge for being shattered.

Emma followed her eyes and glanced at her left side, covering it back up. "Sorry."

Regina shook her head. "It's fine." She sat behind Emma on the small couch. She poured some hydrogen peroxide into a square of clean gauze. "This might sting a little." She touched the soaked gauze to the first of the gashes on Emma's back, one up by her shoulder. Reflexively, Emma flinched away from the sting, wincing. "Sorry." Regina leaned forward and blew softly. The sting ebbed away.

It took nearly half an hour to do all eight of the wounds on her back. Over the course of that time, Emma's anger deflated again. But finally Regina stood up. "You're all set."

"Regina?"

"Hmm?" She tossed away the dirty gauze in the trash by her desk and pulled some hand sanitizer out of the top drawer.

"Do you ever think about the night Graham died?"

Regina froze, her heart speeding up. "All the time. Why?"

"Because I'm sorry about what I said that night. To you. I made it sound like you were the problem. I shouldn't have said those things."

Regina nodded. "It's okay. It was the truth. I was acting the way I always had and was wondering why I wasn't getting different reactions from people."

Emma nodded and stood, barely able to believe her ears. Was Regina actually taking responsibility for the way she treated people? What in the fuck had happened this past year? She walked to the door. "Regina?" She turned back. The older woman was giving Emma her full attention. "I'm really sorry that I don't remember our friendship, that all I remember is the bad. I want you to know that I really wish I could remember."

"I wish there hadn't been any bad to remember."

Emma gave one last small smile before departing. Maybe Regina wasn't as bad as she'd originally thought. She went back to her room to rest until Henry got home.

SWAN QUEEN SWAN QUEEN SWAN QUEEN

After dinner, she sought out Regina. She was once again in her office.

"Regina?"

"Emma."

Emma sat down in one of the chairs across from her. "I was wondering if you'd tell me stories, memories, about when we became friends. Maybe they'll help me remember."

Regina eyed her warily. "Are you sure?"

Emma nodded. "A memory a night, like a bedtime story."

Regina smiled, giving a small nod. "Okay."

"Can we start right now?"

Regina nodded. "Why don't you go get settled down in bed? I'll be there in a second?"

Emma nodded, turning from the room and going to her bedroom. She had just settled into bed when Regina entered, holding what looked to be a photo album. Emma scooted over to one side so Regina could relax comfortably next to her.

Regina leaned back against the pillows and ran a hand across the cover of the album. "It's all I have left of the last nine months." She flipped through it until she found the photograph she was looking for and slid it out, handing it to the blonde.

Emma stared at it, honestly not remembering anything. It depicted her and Regina walking along the beach that bordered one side of the town. Regina's arm was extended towards her and she was mid-fall, caught by the camera as she was hurtling towards the water. She narrowed her eyes. "You pushed me! That is so like you."

Regina chuckled, remembering their first outing as a couple with Henry, though he hadn't known they were one at that time. "You were so impatient that day…"

"Come on Henry!" Emma called up the stairs.

She was as giddy as Regina had seen her; the prospect of spending the day all together had thrilled her, despite Regina insisting that they still keep the secret of their true relationship from the boy.

The boy rushed down the stairs. "I'm ready."

"It's about time." Emma led the way to the door.

Henry just looked at Regina and they simultaneously rolled their eyes behind the blonde's back. He followed Emma and she took up the rear of the party, smiling to herself at how quickly they were becoming a little family.

Henry ran along the water's edge with as much energy and enthusiasm as Regina had ever seen their little boy ever have.

Emma walked beside her. By an unspoken agreement, they didn't hold hands, but Regina felt an emptiness for the first time in the small space between her fingers. She longed to reach out and touch the blonde, needing, again for the first time since him, to feel the reassurance of physical contact. So she did the only thing she could think of. She reached out sideways and gave the blonde a hard shove to her shoulder. A camera flash went off as Emma gave a cry of surprise and toppled with a splash into the ocean. Regina tried to stifle a laugh as Emma glared up at her from the shallow water.

"I hope you realize the repercussions of your actions, Madame Mayor." Emma stood and wrung the excess water out of her hair.

Regina rolled her eyes. "Ooh, I'm so scared." She scoffed. But her eyes grew wide as, in one swift motion, Emma scooped her up in a fireman's carry. "What are you doing? Put me down this instant!"

"Down?" Emma shrugged. "Okay." And with an amount of strength Regina hadn't known the blonde possessed, she launched Regina through the air and into the water.

Regina stood and glared at the blonde with fire in her eyes. "How dare you!"

Emma grinned, her arms crossed across her chest. "Repercussions."

Regina stormed forward, grabbing Emma's arm and pulling her into the waves. They roughoused for quite some time, two women living out a life they were denied by their respective necessities to grow up quickly. All the while, Henry snapped photos.

Finally, both spent, they collapsed on the sand, laughing.

Emma's finger traced Regina's smiling face in the photograph. Her own back was to the camera, so she couldn't see her own expression. "You look really happy."

"I was." Regina took the photograph back. "It was a great day."

"It seems like we spent a lot of time together."

Regina nodded. "Whenever we weren't working."

Emma sighed. "We were best friends and I can't remember any of it. Is that normal?"

Regina frowned, closing the photo album and setting it aside. She should tell Emma the truth, that she'd never remember because of Regina's deal, but she didn't have the heart to hurt the blonde after she'd already been through so much. "The doctor said memories will return in their own time."

Emma nodded. "I know. But..." She trailed off, unable to convey just how difficult the struggle to remember who you were was. It was a rather helpless feeling and Emma hated feeling helpless. She wanted to remember. She'd been in a relationship, Mary Margaret had said. She'd had someone who loved her. She'd had a best friend too. She'd had a life, a good one it seemed.

"We'll make new memories Emma."

The blonde's green eyes shifted to focus on the woman staring back at her... her best friend and yet all she could remember was what she didn't like about the time they'd known each other. Slowly, she nodded. She had to try to feel something besides hurt, for Regina, for what they'd been. She had to force herself to try and be that again.