The next few chapters are going to be kind of tough to write because I'm needing to do research for them. I didn't show up until the late 1970's so I'm afraid my knowledge of a lot of things from earlier decades is rather limited. Hopefully, I won't make too many glaring errors or inconsistencies.
The next several months seemed to simultaneously fly by in a blur and yet somehow drag its feet, particularly for Alexandra and Della. Nine months seemed like an eternity to prepare for a baby, but no matter how complete the baby's room, no matter the previous experience, they both felt like they couldn't do enough to be ready for the big day.
On very similar journeys at the moment, Alexandra and Della had bonded and become fast friends to the delight of their husbands. Though the courtroom clashes between the district and defense attorneys raged on, Burger and Mason didn't let it carry over outside of the professional domain. It was especially comforting to Mason to know that Alexandra was making time for Della. Having never been through pregnancy and childbirth before, Della had sometimes felt lost and nervous and it had been a huge sigh of relief to have another mother to open up to.
"Is it as horrific as I've heard?" Della asked nervously in a hushed whisper as they waited for their lunch to be brought to their table. Her hand rested on her swollen belly, caressing it where she felt her little one's increasingly vigorous kicks. "Labor and delivery I mean? I've heard horror stories…"
Alexandra pondered that as she took a sip of her tea. The conversation was rather unladylike for a public setting so she knew why Della had kept her voice hushed. Personally, Burger's wife, who was a trained and experienced marriage and family therapist, wished society would get over itself and stop treating childbearing as something unnatural and shameful to talk about. But as the wife of the prominent district attorney, Alexandra had to play the game. Despite her experience in counseling others, she felt some confusion about what to tell Mason's wife and longtime secretary.
The truth was that it had been nearly two decades since Alexandra had last given birth. She had heard from younger mothers that labor and delivery hadn't changed much in that time. The knowledge distressed Alexandra more than she could say.
"I don't want to scare you, Della, but I've always believed knowledge is power so if you want me to tell you as much as I can, I'm willing to do that. I suppose the good news is I'll be going through the more modern version within the next few weeks so I can give you a more recent account before it's your turn."
"Like Perry prefers to do with a legal case, I'd rather go in knowing as much information as I possibly can."
Alexandra nodded. She could definitely understand that desire. Despite the fact that childbirth was one of the most natural of processes and women had been enduring it since time immemorial, it was also fraught with dangers and potential complications, some fatal. To have little knowledge and control over the process was frightening. It certainly had been for a young Alexandra who was not even 20 years old when she and Burger had welcomed baby Helen.
"I don't know how much you've heard about the "twilight sleep," but it is true that in most hospital births the woman is drugged in order to help her forget the pain of childbirth. It can be… disorienting. I honestly don't remember much about the births of my four girls after the point where the drugs were administered. The woman has very little control over the experience. And they're not going to let our husbands back there with us."
"But why?"
"Social and gender roles," Alexandra replied, a touch of irritation and sarcasm at the whole notion coloring her voice. "It's 'women's business,' unless of course, you're the doctor. They've all been male since practically the dawn of the 20th century when childbirth became a medical process in hospitals rather than the natural one at home like it used to be. And no doubt also to prevent our husbands from seeing what really goes on back there. Like who even knows besides the doctors and nurses? The women don't remember. The husbands aren't allowed anywhere near the labor and delivery rooms. Interestingly though, the decisions about our care are left to our husbands who get very little information about what is actually going on with us."
A full body shudder coursed through Della at that. "It sounds horrifying."
"The good news is you won't remember it. And you'll have a baby at the end of it. Aside from that it's a very impersonal, very cold and sterile process. Don't expect much in the bedside manner of the nurses or doctors. You'll want Perry. You'll really want Perry to be with you, but there's no point in asking. All they'll tell you is that he has to wait in the waiting room where men belong. I know because I heard that several times when I was being prepped to have Helen."
They both peered down at their food and Alexandra stabbed at her side salad as she recalled what memories she did have of Helen's birth. She swallowed hard as the remembered fear jolted her heart just as it had almost 25 years ago.
"I remember as they began wheeling me back I turned back to look at Hamilton who wasn't allowed to come any further with me. I will never forget the look on his face. He looked so stressed and worn. He had about six weeks left before graduating from college so he had the weight of all those coming exams and whatnot right on the heels of this baby. He was trying so hard to appear calm and strong, but I could see the fear in his eyes and how much it killed him to have to be apart from me. Waiting for news is no picnic for them either, even if it is a walk in the park compared to what we go through."
They were silent as they dug into their meals. Della was digesting her friend's words. It disappointed her that even after four births, the drugged nature of the experience left little that Alexandra could definitively tell her. It did highlight how powerless women were in this day and age over a process that they used to have much control of. It seemed like a step back for women in this century, even though perhaps giving birth in a hospital facilitated intervention in the event of complications. As unsettled as Della felt now, the clinking of dishes and conversation in the background suddenly seemed so loud and suffocating.
"Are you scared this time?" Della asked, curious.
Alexandra chuckled ruefully and thought about it. "A little. If only because of my age. I'm a little long in the tooth to be having another baby. I think Hamilton is the one getting more gray hair over it then I am. He's been smoking more to calm his nerves, poor guy. I wish he'd quit that disgusting habit though, but everyone does it, except you and me I think. I didn't allow him to smoke in the house after I found out I was pregnant with Helen. He has to go outside because I won't let him smoke around the kids."
Della nodded vigorously in agreement. "I've been thinking about the same with Perry. All that smoke can't be good for kids. Everything ends up smelling like it. I don't smoke, but my clothes always do by the end of the day because most of the people around me do."
"Oh I know. It drives me nuts too. And speaking of bad habits, I think I'll be having dessert this time. If I'm going to be eating for two, there will be chocolate involved."
"Sounds fair to me," Della quipped with a bright smile.
