AUTHOR'S NOTE: Guys, I check the news. I know when new chapters are released. You don't have to keep telling me new chapters are out and to update the spoof accordingly—it adds unnecessary clutter to my inbox. I'm a busy college student and can't always immediately get to updating. I hope you understand.
THE FAERIES' RUIN…chapter 11
Setting: Brynn, Xandra, and Hanso are inside the ruins, where a pair of Shadow creatures stand before them, menacing and totally scary, man. Hanso doesn't remember them being there.
Hanso: Huh. I don't remember them being here.
Neopets Battledomers: New challengers new challengers new challENGERS NEW CHALLENGERS NEW CHALLENGERS!
Brynn: Nope, they're all mine. Run!
(Hanso, Brynn, and Xandra run for their lives)
Shadows: GROAAAARRRR.
Brynn: You two find the artifact. I'll hold them off as long as I can.
Hanso: But—
Xandra: There's no point in arguing. I need your help finding the artifact. Come on!
Hanso: But…but…new challengers! Plot points! ):
Xandra: Sorry Hanso, not this time.
Hanso: What? You mean this is just a filler chapter? No new STEPS? THIS IS BLASPHEMY.
Brynn: BRIGHTVALE—*attacks the Shadows*
Xandra: NOW, Hanso! *grabs his arm and leads him off*
(The two run around the old ruins until they finally come across the right room containing the artifact.)
Artifact: Look at me, just sitting so serenely and innocently in this beam of sunlight. It's too pretty to be cliché.
Hanso: Aha! What have we here?
Xandra: The artifact, dummy.
Hanso: Xandra, that was a rhetorical question and you know what never mind you're the least liked character anyway.
Xandra: WHAT! I'm the token magic user!
Hanso: Nuh-uh, Jazan has that cool lightning thing he does with his hands. Didn't you read the Lost Desert plot?
Xandra: I'm still the best chance you've got for reversing the spell!
Hanso: No way. My awesomeness alone could do that.
Xandra: Funny, it hasn't worked yet.
(Ooh, burn.)
Hanso: Shut up, narrator.
Xandra: Let's just grab the artifact and get out of here.
Hanso: Careful! You can't just rush over and snatch it.
Xandra: There's nothing to fear here, except those creepy gargoyles…and the gigantic Shadows that almost attacked us back at the entrance…and the dark gloomy hallways…and the—
Hanso: Yeah, yeah, I get it. Do you have a bag of sand?
Xandra: …we don't have time for this. *grabs it off the pedestal*
Hanso: AAAH! *cringes for the inevitable booby trap*
Xandra: *looks at him like the idiot he is and sighs*
Hanso: …okay, so you were lucky this time.
Xandra: Shut up and let's find Brynn.
(He shuts up and they find Brynn.)
Hanso: BRYNNY-BOO, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT. :D
Brynn: Of course I am, you dolt. It took you two long enough. Did you find anything?
Hanso: We found…THIS! *holds up the artifact* Da-da-da-DA! Item get!
Xandra: Yes…I think the artifact Hanso stole—
Hanso: You mean liberated.
Xandra: …liberated…was part of a whole, and this is the other part. Since the first artifact turned the faeries to stone, this one might be able to reverse the spell. It's a long shot, but what else can we do?
Brynn: We can go back to the Haunted Woods, for starters. We should show King Altador and the others what we've found.
Hanso: Good idea! …this is going to be a long walk.
Brynn: We don't have to walk, silly. We just have to jump to the next panel.
(They're in the Haunted Woods again. Like magic!)
Brynn: *walking in front* Did you hear that?
Hanso: What did it sound like?
Brynn: That.
Xandra: I didn't hear anything. You must be imagin—
Shadow: *springs up behind them* GROAARRRR!
Xandra: How dare you interrupt me while I'm talking… Rude.
Hanso: Um, I don't think he particularly cares…they don't like us, remember?
Brynn: The feeling is mutual. *clutches her sword*
(Altador, Jazan, and everyone else steps in to save the day YAAAAAAAAY)
Altador: Back, fiends!
Old Ogrin Dude: NINJA KICK WIYA.
Xandra: Old Ogrin Dude! You kick ass?
Brynn: Old people are actually useful for something?
Hanso: Hanso is totally cool and amazing?
…*crickets chirp*
Hanso: It was worth a shot.
Brynn: Thank for the help, King Altador. It's good to see all of you again.
Jazan: Of course it's good to see me again. *hair toss*
Altador: What news do you bring from Brightvale?
Brynn: I found a book in the Royal Library that led us to another artifact. Xandra thinks she can use it to reverse the spell, but…
Altador: But…?
Xandra: But?
Jazan: But?
Hanso: Butt. :D
Xandra: *smacks him*
Brynn: …but it's worse than just Faerieland sinking. Your majesty, I think all of Neopia is in terrible danger…
Altador: Well DUUUUUUH.
Chapter 11, end
