AUTHOR'S NOTE: Guys, I check the news. I know when new chapters are released. You don't have to keep telling me new chapters are out and to update the spoof accordingly—it adds unnecessary clutter to my inbox. I'm a busy college student and can't always immediately get to updating. I hope you understand.

THE FAERIES' RUIN…chapter 11

Setting: Brynn, Xandra, and Hanso are inside the ruins, where a pair of Shadow creatures stand before them, menacing and totally scary, man. Hanso doesn't remember them being there.

Hanso: Huh. I don't remember them being here.

Neopets Battledomers: New challengers new challengers new challENGERS NEW CHALLENGERS NEW CHALLENGERS!

Brynn: Nope, they're all mine. Run!

(Hanso, Brynn, and Xandra run for their lives)

Shadows: GROAAAARRRR.

Brynn: You two find the artifact. I'll hold them off as long as I can.

Hanso: But—

Xandra: There's no point in arguing. I need your help finding the artifact. Come on!

Hanso: But…but…new challengers! Plot points! ):

Xandra: Sorry Hanso, not this time.

Hanso: What? You mean this is just a filler chapter? No new STEPS? THIS IS BLASPHEMY.

Brynn: BRIGHTVALE—*attacks the Shadows*

Xandra: NOW, Hanso! *grabs his arm and leads him off*

(The two run around the old ruins until they finally come across the right room containing the artifact.)

Artifact: Look at me, just sitting so serenely and innocently in this beam of sunlight. It's too pretty to be cliché.

Hanso: Aha! What have we here?

Xandra: The artifact, dummy.

Hanso: Xandra, that was a rhetorical question and you know what never mind you're the least liked character anyway.

Xandra: WHAT! I'm the token magic user!

Hanso: Nuh-uh, Jazan has that cool lightning thing he does with his hands. Didn't you read the Lost Desert plot?

Xandra: I'm still the best chance you've got for reversing the spell!

Hanso: No way. My awesomeness alone could do that.

Xandra: Funny, it hasn't worked yet.

(Ooh, burn.)

Hanso: Shut up, narrator.

Xandra: Let's just grab the artifact and get out of here.

Hanso: Careful! You can't just rush over and snatch it.

Xandra: There's nothing to fear here, except those creepy gargoyles…and the gigantic Shadows that almost attacked us back at the entrance…and the dark gloomy hallways…and the—

Hanso: Yeah, yeah, I get it. Do you have a bag of sand?

Xandra: …we don't have time for this. *grabs it off the pedestal*

Hanso: AAAH! *cringes for the inevitable booby trap*

Xandra: *looks at him like the idiot he is and sighs*

Hanso: …okay, so you were lucky this time.

Xandra: Shut up and let's find Brynn.

(He shuts up and they find Brynn.)

Hanso: BRYNNY-BOO, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT. :D

Brynn: Of course I am, you dolt. It took you two long enough. Did you find anything?

Hanso: We found…THIS! *holds up the artifact* Da-da-da-DA! Item get!

Xandra: Yes…I think the artifact Hanso stole—

Hanso: You mean liberated.

Xandra: …liberated…was part of a whole, and this is the other part. Since the first artifact turned the faeries to stone, this one might be able to reverse the spell. It's a long shot, but what else can we do?

Brynn: We can go back to the Haunted Woods, for starters. We should show King Altador and the others what we've found.

Hanso: Good idea! …this is going to be a long walk.

Brynn: We don't have to walk, silly. We just have to jump to the next panel.

(They're in the Haunted Woods again. Like magic!)

Brynn: *walking in front* Did you hear that?

Hanso: What did it sound like?

Brynn: That.

Xandra: I didn't hear anything. You must be imagin—

Shadow: *springs up behind them* GROAARRRR!

Xandra: How dare you interrupt me while I'm talking… Rude.

Hanso: Um, I don't think he particularly cares…they don't like us, remember?

Brynn: The feeling is mutual. *clutches her sword*

(Altador, Jazan, and everyone else steps in to save the day YAAAAAAAAY)

Altador: Back, fiends!

Old Ogrin Dude: NINJA KICK WIYA.

Xandra: Old Ogrin Dude! You kick ass?

Brynn: Old people are actually useful for something?

Hanso: Hanso is totally cool and amazing?

…*crickets chirp*

Hanso: It was worth a shot.

Brynn: Thank for the help, King Altador. It's good to see all of you again.

Jazan: Of course it's good to see me again. *hair toss*

Altador: What news do you bring from Brightvale?

Brynn: I found a book in the Royal Library that led us to another artifact. Xandra thinks she can use it to reverse the spell, but…

Altador: But…?

Xandra: But?

Jazan: But?

Hanso: Butt. :D

Xandra: *smacks him*

Brynn: …but it's worse than just Faerieland sinking. Your majesty, I think all of Neopia is in terrible danger…

Altador: Well DUUUUUUH.

Chapter 11, end