AN: Thanks for reading my story, reviewing it and putting it on alert. This chapter turned out a little different than I had in mind, but it needed to be this way. Hope you enjoy it!
I should have known that you can't escape from Alcatraz. I didn't even make it to the fence let alone over it. I thought that the guys, Sampler in particular, would be pissed off by my attempt to escape. The sight that greeted me when I walked back inside the clubhouse with Sampler was surprising to say the least. Bobby was exchanging money and there were drinks all around. I look at the security monitors and judging by the 'caught red handed' look on Juice's face my bet would be that the guys had watched the whole thing. Saw me climb out the window of the shower and climb in to the garage window. In my defense, I never prepared this whole escape, it was more a spur of the moment thing.
"Did anyone turn off the water?" I ask flatly rolling my eyes and giving them my best 'honestly officer, it wasn't me' face.
"You locked the door so we send the prospect outside to climb through the window." Chibs answers as they all look at the surveillance cameras.
I chuckle when I see his desperate attempts and have to keep myself from laughing full on when I see him stuck at the infamous 'point of no return'. "Oh my, he is going head first."
"You really thought you would get away Sue?" Sampler asks as he hands me a glass of whiskey. "I know you suugs, you never close a window. You gave it away when you were ranting and raving earlier and you let me on that you overheard my talk with Tig."
"A well, at least I got to practice my skills. I have to admit I am a little rusty, maybe I am not so flexible anymore more at my old age." I say and see Tig take a swig of his beer to hide the twinkle in his eyes and I know he is thinking back at the pole dance stripper thing earlier today.
"Please tell me you were naked under that towel though." Koz asks and crossed his fingers in hope.
"Oh how rude Koz." I give him a warningly glare before I shrug and smile. "Nah I just rolled up the legs of my jeans." I narrow my eyes when I see him hand over another fifty dollars to Happy. Happy takes it of him and shrugs when he sees me eyeing the money.
"I am sorry Koz, I am not much of a money maker for you dude." I smile. I point at Happy, "You on the other hand …, you owe me at least a beer or two."
I sit down on a stool and pout in my glass of whiskey. "I knew I should have dug a tunnel."
Maybe I didn't get away and nothing has changed about the situation, but just the simple fact that I have been 'doing my thing' by climbing through windows, made me focus and calm down. For a brief moment, I was having a goal. I need a goal, I need moments that I can focus or I am all over the place. The fact that the guys are giving me slack and are not all over my ass helps a great deal too in calming down and getting a little grip back on myself. It is like they agreed to stay off my back and are collectively trying a new approach.
Tig is standing at the head of the bar, the palms of his hands on the surface of the bar and he is sliding his bottle of beer back and forth between his thumb and index finger over the smooth surface. He looks at me with a reprimanding 'that was naughty' look and I return him one of my own saying, 'and what exactly are you going to do about it'.
The prospect walks back into the main room, soaking wet. I smile at the sight, the poor guy really hit the showers when he climbed back in. Even though we are laughing and everything seems alright, the tension in the air is still noticeable.
"Fair play Sue, at least you tried." Sampler says as he nudges me with his shoulder.
"You make it sound like it is a done deal Sam, but I am still not going back to Vegas." I give him a cheeky grin. "Unless it is in a body bag."
"Not funny sugar." He says as he put his beer on the bar with a little too much force. I suppose my R 'n R is revoked as of immediately. No more rest and relaxation for me, we are back in the game. I really want to keep things calm and reasonable now. I hate fighting with him and I hate leaving him on a bad note even more.
"Right let's get this settled right now." I say. "You know I would die for you and I trust you with my life. Please believe me when I say you can not protect me when I go back to Vegas. I will die and most likely you will die trying to keep me safe."
"What happened in Vegas Sue." Tig speaks up and I see the persuasiveness rise inside of him. I am grateful that I am not alone with Tig at this moment. The way his fingers grip around the bottle tells me that he can be really convincing when he wants something. I have seen that side of him from way too close and I don't need a repeat of that. Tig wants to know, hell they all want to know.
"Water under the bridge, it's in the past and not interesting to anyone anymore. The current question is, what will happen if I am not going to Vegas." I look at Sampler.
"Vince is a greedy bastard and he told me to bring you back, if I don't he will question my motives, lose a little trust in me and my capabilities. To him I already let you slip away once, two years ago. He wasn't too impressed with me back then either. He will probably side track me for a while, saying I that if I am not even capable of bringing a woman back to the club, I probably am not capable of a lot of other things."
"What does side track mean exactly?" I narrow my eyes at Sam, I really need to know. "Will he take your patches, will you get in 'trouble'."
"Fuck knows what Vince will do these days, he's a bit of a hot head, rash decisions and not always thinking things through as well as he should." He looks at Clay for a moment, checking if he might have said a little too much regarding his president. Sam knows better than to flaunt the dirty laundry.
I turn to Clay. "You are the national president right? So basically your word is worth more than Vince's right?"
Clay doesn't answer me, just lifts his hands slightly as if he is saying 'heeeeey, what do you think'. He reminds me a bit of Fonzie from the series 'Happy days'.
"Sorted." I say and motion for the prospect to fill up my glass again. "Can I talk to you for a minute Clay?"
All eyes move between Clay and me. Clay nods and walks away to one of the tables. I follow him and sit down on a chair opposite to him. "You remember my get out of hell card? I want to use it now. I want my option, my way out."
"What do you have in mind Sue." He talks all business but his eyes tell me he is concerned.
"I want a twenty-four hour free pass. Let me leave, don't follow me and don't tell Vegas that I am gone before those twenty-four hours are over. After that, call Vince and tell him that you let me go or send me off. Say whatever you like as long as you make sure Vince knows that you are the reason that Sampler couldn't bring me back."
Clay is not liking it one bit and I doubt he will keep his word and go along with it. I know I am really pushing it by asking this of him. "Are you at least going to tell me why?" Clay says as he tilts his head. He is fishing for more information. I need to give him something, otherwise he is not going to give me what I want.
"Someone wants me dead in Vegas, Sam will do anything to keep me safe, but he can't. I am not going to drag him into this. It's not fair Clay, he owes me nothing. I've caused him enough headaches."
"We can protect you." Clay puffs on his cigar and looks confident.
"No you can't, no one can. I have been lucky once, I won't be so lucky again. I will be truthfully honest with you Clay. I am the only one who can change all this around, but I rather run and keep on hiding."
Clay puts his arm on the table in front of him and leans closer to me. It is that intimidating, passive aggressiveness that he is displaying again. My god, can that man possibly look any bigger? "Right, then tell me this, why does this someone wants you dead."
I keep telling myself that I am not intimidated. I am not scared to stand up to him, well in a very careful and respectful way of course. I am not that stupid, I know I am already overstepping my boundaries with what I am asking of him.
I try my charming grin on him, trying to get some sympathy out of this manimal.
He sits back in his chair and his eyes bore into mine, making me feel very small all of a sudden. "Alright, If that's what you want Sue, if you feel that you can't trust me enough." He shakes his head and puts his hands up telling me he is giving up and giving in. His eyes show me the disappointment is directed at me. The 'I am not angry, just disappointed' look. Fuck me sideways, I am screwed. Who taught him this? That little thing called trust is something that is so huge to me, he is playing me, trying to get me where it hurts.
Sampler used to do the same, he would give me an exact copy of that look when I wanted something that he wasn't exactly thrilled about but didn't want to tell me no. I would go out and do whatever it was that I wanted to do, but because of that 'look' I would not enjoy myself and nine out of ten times I would just come home and forget about the whole thing. Why the hell am I such a pushover, such a pathetic bitch.
I sigh and rub my face. "I don't know what to do anymore Clay."
"Sometimes you have to take a gamble Sue. You of all people should know that. Look at them." He tilts his head in the direction of the bar. "Look at them." He repeats his words with a little bit more force and demands me to look at the guys at the bar.
"Three of my best men stand there. They are reaching out to you, wanting to help you. Not because they have to, not because I told them to, but because for some reason they want to. Now you decide what is best for you and tell me that you still want to leave."
I lay my head on the table and listen to his words. "I hear ya Clay, I do. I just don't see what is in it for me." I lift my head back up and look at him. "It is not me who wants to go to Vegas, I am fine if I never set foot there again. It's no big deal to me, been there done that and got the t-shirt."
Clay rubs his face and I take a sip of my drink as we stare at each other. "In case you haven't noticed, Sam doesn't really want me to come to Vegas either. He rather wants to pass me over to Tig than take me back with him. It is Vince who wants me back there, does that sound strange to you Clay? It sure as fuck doesn't make sense to me. Who is he to demand something of me? Does he think he can make me, just because he is the president or because I fucked one of his men?"
Clay looks at me and I can tell he is trying to read between the lines and thinking of reasons why.
"I just need to know Sam isn't getting any shit from Vince when he returns without me."
Clay laughs and falls back in his chair puffing on his cigar again. "I don't think you need to worry much about Sam, he is a little bit more than just a pimp with a dick and a guitar darling."
I laugh at that profile sketch. It's so true, a pimp with a dick and a guitar. Clay just moved up a place in my book of funny. "Still, there are many ways to kill a man Clay, I am sure I don't need to tell you."
"He'll be fine, I'll make sure of that. You do what is right for you." There is that look again, the 'you do whatever it is you think is best, but you better know that I don't like it'.
"Then I am heading out. It's best for everyone, sooner or later I am going on." It's true, I have no ambition to go back into my old trade in Vegas. It was great when it lasted, I made a lot of money, but it wasn't always bright lights and rolling dice in the city. "Solving whatever shit there is in Vegas is only a delay of my departure, so why bother?"
"You know where you are going?" He asks me.
I throw my hands up and shake my head. "Where ever the road takes me. I was planning on going to San Francisco, but I am not going towards there any more with a pick-up that will be flagged the minute I enter Mayan territory. I think I might go ring my southern bell and see if I can brush up on my Daisy Duke act. Travel around a little and hopefully figure out what I want."
I cock my head a little and lean forward on the table. "I have no illusions Clay, Juice set me up nicely and I am forever grateful, but I know he can track me down. He knows when I am due to report in at the parole officer in Arizona, he knows when I am due to send my e-mail's and I am sure he set it up so he knows exactly where I am when I send them."
Clay lifts his head up and looks at me with those blue shiny eyes of him. "You better believe it."
"I also know that those three men there, will act on half a word coming from you when you tell them to go and get me. I am certain they will happily drag my ass back here."
Clay leans forward and mimics me by leaning over the table. "and I will drag your ass back here once I figured out what the score is Sue. So see this as a little holiday you are taking and enjoy yourself while it lasts." His words are serious and hold a slight threat in them.
"I guess we will be seeing each other again then Clay." I smirk. "If you catch me that is."
We both stand up and I hold my hand out for him to shake it. He takes it and pulls me into a hug. "I think you are making a mistake Sue."
"I need this Clay, for me. I have lost myself, been locked up and I need to find myself again before I can go on with living. Just keep my guy out of the crosshair with Vince."
We let go of each other and we walk back to the bar where the guys are waiting with anticipation and curiosity about the little get together I had with Clay.
The prospect holds the bottle of whiskey up to refill my glass, I shake my head and ask him for a coffee. All of a sudden the air feels heavy around me. I look at Tig and I can tell he knows I found my way out. He looks pissed off and disappointed. So does Sampler, even though with him I sense there is a little relief in his eyes as well. Happy gives me a small nod and I nearly feel like he is encouraging me to leave. "Right guys, I guess I am packing my shit and I will be heading out of here."
Tig looks at Clay, like a son who has just discovered that his father is not the hero he always thought he was, but a normal human being like the rest of us.
Clay speaks up. "Sue has a twenty-four hour free pass." He looks back at Tig, "and we are letting her go. I contact Vince tomorrow evening to inform him she is no longer with us."
"You mean you are going to tell her that she is like … gone?" Juice asks him.
I roll my eyes and take my coffee to go back to my room and leave it to Clay to tell them whatever he wants to. I pack the few things that I had left behind when I tried my first attempt to leave. It's not much and I sit on the bed against the headboard sipping my coffee when Sampler walks in. He sits next to me and pulls me close. He brushes the hair out of my face and studies my face.
"You sure about this sugar?" He asks with concern in his voice.
"I need to do this Sam, have you seen me? I can't keep it together and I will be damned if I am going to fall apart either." I am fighting the tears.
"You are your own worst enemy Sue." He says with a sigh. "You are being too hard on yourself."
"I feel like I am losing it Sam and I can't put it to words. I need to make my own decisions again. I feel like I am adapting and adjusting to everyone around me, go by their standards, their morals, because I am no longer in touch with my own. It's like I am stuck behind a glass wall, I look at myself but can't be myself." I stare into my coffee. "It is sucking me down Sam, I am a pretender, I can be anything you want me to be. I just don't know anymore how to be me. When I am alone with my thoughts, I don't recognize myself anymore and I am lost. I am so fucking lost."
That's it, I forgot to be me. I am fine when I am alone, there is nothing that will interact with me. No mirror that reflects the reactions to my actions. It's the easy way out, like I always preferred.
"You are off on a lonely road again." He says. "I hope you will find what you are looking for."
He plants a kiss on the top of my head. "I do too." I whisper to him.
"Don't vanish on me sis. Vegas is full of fake and make believe, you might think it rubbed off on you, but you are one of the only true things that came to the city and into my life. I hate to see you leave if that means that I am never going to see you again."
I look up to him and a tear rolls over my face, I want to say so much, but the lump in my throat keeps me from talking. I am putting up a front not to cry all over his shirt. He licks the tear for my face, like a dog. I burst out in laughter and snot is coming out of my nose.
"Fucking hell Sue, you really know how to kill the moment." He says grinning at me.
"Sorry Sam." I laugh and wipe my face and my nose. "I love your crazy ass, shitface. Don't you ever forget that."
"You're a crazy bitch." He gets up and starts humming a song that makes me laugh even harder.
"Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on"
He walks to the door and I take the pillow of the bed and throw it at his back. "You're crazy but I like the way you fuck me!" I sing back at him.
He turns around and picks up the pillow and tosses it gently back to me. "Save that for old Tigger suugs." He says with a wink. "Oh and good luck saying goodbye to that motherfucker."
"Sam wait." I call him back just before he walks into the corridor. He turns around and frowns at me. "You alright with that Sam? You know, me and Tig and all?" I always wondered what he thinks of me with another guy. I know that we never agreed on anything, but still I never was with anyone else, specially not one of his brothers.
"Does it matter what I think Sue?" He snorts, but he walks back to me and pulls me up. "You are absolutely the wildest and best fuck I've ever had and that says something. Last time I checked you were still fair game Sue, no one laid claim on you."
He looks into my eyes, raises an eyebrow to complete the challenging grin on his face. "Doesn't matter no more now, because you decided to leave suugs."
"I know, but really, what if … " I can't finish my sentence because he cuts me off with a kiss of pure lust. I feel his hands go under my shirt and I am about to give into him when he stops. "You know what you are to me. You're my crazy bitch. If you want to see what you are to Tig, fine with me. First you figure out what it is that you want Sue, don't confuse sex, lust and attraction with something that it is not."
I understand what he is saying. "Tig can't give me more than you can."
"Is it more you want Sue? You make your own rules sugar, than you go and live by them. Could it be that you are a little bit more like me and Tig than you think? Don't let others dictate you what to do, or what is supposed to be 'right'. I doubt there are many men who can and will put up with your little stunts. Every man loves a wild woman, but it becomes a little different when that wild thing is yours and all your brothers are getting a hard on for her." He gives me a cheeky smile and pulls me against his chest. "I don't know if Tig can deal with that, if he can and when he makes you happy, I am good. If he can't, one of you will end up in a shallow grave. Most likely, that will be you."
He kisses the top of my head. "I love you the way you are Sue, the way we are. Your my sister I like to fuck, but I will never make you mine."
"Why not?" I don't ask him because I have this secret desire to be with him, but I really want to know why he would never be with me. "Don't you ever think about that? A lot of people seem to think we are good together, Sam."
"Yes, we are good together, we only lack one thing." He looks at me. "You know I am right, you don't love me that way. We are more than friends, we are family. You and me Sue no one else, you and me always. I will never let you down and I will always fuck that pussy of yours if you let me, but I do want more. I want a girl who loves me, really loves me. I might never find her, but I am not going to settle for anything less and neither should you. Doesn't mean I don't love you. You will always come first, but I want that girl who looks at me with pride, who wants to give me the world because I light up her life, who not only laughs and shakes her head when I have done something out of line. That is not us Sue. I might be naïve, I might have to change my ways to keep her if I ever find her, but hell if I do she sure as fuck will be worth it."
I stare at Sampler in disbelieve. "Holy shit Sam. You feel quite passionate about that don't you?" I mock him just a little. "But you are right babe. You are perfect in many ways, but you are not the right one." I sigh. "I shouldn't be saying it and you will probably hold it against me, but even though you have always been pretty strict in some ways, you have always let me roam free and I need someone who sets some boundaries. Someone who I respect and love enough to want to …"
"Change your crazy ways for Sue. That's what I mean, you will figure it out. You, me and old Tigger out there, we do just fine on our own and we love it that way. We don't do to well with bullshit and drama with people who try to make us do something or be something that we are not. Old Tigger is probably worse than the both of us together, at least we can get on with basically everyone if there is something to gain for us. We pretend if we need to, but Tigger, he doesn't pretend or change for shit Sue, remember that. What you see is what you get and you will only get what he wants you to have."
"I like the way he fucks me." I giggle.
"I fucking bet you do, that's the only thing that worries me." He laughs. "Seriously Sue, if it is old Tigger that you want and he feels the same. Fine with me."
"Thank you Sam." I hug him a little tighter.
"It's alright, me and Tigger have already worked out the visitation rights. I get the even weeks, every other weekend and we split the holydays. What's it called, co-parenting?"
"Fuck you." I say as I slap his chest and kiss him on his cheek.
He walks me back into the main room, his arm around my shoulder. I say goodbye to the guys. It is harder for me than I expected. They all have their own unique things and I have spent more or less time with them all. I leave Tig for last, he still hasn't moved from his spot at the head of the bar and the more goodbyes I have said, the darker the look on his face seems to become.
"Take care Hap." He lets me give him a hug but doesn't overly hug me back or anything. "I feel like you have been going out of your way for me, fixing my pick-up and … I dunno ... Thank you."
He leans down and talks to me in a low raspy voice. "You keep your ass out of Vegas understand?"
I look up to him and frown, everyone told me to take care, to look after myself, to come back whenever I wanted. "You have a strange way of saying goodbye."
"Not telling you to do anything Suzy Sue, you will do the right thing." He says as he pushes me away. I don't know what it is with Hap. I look into his eyes, dark eyes that tell me nothing. I frown at him hoping he will give me more to go with, Happy is observant, like Tig and he must see the need for more on in my face. "I know Suzy Sue."
My breath stops for a moment and a wave of fear rolls over me. What does he know, that I will figure it out or is he telling me something in between the lines. I look at him one more time and just nod.
I jump on Sampler, wrapping my legs around his waist and he spins me around. "See ya when I see ya suugs, crazy bitch. If ya ever need a good lay you know where to find me."
"If I need someone to come and bail me out I know who to call too."
We share a kiss and he squeezes my ass, before I let myself slide down back on my feet. "Love ya babe"
"Dito hun."
I walk to Tig and let my fingers run over his lower arm before I let my hand rest on his arm. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled up and he looks first at my hand and then at me. "Will you please walk me to my truck?" I ask.
He doesn't say anything, he just lifts his arm up causing my hand to fall off his arm and finishes of his beer. He walks towards the door and turns around when I am not following him quick enough. He looks at me with an annoyed expression on his face as if I kept him waiting for at least an half an hour doing my hair and make-up. I take a deep breath and follow him outside. I wonder if the guys are placing bets again, I have no clue what to put my money on. Tig walks through the door and I have to be quick to catch the door before it falls shut in my face. Dickhead.
"Don't be such a dick Tig." I say and the minute the words leave my mouth I regret saying them.
He turns around and I know that I pushed him too far. "Me a dick Sue? You serious?"
I lower my voice to a near whisper. "I am sorry, don't be angry with me. I have to go."
"The way I see it, you don't want to go to Vegas. That doesn't mean you have to go."
"We have been over this earlier Tig, you tell me why I should stay." Come on, give me one reason to stay.
"I haven't fucked you yet." He says with a smirk.
Ok, that is one reason, but not exactly what I was looking for. "You do know that you are acting like a spoilt little brat right?" I reach out my hand and place it on the side of his face. "I don't fall for the same trick twice mister."
"I don't like not knowing where you are." He says, his eyes giving me a serious stare. He grabs my hand from my face and kisses the palm of my hand before he lets go.
It is a sweet gesture that makes me go weak inside. I soften the look in my eyes and smile at him. "You can't lock me up and throw away the key. I would certainly appreciate the kinky side of it, but after a while the novelty wears off. If you want to know where I am I can send you a postcard."
"You know you are being a stubborn little bitch right?" He glares at me. "Quit pretending and start admitting what this is all about. You can settle anywhere you want Sue, you just want to run and keep in hiding." He has this cocky 'know it all' attitude over him.
Practice what you preach Tig, you quit pretending and start admitting what this is all about. Whatever this is about, because I don't know anymore, maybe I want there to be something that there is not. Maybe I am wanting to read something between the lines and am fooling myself to think that there is more than just his interest in my pussy.
"I am not going to fight with you Tig, me leaving has fuck all to do with you. So we either say goodbye or we don't. See if I care." My words sound harsh and that's how they are meant to be. I wish it was different, but I am not going to stand here and listen to some self-centered brat. I am not leaving because of him. If I was to stay, that would have a great deal to do with him.
"You got twenty-four hours Sue and I think you are wasting time." He says as he turns around and walks back to the clubhouse.
"Fine!" I look at his retreating back. The reaper on the back of his cut is staring at me as if it is laughing in my face. I want to shout something after him, just something to let him know I am angry and disappointed. There is just nothing that I can think of that would suit what I am feeling. I sigh and say. "You could have asked me to stay Tig."
He must have heard me and his walk slows down, for a moment I think Tig will stop to turn around and come back to me. Of course he doesn't. Tig would never do that, I am even pissed off for thinking it. Dickhead.
I get into my pick-up and slam the door shut. I sigh and look at the dark road in front of me, waiting for me behind the Teller Morrow gates. I open the window and light up a cigarette. Where the hell am I going?
I turn the music on and smile when I hear the tunes come through the speakers. Midnight Rider of the Allman Brothers is playing, the song couldn't be more suited and I take it as sign that I am doing the right thing.
I start the engine and crank up the volume, life is good, at least it will be soon. I drive off the lot singing along to the Allman brothers.
I've got to run to keep from hidin', And I don't own the clothes I'm wearing, And I've gone past the point of caring, But I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no No, I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no No, I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no
And I'm bound to keep on ridin'.
And I've got one more silver dollar,
But I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no,
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.
And the road goes on forever,
And I've got one more silver dollar,
But I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.
Some old bed I'll soon be sharing,
And I've got one more silver dollar,
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.
AN: hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you think. I said there would be a lot more Tig and Sue in this chapter, but the two of them decided against it with their stubbornness. I am not done with them though and I will get my way!
