That afternoon

That afternoon

Catherine nervously smoothed her skirt again as she waited in the lounge, watching as the clock crept closer towards one. She tried to ignore the nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach. "It was amazing" she thought, "she could look at horribly mutilated bodies and be fine, and yet for this she felt as if she could vomit at any second."

"Ms. Willows" a young man with dark hair approached her, "I'm Lieutenant Mark Richards, I'm handling this investigation." He introduced himself as he quickly extended his hand. "Come this way."

Catherine mutely followed him into the conference room, despite his outwardly friendly nature, she knew by his reputation that while his demeanor was intended to put people at ease, to try and build trust, that he was a definite by the book man and could be a bulldog on a case.

"Ms. Willows, I have here your reports from the department psychologist, results of interviews with the rest of your team, and the report from Dr. Grissom about his view of what happened at that crime scene." He began, indicating a very thick folder as he spoke. "But before we get to all of that, I'd like to ask you for your story. I know the psychologist says you are still having trouble remembering all of it, though have started to recall some parts. Also I would like for you to begin from the incident a few weeks ago from when you were attacked."

Catherine nodded affirmatively as she took a deep breath to begin her tale. She first related her attack and her feelings after that, knowing that he had all the information from the psychologist anyway so it was best to be up front about it as she told about the nightmares, the increased anxiety. Being honest about how she had tried to mask it at work so they wouldn't know she was still affected by it.

"Ms. Willows, we don't have the psychologist on staff just to give us another salary to pay." Lt. Richards said with an exasperated sigh. "He's there as a resource, people in law enforcement deal with so much that they need that resource. You were attacked at a crime scene, your supervisor recommended you go for counseling, and you didn't. Then something like this happens." His tone was not as friendly as it had been originally.

"I know. Hindsight is twenty twenty." Catherine agreed, not even trying to escape responsibility.

"So why didn't you?" He prodded.

"I didn't want people to think I was weak, that I needed help." Catherine admitted, as this had been one of the revelations to come out of her sessions with the psychologist. "I sometimes forget I'm not superwoman."

"And look at what happened. You shot your supervisor. Do you have any idea how lucky you both are that it wasn't worse? That bullet could have easily hit a jugular, or the spinal cord. He could be dead, or paralyzed for life." The lieutenant's voice had taken on a steely edge as he made sure that the potential consequences for her poor decision making were clear.

"I know." Catherine said, feeling tears start to threaten again. She knew she had to take responsibility, had told herself that several times recently both in and out of counseling, but it was still hard to hear someone else say it like that.

After a moment of silence he changed course. "Ms. Willows, how would you characterize your relationship with Dr. Grissom?"

Glad for the change in topic Catherine brightened. "We're best friends," she said simply. "We've known each other for over fifteen years now". "Friends only?" he asked, his voice making the meaning clear.

"Yes, it's never been more than that." She repeated, wondering why his narrowed eyes seemed to insinuate he didn't believe her.

"Ms. Willows I'll be honest, there seems to be a good deal of speculation that you and Dr. Grissom are currently or have been romantically involved." He cut to the chase.

"What?" Catherine couldn't believe it, though for some reason she felt a small thrill she couldn't quite explain upon hearing this.

"It appears that there is an idea that you get away with mistakes in the lab because of this special relationship." He stated calmly watching for her reaction.

"Mistakes, what mistakes? We all make them, and Gil… Dr. Grissom deals with it, end of story. Sara Sidle is just jealous because she wants a romantic relationship with him and can't have it, she's jealous of our friendship, the whole lab knows it, just ask them." Catherine's eyes were blazing fire at his insinuation.

"Calm down Ms. Willows, I just needed to ask. Luckily I have years of experience and also two daughters at home so am well versed in how tempers can flare when one wants something they can't have." His tone had become more engaging again, putting her slightly more at ease. "I have reviewed all the evidence presented and am ready to announce our findings." He said, suddenly businesslike again as he nodded to the secretary in the corner who was keeping notes.

Catherine braced herself as she waited for a pronouncement that could change her life forever.

"After several interviews, reviews of your cases, and reviews of your meetings with the psychologist, this shooting is being ruled accidental. I am putting you on 6 weeks of paid leave during which you will continue to keep your counseling appointments and deal with your stress. After six weeks if you have met all requirements and the psychologist pronounces you able, you will be able to return to your job."

Catherine exhaled loudly, obviously relieved at the decision made and that she would be able to keep working with Gil. "Odd she thought, that her first thought was of whether they would be separated or not." But she pushed that back as she focused again on the Lieutenant.

"Ms. Willows, You've blown up a lab landing CSI Sanders in the hospital, and then this happens. The people you work with have enough to worry about from the outside without having to worry about you." He said as he picked up his briefcase and started putting the folders into it. "Don't forget that when you make choices on the job, you aren't the only one affected. Good luck Ms. Willows." He left her with that thought as he made his way to the door.

"Thank you," was all she could say as she sat there numbly, still letting all that had just transpired sink in.

TBC