Authoress: I'm baaaaaack!! YOSH!! I'd like to give a HUGE thanks to Alstarryn-chan and the newest member of our beta team, B.Z.-chan, for doing such an amazing job betaing this chapter!!! On to the story!

Disclaimer: I wish…If I owned Naruto, it would be one amazing Yaoi series, not that it isn't already, but there would be a great deal of yummy bits if I owned it…

Chapter Ten

Iruka let out a soft huff of air as he glanced over at the clock in the kitchen for the nine hundred and seventy sixth time – and, yes, he was still counting damn it – only to realize it was 5:30 in the morning. Surprised momentarily at the early morning hour, despite the fact he had no urge to go to sleep at any point throughout the night, Iruka could only wonder if his so-called visitor had died.

He hadn't seen Kakashi in nearly eight hours since the the man's last attempt at polite conversation, but he knew the jounin was still barricading himself in the bathroom on the other side of the apartment. Last time, the jounin had meandered into the kitchen with a 'maa' and not at all referencing his last ten hours in the shower or the slight chatter of his teeth as he spoke.

The considerate part of the chuunin was about to ask if Kakashi was alright – he really didn't want to have to deal with a hypothermic, horny jounin when he still had to go to work in the morning – but he never got the chance. That brief moment of sanity on Kakashi's part had quickly disappeared when Iruka asked if the jounin was hungry; he couldn't imagine anyone not wanting something hot to eat after such a long, cold shower. His question had been met by widening eyes, before the jounin had flown back into the bathroom without another word. I just asked if he wanted some ramen, since I didn't feel like cooking a big meal that late at night…Iruka thought to himself with a sigh. Some people just don't appreciate good noodles…

His question on whether or not Kakashi was still alive was quickly answered when he heard the shower being turned off for a second time. A part of the chuunin could not help but wonder if Kakashi had finally run out of cold water – he had a feeling there would be drought-like effects throughout the village because of that marathon shower.

Resting his elbows on the counter as he leaned forwards, Iruka's mouth nearly gaped open when he slowly came to realize that it had taken the jounin almost an entire day in order to calm himself down after simply touching the chuunin for a mere moment. In the off-chance his half-assed plan worked, Iruka sent up a small prayer of forgiveness to his behind because he was sure that, after a night with the jounin, he certainly wouldn't be sitting down for months. A part of the chuunin had to point out: Forget months, you will never sit again if that man is always like this!! Slowly beginning to feel the effects of a sleepless night, another side of the chuunin argued back. But what if he's uke?

Iruka froze at that thought, wondering if a jounin as powerful as Kakashi would prefer to be on top or bottom. The man was extremely strong, but Iruka knew that couldn't be the only deciding factor, since the chuunin was confident he was physically stronger than that silver-haired pervert. Kakashi was handsome, but had an almost feminine quality to his features – so did that make him uke? Feeling a headache coming on, Iruka tried to force such thoughts from his mind, but his sudden split with reality, and the resulting multiple personalities, had other plans in store for the poor teacher.

Maybe the reason it took him so long to calm down was because there was no penetration! Get in there, be a good host and help the man out!! This newfound part of the teacher was surprisingly perverse, considering the chuunin's normally wholesome nature. Iruka, if he had to describe the image that first came to mind to go along with the voice in his head, would have to say the creature accompanying such a voice was a smaller version of himself, complete with a suspicious grin and devilish horns... and he had a sinking feeling that the little monster would hump anything that stayed still long enough.

That's if he's uke… a more sensible side of the chuunin had to point out. This side of the chuunin, unlike its horny companion, Iruka could clearly picture as a small replica of himself wearing thick-rimmed glasses and walking around with several books tucked under one arm. It was a small comfort to know that, even when losing his sanity, a part of him was still a geek.

Maybe he's flexible…go throw him against a wall and take him! See how he reacts!

Do you really want to try raping a jounin?! Iruka had to agree with the more sensible of the two voices. He could only imagine the kind of beating – or death – he would receive for even attempting such a thing…not that he was seriously considering the other voice's idea.

I'd be raping a horribly horny pervert…I doubt he'd complain…wait…it's not rape if he agrees…and he didn't seemed opposed to us when we had that towel malfunction… At this, Iruka froze before he broke down and nodded his head in agreement. It was one thing to side with the sensible voice in his head, but to agree, even for a moment, with a perverse side of himself that he'd never before known he had, was another thing entirely.

True… Iruka saw the gears slowly turning in the miniature brunet's head as he considered that ridiculous possibility. The teacher could almost see his last shred of sanity quickly fluttering away as he imagined the two arguing sides of himself looking to him with an evil glimmer in their eyes. In unison, the two screeched: GET IN THERE AND TAKE HIM, IRUKA!!!

Dropping his head down into his hands, Iruka wondered if raising Naruto had finally made him lose his mind. He doubted there was anyone else in the village that could cause such a break with sanity without even being nearby. Then again, he did have a few problems when he didn't get a good night's sleep. Usually when he was tired, he became extremely cranky, snapping very easily at his students and other shinobi – giving rise to the rumor that he was bipolar – but he had never before pulled an all-nighter. He could only hope that hearing multiple voices in his head was a normal result of sleep deprivation. Either that or he was just losing his mind. Letting out a soft sigh, the chuunin pushed himself off of the counter, but found himself frozen in place when his eyes landed on the other side of the kitchen. Now assuring himself that he had completely lost it due to a sleepless night, he could only stare at the door to the kitchen, where a delectable jounin was leaning against the doorway, clad in nothing but his ever-present mask and a white towel that was riding low on his narrow hips. Iruka, much like his internal counterparts, had lost the ability to say anything for a moment, as all three simply stared at the beautiful image before them.

Now that is a fuckable jounin…look, you didn't even have to go find him!

Screw fuckable…he is sex incarnate…

Now, if only he had a wardrobe malfunction like us…oooh, could you imagine!?

Every part of the chuunin lost the ability to form a coherent thought at the image that idea produced. The inability to think, however, did not stop him from watching the taller man push himself away from the wall – his towel still, sadly, in place – as his muscles bunched together in a sinewy grace that had the two Iruka had quickly dubbed the Inner Irukas drooling. Almost as soon as he stood up straight, the jounin raked soaked hair away from his face, his well-defined frame rippling at the smallest of movements. Opening his natural eye, the jounin gave Iruka a look that sent the more perverse of the Inner Irukas into a mind-blowing nosebleed that threw him back several feet. The remaining voice in his head could only swallow heavily as he went to check that his companion was still alive.

"Maa…I hope you approve, Iruka-sensei…" Iruka almost followed the perverse side of his mind when he heard the honorific roll off the jounin's tongue, his voice deep sounding positively seductive as he took a step closer to the brunet. Never before had anyone spoken to him in such a tone, and the chuunin could only inwardly cry at the unfairness of life. He'd had to wait over twenty years to hear such a voice! Recalling exactly what Kakashi had said, Iruka felt his face erupt in a vibrant shade of crimson as he realized he must have been staring and, if the slight ache in his jaw was any indication, his mouth had been hanging open for some time.

The teacher wasn't sure if it was him, or the more logical of the Inner Irukas, but one of them let out a soft eep as the jounin took a few steps towards him, revealing that he had an amazingly lengthy stride, but Iruka knew he shouldn't be amazed, considering how long those lean, pale legs were. Within the blink of an eye, Kakashi was before him, towering over the shorter shinobi.

Hubba hubba! Apparently the perverse Inner Iruka had been revived by the sheer number of sexual thoughts Iruka was unable to suppress as he craned his head back to look up at the jounin, his eyes grazing over the man's lean torso and thin, almost delicate, neck that was covered by a tight strip of black material. Being this close, Iruka could see the outline of a narrow jaw line and the shape of a long, but well-proportioned nose otherwise hidden beneath the mask. As his gaze traveled upwards, Iruka found his eyes coming to rest on the jounin's unnatural eye, the red orb focusing entirely on him. Tilting his head back as far as he could, Iruka unconsciously backed up when he realized how close the jounin was and that, for some unknown reason, the tall man was leaning forwards. He could feel the warm breath against his forehead and, for a moment, Iruka had forgotten that he himself had to breathe when those warm puffs of air shifted down to his lips.

Iruka inwardly winced at the high-pitched mental squeals his two new friends let out as they realized the jounin must be getting ready to kiss him. For the briefest of moments, the chuunin couldn't help but wonder how a kiss would affect Kakashi if touching his shoulder had started the last eighteen hours of cold showers. Closing his eyes involuntarily as the jounin's nose gently brushed against his, his lips a mere hairsbreadth from the chuunin's, Iruka waited to be kissed in the same fashion as the other night, but the sweet, chaste kiss never came. Instead, what happened next made the chuunin nearly fall over in disbelief.

Whereas the other night, he could feel the material of the jounin's mask touch his lips, Iruka felt no such barrier between them now. Instead of the slightly scratchy material, the only thing that touched Iruka's lips now was indescribably soft skin. Unconsciously taking a step backwards, Iruka bumped into the counter and he flailed his arms outwards in an attempt to keep himself from falling over out of a mixture of imbalance and surprise. Whatever little bit of intelligent thought that remained in the chuunin's head quickly disappeared when he felt strong hands and long fingers grip his sides, steadying him before he made a fool of himself.

One of those impossibly gentle hands left his side, fingertips brushing against his chest as the jounin's hand traveled up. Wherever those pale fingers touched, despite the thick material of Iruka's shirt, the chuunin's skin erupted in a searing heat that made him shiver uncontrollably as his body leaned into the touch. That bare hand finally came to rest on his muscular neck, graceful fingers wrapping around to the back of his neck while a masterfully placed thumb caught Iruka under the jaw, forcing the chuunin to tilt his head back as the jounin leaned in, increasing the pressure between their locked lips.

Iruka squeaked softly when he felt a new softness against his lips, but the sound was muffled by the jounin as the older man began to slowly trace the chuunin's lips with a wet tongue. Taking a shaky breath, the chuunin released his death grip on the counter, raising one hand to weave his fingers into the jounin's hair. He could feel the dampness from the man's long shower, but the chuunin could also tell that, when dry, the man's hair would be impossibly soft and far silkier than his mussed hairstyle led people to believe. Tightening his hold on the jounin's scalp, Iruka opened his mouth, letting his tongue dart out and return that wonderful pressure.

For a moment, Iruka swore he heard the jounin curse, before he was all but thrown against the counter, pinned against the edge by the pervert's lean hips and one strong arm. He was not even given a chance to protest before Kakashi forced his mouth wide open, his masterful tongue slipping into the chuunin's mouth and tracing every inch of that warm cavern, swallowing the brunet's whimpers as he ravished the teacher's mouth in ways Iruka had never before imagined.

He'd had a few impassioned kisses in his lifetime, but Iruka had never before had his very breath stolen as he had to stop himself from begging the jounin for more of that delicious pressure. All the chuunin could do was tighten his grip on the tall man's hair, standing up on the tips of his toes as he tried to fight for dominance of the kiss, but failing badly as he felt the jounin's arm slide lower down his body and effortlessly lift him into the air. Iruka let out another squeak when he felt a powerful hand, strengthened by years of battle, grab his behind possessively. What little logic the chuunin had left realized that he would certainly have crescent-shaped marks from the jounin's strong grip, if not dark bruises, but the rest of the teacher could care less, as his new height advantage over the jounin gave him the opportunity to further deepen their kiss.

Almost unconsciously, the chuunin wrapped his legs around the jounin's middle and, had it not been for the strong hand holding him in place, Iruka would have shot into the air in surprise when he felt a definite hardness press against him, teasingly rubbing against his clothed behind. Never before had the chuunin wished he had the sense to walk around his apartment in the nude. With what little movement the jounin's hand allowed, Iruka pressed into the older man's member, receiving a soft groan from the silver-haired pervert. Surprised to find that he shivered as that sound reached his ears, Iruka found the strength to break their kiss, catching his breath for just a moment before he pressed his lips against a narrow, delicate jaw line. As his tongue ran along that jaw, Iruka discovered that he enjoyed the scratchiness to the jounin's skin where the man had obviously not shaved in a few days.

The newfound perverse side of the chuunin had to smirk at the sound that escaped the older man's lips, from his actions. Somewhere between a moan, whimper, and plea, it was, by far, the sexiest thing Iruka had ever heard and the chuunin could not help but wonder what other sounds he could evoke. Trailing a mixture of gentle kisses, even softer nips, and feather-light licks down the jounin's bare throat, the chuunin found himself quickly growing addicted to the collection of noises that came from the silver-haired man as he slowly came to realize Kakashi had an extremely sensitive neck.

"Iruka…" The way Kakashi said his name sent shivers of pleasure down the chuunin's back, warming his lower body far more than Iruka had ever experienced before. Whimpering softly as he unconsciously pressed his own need into the man's solid abdomen, Iruka reveled in the sound that came out of the jounin in response to the chuunin shifting his weight against his throbbing erection. Iruka never thought he could get someone to beg – much less someone as supposedly unfeeling as Kakashi – but he could hear the need in the jounin's voice as clear as day. Responding by tightening his legs around the tall man, Iruka continued his seductive torture by rocking his body slowly as he sucked gently on one of the pale shinobi's collar bones until he was sure he would leave a very noticeable mark.

"Iruka-sensei?" For a moment, Iruka froze when he heard the jounin speak again. He was not so oblivious to hear the change in tone as well as the fact that the jounin's voice was coming from some distance away. Iruka opened his eyes for the first time since the jounin had started kissing him, his eyes widening when he realized the man was no longer in front of him. Glancing around, Iruka was amazed to discover that he was in the same position he had been in earlier, his feet firmly planted on the ground and his body leaning casually against the counter.

Quickly searching the kitchen, he found the silver-haired man leaning against the doorframe much as he had been doing a few minutes ago, but he was now dressed in his uniform. The Inner Irukas cried over the sin of covering up such a body, but Iruka could only stare in amazement. There was no way Kakashi had had time to run to the other side of the apartment, put his clothes on, and make his way back to the doorway while still somehow being able to keep the chuunin believing he was standing in front of him and, even if he could, why would he?

"Are you okay, Iruka-sensei?" That deep voice, previously filled with emotions that made Iruka's body shiver and his toes curl deliciously, was now the normal, droning tone that Iruka had grown accustomed to from seeing the man in the Missions Office over the years. Added to that monotonous tone was a twinge of concern as the jounin looked him over with his visible eye, a pale eyebrow raised curiously. "You kind of spaced out there…"

Iruka found himself at a loss for words as he slowly processed what the jounin had just said. Finally coming up with a plausible explanation, at the same moment his two inner voices did, as to why Kakashi was on the other side of the room, fully dressed, and wearing his customary bored expression, mixed with a slight amount of worry, Iruka found his jaw dropping slightly. The Inner Irukas mirrored his expression as they slowly put words to their realization. I was daydreaming?! What the hell kind of dream was that?! Have I been hallucinating? He could have sworn he was fully conscious, but there was no other way to explain why the jounin was now walking towards him, his body not showing the cat-like grace Iruka had seen before, but lanky movements that were commonplace for the jounin and that the man's gorgeous body was hidden by his unflattering uniform.

Looking down at his hands, Iruka could only wonder if his sanity would ever return to him, now that he was so far gone that he was fantasizing about a jounin who had no interest in him other than as a means to beat Gai in one of their idiotic bets. His internal voices tried to comfort him, but only seemed to make him feel worse with their statements.

He might just be playing hard to get! Maybe he's shy, so he used his Sharingan to trick you to see how you would react…it's possible!

And tomorrow it will rain pork and miso ramen…Kakashi would never use his Sharingan for such a childish act!

You should go over there and show him who's boss in this relationship! Make him beg for forgiveness on his knees…ooh…on his knees…that's an idea…

Kakashi watched the chuunin with a raised eyebrow, not even wanting to ask about why Iruka was eyeing his counter as though he was contemplating bashing his head into it. Then again, his little trick on the chuunin was mean. He'd never used the Sharingan for anything other than strictly shinobi business, and even then, he only revealed his unnatural eye when absolutely necessary, but seeing the dazed and confused look on the man's face was priceless and quite worth breaking his self-imposed rule. And, as he had heard quoted many times to him by his crazed friends, all was fair in love and war.

And this is war, Iruka… the jounin thought to himself as he studied the man, assuring himself Iruka, in some twisted way, had something to do with why Kakashi had been locked in the bathroom for nearly a day. If nothing else, he would get back at the man for WASABI, for being humiliated by his demonic students, and, most of all, for Pakkun stealing his savings for the grand opening of the Icha Icha Paradise theme park. He didn't care if Iruka actually had little to do with any of those events, but in his hypothermic mind, he wanted someone to blame and that was all that mattered.

"Um…" Kakashi inwardly cackled when he saw the shockingly vibrant shade of pink covering the chuunin's cheeks as Iruka tried to say something intelligent. He had learned over the years that it was sometimes best to let someone's own imagination create their illusion when he used his Sharingan and, from the dumbfounded look on the chuunin's face, Iruka had quite an imagination. What did he think was happening? Kakashi couldn't help but wonder as he wished he'd been paying more attention to the illusion his unnatural eye had been weaving for the chuunin instead of outright staring at the younger man. At the time, he had been more interested in watching the chuunin's response, which he had to admit was quite interesting as well. He had never before seen someone so tan turn such a magnificent shade of red; the jounin smirked when he realized he must have a pervert on his hands if he could get Iruka to turn such colors. Another side of the jounin had been paying more attention to the chuunin and not the illusion because he still could not believe that he had never before realized how good-looking Iruka was when he was not blowing up at a student or at someone in the Missions Office.

"Maa…want to go get something for breakfast, Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi asked as he glanced over at the one clock in the kitchen, realizing that Iruka needed to start getting ready soon if he wanted to get to work on time. It was not a stalker-like obsession with the man that gave Kakashi such knowledge, but Naruto's never-ending rants that Iruka-sensei was always on time for everything, even though he had to be at the academy at what Kakashi considered to be unholy hours of the morning. Then again, anything before two in the afternoon was an unthinkable time to be awake in the jounin's mind.

Kakashi had to raise an eyebrow when he saw the light blush come to the chuunin's cheeks. This color, unlike his earlier displays, was not an unnatural color, but one that was quite becoming of the younger man and showed that he had not been expecting such consideration from Kakashi. The jounin was about to open his mouth and suggest going to a little diner where he could start his daily intake of caffeine and further his war campaign against the chuunin, but froze when the brunet suggested something first and Kakashi found himself adding a new description to the handsome, mildly bipolar man – evil.

"How about ramen?" Iruka asked innocently, hoping he could get Kakashi to one day enjoy the noodles. As he watched the visible part of the jounin's face turn even paler than his abnormally white skin was naturally, Iruka recalled how the mention of noodles had sent Kakashi back to the bathroom earlier. Not wanting to correct himself, and in the process have to ask Kakashi what his deal with ramen was, Iruka feigned complete ignorance as the jounin's mouth dropped open. Damned if he was going to let Kakashi get away with using him for a bet without being tortured in the process.

Evil bastard…he set up those ramen posters…he is in on this…Kakashi decided as he felt his visible eye begin to twitch as images concerning the tan chuunin and ramen ran unchecked through his perverse mind. Had it not been for the fact he could no longer feel his entire lower body due to the numbing effects of ice-cold water, Kakashi probably would have been back in the bathroom in the blink of an eye, but as things stood, the jounin could only gape at Iruka and wonder what he had ever done to deserve all of this. First Gai and his random bet…then those brats made me decide Iruka would be perfect to use...then WASABI…hold it…are they all in on this?! As a declared genius, Kakashi did not like passing things up as coincidence, but as a skeptical shinobi, he liked those chances even less. Narrowing his gaze at the chuunin for a moment, he had to repeat his declaration that now forced him to nod his head at Iruka's suggestion of noodles and broth for breakfast.

This means war, Iruka-sensei…

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Authoress: Kuku…I like how this story's turning out…I can only imagine what will happen next in their little "war"!!! And I did not want everyone to hate me for not having a lemon last chapter, hence the lovely kiss…So, please review and tell me what you think!! Until next time, ja ne!

B.Z.: You are a cruel, CRUEL Mistress! I mean, talk about major misunderstandings...sheesh! And Kakashi should know that "to assume anything, makes an ass out of You and Me." LOL.