The next day, Howard caught up with Raj on his way to Leonard's office. "Raj…", he hissed to attract his attention. "…are you going to see Leonard?"

"Yeah why?"

He gestured for him to hang back. "Well, you'll never guess what happened last night."

"Urm, let's see. You argued about the death star ... again," said Raj.

"No."

"Sheldon explained the theoretical element untrioctium and workable lightsaber theory."

"No, nothing about Star Wars."

"Urm...Leonard and Sheldon fought over the correct allocation of university funds next year."

"You'll never get it." he said looking around to check that no one was approaching. Then in a lowered tone he said, "Sheldon and Penny are getting it together."

Raj looked perplexed. "When you say getting it together... how do you mean?"

"I mean they are hooking up… getting jiggy… going to start dating!"

"Pfff!" Raj said.

"It's true, there was a big scene. She admitted it right in front of Leonard!" he said. "I left shortly after but I'm desperate to know what went down." He said glancing over with interest in the direction of Leonard's lab.

Raj frowned and said with a disinterested look, "This is just like that time you told me all foreigners must carry their friends 'Arms of the Nazgul' weapons back from Comic Con."

"No it's not, I swear. They have a Relationship Agreement and everything."

"Dude, don't bother, I'm not falling for it," he said, shaking his head.

"Fine, you can hear it for yourself."

They made their way to Leonard's lab. He was busy adjusting a calorimeter, when he saw them enter. "Hi guys."

"Hi," said Howard then he added, "How'ya doing?"

"Better than last night. Listen, I'm sorry about Star Wars night ending the way it did."

"It's cool, it wasn't your fault."

"Well, it's not every day you find out your girlfriend is breaking up with you for Professor Frink."

"So it's true!" Raj gasped.

"Yeah, it's totally messed up," Leonard replied.

"…but I-I don't believe it. Sheldon and Penny?!" Raj stammered.

"You're not the only one!"

"So what are you going to do about the apartment and everything?" Howard asked.

"Nothing.

"Nothing?" Howard asked

"Nope, because the whole thing is a total joke," he said.

"It's kind of surreal," said Howard.

"Yes, but it sort of reminds me of when the Green Lantern got possessed by the evil space demon, Parallax," Raj said. " Did Sheldon have a power ring?"

Howard groaned.

"Or a lantern?" Raj continued.

"No Raj is right, in a way" said Leonard. "This is crazy even for Sheldon. Maybe things got too intimate with Amy and he's freaking out."

"Or he's possessed," said Raj nodding to himself.

"So you're not mad at them?" Howard said.

"Sure I'm mad at them," he said. "…but those two won't last a week."

"Well dude. We've got your back, if you need us." said Howard.

"Thanks guys, but I know exactly where to begin..."


Penny felt so wretched; the deafening silence from the adjacent apartment wasn't helping matters in the slightest. It was her day off and she spent much of the morning struggling over what to do first. Talk to Leonard, or talk to Sheldon. Perhaps giving Leonard some space would be preferable right now. There was little she could say to make him feel better. There had been no text from Sheldon. She wanted to invite him over, to find out how he was coping. She was also desperate to know things between them were on still on track. It couldn't all be for nothing, not after their unfortunate reveal.

She began to straighten up her apartment. If he did come over tonight she didn't want him distracted by 'misaligned magazines' or clothes all 'higgledy piggledy' as he liked to call it. She wanted him all to herself. At 5pm sharp she would shower, brush her teeth and rinse twice with mouthwash. Any physical contact with Sheldon must be preceded by both, within a five hour period. As per, their impending Relationship Agreement. Once she signed, close contact with anyone else was prohibited. Kissing friends, relatives, other people's babies, pets or strangers requiring CPR, were all strictly off limits. She had made no changes to this section because she knew how difficult his phobias were to cope with. The remarkable thing about this section was not the restrictions themselves but the lack of physical constraints. There was no mention of a coitus ban, no hand holding clauses.

After her shower, she sent Sheldon a text to invite him over 'as soon as you are able' she requested.

The previous night she had texted Amy right away, "I'm so sorry Ames. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I hope we can be friends again one day." Her reply arrived this afternoon.

"I'm feeling very hurt right now Penny but I do understand. Sheldon has animal magnetism that can bewitch and beguile us all. He has no control over it!"

Penny smiled as she thought about her unusual friend. She was about to reply when someone knocked on the door. Placing her phone down she went to answer the door.

"Mrs Cooper, this is a pleasant surprise," Penny said. "Are you visiting Sheldon later?"

"Yes, but I arrived early and to try and catch you at home, seeing as this concerns you," Mary said with a worried expression.

"Sure, come on in," said Penny.

Mary made herself comfortable on the chair Sheldon would usually take. Penny thought to mention it but the look on Mary's face made her feel slightly apprehensive.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked.

"Not for me, thank you."

"So, have you and Sheldon got plans this weekend?" said Penny.

"No, he doesn't know I'm here yet. I came as soon as I heard, to sort this out right away."

"Sort this out?" said Penny, stiffening up.

"Yes, it's deeply worrying. I never had any of this funny business with my Shelly before. My two other children were like rabbits in springtime but he was always …different," she said.

"Yes, he is that," said Penny.

"His father, God rest his soul, used to say 'Mary, you can't plant a seed where there ain't no dirt. And that boys' thoughts are purer than 40% proof bourbon.'"

Penny smiled.

"So as you can imagine, when he took up with Amy I thought God had answered my prayers."

Penny felt her heart drop to the floor. "Y-you want him to go back to Amy?" she asked.

"It would be a load off my mind, and yours I'm sure."

"Not really," Penny said her eyes beginning to moisten.

"That's mighty Christian of you," Mary said, " but I will do my upmost to dissuade my boy from burdening his affections on you this way."

"Burdening his…?"

"As the good book says, 'Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you.'"

"…but Mrs Cooper, I want to be Sheldon's girlfriend."

Mary sat there for a moment in shock and then she smiled broadly, "Well ain't that just grand," she said.

"You're pleased?"

"Well of course I pleased."

"…but you said, Amy answered your prayers."

"The sad truth is, I never thought I would see my Shelly with anyone. Now that's not something a God fearing woman likes to admit about her own son. He's smarter than us all at most things but when it comes to the practicalities of life, that boy has nothing but mayflies in his head."

Penny nodded.

"Now Amy, is a fine enough young woman but I sense that she was a little similar in that department…?" They both nodded in agreement.

"…but if Sheldon is with you, well that's a completely different story. I wouldn't have to worry about my boy anymore. Not with you by his side.

"Oh, Mrs Cooper, I don't know what to say..." Penny said choking up.

"Well, I always knew you had a special way with my Shelly, a mother sees this things. I couldn't be more thrilled."

Penny leapt up and threw her arms around Marys' shoulders. "Thank you so much," she said.

"You're welcome Penny, my dear. Now I believe he will be home by now so I'll be off. I'm so glad to be delivering better news than I thought," she said.

"But why did you think the news would be bad?" said Penny feeling a rising suspicion.

"Well it was the way Leonard explained it. He said Sheldon had taken leave of his senses. That he'd broken up with his girlfriend and become infatuated with you."

"Did he now…?" said Penny.

"I take it you and him are not…"

"Not anymore," she said.

After Mary left Penny felt like marching over and saying something to Leonard, but then she remembered the shocking way he had found out about her and Sheldon. His plan had failed, so she would ignore this.

As the night drew on she realized Sheldon might not appear at all due to the impromptu nature of his mothers visit. He had texted to say he was 'detained'. Feeling only a little deflated because Mary's approval had made such a huge difference, she got ready for bed, when…

Knock, knock, knock. "Penny"

Knock, knock, knock. "Penny"

Knock, knock, knock. "Penny"

She dashed to the door and swung the door open. "Hello future boyfriend," she said.

"Hello Penny. I apologize for the late hour," he said.

"That's fine, I'm just pleased to see you at all tonight. I know your mother was here."

"Yes, on a surprise visit. I don't normally enjoy surprise visits. It was most uncharacteristic, she knows I require forewarning in order to plan appropriate activities."

Penny didn't answer incase Mary had not mentioned their little chat.

"How is Leonard?" she asked, gesturing for him to come in and closing the door quietly.

"I knocked on his door but he told me to go away. He's now being very quiet but I never really know what that means."

"It means that things are bad," she said sadly, as she went to sit down.

Sheldon thought on this for a moment and said, "We need to get our friends back."

"Yes, we do," she said. "Any ideas?"

"Hmmm, I will work on it." She didn't doubt that he would.

Sheldon made his way across the room to the chair his mother had vacated earlier. He carefully placed the Relationship Agreement on the coffee table and said, "In any case, I just wanted to drop off this revised version for your perusal."

"Thanks," she said picking it up.

"Just to forewarn you, in lieu of recent incidents, I have taken the liberty to postdate the relationship agreement three months from tomorrow," he said.

"Oh no, not a beta test!"

"No... courtship."

"Does courtship include kissing?" she asked sulkily.

"Perhaps."

"What else?" she said, eyeing him cheekily.

"I actively court you."

"Huh?" she said.

"I must woo you."

"Sheldon Cooper must woo me," she suddenly found this very amusing and began to snicker.

"Yes, I bestow gifts upon you to win your favor, you set me tasks to perform and you resist me."

"Resist you?' she laughed at this. Sliding down on to the floor in front of him, she placed her hands over his arms, which were resting on either side of his chair.

"Most certainly," he continued. "You subject me to whatever deeds you wish. You scorn me, until I lament of approaching death from unsatisfied desire."

"What have you been reading, sweetie?"

"Granted the text is a little mature but it's still immensely informative."

She slipped her hands inside his jacket. He didn't flinch or move away and she enjoyed the warmth of this body on her now cooling skin. Looking at him intently, she said. "Your eyes are amazing."

"Are they?"

"Yes, they are. They're like the ocean or something."

"The ocean is not a color if that is what you are implying. There is an intrinsic property caused by selective absorption and scattering of white light."

"You would know that," she mocked, edging closer.

"I would."

"Sheldon, I'm trying to woo you."

"I see."

"If I jumped in the shower would you could scrub my back?"

"You've already showered."

"How do you know that?"

"Because it's a stipulation of our agreement… and you're mocking me."

"I am, but I would like a back scrub?" she said smiling. "…and you could jump in with me.

He said nothing for a minute, he just looked back at her. "A lady must protect her virtue."

"Sheldon, my virtue deserted me years ago."

"Courtship is morally elevating. It is the path lovers take to become receptive to one other, before earthly desires consume them. "

"Wow…" she said. That really did sound wonderful and it didn't matter where he was getting it from. "Okay, you can go … for now" she said. He stood up and made his way towards the door.

"Very wise," he said. "My beastly motives must be kept in check." She chuckled again.

"Goodnight Penny" he said.

"Hold on mister!"

"You said I could assign tasks," she said.

"Anything, I declare myself at your service."

"A kiss goodnight," she said approaching him. "I demand it and you can't get out of it because you…" he was already kissing her. The warmth of his kiss permeated her whole body. Soft and enveloping she wanted to embrace him and never let go but it ended too soon.

"Why three months of courtship?" she asked still holding him.

"It's something I need."

Penny understood. This relationship would be a considerable transition for him. The rites and rules of courtship were something he could identify with.

"…and I promised my mother," he finished.

Penny smiled. "Let the courtship begin," she said.