Disclaimer: I do not own Gokusen or any of the characters. All rights go to the creators of the show.

Nothing was making sense; things seemed to spinning in and out of focus. Yet, at the same time this strange haze Shin was in was comforting even though it made no sense at all. He wasn't sure how much time had passed but suddenly somewhere in the distance it sounded like there was a beeping noise, which was odd. The beeping sound didn't fit with this strange haze he was in.

"Hey! I think he's starting to come around!"

"Shin? Shin can you hear me?"

"Baka! Stop shouting, you want to make him go deaf!"

The voices sounded closer now, and he felt a stab of shame when he recognized the voices, what were his friends still doing in his apartment?

"Shin, can you hear me?" Uchi's voice said again, this time softer instead of practically yelling in his ear.

By this time, Shin was awake but he stayed quiet and kept his eyes shut. It just felt so good to have his eyes closed, he felt so tired and all he wanted to do was sleep. Kuro was watching Shin and let out a sigh.

"I can tell you're awake, I've seen you sleep enough to know when you're faking and when you're not." Kuro said. Shin let out a small groan before scrunching his eyes and slowly opening them.

At first he was a little shocked. He could have sworn he was still in his apartment but he quickly discovered he was nowhere near his place the second he opened his eyes. He was lying on a bed with thin white sheets and a light blue blanket pulled up to his waist in a room with plastered white walls and fluorescent lighting on the ceiling.. There was also a needle in his arm connected to an IV drip. It was a scene all too familiar to him and a scene which he dreaded. He then discovered that the annoying beeping sound was coming from a heart monitor attached to his chest.

"You're in the hospital. You passed out and we didn't know what to do so we called an ambulance. I know you said no hospitals, but we didn't know what else to do." Kuro said seeing Shin's slight confused expression.

"You've been out cold for almost two hours now." Kuma added. Shin just nodded, but didn't say a word. All he could think of at the moment was how much did they know? Luckily, he was spared the flood of questions which he knew now were bound to come by a middle aged doctor knocking lightly on the door.

"I'm glad to see you awake Sawada, my name is Dr. Mazaki." The doctor said, introducing himself. Shin nodded to acknowledge him. He hated doctors. In his experience, doctors always meant something bad; they always came with bad news.

"How are you feeling?" Dr. Mazaki asked, grabbing his chart off the end of the bed and scanning its contents.

"Okay, I guess." Shin answered shortly, Dr. Mazaki nodded, then turned his attention to Kuma, Kuro, and Uchi.

"Well, if you don't mind I'm going to have to ask you three to leave the room for a few minutes while I examine Sawada, hospital policy." Dr. Mazaki said politely, Kuro, Kuma and Uchi nodded.

"Of course." Kuma said getting up from his seat, Uchi and Kuro followed him.

"See you in a few Shin." Uchi said, Shin nodded again. He always found it easier to avoid his emotions better when he spoke less. Dr. Mazaki walked over to his bed and offered him a small smile.

"I'm just going to take your vitals." Dr. Mazaki said wrapping a blood pressure cuff around his arm, Shin again just nodded. Once Dr. Mazaki had checked his blood pressure, pulse, and temperature he pulled up a stool next to the head of the bed.

"Here it comes." Shin thought bitterly.

"Well Sawada, you're condition is stable for now. You were severely dehydrated, but we have you on fluids and antibiotics to keep you stabilized and get your temperature back down to normal. As your doctor though, I have to ask you… have you given any thought to a course of treatment for the bacterium?" Dr. Mazaki asked, starting directly at Shin, who looked up at the doctor for the first time.

"I have been treating it, meds every day." Shin replied bluntly, Dr. Mazaki nodded.

"Yes, but I meant long-term…" Dr. Mazaki began; Shin sighed and cut him off before he could finish his thought.

"If you mean surgery the answer is no. I decided a while ago that I wouldn't have surgery. This bacterium is not going to kill me, so I don't see the need to go through with it." Shin answered flatly.

"I understand how you feel Sawada, no one ever wants to have surgery, but we did some tests and the bacterium isn't going away with just medication. This explains why this episode you had was so severe, and I think I'm right to assume that your episodes have gotten more frequent as well?" Shin nodded, he couldn't deny it, what Dr. Mazaki said was true.

"So, what you're saying is that it's gotten worse?" Shin asked, Dr. Mazaki nodded slowly.

"Sometimes when you take a certain medication for a long period of time, your body creates an immunity to it." Dr. Mazaki stated.

"Immunity? So, the medication I'm taking isn't working anymore?" Shin asked though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer, the doctor nodded.

"Unfortunately, yes. Even though you are still taking the medication regularly, your body is now breaking the drug down differently, resulting with it not being effective anymore. There's also the risk of the bacteria spreading." Dr. Mazaki explained. Shin leaned back and took a deep breath before turning back to face the doctor.

"Are there any other medications I could take that would fight the bacteria?" Shin asked.

"There are a few alternative medications we could try yes, but there is no guarantee. At this point, I strongly believe that your best chance of recovery would be to have the surgery done. It's a very simple procedure…" Dr. Mazaki began explaining only to be interrupted again by Shin.

"I don't want to hear it Mazaki sensei I'm not having the surgery. Thank you for your input, but I don't consent." Shin said firmly, his voice had a bitter edge, and Dr. Mazaki could sense his anger. He sighed then nodded. He could tell that the boy's mind was already made up, it was clear on his face that he wasn't going to get anywhere near an operating room unless it was life or death.

"I understand." Dr. Mazaki repeated.

"So, now what? Can I go home?" Shin asked sitting up only to have Dr. Mazaki gently push him back against the pillow.

"Not so fast. We're still waiting on some test results and I would like to monitor you for a minimum of 24 hours to see how your body reacts to the nutrients and antibiotics, just to make sure it doesn't set off another episode." Dr. Mazaki explained, Shin was unable to suppress a moan of protest at these words. He knew it was childish to complain, but the thought of spending the night in the hospital was nowhere near pleasant.

"I feel fine now." Shin protested, even though it was somewhat of a lie. In truth, he felt better than he had earlier, but his body still seemed to ache everywhere and he still felt rather sick to his stomach. Not to mention that he had absolutely no energy at all. With years of medical training under his belt, Dr. Mazaki quickly picked up on this.

"Oh, really now? So, you're telling me that you don't feel sick or any pain at all? Wow, I wish all my patients recovered this quickly." Dr. Mazaki said with a small smirk.

"Cut the sarcasm crap, I don't need to hear it." Shin replied bitterly, he really wasn't in the mood to be made fun of.

"Alright Sawada." Dr. Mazaki said standing up.

"Think about what I said, I'll be back in a while to see how you're doing. If you need anything in the meantime don't hesitate to ask, just push the red button on the control." Dr. Mazaki said, gesturing to the hand control hanging off the side of the bed, Shin nodded to show he heard him.

"I'll let your friends know that they can come back in." The doctor said before offering Shin a small grin and leaving the room. At the mention of his friends, his stomach did a summersault that had nothing to do with bacteria. What should he say to them? How much do they already know? He was only spared a few precious minutes by himself before the door slid open and Kuma, Kuro, and Uchi sauntered back into the room.

"So, what the doc say?" Uchi asked, Shin shrugged as if it was nothing.

"Nothing really, he said that I'm stabilized for now, and a bunch of medical babble I didn't understand, no big deal." Shin replied coolly. Kuro rolled his eyes; he knew it wasn't the truth.

"Bull shit." Kuro said after a minute.

"Kuro…" Uchi began, but he shrugged him off.

"No, I'm sorry, but I'm tired of this. People don't start vomiting and pass out over nothing Shin. This is why you came back to Japan isn't it? What is it? What disease do you have?" Kuro said seriously, staring directly at Shin, who refused to look at him Instead he continued to lean back into his pillow and concentrate on his breathing.

"You don't understand." Shin said quietly after several minutes.

"Well then…help us understand." Kuma said, offering Shin a small smile, Shin just shook his head.

"Shin…aren't you tired from always running away from it? I know how much effort it takes to act strong, to put on that mask for everyone to see, it's exhausting. Isn't it about time you gave up the fake façade?" Kuro spoke softer this time, more comforting, he sensed that Shin was getting upset.

Suddenly, something snapped inside of him, everything he had been trying to suppress and ignore the past couple months seemed to come crashing down on him in less than a minute. He didn't even realize at first that he had started crying silently, it wasn't until he let out the first choked sob that he realized he was crying at all, and that's when the damn broke. He couldn't seem to stop himself, the tears kept coming on their own accord and he gave up trying to keep them quiet.

"I'm…sorry." He muttered between sobs as he tried to brush the flow of tears away, not sure what else to say.

"There's nothing to apologize for. I'm actually glad you're showing some emotion, makes you seem human still." Uchi said with a smirk and gently smacked Shin's back.

Kuma wrapped an arm around his shoulder and shook him in a friendly/comforting way.

"It's okay Shin." Kuma said. Shin merely nodded. Just as he thought he was finally gaining some control over his emotions again, he suddenly started coughing. Uchi grabbed the plastic cup on the table next to his bed and filled it up with water.

"Take it easy." He said handing Shin the cup, he sipped the cool liquid then set the cup back on the table.

"Thanks." Shin said weakly, still clearing his throat. The three of them sat in silence again, while they waited for Shin to answer, when he didn't say something, Uchi spoke up.

"So, considering we've spent over two hours sitting in these hard ass chairs, you think you could tell us what's going on?" Uchi said with a small grin on his face. Shin took a staggering breath and let it out slowly. There was no way of escaping it, and as much as he wished it wasn't true, Uchi was right.

"You're right; this is why I came back to Japan." Shin said quietly, he could see the worry etched onto his friends faces.

"Is it…serious?" Kuma asked, even though he felt it was a rather dumb question considering their current surroundings.

"It's not going to kill me if that's what you mean." Shin said bitterly.

"I…I have a bacteria in my stomach alright." Shin said louder than he had been talking before, but still not daring to look up. He didn't want to see their expressions again.

"Is…is that what that medication you took before was for?" Uchi asked, Shin nodded. He decided he would answer their questions with as little talking as possible.

"So, is this bacteria treatable?" Kuro asked, at this Shin groaned.

"Yes….well…I'm not so sure right now." Shin answered honestly, Kuro's eyes narrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean?" He asked, Shin let out a heavy sigh.

"It means, according to this doctor, the medication I've been taking isn't being effective anymore. Something about my body creating an immunity to it." Shin explained, not wanting to go into detail.

"What….what does that mean?" Kuma asked repeating Kuro's question.

"Look, I don't know exactly what's happening right now alright." Shin said, the edginess creeping back into his voice.

"Don't they have like alternative treatments now or something? Something other than medication that could treat it?" Uchi asked, Shin shook his head.

"Sort of." Shin replied frustrated.

"Sorry." Uchi muttered, seeing that Shin was starting to lose his patience again, Shin let out a heavy sigh and shook his head.

"Don't worry about it." He muttered.

"It's a mess." Shin said randomly a few minutes later. Everyone knew that he was horrible at expressing his emotions but sometimes when he did, they would pour out of him out of their own accord. He hated showing this much emotion, but he didn't have the energy to think about what he was saying, something he NEVER did. After all, everyone has a breaking point right? At least that's something Yankumi would say at a time like this Shin thought bitterly.

"Life is a mess, care to go into detail with that?" Kuro said with a smirk.

"Shut up." Shin replied, offering Kuro a smirk in return, he was starting to feel a little bit. He shifted his weight on the bed and absentmindedly scratched at his arm where the IV was.

"They want me to have surgery, but I'm not going to." Shin said his voice quiet again. They all looked at him curiously.

"But Shin, if this surgery can cure you…" Kuma started.

"No." Shin replied using the same flat tone he had with Dr. Mazaki.

"First of all, there is no one-hundred percent guarantee that the surgery will be successful and second of all, this bacterium won't kill me, so it's not like I'm going to die without it." Shin explained in the same monotone voice. He was starting to feel real tired again, crying did that to you, he hated crying, showing weakness. Regardless of how many times Yankumi had said its okay to show weakness, it was still something Shin Sawada wasn't good at.

"So, you're just giving up then?" Kuro asked his expression neutral.

"It's not like that." Shin muttered in response.

"Damn your stubbornness." Uchi said quietly, but Shin still heard him, not knowing what else to say he sunk back into the bed again and closed his eyes. Kuro studied him and could tell that he wasn't faking this time, he needed the rest.

"Get some rest we'll see you later ne?" Kuro said standing up, Shin nodded to show he acknowledged what he had said still keeping his eyes closed, maybe it was the antibiotics but he didn't think he could open his eyes even if he wanted to, and even the lumpy pillow and thin sheets felt warm and cozy all of the sudden.

Kuma, Kuro, and Uchi made their way out of the room as quiet as possible. They walked outside together, neither one of them saying a word, each lost in their own thoughts.

"He'll be okay right?" Kuma asked out loud.

"What? Of course he's going to be okay." Uchi replied quickly, and he truly believed that. The Shin Sawada he knew wouldn't be beaten by any bacteria.

Okay, so I don't really like this chapter and I apologize if it felt like it kind of dragged on. Also, I wanted Shin to break down and show some emotion, but I REALLY didn't want to take him out of character. So please some feedback would be greatly appreciated, good or bad.

Another note, I apologize if some of the medical things aren't accurate, I really tried to make everything as accurate as possible. I did do a little research and especially with prescription drugs it's possible to create an immunity to them.

Thanks as always for sticking with this story, and again let me reassure everyone that I will NOT kill of Shin. Also, I promise that I will bring Yankumi back into the story along with a few other characters that have sort of been neglected lately.

As always reviews are greatly appreciated. :D

Thanks as always,

Fantasyforever1989