Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, or 'The Grinch'
"I wouldn't get too excited, Little Red" Faith chuckled.
"Why?" cried Sophie, throwing her arms in the air. "Why does this always happen?"
"I don't know" Faith shrugged. "It's just the way most stories happen, I guess. And unfortunately, this one is about to take a big turn for the worse.."
A little while later, Faith stood on the stage at the Town Hall, with Buffy, Graham, and Riley, who frowned, trying to hide his discomfort at the Scoobs' new positive feelings towards Faith as he stepped up to the microphone.
"Well, it's the time you've all been waiting for.."
"Yeah, time for my Award!" chuckled Faith, slinging an arm around Riley's shoulders, leaning in to whisper, "And don't forget the cheque."
"There is no cheque" Riley frowned.
"Are you sure?" said Faith in mock-innocence. "I could have sworn somebody said there was a cheque." She winked at Buffy, who giggled and batted her eyelashes.
"That was you" said Riley, clenching his fists as he watched Buffy's renewed interest in the Dark Slayer. "And there is no cheque!" Seeing the looks of disapproval on some faces in the crowd, he swallowed, trying to calm himself down. "Anyway, it is now time for our Annual Present Pass-It-On, and, as usual, the Cheermeister goes first!"
Faith couldn't help feeling just a little excited as Riley handed her the parcel. It had been a long time since she had received a Christmas present.
Sophie was suddenly not so enthusiastic.
"Mama Tara" she said with a frown, "Does Mayor Riley look a little bit too happy?"
"Yes" said Tara suspiciously, bouncing a grizzling Lily who also seemed to sense something amiss. "He does."
They didn't have to wait long to find out why. Faith ripped open her gift to find Christmas-themed a paint set, just like the one with which she had disastrously made-over her hair all those years before.
"Oh no" Tara sighed, knowing this couldn't end well.
Buffy gasped in disbelief at how Riley could still be so cruel.
Faith's expression was deceptively calm, though her knuckles whitened as they gripped the paint set.
"Good memories, huh?" Riley grinned, slapping Faith on the back. "Next, a special gift for the love of my life.." He turned to Buffy and knelt down on one knee, pulling out a velvet box topped with a sprig of mistletoe, and opening it to reveal a hideously large diamond engagement ring. "Buffy Summers, will you do me the honour of becoming my Wife?"
"Well, I.. what I mean is.." Buffy panicked, still in shock. She tried to meet Faith's eyes, but the Dark Slayer looked away, defeated and heartbroken. Afterall, what could she offer Buffy when she had a chance to marry the guy in charge of the whole town?
"If you agree to be my Wife, Buffy" Riley continued, "You will receive not only a lifetime of happiness, but also.. A brand new car!" The car rose up from beneath the Scoobs feet. "Generously provided by the taxpayers" Riley added at a whisper. "So how about it?"
"Well.." said Buffy nervously, wondering how the hell she was going to get out of this.
"You've got twenty seconds on the clock!" Riley signalled the Scoobville band, who began to play countdown music.
Buffy looked very uncomfortable as the countdown began.
Nobody noticed as Faith slowly headed towards the car.
"Look, Riley" Buffy sighed, "We're kinda friends, I guess, and these gifts are nice and all.."
There was a sudden, ear-splitting screech, and the Scoobs turned to see Faith draging her sharpened nail along the side of the car.
"Of course they're nice" she said, with a cold chuckle. "That's what it's all about right? It's what it's always been about! Gifts. Gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, GIFTS!"
The Scoobs gasped and backed away, their new admiration of Faith gone as quickly as it had come.
"And you want to know what's funny about your precious gifts?" The Dark Slayer continued. "Want to know what's really funny? They all end up in the same place.. YOUR GARBAGE!"
The Scoobs backed away further.
"I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I find down there. It never ends!" Faith cried, throwing her arms in the air. "'I want Putt Putt golf clubs!', 'I want a bicycle!', 'I want that dolly that pees her pants!'"
The other Scoobs gasped again, but Sophie sighed, thinking that Faith had a point.
"And don't even get me started on pets!" Faith continued, frowning. "I have a dog. His name is Echo, and he's the sweetest, most loyal pet anyone could want. And you want to know how I got him? ONE OF YOU DUMPED HIM DOWN THE TRASH CHUTE AT CHRISTMAS!"
Some of the Scoobs looked a little guilty, while the rest just remained frightened.
"But" Faith took a breath, apparently trying to calm herself as she headed back to the stage, "There is one Christmas tradition that I like, and that's mistletoe" she grinned, leaning in close to Buffy before plucking the sprig of mistletoe from the top of the ringbox, then bending over and holding it above her butt. "So pucker up and kiss it, Scoobville!"
Buffy fainted.
Riley marched towards Faith, scowling.. Until crying out in horror when the Dark Slayer smeared a handful of green paint through the middle of his hair.
"Oops" she said, not looking at all sorry. "Oh well, you look fabulous!" Faith laughed, before leaping off the stage into the crowd. The Scoobs panicked, rushing off in all directions.
"Everybody please remain calm!" shouted Police Chief Xander, a few seconds too late.
"Let's get out of here, quick!" said Willow, grabbing Sophie and Tara by the hands and pulling them away.
"No!" cried Sophie.
"Faith, you don't have to do this!" Tara called desperately to her friend. "You're better than him!"
Unfortunately, Faith was beyond reason.
"Mind if I grab a light?" she said, snatching a lighter from Spike's pocket.
"Hey!" said Spike, annoyed.
Faith ignored him. She lit a cigarrette, took a drag, and then flicked the ashes into the giant Christmas tree in the center of the town, setting it ablaze.
"Burn, baby, burn!" Faith cackled.
"Come on, now we really have to go!" yelled Willow in a panic.
"Okay" Tara sighed.
"But.." said Sophie.
"You tried, Sweetie" said Tara sadly, as they rushed into the throng of panicking Scoobs. "There's nothing else we can do now."
As chaos reigned around her, Buffy slowly began to stir.
"Whoa" The blonde looked around, eyes widening as she spotted the flaming tree. "Whoa" she repeated when she saw Riley's hair, trying not to laugh.
"Graham, do something!" Riley cried.
"Uh.." Thinking quickly, Graham grabbed a nearby electric razor, and shaved away the green portion of his Boss' hair.
"That wasn't what I meant!" Riley shrieked.
"Calling all units, calling all units!" Xander called desperately into his megaphone, unable to calm the Scoobs by himself.
"Yo, Taxi!" Faith called. One stopped, but as soon as the driver realised who they had stopped for they zoomed off again, screaming. "It's because I'm gay, isn't it?" she yelled, annoyed, before grabbing a passing car and pulling it to a stop with her Slayer strength. "Hey" she peeked in, grinning at the terrified couple inside. "Mind if I hitch a ride?" The couple fled from the car, also screaming. "Look out, Scoobs!" Faith yelled, jumping in and taking off at an insane speed. "I don't have a license!"
The Dark Slayer drove madly through the streets, causing multiple accidents and adding to the mayhem that her outburst had already caused, before finally crashing into a fire hydrant near the trash chute. She sat up, slightly dazed, before realising that petrol was leaking from the car.
"IT'S GONNA BLOW!" she yelled, running, seemingly in slow motion, and diving down the trash chute back to Mt. Lilbit seconds before the car exploded.
As the panic died down, the Scoobs began looking around in shock. The town looked like a bomb had hit it. The Christmas tree as destroyed. Scoobilation was ruined.
Mayor Riley was furious.
"Graham, what are the damages?" he asked.
"Aside from the tree, some cars, and a few buildings, thankfully not that much" Graham replied.
"Wonderful" said Riley, rolling his eyes, before turning to the ones he believed to be responsible for the whole mess. "Willow?"
"Yes?" said Willow nervously, pushing Sophie behind her.
"I'm disappointed, Willow, and that doesn't come easily for me" said Riley. "But your daughter.. Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised by this sort of thing coming from a child of yours, what with your little episode a few years back.."
Willow's cheeks reddened, and she bowed her head in shame.
"Hey!" Tara snapped, "You promised to never judge us on that!"
"You are just as much to blame, Tara" said Riley haughtily. "Everybody knows that you used to be friends with The Dark Slayer. You probably filled poor Sophie's head with stories about how she's 'not as bad as everyone thinks'."
"My Mama Tara didn't do anything!" Sophie cried, fighting back the tears that pricked the corners of her eyes. "I just.."
"Let's just get back to Christmas, the way it should be" Riley snapped, holding up a hand to silence the little girl. "Faith-less!"
"Well, actually.." said Graham.
"Shut up!" Riley scowled, as he and his assistant walked away.
The crowd of Scoobs turned to glare at poor little Sophie. Buffy, Angel, and Spike were among the few sympathetic faces.
"I.. I just wanted everybody to be together for Christmas" said Sophie, taking a few steps backwards as tears began to stream down her cheeks. "This isn't what I wanted.. This isn't what I wanted!" She turned and ran away, sobbing.
"Sophie!" Tara cried, pushing Lily into Willow's arms before running after her, "Sophie, Honey, this isn't your fault.."
"It's okay, we found the spare Christmas Tree!" Xander announced, as he, Andrew, and Jonathan appeared, carrying said tree. As he saw the other Scoobs, he realised he had obviously missed something. "Uh.. Merry Christmas?"
Sophie ran into her room and threw herself onto her bed, still sobbing. Tara entered soon after, sitting and scooping her daughter into her arms.
"I still don't think Faith is bad, Mama Tara" Sophie cried against her Mother's shoulder. "Do you think Faith is bad?"
"No" said Tara. "I never have. But.."
"But what?" said Sophie, wiping her eyes.
"Well, I've kind of been wondering what changed your mind."
"She saved me" Sophie explained, sniffling. "When I was at the Post Office with Mommy Willow I fell into the Sorting Machine, and Faith was there, and she saved me. She wouldn't have done that if she was bad."
"No, she wouldn't" said Tara with a smile. Sophie's story had just confirmed what she already knew- The Dark Slayer's heart was not as small as she liked to believe. Sophie had somehow reached it, and that meant there was still hope.
"Yay!" cried Sophie.
AN: Hi! Hope all of you had a nice Christmas. I came down with a nasty gastro in the week before Christmas, and then my family hosted Christmas lunch, so I've been very short on time. However, I am well now, and I promise to get this and my 'Scoobies: The Santa Experience fic done as soon as possible so I can get back to work on my other stories.
